Gay Gloryhole Theme Camp for "Straight" men

Post by **Elderberry** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:21 pm

Eric wrote:
JStep wrote:What does it mean when you just don't really care? When you see being "out" as wearing your sex life on your sleeve?
I don't think you meant it this way, but to clarify: coming out isn't about who you have sex with, it's about who you love.

Imagine not being able to even mention to a co-worker that you're meeting your girlfriend for dinner after work, or when you're asked "what did you do this weekend" you have to hem & haw about going skiing with her. Imagine your family cutting your spouse off when you die because you're not entitled to a state-recognized marriage and you think you're too young to need a will (which happened to a friend).

Denying who you love cuts to the core of Who You Are. Turning "Who You Are" into "having sex in dark corners" degrades the person and creates all sorts of mental issues.

Being openly "gay" means I can mention John in normal speech and not have to pretend he's my "room-mate", not telling you what we did or didn't do in bed.

In all honestly, I think homophobes think more about what we do in bed then we do anyway. We're too busy living our lives.

I was about to quote out that exact sentence in Jstep's post to respond to, but your answer is more than sufficient.

ron miller · Post by **ron miller** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:47 am

Zach,
Check your email, I sent you a message.

r

tiredofbeingnice · Post by **tiredofbeingnice** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 12:33 pm

This thread taught me that just because someone is "out of the closet" doesn't mean that they are any less (or more!) confused about their sexuality than someone else.

JStep · Post by **JStep** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:17 pm

Eric wrote:
I don't think you meant it this way, but to clarify: coming out isn't about who you have sex with, it's about who you love.

Is that to differentiate between coming out and sexual orientation? I was all set to disagree with you but thought to ask if maybe you're not saying what I am reading.

Imagine not being able to even mention to a co-worker that you're meeting your girlfriend for dinner after work, or when you're asked "what did you do this weekend" you have to hem & haw about going skiing with her. Imagine your family cutting your spouse off when you die because you're not entitled to a state-recognized marriage and you think you're too young to need a will (which happened to a friend).

I can imagine that, but I don't think it requires a person to wrap their personal identity up in their particular social taboo for the rest of their lives in order to just be themselves.

Denying who you love cuts to the core of Who You Are. Turning "Who You Are" into "having sex in dark corners" degrades the person and creates all sorts of mental issues.

Being openly "gay" means I can mention John in normal speech and not have to pretend he's my "room-mate", not telling you what we did or didn't do in bed.

I think you can do that without making a lifestyle of it. JMHO lol.

In all honestly, I think homophobes think more about what we do in bed then we do anyway. We're too busy living our lives.

What makes you think I'm a homophobe?

Post by **Elderberry** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:33 pm

JStep wrote:What does it mean when you just don't really care? When you see being "out" as wearing your sex life on your sleeve?

Let me clarify exactly how I feel about this: "Coming Out" has nothing to do with "Flaunting" or "wearing your sex life on your sleeve". It means that you don't have to really care anymore. You don't have to lie about who your partner is if you are invited to the company picnic or your cousin's wedding.

Oh, and I don't think Eric thinks you are a homophobe, though I can't speak for him, you have never said anything to indicate you were even close.

JStep · Post by **JStep** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:00 pm

Trishntek wrote:To be honest, "sex life" has little to do with my "lifestyle". In fact since Trish's illness, more than a year-old now,,, well I'm sure you understand. I know people who go on endlessly about their kids or boy scouts or classic car or racing in the Baja. How is that any different than me talking about what floats my boat, i.e. Burning Man? Or more specifically, my "lifestyle" of self-expression and self-reliance.

I don't mean "lifestyle" to mean activities and interests someone has. I mean when someone takes an interest or activity and makes it their identifying social uniform. I think it usually degrades peoples individuality, putting them in this box that they have to maintain and live up to. (someone mentioned pigeon hole earlier)

Probably just my personality I guess, I just find it sad and tacky.

Not sure if it sheds light, but here's a conversation I had with a guy about a year ago. He's a conservative guy, christian, black guy. We got to talking about politics and he was asking me what I thought about various things. I mentioned being very socially liberal and believing in some things, one of which was marriage equality and civil rights. His reply was that he didn't hate gay people, he just didn't agree with their lifestyle. I was amazed. I said something like dude that doesn't even make sense. He asks what do I mean. I ask him what he would have thought if I told him I didn't hate black people, I just didn't agree with their lifestyle. Not sure if he got it or not. Black people aren't defined by their blackness any more than gay/bi/etc people should be defined by (or define themselves by) their sexual orientation.

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:04 pm

I think this idea needs one reminder... there is no such thing for women: "straight", gay or in between.

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:06 pm

jkisha wrote:
Eric wrote:
In all honestly, I think homophobes think more about what we do in bed then we do anyway. We're too busy living our lives.
I was about to quote out that exact sentence in Jstep's post to respond to, but your answer is more than sufficient.

Exactamundo. Some are so worried about this fantasy perversion vision in their mind that they have no idea what the reality of our lives are.

