Last minute virgin anxiety

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Valkyrie
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Last minute virgin anxiety

Post by Valkyrie » Wed Aug 22, 2007 1:26 pm

So I'm 4 days out from departure. Nerves are getting to me. Crazy drama with friends and my place being completely invaded by ants (yes ANTS those tiny little crawly things - swarms of them in my 3rd floor apartment) seem like trivial asides at this point.

I've already spent too much money getting stuff I think I might need. I'm worried about said stuff taking up too much space. The really rockin' cool costume I've been working on doesn't look like it's going to get finished. I'm afraid the 4 strangers I've brought together to carpool with are going to flake on me (again... it's been a bit of a revolving door). I know I'm going to leave something vital and important at home (no, the ticket is in the wallet). And the greatest fear is that it's not going to be worth all this anxiety in addition to the lost wages (I don't have the vacation time to take off for this.)

Breathe.

So I find myself obsessing over every little detail. Anyone have any (non-'pharmaceutical') advice for this panic?
It's hard to have a normal conversation with someone with 6' acrylic rods strapped to your back.

Don Gately
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Re: Last minute virgin anxiety

Post by Don Gately » Wed Aug 22, 2007 1:59 pm

I was in a similar situation a couple of weeks ago (and posted to eplaya accordingly). We have a lot of ants at my house as well.

Checklists are working well for me. They help you get a concrete idea of what you have and what you need. Checking off items has a profoundly satisfying effect, probably a dopamine rush due to its task-reward nature.

I've assigned different tasks to each day this week. They are getting done, albeit out of order because of resource availability. This makes the work more manageable.

Also, look to your most serious needs first. I got distracted on some very frustrating costume preparation for a good two or three hours before I realized that I should take care of my shade structure. Knowing my priorities and sticking to them has been quite calming.

The ants should go away if you wipe down all your countertops with cleanser, and put away or discard things with sweet sticky stuff on them.

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Valkyrie
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Post by Valkyrie » Wed Aug 22, 2007 2:06 pm

The ants are in the bedroom. (and a little bit in the living room) Don't ask me!

(geez, that sounds like some sort of codephrase.)

I suppose I should have a piece of paper with things to do on it. I've been doing the "list" thing in my head, but halfway through stuff, I forget where I'm going, or some chaos comes up and the plan goes out the window.

Paper does sound good. I had stuff up on a whiteboard, but not in any sort of priority order... Yes, the costume keeps getting bumped, which is a real shame. I'm at work right now and having the same problem, which is an issue since I'm supposed to be doing "research" right now. Ugh.

I have a good number of other costumes that are in some stage of "finishedness". What is the possibility of actually finishing any costume bits after I get there at or around 12:01 Monday morning?
It's hard to have a normal conversation with someone with 6' acrylic rods strapped to your back.

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phil
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Post by phil » Wed Aug 22, 2007 2:11 pm

Find Don's earlier thread on his anxiety attack and also find the thread on nightmares (by skygod, I think). See the advice Don got, then double the dose.

> And the greatest fear is that it's not going to be worth all this
> anxiety in addition to the lost wages

I understand the concern. Take my word: you'll be completely blown away.






One way or another.

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Post by leftbraindp » Wed Aug 22, 2007 2:51 pm

I have ants too! WTF?! :)

Seriously, I think it's the heat or something, and I just had an exterminator out on the 8th.

As far as stress and prep and all that, I've gotten to the point where I've gotten about 1/2 the stuff done I *wanted* to get done, and I'm almost done with everything I *have* to get done. I'm focusing on the excitement of head out, not the panic of forgetting something, knowing that I'm going to be camping with my friends and family, and if I forgot to bring pants (which I have before... no pants... at all), they will have something I can borrow :) (though I'm usually the person who is loaning thier stuff to everyone else ;)

Cheers! and have a safe journey to the playa. Come spin the wheel of fortune at the Rez in the RLD at 4:30 and C when you get settled :)
-------

Gets bored easily...

