The Kingdom of Loafington is a Sovereign State. Black Rock City ends at our borders. We play by our own rules. They are:
No one may become a Loyal Subject, that is to say a Serf, without first becoming initiated into the Order of the Space Monkey, which requires the Sponsorship of a member of the Royal Court. Getting to be a Squire is even harder. You wanna become a Knight? Good luck.
Loafington is devoted to Free Trade. We exact Tribute from our Protectorates and trade those commodities with the wealthier camps for Schwag and Bling to enhance the Courtâ€™s Prestige.
If itâ€™s orange, itâ€™s Loafingtonâ€™s. Get your own color.
The Royal Sovereigns encourage their Loyal Subjects to revel in their inadequacies and flaunt their iniquities without shame or compunction. Fuck â€˜em if they canâ€™t take a joke.
When you Sin, and Sin you will, you will need to get you some Absolution. The prerequisite for Absolution is Confession. El Grand Inquisitor is the Kingdomâ€™s designated Confessor, but his wayward habits and short attention span makes it unlikely that he will be able to hear your Confession at any given time. So Sin early and often, Confess sincerely and completely to yourself each and every time, and you shall be Absolved without fail.
Our Kingdom exemplifies non-productivity. Art, performance, community building, social networking, and similar exertions are anathema to the Loafington Lifestyle. Goof Off, Kick Back, Chill Out.
The Kingâ€™s word is Law. Itâ€™s easier that way. Less time thinking and more time playing. Obey the Royal Edicts or else answer to the Holy Order.
Lifting No Trash
Castle Loafington is kept neat and tidy. We throw all our refuse upon the midden outside the walls. It is donated to the DPW upon our departure. No muss, no fuss.
The Kingdom is a safe, comfortable, and pleasant place to relax in the shade, drink in hand, and watch the freak show go by. You want entertainment? Go to Thunderdome.
Whatever is happening in the here and now, there is something else more fun and exciting occurring in another place and time. Letâ€™s go check it out.
Kingdom of Loafington
Fairlane & 4:30
What you said.