It really throws people for one hell of a loop when they find out I'm a happily (and legally) married Lesbian (god, that's coming out all over in here, wonder what happened??) who's not only deeply involved in her church (and no, it's NOT the MCC) but "writes" (paints) traditional Russian Orthodox Icons, does volunteer work, supports her wife's work to get her PhD, travels all over, holds a high profile job, and that our lives revolve not around some sordid nightly sex scene, but around the love and respect we've had for each other for going on 12 years now. Oh yeah, that neither of us are high profile "out there" participants in the LGBT stuff.

(Why is it when I see LGBT I think of a deli sandwich???)

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:16 pm

Because your either in the north or west coast... In the south it GLBT. which sounds liek jello, but reminds me of gay pride because being gay int he south, its the only day that the straight protesters fear us and not the other way around.

Not that we'd harm a fly, especially since gay pride here is like BM but gender reversed.

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:21 pm

Lettuce, Gloryhole, BACON and Tomato

Post by **Elderberry** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:23 pm

Bay Bridge Sue wrote:
jkisha wrote:
Eric wrote:
In all honestly, I think homophobes think more about what we do in bed then we do anyway. We're too busy living our lives.
I was about to quote out that exact sentence in Jstep's post to respond to, but your answer is more than sufficient.
Exactamundo. Some are so worried about this fantasy perversion vision in their mind that they have no idea what the reality of our lives are.

It really throws people for one hell of a loop when they find out I'm a happily (and legally) married Lesbian (god, that's coming out all over in here, wonder what happened??) who's not only deeply involved in her church (and no, it's NOT the MCC) but "writes" (paints) traditional Russian Orthodox Icons, does volunteer work, supports her wife's work to get her PhD, travels all over, holds a high profile job, and that our lives revolve not around some sordid nightly sex scene, but around the love and respect we've had for each other for going on 12 years now. Oh yeah, that neither of us are high profile "out there" participants in the LGBT stuff.

(Why is it when I see LGBT I think of a deli sandwich???)

LOL I was surprised to find out you were a lesbian too!!! Now to find out you paint Russian Orthodox Icons, that's just too much! Are you Russian Orthodox? If so, are you "out" in your church? I am asking because that is my background; but the church back in Cleveland that my family belong to aren't that open and accepting. Attending my parents funerals was very uncomfortable! (Well, being an atheist now doesn't help much either

)

Post by **Eric** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 9:16 pm

Bay Bridge Sue wrote:"writes" (paints) traditional Russian Orthodox Icons

Wow! I love Orthodox iconography, and have been wanting to take a class on them since I was a kid (I threatened to convert & join a monastery at one point in my teens, mainly so I could learn this). I discovered a class offered in SF, it's on my "to do" list when I get employed & can have fun again.

JStep wrote:I ask him what he would have thought if I told him I didn't hate black people, I just didn't agree with their lifestyle.

You get it. Completely.

The homophobia line wasn't directed at you, just a general statement of truth I threw out there.

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 9:51 pm

Who are you when you are all alone? That's the real you.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 9:55 pm

Trishntek wrote:Who are you when you are all alone? That's the real you.

+1

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 12:38 am

gosh! this thread has turned into the most fascinating thing. finding things out about people that makes no difference to me. some of the most reasoned debate i have ever seen. without people seeming to get upset.
I dont really have anything to contribute though.

AKDMAN · Post by **AKDMAN** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:56 pm

Trishntek wrote:Lettuce, Gloryhole, BACON and Tomato

I like my LGBT in the morning, starts the day off right

Tamino · Post by **Tamino** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 5:39 pm

Wow what a topic. To get back to the original post, there were two gay camps where you could get it on guy on guy. Comfort and Joy has a tent named Afterglow and its basically a circus tent with mattresses, blankets, pillows, condoms, lube, water (for those who are dehydrated) and hand sanitizer. You can cruise and play at your leisure. The other camp was the Down Low Club right down the street from C&J. It was just a big army tent with a bathhouse feel to it. glory holes, a sling, mattresses, condoms and more hand sanitizer. Very dark and seedy. The Moonbow camp originally hosted it in 2009 because Stiffy Lube was not going to be there (it was just, not advertised.) Oh and don't forget the Teabagger's ball. They were at full serve/self serve in 2009. Can't remember where it was in 2010.

As far as coming out... That is a personal decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. Accepting that you are gay or bi has nothing to do with who or where you have sex and whether or not you decide to be a slut or not. There are plenty of guys who are gay and don't f%$k around and there are others who are nasty pigs. And not to mention the vast range of people in between the extremes.

What you want to do at Burning Man is your own thing. Nobody should judge you. Your burn is your burn and if anyone tells you otherwise then they "just don't get it".

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:02 pm

Tamino wrote:Wow what a topic. To get back to the original post, there were two gay camps where you could get it on guy on guy. Comfort and Joy has a tent named Afterglow and its basically a circus tent with mattresses, blankets, pillows, condoms, lube, water (for those who are dehydrated) and hand sanitizer. You can cruise and play at your leisure. The other camp was the Down Low Club right down the street from C&J. It was just a big army tent with a bathhouse feel to it. glory holes, a sling, mattresses, condoms and more hand sanitizer. Very dark and seedy. The Moonbow camp originally hosted it in 2009 because Stiffy Lube was not going to be there (it was just, not advertised.) Oh and don't forget the Teabagger's ball. They were at full serve/self serve in 2009. Can't remember where it was in 2010.