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Re: Last minute virgin anxiety

Post by lithiium » Wed Aug 22, 2007 2:53 pm

Dont fret, You aren't the only one with this veritable plethora of thoughts going through your mind. Over the past few weeks iv;e found myself in a frantic panic to get things together and finished and yet it seems like nothing is done. A month ago I had no idea I would be going to BM this year, in fact I was quite sure I would not be. I'm not sure if it was the hours of looking through the web at anything everything burning man, the stories from burners I know, or the intense need to get out of this town but whatever it was I decided to go. So... I quit my job and this saturday we leave for the roadtrip of a lifetime. As excited as I am I still find myself asking one question...

Will this be worth it?

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Post by swampdog » Wed Aug 22, 2007 3:00 pm

I'm a worst-possible-case kinda guy. Have you got: Ticket, food, water? You can fake the rest if it comes to that.

Costume not quite done? Can you finish it on the playa? It's not like you have to have all your shit together when you drive thru the gates, there's lots of on playa assemblage and fixage going on.

4 strangers flake out? Can you get there without them? Then so what, come with the ones that can come. They're the ones you want to bring anyway.

There's a lot of false pressure that goes to "getting it right". Forget it. Just get there, it'll be right. Some of the pressure is created intentionally I think to get the message through to people who are not very good at listening, DID YOU HEAR? BRING WATER!! SERIOUSLY! DUDE, DID YOU HEAR ME!? WATER!! You've got to say it again and again for some folks, and people with attention spans can get a little freaked out with all these shouted messages going on.

It'll be fine, really. And you won't regret it, I guarantee.

(these are things I practice saying to myself when I think about the FIVE MILLION THINGS I need to get done myself before I leave)

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Post by Valkyrie » Wed Aug 22, 2007 3:01 pm

Eh. I thought pants were optional anyway, and if you really did need them, they'll shoot them out a cannon at you.

Of course, my knee/ankle decided that now was the time they needed to start swelling again.

I keep telling myself things like "If I get cold at night, I don't need to bring the big Soviet wool officer's coat, I can probably find some more fun way to stay warm" but I think half my problem is I just. don't. stop. coming up with ideas. I don't think my apartment has been this messy... since I've lived there. I know I'm spinning my wheels, but there's just not any way to stop it.

On the upside, it's been a long, LONG time since I've been this excited about anything... like since I was 15 and heading out to Europe.
It's hard to have a normal conversation with someone with 6' acrylic rods strapped to your back.

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Post by Dork » Wed Aug 22, 2007 3:09 pm

Valkyrie wrote:On the upside, it's been a long, LONG time since I've been this excited about anything... like since I was 15 and heading out to Europe.
That's the spirit! I finish maybe 5% of the projects I dream up every year. For me, the fun is in the dreaming and the finished result is a cool bonus. You actually don't NEED very much to survive and have a good time out there. As long as your basic human needs are met (shelter, warmth, food, water) all the rest does is make you more comfortable and colorful. Focus on the basics and spend the rest of the time on a couple of projects you think you can finish and will get good use out of.

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Post by Token » Wed Aug 22, 2007 3:15 pm

Sweetheart, everyones house/apartment looks like a bomb exploded in there. I need to sew some stuff, hot glue this, weld that gizmo, put batteries in that, why the f#*$ did I bring out the leather punch and letter stencils ...

Don't worry about it. It gets a bit better after a few years, but remember that you chose to do this and it IS part of the ride. You can choose to clutch you seat all white knuckled or you can raise your hands into the air and yell: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Don't stress on the details. You are going to a place that has a real fucking community. Reach out and embrace the folks around you and they will hug back.

Breathe in ... Breathe out.

