My First Burn Is Changing My Life (long)

Antranik · Post by **Antranik** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 4:11 pm

I discovered Burning Man around Sept 2007 thanks to a new friend. Ever since I started Googling to find what BM really is, I became completely fascinated by the idea. I went to the LA Decompression and saw the most radical art and I was the only one wearing normal-clothing. Then I went to this Lucent L'amour by DoLabs and again, I was faced with hardcore artists of every level. It's like a completely different underground culture and it's so intriguing because I only feel closer and closer to home.

Through all these tiny samplings of burning-man-stuff, at the same time I have been really faced with a problem of figuring out WHY I want to make a living.

In my mind, I know that I can be Who Ever I Set My Mind To. Now the question is, who do I want to be? And this is a tough question given all this free will. What is my internal reason to go out there and make money/make a living? So I have been trying to FIND that drive, that reason, to do anything. Trying to find what it is that I'm really passionate about. I enjoy the work that I do (energy healing) and it is completely my own business, so to make it grow, it is completely my responsibility to do so. Finding the WILL to do so is not so easy!

So...I've been scouring eplaya and tribe threads for months and collecting vital info and tips so I can be totally prepared. As I start preparing for my supplies, I am starting to realize that I want a nice tent, and good lighting, and maybe a cool solar-powered generator for the fun of it!

And all these things take money. BURNING MAN HAS BECOME MY MAIN DRIVE to go "out there" and make a living beyond just the bare minimum!!

Burning man is all I care for. All these months that I have between now and the start of the event, my focus and will to do anything is because of this event.

I now have a strong will to LIVE.
I have quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey for the past 4 weeks. I've been chained to these fuckers for 2 years and never been able to stop like this.
I am becoming more self-aware of what it's going to take to survive in the elements.
I am becoming as "green" as I can.
I have started BICYCLING in place of driving my car purposely whenever I can even though my home is 2 miles from the nearest ANYTHING and all uphill on the way back (fucking hard!).
I biked from Calabasas to Sun Valley and BACK. (40 miles round trip and I've never done anything like that in my life, it was liberating)
I am asking my friends if they wanna bike with me, they love it too!
I am keeping my eyes out for cool clothes or lights or camping supplies at stores.

All in all, I want to be healthy. I want to be ready to bike all over the playa. I want to meet the chaos in the eye and smile and laugh and revel in that moment. I want to experience burning man in all its glory. BM has become my life.

Oh and another thing..... I have realized that there is no point in trying to convince anybody to go to Burning Man. Some say the excuse that the ticket price is too high which is complete and utter bull shit, they just don't see the value in it. That is the truth.

When my best friend asked me, "So.. what are we gonna do at burning man during the day.. just walk around and see art?"

There was no answer to that. I was completely stumped and knew right then and there that he's not coming b/c he doesn't GET it. And that's OK. I've learned to make peace with myself that nobody else will probably come with me except for my younger brother (who completely loves the idea of BM). So I don't try to convince anybody to come to Burning Man, I just mention it and tell them a little about it and tell them to google it themselves. No point in spoon feeding people who keep their eyes and ears and mouths closed.

Anyway, my first burn is changing my life and I love it.

Thank you all for being so awesome.

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 4:26 pm

You can't MAKE someone get it they either do already or they have to experience it first. I am so fucking tired of trying to explain to morons just what it is that makes Burning Man so great and not just because the answer is different for everybody but because it seems like no one really listens. You seem to be one of the ones that get it before you go, I was the same way before my first time last year, a born Burner. You're on the right track, keep doing what you're doing and don't let anything stand in your way. You may think you have a pretty good idea what you're getting yourself into but I guarantee it's going to be even better. See you at "home!"

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 4:58 pm

I didnâ€™t realize this until on the drive home from my first burn, but the words â€œWelcome Homeâ€

Omnithought · Post by **Omnithought** » Sun Mar 23, 2008 12:43 pm

This will be my first burn, and I've noticed the same thing. I don't really talk to people about the burn unless they're already interested. There's no possible way to explain what it is, I don't think. All I can do is recommend they go to the burning man site and read for themselves.

I think there are some who just wouldn't get into it, and aren't meant to burn.

plowman · Post by **plowman** » Sun Mar 23, 2008 1:16 pm

Burning Man means different thing to different people.
Ask any burner what it means to them and why do they go and
you will get a different answer each time

Rat Bastard · Post by **Rat Bastard** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:40 am

There are two types of "Burners".

