Zillion by Dorothy Parker:
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.
I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high my head
I think "How lucky are the dead.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
Dorothy Parker, 'But the One on the Right,' in New Yorker, 1929
They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.
Dorothy Parker, 'Fair Weather,' Sunset Gun, 1928
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
Dorothy Parker, Here Lies (1939), "The Little Hours"
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.
Dorothy Parker, Not So Deep as a Well (1937), "Comment"
Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker, Not So Deep as a Well (1937), "News Item"
She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
Dorothy Parker, speaking of Katharine Hepburn