PRE Playa Depression?

[Ugly Dougly]

Or am I outflanked?

Would you like to be outflanked? I can arrange it if you like.

[ygmir]

Or am I outflanked?

Would you like to be outflanked? I can arrange it if you like.

"flanked" or "flaked"?

[theCryptofishist]

Or am I outflanked?

Would you like to be outflanked? I can arrange it if you like. ;)

"flanked" or "flaked"?

Excuse me! Fishes don't get dandruff!

[Ugly Dougly]

No, she distinctly asked us to "outflank" her.
I think that Ygmir and I could arrange it for you.
Yg, I will send you a diagram.

[ygmir]

yes, Dougly, please explain.....I'm sort of slow......

now, to discuss the difference between dandruff and myxosporidiosis.......

[Victorian]

Thank you everyone for the posts.

I guess I just get a little stressed being in a smaller town, where no one seems to feel the passion I do.

I've stressed this issue a few times on eplaya already, and I truly do thank all of you that listen to me ramble on and on. It is quite selfish, but if it wasn't for you guys, I wouldn't be going this year, nor would I be able to keep my sanity while I wait for August.

We're working on it, ever day. He is trying to be supportive, and we're doing ok ... it just gets difficult.

I've since met another birgin joining our camp this year, he only lives about 3 hours from me... he's my godsend (thank you RJ!) and honestly.. again... sorry to be a pain in the rear.

[motskyroonmatick]

Whatever Victorian!!

It is obvious you have lots of friends here. Friends can be pains in the ass to each other but I really don't think you have come even near that point. You are not wearing out your welcome so keep on doing what you do cause we the silent majority like it. ( I was previously a member of the silent majority but this post just messed all that up.)

No worries!

[Elorrum]

Victorian, I love your enthusiasm. Please remember that this is about having fun and enjoying all of it, getting ready, planning, being there. Imagine yourself smiling 'till your face hurts. Somebody will say something or do something, or something will zoom by, and your day will just open up like all the walls fell off and even though you thought you were already outside in the open air, somehow the walls of that fall off and now you are outside for real. You might be able to do that for somebody, give them a lemonade, or just walk by in your rocking pink fluffy and say hello sailor. It sounds like you have most of what you need already. The rest is creativity, and embellishment, stress free (try.) Stay the course, have a good spring and summer. Have fun between now and then. See you in August.

[LeChatNoir]

Oh, listen… if these people can handle me blabbing on for days on end, you don’t even come close to talking too much for them. In fact, you’ve dived right in and are really participating, I think. I'd bet you’re gong to have a great first year.

[Victorian]

You guys are reason numbers 284,495,847 - 284,495,848 - and 284,495,849 that I'm going to BM this year.

Thanks

[ygmir]

hey, you guys quit posting so much......jeeze.........

[gerlachedNloaded]

keep it up Vic! tick tock

[theCryptofishist]

Oh, listen… if these people can handle me blabbing on for days on end, you don’t even come close to talking too much for them. In fact, you’ve dived right in and are really participating, I think. I'd bet you’re gong to have a great first year.

I'm just in it for the furry, purry hugs and that beer aged in bourbon casks.

[Shoeshine]

Take this with a grain of salt, but I thought I'd throw it out there, because your post seemed really earnest and I empathized.

I am going for the first time this year as well. My wife (of 10 years) is decidedly MEH. Not about me going, but about how cool/fantastic/amazing I think this will be.

She is putting up with my enthusiasm. But that is honestly all I can expect. This is not her thing. It's mine.

she has a very different way of getting excited about the world. (for her [may not apply to said boyfriend] it involves long standing relationships like family, long term friends, and connection to the places that we love. new is not necessarily good, just something to try and see if it works)

I am hoping after I go once, I can start (I emphasize -start-) to let her in on how she might really get into it. In the long term I think she might really enjoy the culture and festival that goes along with it. It fits well with our outlook on life.

