The Lazy Eplayan's Guide To Fertility 2.0

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:25 am

Make sperm out of q-tips.
Draw eggs on your golf cart.
Carry a tape loop about teeming millions of cod.

There must be other ideas that take a moment's thought and five minutes execution.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Fri Dec 23, 2011 10:24 am

fill your spray bottle with half and half.

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Fri Dec 23, 2011 3:18 pm

Fill a baby bottle with white russians?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Dec 23, 2011 5:28 pm

Nice. Of course, you could always find some John Bircher Burners and fill your bottle with Red Russians and leave it under their bed. But that's a little too involved...

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Fri Dec 23, 2011 5:48 pm

smoke generator that puffs out sperm shaped smoke.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:20 pm

i was thinking about going around with a fine sewing needle and poking holes in all the condoms i find, very neatly of course, so as to avoid detection of any tampering.

it's kinda like catholic terrorism, or what mormons do instead of bashing mailboxes.

its my gift to the playa.

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:34 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:i was thinking about going around with a fine sewing needle and poking holes in all the condoms i find, very neatly of course, so as to avoid detection of any tampering.

it's kinda like catholic terrorism, or what mormons do instead of bashing mailboxes.

its my gift to the playa.

Simon, you are a true asshole and my hero of the Eplaya

shykat · Post by **shykat** » Sat Dec 24, 2011 9:12 am

Shove a pillow under your shirt and sit in camp and demand for spicey food to eat,and then complain about everything.....

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Sun Dec 25, 2011 2:21 am

shykat wrote:Shove a pillow under your shirt and sit in camp and demand for spicey food to eat,and then complain about everything.....

My Idea is To dress like Cindy Lauper.
[youtube][/youtube]

With the disco ball Belly!
HAWT!

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Dec 25, 2011 11:42 am

http://www.illuminatiorder.info/isis-d.htm

BetaBox · Post by **BetaBox** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 12:24 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:http://www.illuminatiorder.info/isis-d.htm

my eyes are forever burned after trying to read the text in the middle of this page... http://www.illuminatiorder.info/smaragdina23.htm

VultureChow · Post by **VultureChow** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 2:23 pm

Fill birth control pill cases with tic tacs or pez.

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:15 pm

I figure after seeing this ad Durexx is a progressive company.
So I called the 1-800 number on the back, and asked them if they could make me a take a number condom dispenser. I was offering them a chance to sponsor me. Tattoo space and all.
Did they? Nooooooooo!
They said that thay ar'nt that kinda company...
WTF?

VultureChow · Post by **VultureChow** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:51 pm

knowmad wrote:I figure after seeing this ad Durexx is a progressive company.
So I called the 1-800 number on the back, and asked them if they could make me a take a number condom dispenser. I was offering them a chance to sponsor me. Tattoo space and all.
Did they? Nooooooooo!
They said that thay ar'nt that kinda company...
WTF?

Hah.

Since it is Fertility 2.0 we could rig up one of these with condoms in the eggs.

I used to love them as a kid.

illy dilly · Post by **illy dilly** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 4:56 pm

Our first year we camped with a camp called Baby Batter Camp
They served a shot called a Baby Batter. It was Irish Cream like Baily's and Peppermint Schnapps if memory serves me correctly.
They were very very tasty!

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 5:10 pm

VultureChow!!
That is an excellent Idea! Rumor has it that another e-plyan likes running around with condoms and needles.. no good..
I like this!
Is it for real? do you want/need help?
PM Me.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 8:47 pm

knowmad wrote:VultureChow!!
That is an excellent Idea! Rumor has it that another e-plyan likes running around poking condoms with needles.. no good..
I like this!
Is it for real? do you want/need help?
PM Me.

the pope said i could.

Simon of the Playa wrote:

VultureChow · Post by **VultureChow** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 9:00 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:
knowmad wrote:VultureChow!!
That is an excellent Idea! Rumor has it that another e-plyan likes running around poking condoms with needles.. no good..
I like this!
Is it for real? do you want/need help?
PM Me.

the pope said i could.

