Barbie Death Village 2012: More Decadence, Less Tolerance

[Elorrum]

Edited to add: my poor mother, after endless explanations of all this gear I was assembling in her back yard, decided Burning Man is an Arts Conference with a Camping Theme.

I wish more people thought this.

[theCryptofishist]

Maybe we should make some Xtranormal Videos explaining that...

[Drawingablank]

Anything danceable will do, really; remember we're selecting music for a truck with huge plastic boobs.

shit, another new sig line.
how the hell can I actually explain to my relatives what I do every summer?

I told my mom that ken and i drop acid and partner swap. She didn't think I was funny.

If I told my mom something like that, I would then have to explain what acid is... Then she would think I wasn't funny.

I actually showed mom some youtube vids of the burn - her only response was: "Why on earth would you want to go there, there are people walking around naked."

[Drawingablank]

Edited to add: my poor mother, after endless explanations of all this gear I was assembling in her back yard, decided Burning Man is an Arts Conference with a Camping Theme. "Barbie Death Camp and Wine Bistro," very civilized and Parisian, right?

That is just too funny.

Bring her a Playa Barbie, complete with monster fur merkin, extensive tattoos, half her head shaved with the other half neon purple hair and dont forget a pair of big ass boots. Or just one that has undergone ritual mutilation and crucifiction.

[tattoogoddess]

PLEASE lets bring some "rock" to the playa. We need to even out the dub-step ratio!
My Darkest Day- Porn Star Dancing


Boobs- ( get spotify and type in Boobs in the search thingy. TONS of boob songs!)
Anything off the Album Boobs,Butts,Beer and Sluts by the Trailer Trash Tremblers would be a winner!

99 Words for boobs (99 loof balloons) By Robert Lung
Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
Jell-o molds and high-beam lights
Every day I probably use
99 words for boobs

Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys
Double lattes, Ode to Joys
Hooters, shooters, physics tutors
Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters
Double-WMD's
MRE's and PFD's
Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes
99 words for boobs

Gerber servers, holy grails
Whoopee cushions, humpback whales
Flying saucers, traffic stoppers
Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers
Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos
Soft-serve cones and armadillos
Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes
99 words for boobs

Midget earmuffs, warming globes
Strobes and probes and frontal lobes
Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers
Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers
Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs
Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs
Jogging partners, saline noobs
99 words for boobs

Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Rutabagas, Chi Omegas
Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas
Congo bongos, bowling pins
Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins
Your claims I'm breast-obsessed are true
We're quite a pair 'cause I'm a boob too

[tattoogoddess]

THIS SONG IS AMAZING!!- Phyrostick- Because Boobs-
oman: Umm, Excuse me but my eyes are up here.
Rob: Yeah, but your boobs are down there.

Boobs should always be in my face.
So bring them over to my place.
Guys know what it's all about.
Victoria, your secret's out.

All bras do is get in the way.
So let your puppies out to play.
Squish them boobs all up on me.
Hell Yeah

Happy and bouncy and jiggly and wiggly.
Round and pound, just leave me all giggly.
A couple of supple and simple delights can.
bring out the smile in every straight man.
(And some chicks too.)

Now I want you to reveal what you conceal.
Lose the bra so that I can cop a feel.
Glory to boobs, fleshy mountains of high.
they're so wonderful they make me want to cry.

I want to grab them, I want to shake em, I want to nom em, because boobs.
I want to squeeze em, I want to slap em, I want to punch em, because boobs.
because boobs, because boobs.

Boobidy boobidy boobs go bouncy when you dance.
worthy of a second glance.
shimmy them ladies to and fro.
my happiness begins to grow.

If I had a room full of boobs.
that would be my favorite room.
If you think your boobs just get in the way.
You are wrong, boobs are great.

Men with boobs I do not like.
Put on a shirt and take a hike.
Chicks with boobs are really cool.
Especially when they're in a pool.

A's B's C's are all ok.
As long as they never go away.
Consensual sex is alright with me.
I really like your boobs.

Happy and bouncy and jiggly and wiggly.
Round and pound, just leave me all giggly.
A couple of supple and simple delights can.
bring out the smile in every straight man.
(Unless you're a hermaphrodite).

Now I want you to reveal what you conceal.
Lose the bra so that I can cop a feel.
Thy boobs be done.
Cuz they're fun bags of fun.
Them golden boobs are shining brightly like the sun.

I want to grab them, I want to shake em, I want to nom nom, because boobs.
I want to squeeze em, I want to slap em, I want to punch em, because boobs.
because boobs,

because boobs, because, because, because.
boob boob boob boob boob boobity boob boob boob.
boob boob boob boob boob boobity boob boob boob.