There's the jobless, work just enough to get by and survive. Ask to borrow your drum cause they had to pawn theirs for a ticket etc. Their entire life revolves around making it to the next burn. Transient drifters with no real perminent source of income. ie: dirty hippies

And then there's the ones that spend thousands of dollars OR hours of time creating things like large scale art, theme camps, mutant vehicles, fire art, performances and all the other cool things that make BM so visually orgasmic. Some of these are trust fund babies but a majority of them have careers, educations, families and normal lives while keeping BM in the back of their head scheming and plotting all year round.

The rest aren't "Burners". They're tourists who come in mass to check out the freakshow they saw on Current TV

Which are you?

Don't quit your day job. The burn is much more satisfying when you have something to release. When your whole life is a burn, I can't imagine that one week being very rewarding. With everything in life, moderation is key. Incorperating the values that a lot of Burners have into your life is a good thing. But that does not mean obsessing and revolving ones whole life around a fire & art festival is a healthy value.

Glad to see "another one bites the dust".

SYOTP

hunter S · Post by **hunter S** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 9:06 am

Rat, I think your F_ _ _ing wrong! I gave up my "day job" moved to a beach in Mexico found a new way to make a living all because of BM!
My girlfriend & I met at BM. We now live in a carport on a beach, scheme all year round about BM projects, live green, build art for our own enjoyment & to drive the mexicans crazy.

We enjoy our BM exspierence just like people enjoy Christmas every year!

If Burning man lights a fire in you & you embrace the idea...it's all good
No one can say one life style over another is going to make you enjoy the Burn any more or less than anyone ellse!

Post by **mdmf007** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:06 am

Rat, I am the stress relieveing, mortgage paying, wasting time at work on the computer to be on eplaya type of burner. Without BM I would have shot my neighbors, and coworkers at least 4 years ago.

thats how I roll.

ragabashpup · Post by **ragabashpup** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:26 pm

There are so many more than 2 different types of burners because each person takes something different out of it and it is something different to each person. I am not a dirty hippie and I am not a trust fund burner. I am the single mother who spends day in and day out dreaming of BRC. I make costumes and I order them. I am spending time with my 4 year old making necklaces to gift out. Maybe one of these years I will get to work on a big project but at this point in time in my life I can't.

Rat Bastard · Post by **Rat Bastard** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:46 pm

However, all three of you fell into one of the two categories if you read closely enough.

One lives in a carport. (1st type) Excaping from the default world.

One has a career. (2nd type) Still in the default world.

One has a family to care for. (2nd type) Still living life in the default world

Thanks for making my point my fellow burners. I guess one could sum it up with "There are those that return to the default world after BM and those that don't." Not including the ones that were never IN the default world.

ragabashpup · Post by **ragabashpup** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:52 pm

Okay Rat I just wasn't thinking broadly enough. Sorry had a long and stressful day at work and not reading through things to clearly.

The sum works a bit better for me

Dork · Post by **Dork** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:04 pm

I have a neighbor who every time he sees me working on BM stuff says he wishes he could afford to take a week off to go camp in the desert. He owns an expensive boat and trailer he uses collectively for maybe a week a year, then bitches about them the other 51 weeks. He's in a prison he built for himself.

I returned to the default world, but am in the process of extricating myself. Getting rid of all this crap (house, job, possessions) is difficult, but liberating. I don't know if BM set me on this path or not, but it certainly gave me a clearer view of what's really important.

undeclared · Post by **undeclared** » Mon May 12, 2008 12:50 am

I agree each person takes away their own experience from BM, for my friend, it was a chance to meet her lover again, be in a place where people care for each other,

for me it was a chance to give my life some balance, some foundation. the art was nice, the people were welcoming, and I always felt at home.

I go because its a place where I can be me, something I tend to never reveal in the default world.

It changes the way I think towards other people, and a lot of my friends just don't understand it or don't want to understand it.

I met a few good people down there, I can't wait to go home this year!

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Mon May 12, 2008 10:44 pm

Rat Bastard wrote:Not including the ones that were never IN the default world.

I think that might be me, (although I'm dangerously close to being a "dirty hippie") and I take it as a compliment!

Speaking of guys who were never in the default world,

"Sure I could get up every day at dawn and go to a job that does not inspire me creatively at all. Or, I could get up at noon and learn to play the sitar. " - Bill Hicks

gidget · Post by **gidget** » Sun May 18, 2008 7:26 pm

Antranik,

Sounds like you've met some cool Burners, and I hope your first burn is as awesome as you hope it will be. This will be my sixth year and so if I may offer a bit of advice to a first time burner, let Burning Man change your life but leave your expectations at the door. My worst years out there have been the years I made too many plans in the hopes of having the "best year ever". When you get there, just take the ride. The playa has a plan for you. I've seen a few virgins with really high hopes completely self destruct (I mean really lose their shit) by getting overstimulated or the week not going as perfectly as they planned.

