Help! Any Brain Surgeons at BM? Thank you

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nocturnal_steve
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Help! Any Brain Surgeons at BM? Thank you

Post by nocturnal_steve » Sun Aug 19, 2007 10:42 pm

I know I am pushing it.. But i just found out I may need a lobotomy , and I am leaving in a week to BM. Any brain surgeons that can help or even first year medical students, nurse's aids or vets ? Thank you and god bless.
Stay hydrated my friend.
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Ebenezer Squeezer
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Re: Help! Any Brain Surgeons at BM? Thank you

Post by Ebenezer Squeezer » Sun Aug 19, 2007 11:14 pm

I'm a practicing Proctologist (specializing in the pelvic floor), but I'm sure I can help you out. Lobotomies are taught in the sophomore year of medical school, so it's just a matter of consulting my old texts.

You will need to bring some tools though. How thick is your skull? If very thick, a 5/8" drill is required. If you have a thin skull, 1/2" is sufficient. Also bring a 3/4" drill bit, a fifth of Everclear to sanitize the instruments (190 proof, not the wimpy 151), and lemonade for mixer, er... I mean for the playa foot I may acquire during the lengthy operation. Better make that two fifths of Everclear, just in case conditions are particularly dirty. Some thread would also be nice to sew things up, but duct tape will do in a pinch.

I'll also be performing vasectomies all week for anyone interested.
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robotland
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Post by robotland » Mon Aug 20, 2007 4:14 am

PLEASE do NOT drill skulls on the playa unless you plan to collect the bone chips and gore- This IS a Leave No Trace event. I suggest the prefrontal option, going up under the eyelid. Use 3/8" rebar ONLY, unless you have unusually large ocular cavities.
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theCryptofishist
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Post by theCryptofishist » Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:55 am

You might try Brain Surgery Camp (they split from Frankencamp last year) at 4:30 and Ether.
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misfit
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Post by misfit » Mon Aug 20, 2007 10:21 am

whats the problem steve, maybe i can help.?...
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Jiva
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Post by Jiva » Thu Aug 23, 2007 2:07 pm

Robotland, the moop shouldn't be a problem if the Hfuhruhurr procedure is used. The Medical Continuing Education video I watched on the subject was impressive; there was little to no bleeding. Dr. Hfuhruhurr himself performed the procedure in the video, which had surprisingly high production values, even if it was a bit long for MCE (and most of the video wasn't about the actual surgery, strangely enough).

As for Dr. Squeezer: keep practicing, you'll get it right eventually.
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