Now we all know where this song's about to go.
Start your engines cuz it's time to motorboat.
(Motorboating the rhythm).

Don't be a jerk, don't you dare put them away.
If you did then I wouldn't see your boobs.

Aww... Come on! Bring them back... Boobs...
YEAH! THERE'S YOUR BOOBS! THERE THEY ARE! HELL YEAH!

[Drawingablank]

[youtube][/youtube]

[tattoogoddess]

I doubt we would play this at all but this is for all my perv friends here. Enjoy
I love this man. His stuff is so wrong but so funny.

[youtube][/youtube]

[Drawingablank]

[youtube][/youtube]

[Huck]

Tunes for the Truck:

LMFAO, by which I mean: "Sorry for Party Rockin," "Shots," "Sexy and I Know It," etc etc

"Rolex Sweep," by Skepta

And do not forget the latest Sparkle Pony Anthem/post-apocalyptic remake of "I'm a Barbie Girl":

"We R Who We R" by Ke$ha

Wow, you seem to have found my daughter's ipod, thank you, we have been looking all over that!

[tattoogoddess]

HA HA HA HA!!!!

[theCryptofishist]

A year ago, those posts would have been elsewhere...

[International Incident]

My iPod will not carry such nonsense as LMAO or whatever they are called. That's not music it's an abomination.

[graidawg]

leta us pause for a moment and think of the boobie bar.....hehe i said boobie

[MyDearFriend]

My iPod will not carry such nonsense as LMAO or whatever they are called. That's not music it's an abomination.

Hey wait, that stuff is right up there with Weird Al and his accordion, only easier to dance to.

Right up there with Flight of the Conchords, but easier to dance to.

Reaching earnestly toward Doctor Demento, and falling short, but: easier to dance to.

RedFoo is laughing all the way to the bank. He makes me laugh too. And dance...

~~~wiggle~wiggle~wiggle~wiggle~wiggle~~~ UHHH



Huck my dear, I did not find your daughter's ipod, sorry just all the folks who've been stealing her baby-sitting money...

[Drawingablank]

[youtube][/youtube]

[tattoogoddess]

Not to thread drift but damn!
Anyone know where I can score a bunch of heads? This would be AMAZING!!

[International Incident]

Not to thread drift but damn!
Anyone know where I can score a bunch of heads? This would be AMAZING!!

That's rather disturbing. I am a little freaked out right now.

[theCryptofishist]

Thrift stores, garage sales, ebay lots...
edited to add: freecycle, craigslist

[Drawingablank]

Yes, that is disturbing - those are not genuine barbie heads and what kind of barbiebarian would settle for mutilating imitations!

[tattoogoddess]

Really????!!! I think it is pretty!

[Stephendragonfly]

It is only a smidgen disturbing, not enough. The hair should be wet and red. With real barbiedoll heads (and maybe the occasional Santa Claus head in for extra twistyness). It could be called the Lady Godiva Von Guillotine wig...

[International Incident]

It could be called the Lady Godiva Von Guillotine wig...

You are a witty man. But now I shall be think of decapitation and blood all afternoon. Not happy about that

[ygmir]

It could be called the Lady Godiva Von Guillotine wig...

You are a witty man. But now I shall be think of decapitation and blood all afternoon. Not happy about that

well, they do go together.......

[Fufa]

alibaba has tons of those doll heads, if you like minimum orders of 2000 heads, probably contaminated with all sorts of weird chemicals. $0.10 to $1.00 a head though! Can't beat a price like that.

[Savannah]

Not to thread drift but damn!
Anyone know where I can score a bunch of heads? This would be AMAZING!!

I agree. I imagine it worn with a judge's robe (gauzy, white or red, to set off the doll heads) at a very strange court indeed . . .

[MyDearFriend]

I imagine those heads would be even more haunting when covered in dust.

But, might be better to get just a few dozen and knot them together as a bandolier or bikini-top, because, damn that hair would catch on everything.

[Huck]

I imagine those heads would be even more haunting when covered in dust.

But, might be better to get just a few dozen and knot them together as a bandolier or bikini-top, because, damn that hair would catch on everything.

a Bandolier would be incredible! maybe a matching loin cloth?

[Lassen Forge]

For some strange reason, I rather kinda like that. (and now I know where Marie's head went...)

[Ugly Dougly]

Not to thread drift but damn!
Anyone know where I can score a bunch of heads? This would be AMAZING!!

....

Don't they have any head shops near you?

Try Michael's or some other Farts and Crafts store.