As far as coming out... That is a personal decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. Accepting that you are gay or bi has nothing to do with who or where you have sex and whether or not you decide to be a slut or not. There are plenty of guys who are gay and don't f%$k around and there are others who are nasty pigs. And not to mention the vast range of people in between the extremes.

What you want to do at Burning Man is your own thing. Nobody should judge you. Your burn is your burn and if anyone tells you otherwise then they "just don't get it".

I agree wholeheartedly....but this is an open forum to burners and non burners. What you do at burning man stays at burning man. What you do on the internet will haunt you forever.fortunately for me, I don't give a shit. I think the sex aspect of BM should be kept illusive. Just my opinion.

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:42 pm

Thankfully, the theme camp application process pretty much weeds out unoriginal sin.

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:45 am

graidawg wrote:i'm really confused now i always wondered why it was gay and lesbian. i thought gay was a polite or in vogue term for same sex preference. Now theres all these other terms being bandied around and im very confused.
straight still means straight yea?

Always forward, never straight LOL that's what the gays and lesbians at work say

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:55 am

MCPajammaPants wrote:
curiousgnate wrote:How about a glory hole for trolls where a fleshlight is used and right when they are about to cum they are stopped. a giant bright light goes on and camera flashes happen all around them.
Careful, I can be a little tricky knowing when some one is going to come with a fleshlight, for some folks it don't take much at all, a few years back there was a art piece with holes cut for you to stick your "heads" through & have your portrait taken. Me & my partner were behind it, "fluffing" me for a photo. When some fully erect guy appeared out of nowhere (probably hiding nearby some where just waiting for a op), stuck his cock through the hole. I heard some random passer-by on the other side remark "Wow is that a real cock?" apparently curiosity got the better of them & they had to investigate. "Oh . . . yep that's a real cock" All it took was an instant of touch from some random dude to get this guy off, & he shot his load all over the playa.

Creepiest moop ever. (except possibly that time I found a turd on the playa, did you know playa & sunlight will turn your poo totally black?)

theCryptofishist wrote:I think the TMI bar just got raised a couple of notches...

Well, it was bound to pop up sooner or later

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Sat Apr 02, 2011 9:03 am

Trishntek wrote:Who are you when you are all alone? That's the real you.

A Loner?

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Sat Apr 02, 2011 9:23 pm

Eric wrote:
Wow! I love Orthodox iconography, and have been wanting to take a class on them since I was a kid (I threatened to convert & join a monastery at one point in my teens, mainly so I could learn this). I discovered a class offered in SF, it's on my "to do" list when I get employed & can have fun again.

PM me, OK? bb

Zachwilliams · Post by **Zachwilliams** » Mon Apr 04, 2011 8:58 pm

Wow, now could we have gotten any farther from the subject? Guess I'll just go to a rave and explore my heterosexuality in 2011. Thanks for all your constructive comments!

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Mon Apr 04, 2011 9:16 pm

Zachwilliams wrote:Wow, now could we have gotten any farther from the subject? Guess I'll just go to a rave and explore my heterosexuality in 2011. Thanks for all your constructive comments!

Maybe its just me, but you seem really concerned about your hetero status. And, looking for gay glory holes? Makes one wonder.

Zachwilliams · Post by **Zachwilliams** » Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:40 am

Ass-u-me what you will, hetero, bi or gay. Wondering or judging gets you biased opinions, asking questions gets you answers.

delle · Post by **delle** » Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:58 am

What a fascinating thread to wander into todayâ€¦.

One thing Iâ€™ve found in my life is that certain things ring true to me at first mention, and I tend to adopt them as unflappable, non-negotiable realities for myself. One of those things was the Kinsey Report, purporting that the vast majority of people will naturally have at the very least a curiosity for sex outside of the heterosexual â€œnormâ€

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Tue Apr 05, 2011 9:11 am

YET.

Your

Elligible

Too

!!!

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Tue Apr 05, 2011 11:17 am

[quote="delle"]What a fascinating thread to wander into todayâ€¦.

One thing Iâ€™ve found in my life is that certain things ring true to me at first mention, and I tend to adopt them as unflappable, non-negotiable realities for myself. One of those things was the Kinsey Report, purporting that the vast majority of people will naturally have at the very least a curiosity for sex outside of the heterosexual â€œnormâ€

Post by **Eric** » Tue Apr 05, 2011 11:34 am

[quote="graidawg"][quote="delle"]What a fascinating thread to wander into todayâ€¦.

One thing Iâ€™ve found in my life is that certain things ring true to me at first mention, and I tend to adopt them as unflappable, non-negotiable realities for myself. One of those things was the Kinsey Report, purporting that the vast majority of people will naturally have at the very least a curiosity for sex outside of the heterosexual â€œnormâ€

Gay Gloryhole Theme Camp for "Straight" men

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