For those of us not going this year

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Professor Tawdry
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For those of us not going this year

Post by Professor Tawdry » Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:58 pm

How to enjoy it at home - blatantly plagiarized from Violet Blue (who borrowed it from someone else...)

# Before eating any food, drop it in a sandbox and lick a battery.

# Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.

# Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

# Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for five hours.

# Have a 3 a.m. soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny.

# Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.

# Turn your heater up full blast, day and night.

# Put up a sign outside your house that invites random strangers on drugs to come inside and eat your food.

# concoct a mixture of sweat, makeup and dust. Re-apply throughout the week.

# Hide mp3 players in every room in the house playing dance music- dont turn them off for 192 hours.

#Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in your bed every night before you get into it.

# Have your housemates / Significant other randomly hide the toilet paper at least 3 times a day.

# Try to pay the pizza guy with home made beaded necklaces, booze and/or a backrub.

# Charge anyone who uses your fridges icemaker two dollars.


I added a few- Add your own and repost :)
Wheres my fucking gift?

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ibdave
Posts: 3520
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:09 pm
Burning Since: 1998

Post by ibdave » Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:12 pm

How to enjoy it at home - blatantly plagiarized from Violet Blue (who borrowed it from someone else...)

# Before eating any food, drop it in a sandbox and lick a battery.

# Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.

# Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

# Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for five hours.

# Have a 3 a.m. soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny.

# Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.

# Turn your heater up full blast, day and night.

# Put up a sign outside your house that invites random strangers on drugs to come inside and eat your food.

# concoct a mixture of sweat, makeup and dust. Re-apply throughout the week.

# Hide mp3 players in every room in the house playing dance music- dont turn them off for 192 hours.

#Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in your bed every night before you get into it.

# Have your housemates / Significant other randomly hide the toilet paper at least 3 times a day.

# Try to pay the pizza guy with home made beaded necklaces, booze and/or a backrub.

# Charge anyone who uses your fridges icemaker two dollars.


********************************************

# Go for an evening stroll, bend down to pick up a glow stick MOOP only to have it yanked away from you.. Raver Trap....

I added a few- Add your own and repost :)
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I was Born OK the 1st Time....

Don't bring defaultia to Burning Man, take Burning Man to defaultia...... graidawg

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trilobyte
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Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2004 10:54 pm
Burning Since: 2004
Camp Name: Brainy Bar
Location: San Francisco
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Post by trilobyte » Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:30 pm

I've seen a few variations on this one. The original was written by Paynie, he runs the Bouncy Bouncy Club.

~Trilo~

blyslv
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Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2003 2:22 pm
Location: Fanta Se NM

Post by blyslv » Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:10 pm

Or you could instigate your own Art Incineration Incident in the middle of someother fucking nowhere (but closer to home).

It Is The Burner Way.

We will not watch it burn on the web, we will burn stuff ourselves.

All y'all R invited, if you're not going to the playa.
Fight for the fifth freedom!

Spacewrangler
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:16 pm
Location: Denver,CO

Re: For those of us not going this year

Post by Spacewrangler » Fri Aug 24, 2007 3:03 pm

This is very funny, however not going is not. I am sorry to hear that you can't go but happy to see that you did not lose your sense of HUMOR. I am printing this and taking it to BlackRock Lemonade and share your humor.
Spacewrangler out. :lol: :( :D :x :? [quote="Professor Tawdry"]How to enjoy it at home - blatantly plagiarized from Violet Blue (who borrowed it from someone else...)

# Before eating any food, drop it in a sandbox and lick a battery.

# Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.

# Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

# Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for five hours.

# Have a 3 a.m. soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny.

# Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.

# Turn your heater up full blast, day and night.

# Put up a sign outside your house that invites random strangers on drugs to come inside and eat your food.

# concoct a mixture of sweat, makeup and dust. Re-apply throughout the week.

# Hide mp3 players in every room in the house playing dance music- dont turn them off for 192 hours.

#Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in your bed every night before you get into it.

# Have your housemates / Significant other randomly hide the toilet paper at least 3 times a day.

# Try to pay the pizza guy with home made beaded necklaces, booze and/or a backrub.

# Charge anyone who uses your fridges icemaker two dollars.


I added a few- Add your own and repost :)[/quote]
'Never Leave Fun to Have Fun'

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Dork
Posts: 2065
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2004 6:01 pm
Location: Las Vegas

Post by Dork » Fri Aug 24, 2007 4:09 pm

# Don't bitch about spam piling up on Eplaya, because all the moderators are gone and are having way too much fun to bother with such trivial matters. It'll get deleted eventually.

honeyfire
Posts: 180
Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2004 4:49 pm
Location: Denver, Co

Have sex. Or not...

Post by honeyfire » Fri Aug 24, 2007 4:50 pm

# Find a random extremely attractive weirdo. Gaze deeply into their eyes for quite a while. Have a deeply meaningful soul-sharing conversation.
Kiss them gently on the cheekbone like a butterfly, never see them again.
I'm just trying not to be liveMOOP...

Civil rights: use 'em or lose 'em!

kinetica
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:19 pm
Location: San Francisco

who a bitter daddy$

Post by kinetica » Tue Aug 28, 2007 8:14 pm

sounds fun but i'd still rater be there

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diane o'thirst
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Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2003 5:04 pm
Location: Eugene, OR
Contact:

Post by diane o'thirst » Tue Aug 28, 2007 9:56 pm

Don't use your hardwired lights. Use a headlamp and solar lightstrings and lanterns instead.
[url=http://tinyurl.com/245sagf][img]http://tinyurl.com/2bbr28j/.gif[/img][/url][url=http://tinyurl.com/23753ws][img]http://tinyurl.com/2auqebj/.gif[/img][/url][url=http://tinyurl.com/m4y82q][img]http://tinyurl.com/l56rdn/.gif[/img][/url]

oxcrete
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:50 pm

Post by oxcrete » Sun Sep 02, 2007 11:09 pm

# when you have to go to the bathroom - get on your bike and go pee in your neighbor's yard

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