T

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Post by skygod » Wed Aug 22, 2007 3:18 pm

People who are stressed out, anxious, and excited about something--
Are the luckiest people in the world.
Enjoy it!
"It will seem difficult in the beginning. But everything seems difficult in the beginning."- Musashi

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Post by Valkyrie » Wed Aug 22, 2007 3:24 pm

BTW, lithiium I was the same boat as you a month ago - not sure I was going, not having been before, and being injured on top of that. Oh, and starting up a new job that has at least 3.5 hr commute every day. sigh

I tell myself things like "ants won't survive in the desert, you don't need to get them out of everything." Although I am a little worried about the soldiering job I did on my ELwire. I probably have more than I need... but I can't find my batteries.
It's hard to have a normal conversation with someone with 6' acrylic rods strapped to your back.

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Post by Burp! » Wed Aug 22, 2007 4:51 pm

If you forget something, that's what the 40,000 other people are for. Just don;t forget, shelter, water and food. All else can be bartered for, plus you get to meet people.

As to mishaps and such, they happen, but that's just part of the journey

True Story:

I think it was 1999, on the way to the playa, the trailer I was pulling decided that it was too over loaded and it just didn't want to be attached to the axle anymore. So it promptly flipped off the freeway, end over end. A site to see in your rear view mirror. Mind you, our camps art installation, bikes, illegal fireworks and so on were all in there. After pulling off the freeway and running back to the trailer, thinking we need to get all those fireworks picked up before the cops shortly arrive, we find that just about everything stayed in the trailer (I tied that sucker down tight). The only thing lost to us, besides the trailer, was the lava rocks from a little hibachi BBQ. Not that bad of a loss I thought, I mean really of all things that could have happened, lava rocks are small time. The cop shows up within 5 minutes and asks me to go get my registration, on the walk back to the truck, here comes the miracle, I notice this box sitting in the bushes off to side of my truck(some random box on the side of a random freeway), reading the words on the box, they say "Lava rocks". I think "Na uh.." I have to look. Sure enough it's a box of lava rocks, with lava rocks in it, more than I lost. Now if that isn't the Burning Man gods looking out for you then I don't know what is. We were stuck in Stocton for a day, and conveniently enough the local u-haul had a cancellation and we got a trailer that day. Again the Burning Man gods come to help out.

Point is this, there are Burning Man gods!!!! Spooky!

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Post by AntiM » Wed Aug 22, 2007 5:00 pm

I've been told stress is aggravating my asthma. huh, fancy that. I've rolled over and given up. Oh sure, I'll finish my paintings, some more of them, and get the food and clothes packed, mix the trail mix, rebag the frozen berries, get the trinket boxes ready to go, and get the wheelchair for toolmaker spiffed up, recharge the camera batteries, but honestly, I'm sitting around writing fanfiction instead of prepping for burning man. I have everything I need, and most of what I want. It would be nice to get the crystal chandelier done, but that can wait. yes, I'm short on art for the Home, but I always am.

I care, I wouldn't miss it for the world, but I've switched my brain off this year. Feels kinda nice. Is this what burn out feels like?

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Post by jagermonster » Wed Aug 22, 2007 5:10 pm

Just remember, the Playa always provides!

2004 I did something completely retarded, like not bringing ANY water at all. Just completely spaced it off. How can one do that? I was never one to drink much water at burningman, I do pretty well with dehydration but it turned out to be just fine. I had about $1500 in liquor that we used in our portable bar, and people were happy to take care of me. I don't know how it worked out, I just had people randomly offering me water all the time.

2005 I decided to not bring any food at all, and see what would happen. I didnt go there with intentions to bum, barter or the like, and quite ironically it was the BEST i have ever eaten at Burningman in the 7 years ive gone. I never once asked for food from anyone, it was always offered.

Obviously I don't suggest to anyone to try this, my point is it always works out. Don't stress on things, if you forget something, you'll get taken care of in one way or another!

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Post by skygod » Wed Aug 22, 2007 7:31 pm

Burp! wrote: Just don;t forget, shelter, water and food. All else can be bartered for, plus you get to meet people.

As to mishaps and such, they happen, but that's just part of the jouney
Burning Man is Art Imitating Life.

All these personal stories are so completely poignant.
It's like looking into someone's eyes and seeing their soul.