I hope you don't take this as a downer cause that's not how I mean it. I think the positive impact BM has had on your day to day life thus far is fabulous. Your spirit for BM is beautiful and I hope it doesn't get crushed by some unhappy event or some asshole or whatever. Just let whatever is going to happen, happen.

Have a fantastic time and welcome home.

wynturmute · Post by **wynturmute** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 9:26 pm

I've known about it for a while but this is the first year that I made plans to attend. I've been trying to improve my self ever since I made the choice to come. I too feel it pulling me in and changing the way I see things.
Its the first hope I've been willing to allow myself in a while.
May we cross paths...

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 9:43 pm

I didn't want to go to Burning Man..but my wife talked me into it. She hated it..I loved it, and now were separated. I felt at home, the morning after day 1. Day one was hard..culture shock on a massive level. Every year, I come back with a new inspiration. 10 years later, I still come back with something new. Don't try explaining it to people in the real world. They either wont understand, or won't believe you.

Rat Bastard · Post by **Rat Bastard** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 11:01 pm

Fucking jump in both feet noobs.

Well, at least some people find them selves to be human from time to time.

But at least treat the new life like "the lifestyle" and bring it in gradually.

Sheesh

bigbluedoggy · Post by **bigbluedoggy** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 11:02 pm

2006 was my first year. I'd heard about BM for many years and had a friend who went for a couple of days in the late 90s or early 2000's. I'd always harbored a secret desire to go but it always sounded a little too outside the box for me. Then I ended up as a partner in a new company and discovered one of the other partners was a Burner. I met several of his friends as they were getting prepped for 2006 and they asked me the question... Why aren't you going and joining our theme camp? Checked the calendar and it was wide open for the end of August. Called up my friend who had done the fly by a few years before and asked if he wanted to go. Sure! Tickets got bought and off we went. Made a costume, bought some blinkies, put together the requisite supplies and headed out to the playa with a determination to leave myself at the gate. It was the best choice I ever made! I don't think I've ever had more fun in my life than on the playa. It's like something in me got released. There's no one moment that stands out, just the entire experience and environment and the people. We were both hooked and decided right there we'd be back every year for the foreseeable future.

Ironically, all of those folks who we camped with in 2006 aka the Bubble Bar, all decided to take last year off, so my friend and I were left with a dilemma... what do we do now? I don't drink, so staging a bar didn't seem like something I was that interested in. So we pondered and came up with the Destiny Lounge idea and started working on our big new game for last year and putting together a whole new camp. Ice tea, lemonade, shade, great music. It really all came together and we had an amazing time last year with a whole new crew of folks, some vets and many virgins. And this year we started working on our new game back in April. Even with that, I still see the coming August as a feverish month of activity to get everything put together!

I've told many folks in my life about Burning Man, but I don't try to sell anyone on it. I have friends I think would just have the time of their lives out there, but other than mention it occasionally, I leave them be. Most people just don't get it. I really only want folks in our group who have an honest desire to be there and help us create something unique. I won't say Burning Man has taken over my life, but its certainly reworked my focus for my leisure time and whatever spare money I can come up with... lol.

Do I envision leaving the career behind and living a nomadic Burning Man existence year round? Well not unless I find myself filthy rich suddenly. I also enjoy my work for the most part so its not so bad, but having BM as a creative outlet has become supremely important to me. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything! Looking forward to hearing "Welcome Home" again very soon!!! Sorry for the long ramble...

Barbie · Post by **Barbie** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 11:15 pm

Ahhhhhhh Yeaaaaaaaaaaaa less than 63 days tooooooo GOOOOOOO

pizza PizzZZZaaa pizzaa and Kool AID

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:29 am

TomServo wrote:I didn't want to go to Burning Man..but my wife talked me into it. She hated it..I loved it, and now were separated. I felt at home, the morning after day 1. Day one was hard..culture shock on a massive level. Every year, I come back with a new inspiration. 10 years later, I still come back with something new. Don't try explaining it to people in the real world. They either wont understand, or won't believe you.

What was your wife expecting?
Any idea?

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:37 am

Could think of all kinds of rotten things..but they never happened. Till we got home..Fuck it! Im a better person because of her. I don't blame her, I thank her.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:35 am

I mean if she wanted to go, she must have expected something she would like.
It must have been very different from what she thought.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:53 am

It was nothing like she expected! It was in 99, but their was no free sex. I liked it because I started building shit. I think she wanted a free lay. And this was AFTER we were married. Given , she was 5 years younger than me..and still into partying. I think she expected sex..and it's kinda fucked she dragged me on her journey..but..doesn't matter anymore

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 3:39 am

Hard to believe she couldn't find something to do.
Some things its better to find out sooner than later.