Simon of the Playa wrote:

I knew it!

I knew the pope was a burner. Just look at his shoes:

VultureChow · Post by **VultureChow** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 6:55 am

knowmad wrote:VultureChow!!
That is an excellent Idea! Rumor has it that another e-plyan likes running around with condoms and needles.. no good..
I like this!
Is it for real? do you want/need help?
PM Me.

I sent you a pm, but the long and short of it is, I can handle everything except the power. (it turns out there's a machine for sale at a good price near me)

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:01 am

VultureChow wrote:
knowmad wrote:VultureChow!!
That is an excellent Idea! Rumor has it that another e-plyan likes running around with condoms and needles.. no good..
I like this!
Is it for real? do you want/need help?
PM Me.

I sent you a pm, but the long and short of it is, I can handle everything except the power. (it turns out there's a machine for sale at a good price near me)

I happen to love that chicken. Please tell me that a chicken will be involved.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:01 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:
knowmad wrote:VultureChow!!
That is an excellent Idea! Rumor has it that another e-plyan likes running around poking condoms with needles.. no good..
I like this!
Is it for real? do you want/need help?
PM Me.

the pope said i could.

Simon of the Playa wrote:

And we all know you are a slave to the Vatican. Papist!

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:42 am

theCryptofishist wrote:
VultureChow wrote:
knowmad wrote:VultureChow!!
That is an excellent Idea! Rumor has it that another e-plyan likes running around with condoms and needles.. no good..
I like this!
Is it for real? do you want/need help?
PM Me.

I sent you a pm, but the long and short of it is, I can handle everything except the power. (it turns out there's a machine for sale at a good price near me)
I happen to love that chicken. Please tell me that a chicken will be involved.

I Concur The Chicken Must stay.
A Cocks coqs!

VultureChow · Post by **VultureChow** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:44 am

theCryptofishist wrote: I happen to love that chicken. Please tell me that a chicken will be involved.

I'm trying to calm myself, but I'm having major nostalgia cravings right now. I loved that machine growing up, and I could get one right now. I'm almost to the point of getting it just to have even if I can't get it out to the playa.

This is the one for sale:

[youtube][/youtube]

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:01 am

I like the fact that after you watch that video they offer up a sea turtle laying eggs as a choice on youtube. A little unclear on the concept, there.
The sound was a little muddy. Were the vocalizations a cackle or a crow? (Maybe you could hook it up to one of those children's toys that has a string and various pictures and makes noises to go with each animal...)

VultureChow · Post by **VultureChow** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:05 am

theCryptofishist wrote:I like the fact that after you watch that video they offer up a sea turtle laying eggs as a choice on youtube. A little unclear on the concept, there.
The sound was a little muddy. Were the vocalizations a cackle or a crow? (Maybe you could hook it up to one of those children's toys that has a string and various pictures and makes noises to go with each animal...)

It's a bawk bawk clucking sound.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 3:09 pm

Good. Although the rooster would have had soem sort of backwards, genderfcuk charm.

forty_eight · Post by **forty_eight** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:32 pm

Offer Jergens moisturizer as a gift on the playa ... from a turkey baster. Fertility 2.0, voila!

Rabbette · Post by **Rabbette** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 4:01 pm

48_love wrote:Offer Jergens moisturizer as a gift on the playa ... from a turkey baster. Fertility 2.0, voila!

bahahahaha - eeeeew.

zer0mass · Post by **zer0mass** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:59 pm

Can I just skip the whole fertility thing and bring a box or two of condoms?

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 7:19 pm

I've given up on Fertility. Someone in one of the dreaded ticket threads said that we should all get lotto ball costumes. My crazy brain took off with that one, but I turned it into BIG LIGHT UP LOTTO BALLS on sticks. Kinda like the jellyfish from last year.

The Lazy Eplayan's Guide To Fertility 2.0

The Lazy Eplayan's Guide To Fertility 2.0

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