I'm a star in my own country western song. I'm bleary eyed tired since I put my father to find in then hospital then his very old antique poodle got sick. I was afraid he'd no longer be able to make bad jokes about sleepin with a gray bitch but she got better and is now peeing on my carpets........A...

I confess that I've lurked here looking for creative wit,wisdom,evidence of a thought process and just plain silliness. I confess that I've veiwed DF as an entity most resembling a bad fart. It can be hard ignore a noxious presence but I beleive the stench is harmless. I confess that I have teenage ...

Dear Patience, That pouty bitch Angelina Jolie hasn't returned my calls and I'd rather have Isotopia rock my world anyway. You must be very busy counseling the confused masses and I would like to send you my most obstererous teenage son. I beleive he'd be most helpful in your public relations depart...

Did you know that drinking moldy poppy tea can create a royal FUCK up in the functioning of the brain. I posted my distress (post # 666 on the FUCK thread to be exact) and thank Lydia and Blenderhead for expressing empathy. Opiate detox is the best guess by the doctor so far for my fathers continued...

What a fucking, wretched, horrible day. I put my father in the hospital yesterday. He's 89, a fragile, aged warrior who once watched his ship the USS Arizona (Pearl Harbor)go down in flames. My Dad who has taught me to love books, language ,the art of a well placed word. He always supported art ende...

Dear Patience,
I need your help. Last night my feet were sooo cold I couldn't sleep so I put some nice warm buttered mashed potatoes in my socks and dreamed about the magnificent goddess Isotopia. I now have a frightful congealed mess of old potatoe stuck to my socks. Whatever shall I do????

It's just a little number that reflects your test taking abilities and classroom aquired knowledge. I stared at the screen as the seconds ticked by and breathed a sigh of relief that my humble score did not send me into fits of low self esteem. Darn, I'll never be a member of that special mighty big...

.....Well of course he turned the lights out and didn't brush his teeth...word gets out you know about those potatoes in your pants....Hey, even I could figure that out.

......once upon a time, long ago; I worked for "Taco Bell" a.k.a. Farto Bell. One task was to clean the small rocks out of bags of pinto beans. I quit the job when the sleazy manager persistently offered to share his personal hot tamale with me ... how thankless of me. My faithful dog ate my textboo...