It seems it is really easy for people to not get what is going on, even when they are here.
I have run into this with some of the Paiutes that have come.
People need a more detailed explanation of it all.
I ran into an llc employee out just to work.(There are a few.)
She had no real clue of what was going on.
I explained a little about theme camps and so on and sent her to find her burn.
And she did.
She was pretty miserable before.
It's not easy working at someone else's party.
Especially if it just seems like chaos.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:04 pm

The first two days, she went out looking for "THE" camps...Like Bianca's, etc.. Came back unhappy..but by day three, the playa was starting to kick her ass. I kept going..enjoyed everything I encountered. Started planning for 2000, while still on the playa.

It would have been a MAJOR bummer, to have found out her motives, on the playa! I'm glad it happened though..wouldn't be too into living life in a loveless relationship. And, in a strange way, I'm glad she dragged me out their. It changed my life.

ZaphodBurner · Post by **ZaphodBurner** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:47 pm

Antranik wrote: Anyway, my first burn is changing my life and I love it.

Wow, that never happens...

What I appreciate is that you understand that "the burn" is already happening.

When you get to the playa, don't stare at it too hard or you won't see it. Let it stare at you.

-catharticusx

"and when you wake up it's a new morning
the sun is shining its a new morning and
you're going, you're going home..."

Marscrumbs · Post by **Marscrumbs** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 1:56 pm

...only alot dustier.

wynturmute · Post by **wynturmute** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:20 pm

[quote="ZaphodBurner"][quote="Antranik"]
Anyway, my first burn is changing my life and I love it.
[/quote]

Wow, that never happens...

What I appreciate is that you understand that "the burn" is already happening.

When you get to the playa, don't stare at it too hard or you won't see it. Let it stare at you.

-catharticusx

"and when you wake up it's a new morning
the sun is shining its a new morning and
you're going, you're going home..."[/quote]

Thank you.
I almost wept with understanding when I read this...

SirSlackworthy · Post by **SirSlackworthy** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:20 pm

Rat Bastard wrote:However, all three of you fell into one of the two categories if you read closely enough.

One lives in a carport. (1st type) Excaping from the default world.

One has a career. (2nd type) Still in the default world.

One has a family to care for. (2nd type) Still living life in the default world

Thanks for making my point my fellow burners. I guess one could sum it up with "There are those that return to the default world after BM and those that don't." Not including the ones that were never IN the default world.

I beg to differ. The argument smacks of a false dichotomy. This isn't a binary world. I think ragabashpup was initially correct.

My life is an example: dropped out of high school, hitch-hiked around the country, worked marginal jobs, went to festivals, slept in my car, worked in Silicon Valley, bought & programmed a computer, travelled the world as a sales engineer, wrote & performed magickal rituals, became prez of an out-out-law motorcycle club (guess which?), staged performance art / pranks, bought a house in the country, had kids, made plenty bux, hosted mini-burns in the back 40, conducted seminars on an extremly wide variety of topics from the mundane to the esoteric, taught Sunday school, engaged in unspeakable practices with other consenting adults, built theme camps, nurtured realtives friends and lovers, took many naps. And I continue to do things throughout the "other 51 weeks" that are not BM-related and are definitley not evocative of the default world.

In short, I live in the default world, but BM is not my "only escape". IF there was no BM, I would be doing all that other wierd shit also. In my spare time, not for money (usually). Does that make me a #2? Don't know. I work a job and support myself and my family so maybe it does. But BM is not an escape for me, it's just one of many outlets I have for radical self-expression. My first Burn was neither a revalation nor an epiphany: it was a validation of what I have been doing and who I have been all along.

And I think the argument can cut both ways: those who are marginal, or manage to make their living self-employed or creatively, still have to live in the default world and eat plenty of shite to get by. There is as much political BS in a ditch-digging crew or anarchist collective as there is in a corporate boardroom. I know because I have experienced both.

There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who put people into one of two categories, and those who do not.

Bottom line is, I get by with as little trouble and effort as possible, and goof off as much as possible. Denying clear delineations and expanding gray areas facilitates that. Applied Hedonics is my specialty. Time for some more loafing now.

- Sir Redmark Slackworthy the Blue
Kingdom of Loafington

My First Burn Is Changing My Life (long)

My First Burn Is Changing My Life (long)

That wasn't so long!

Re: My First Burn Is Changing My Life (long)

I came back from burning man the same guy that I left...

Re: My First Burn Is Changing My Life (long)