This is where I chime in with the rest of the old farts (I'm 40)

What I do know is that she is a good person and good for me. This has taken a while to know for certain. That's what is meaningful. Does she share all of my passions? no. Do we love all the same things? of course not. Could this be the beginning of me going off to do my thing for a week a year? very possibly. Could this SLOWLY become something we share? also possible.

Your relationship is yours and yours only. But I would tend, offhand, to advise against making this a make or break issue.

Enjoy your excitement. Realize it is not his. GO.

Then, figure things out from there.

Good Luck

[kingtom]

Sometimes the overwhelming desire to share an adventure with someone destroys the intention and in turn collapses any long term trust built in the relationship.A little out of the comfort zone is good , but Burning Man might be a bit much.

[Minxy]

Hey Victorian :)

You are not alone, feeling like an island in a land of non-believers. :D

Trust me on this...if I even start to say the word Bur... around many of my family/friends they cover their ears and shriek, "NO BURNING MAN TALK!!!!"

HA! :D

Not everyone catches the fever. For those of us who do, it's an all-consuming obsessive passion. Forgive the ignorant masses, they know not what they are missing!

One of my over-the-top religious friends always looks intensely worried when I mention the "B-man place." She swears that she heard on religious radio that they raise demons out there and worship the devil. Sigh... I've never seen it. I always miss the good stuff. =/ ;)

[masho]

...... and that beer aged in bourbon casks.

Ok, you got my attention now

[gidget]

One of my campmates has to say she's going to "France" instead of "Burning Man" around her coworkers cuz they're so sick of hearing her talk about it.... this resulted in us celebrating "France Day" last year, we drank wine, wore berets, ate french toast, and sneered at people... until a neighbor who was actually French showed up and we tried to explain and she didn't get it and then we felt dumb.

Anyway, Victorian, don't know if you're still with the BF now, it's been more than 6 months I gather... but still a short time in terms of a life. If you break up, you break up. You move on, you do things, you meet people, you live, you love. The universe always has a plan and life goes on whether you want it to or not. My first year I went under protest, just to keep an eye on my then boyfriend. Had all kinds of misconceptions about BM.... That was 8 years ago, I've gone every year since of my own free will. Now he's my husband and I can guarantee that if I hadn't gone then I would not have ended up marrying him. And our campmates (most also of 8+ years) were our wedding party. Kind of the opposite of your situation, but I hope you get my meaning...

Hope you are still planning on attending and I hope your bike is spectacular with or without his help!

[babysnakes]

My bf is also different from me in many ways: Not into electronic music or the scene that surrounds it, far far from a hippy, less into partying in general than I am. I still really want him to go someday because the design/art/technical aspects of it I think he would really really dig. And the total freedom aspect as well.

But he's had school starting the same week of burning man for the past 3 years and that's where his priorities are. He gets annoyed a little when I'm obsessing about burning man, but then I remind him of those times we sit in the garage and just stare at his motorcycles and we're even ;-)

Sighh...

I would LOVE to have him there because I really missed him last year at points and because I see couples there and it seems like an amazing beautiful thing to share. But then again, I wonder if maybe it wouldn't be all I imagined, having him there. Maybe he wouldn't like it and I'd be worried about him the whole time. Friends you can say- k, we're on a different wave length tonight so maybe see you back at camp tomorrow. Significant others, it might be problematic to say that most nights out there.

SO I guess my point is this: If it's meant to be it will happen. I would love to have my bf with me, but I think it's OK and maybe even for the best that he can't come. I spend a lot of my time with him, doing things we both love. I think it's okay for someone in a relationship to have something that is wholly there own. Or something they do that bonds them to friends, that the SO is not a part of.

Victorian my guess is a. He doesn't get it. b. He's a little jealous you're focused on it and he's not a part of it. and c. He sees you being stressed about it and unloading some of that stress on him and its aggravating because of a and b.

So my advice: you shouldn't have to refrain from talking about it or hide your excitement, but try not to share the stress/burden part of it with him. That's something you have to take on on your own since you're doing this independently.

[peachandpapa]

Victorian... Go and take a ton of pictures of yourself on the Playa... Show him the pictures when you return.... He'll feel like an idiot and will be accompanying next year...if he's lucky!