Ten Principles of Loafness

SirSockpuppet · Post by **SirSockpuppet** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:35 am

The Kingdom of Loafington is a Sovereign State. Black Rock City ends at our borders. We play by our own rules. They are:

Radical Exclusion
No one may become a Loyal Subject, that is to say a Serf, without first becoming initiated into the Order of the Space Monkey, which requires the Sponsorship of a member of the Royal Court. Getting to be a Squire is even harder. You wanna become a Knight? Good luck.

Trading
Loafington is devoted to Free Trade. We exact Tribute from our Protectorates and trade those commodities with the wealthier camps for Schwag and Bling to enhance the Courtâ€™s Prestige.

Branding
If itâ€™s orange, itâ€™s Loafingtonâ€™s. Get your own color.

Radical Self-assuredness
The Royal Sovereigns encourage their Loyal Subjects to revel in their inadequacies and flaunt their iniquities without shame or compunction. Fuck â€˜em if they canâ€™t take a joke.

Radical Self-confession
When you Sin, and Sin you will, you will need to get you some Absolution. The prerequisite for Absolution is Confession. El Grand Inquisitor is the Kingdomâ€™s designated Confessor, but his wayward habits and short attention span makes it unlikely that he will be able to hear your Confession at any given time. So Sin early and often, Confess sincerely and completely to yourself each and every time, and you shall be Absolved without fail.

Communal Slack
Our Kingdom exemplifies non-productivity. Art, performance, community building, social networking, and similar exertions are anathema to the Loafington Lifestyle. Goof Off, Kick Back, Chill Out.

Absolute Monarchy
The Kingâ€™s word is Law. Itâ€™s easier that way. Less time thinking and more time playing. Obey the Royal Edicts or else answer to the Holy Order.

Lifting No Trash
Castle Loafington is kept neat and tidy. We throw all our refuse upon the midden outside the walls. It is donated to the DPW upon our departure. No muss, no fuss.

Spectating
The Kingdom is a safe, comfortable, and pleasant place to relax in the shade, drink in hand, and watch the freak show go by. You want entertainment? Go to Thunderdome.

Distraction
Whatever is happening in the here and now, there is something else more fun and exciting occurring in another place and time. Letâ€™s go check it out.

Kingdom of Loafington
Fairlane & 4:30

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:01 am

It can't be all that if they are handing out knighthoods to sock puppets.

MerkinMan · Post by **MerkinMan** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:37 am

[quote="theCryptofishist"]It can't be all that if they are handing out knighthoods to sock puppets.[/quote]

Huzzah!

I would add that the creation of the list above required a considerable amount of time and effort, which seems contrary to the stated tenets of the Kingdom of Loafington.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 11:26 am

Yes, you've been hard at work, shame on you.

Rev_Sysyphus · Post by **Rev_Sysyphus** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 3:34 pm

Ugly Dougly wrote:Yes, you've been hard at work, shame on you.

Putting up the castle wasn't much work at all and once the castle and great hall was up there was heaps and heaps of loafing to be had!

Besides giving a good flogging to the sycophants, or psycophants, who deserved it can hardly be called work!

And I would not also call watching all those beautiful ladies who went shirtcocking for us work in any way shape or form!

So in the end, a little bit of work, and lots and lots of loafing and hedonism. I think the ratio of work to slack was just right!

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 11:37 am

You mean you can induce a wistful young lady to take up the White Man's Burden of shirtcocking?

Sigh.

Rev_Sysyphus · Post by **Rev_Sysyphus** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 11:43 am

Ugly Dougly wrote:You mean you can induce a wistful young lady to take up the White Man's Burden of shirtcocking?

Sigh.

Not just 1 but at least 4. Maybe 5?

Good times had by all

MerkinMan · Post by **MerkinMan** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 4:12 pm

I kinda feel like an honorary Loafer. My camp was about 75 feet away from yours....but I couldn't be bothered to actually get up and go visit you. If that's not loafin', I don't know what is! You had a great looking castle though...nice work!

Rev_Sysyphus · Post by **Rev_Sysyphus** » Thu Sep 25, 2008 7:18 pm

MerkinMan wrote:I kinda feel like an honorary Loafer. My camp was about 75 feet away from yours....but I couldn't be bothered to actually get up and go visit you. If that's not loafin', I don't know what is! You had a great looking castle though...nice work!

Were you guys slightly to the side across the street with the karaoke machine? If so you guys made a merkin for T&T, two (pretty freakin hot) gals who were shirtcocking to become loyal citizens. Usually the King takes them out but he was busy so I had the pleasure of escorting them to find pants. They went across the street and that camp made them merkins to cover up with bondage tape. I approved!