Safe Gifting

Materials and expertise...whether you need them or have them to share, you can let folks know here.
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Safe Gifting

Post by AntiM » Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:32 am

Here on the eplaya, we are an extension of the playa, and Share Resources is our gifting forum.
No sales are allowed, nor rentals, nor links to your etsy page or craigslist sale. Telling about your friend's RV for sale is not allowed.
Pointing out a good sale or commercial site (not your own or one you shill for) is allowed.
Informal rideshares are allowed here, although posting a specific list of prices is not preferred. Those details should be handled privately.

This is the internet, and all participants here must be as cautious as they would be on any other online forum. Just as we have sticky threads in the ticket forum on how to purchase a ticket safely from third party sources, we also have put up this thread as a reminder that caution is a part of any transaction. This is a burner community, yet from the amount of spammers who must be deleted, there are many non-burners and those who would take advantage lurking here on our board.

So, what is Safe Gifting?

If you are offering a gift on the eplaya, be specific on the terms you would like to pursue in relation to the pick up of the gift, such as "local only".
If the gift is to be shipped, be specific about who pays the cost of that, and whether payment for shipping should be made before or after, and in what form.
This is the tricky part, if the shipping is expensive, do you want to get stuck with it if the other party does not follow through?
Specify how long you will hold the item if the other party cannot pick it up in a timely fashion. Who pays for storage if the pick up is delayed? When is it time to give it to another recipient who can follow through?

If there is to be an exchange of personal contact information, use the usual caution you would when handing over your name, address, email address or phone number to a complete stranger. We do have a useful Private Messaging feature here on eplaya. Do not post your complete email address or phone number, as it will be up here forever. This is a public forum, open to the world.

If you specify "Pick up on playa": can they find your camp? How will you deal with a spare bike or playa coat if the other party never shows?
Do you expect the item to be returned to you? If so when? What arrangements will be made if they can't get it back to you?

If you see a gift being offered, and it is just what you need, be a gracious recipient.
Pick it up promptly, offer to pay for shippng and negotiate payment before you expect the item to be shipped.
If you know you can't pick it up and the giver wants a quick local pick up, then perhaps it is not the gift for you.
If you can't afford to ship the item, perhaps it is not the gift for you.

On the eplaya, you will often see offers of "Hey, I can bring a bike for you" or "I have room in my truck" and so on. When entering such an arrangement, understad plans fall through and you may end up without a resource you were counting on. It happens. If you make an offer of goods or services, do your best to follow through, and if you cannot, do your best to let the other person know in advance so they can make other arrangements.
If someone makes such an offer, ask whether you must supply expenses such as gas money.

If someone asks you to do something you consider illegal or inadvisable, you should refuse. You should also contact a moderator if it is posted on the forums, so we can look at the request, confer with admin, and decide if it remains or is removed.
"Register a car for me" is one from the past which was removed.

If someone asks you for a gift out of the blue, it is up to you to help them or not. It is okay to ask them for references if money is exchanging hands and you feel unsure.

If you feel uneasy about a gift transaction at any time, it is okay to back out.
If somone is demanding a gift from you, it is okay not to give it to them.

Stay safe and enjoy gifting!

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Re: Safe Gifting

Post by jcoffy » Thu Feb 09, 2012 11:09 pm

Great topic. Gifting is very important to me. And this was clear and well thought out. I really like the line about backing out at any time! Great.

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Re: Safe Gifting

Post by dragonpilot » Mon Jun 18, 2012 1:13 pm

And I get a bit miffed at folks strolling into one of the many neighborhood taverns that dot the encampment...and demand a drink! C'mon a little class. Walk in, chat it up, get to know the barkeeps, offer something of your own, smile, and wait to be served...
Don't bore your friends with all your troubles. Tell your enemies instead, for they will delight in hearing about them.

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Re: Safe Gifting

Post by jcoffy » Mon Jun 18, 2012 4:04 pm

TOTALLY! Gifting is about the experience shared between 2 (or more) parties. Not just gimme gimme gimme. But sometimes you cant control that....and offer your gift anyway. The best gifts though, I agree, come from meeting people and sharing time. Great point man!

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Re: Safe Gifting

Post by SachiIvy » Thu Aug 02, 2012 3:48 pm

One of the things that really bugs me on-playa are the folks who seem to think that "gifting" means they can have whatever they want, when they want it! I had a woman try to take my parasol - which I was USING at the time - and insisted that I should gift it to her! Another time, a guy tried to get me to give him my pink and purple vinyl pants. Seriously? His request was phrased "I love your pants! You should give them to me!" Uh, no, sorry.

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Re: Safe Gifting

Post by Savannah » Thu Aug 02, 2012 3:59 pm

Wow, that's outrageous!

I'm relieved to say that I have never run across such brazen gimme-gimme out there . . . then again, I don't run a bar or theme camp. :)

But one does hear the stories of people who "misunderstand" what gifting is about, and just assume they can wander into a camp and rifle through a cooler or something.
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