<3 this time of year!
"It will seem difficult in the beginning. But everything seems difficult in the beginning."- Musashi

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Post by Galax » Wed Aug 22, 2007 8:18 pm

No advice, I just want you to know I'm feeling the same way. You're not alone! I know the time will be up before we know it, though.

I'm extra excited now, too, because today in my local CoOp's parking lot, I saw an SUV from Canada packed with camping gear, with two flamboyantly altered bikes and several hula hoops on the back (one of which had little torches coming off of it at regular intervals), and a large leather drum between the two front seats. I was immediately certain that it must belong to burners on their way down to Nevada, since that's not a very common sight around here. Just the thought that people are already on their way got me worked up for my own departure on Sunday! It's not much longer, now!

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Post by DJ Dominus » Wed Aug 22, 2007 8:30 pm

I am completely psyched at the moment. I'm just taking a break from packing. Waiting on laundry. The only thing I need to get done is pack the car up, oil change, stop by the liquor store, 8 hours of work, and then it's off to Chicago to hook up with my crew. Friday we are on the road out. Say it with me AWWWWW YAAHHHH!!!

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Post by lithiium » Wed Aug 22, 2007 8:35 pm

Well its good to know I was not the only one. =] Turns out my tent is on backorder(Fuck Amazon), still have to get a sleeping bag, bike needs el-wire, god when does it stop..

I JUST WANNA BE THERE DAMMIT!

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Post by plowman » Wed Aug 22, 2007 8:37 pm

I know the feeling also. I work for Nevada DOT and I'm out on Intrstate 80 every day. I keep seeing people drive by with BRC bumper stickers,the Man on back windows made of duct tape, buses packed to the gills with bikes strapped on top.
The antisipation is killing me.

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Post by Valkyrie » Wed Aug 22, 2007 9:00 pm

lithiium I just wanted to say I <3 Campmor (on the suggested vendors page). I ask them to ship me stuff via the "slow boat" of USPS ('cause UPS is a PITA about delivery here) and I get whatever I order from them in 3 days or less.

plowman: I live in Berkeley. I started getting that even before people should reasonably be getting ready, I think. Perhaps the first I noticed was someone riding away from a bike store on a "double height" bike. Maybe he's a burner and maybe not. I like to think so. Right now, there are tons of people just driving around town
* in cars painted up in fancy colors
* with bicycles attached to racks on the backs of their cars

Burp! I thought I wasn't supposed to take advice from you. But that story is hilarious! Rocks to you!
It's hard to have a normal conversation with someone with 6' acrylic rods strapped to your back.

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Post by Burp! » Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:52 am

Valkyrie wrote:Burp! I thought I wasn't supposed to take advice from you. But that story is hilarious! Rocks to you!
It just depends on the post, some posts just beg for some snarkyness.

T.

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Post by Angel Ben » Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:30 am

I have the exact same problem where I get overwhelmed with too many ideas. I generally make a list of every project I can realistically accomplish before the burn, then cross off half of them, and that's what I'll work on. I then organize them by priority (ie, how sad I'll be if I don't get it done, and anything that needs to ship out early goes to the top), and everything that didn't make it onto the list goes on to my "next year" list. It makes it much easier to just tell yourself you'll do it next year, so you don't have to say goodbye to the idea.

In actuality, you'll only end up doing a very small portion of the "next year" ideas next year. You'll eventually figure out most of them are either impractical or not that interesting, which is why they didn't make it on to your list this year in the first place.

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Post by Valkyrie » Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:48 am

Of course, with this being my first burn I have no idea what's realistic or not. With only a month, I know I really shouldn't have significant projects, and for the most part I don't... it's that one with the light and the gauze and the 6' rods that I just can't let go of. I was rather close to being able to finish it until I came into a stumbling block that one of the pieces I wanted was either way too expensive or completely unavailable. Of course, as I write this I think of a different way to do it that would be easier...

I am now using it as a reward-type thing. If I get everything else done early, I can come back to it. All I must do is go to the hardware store to pick up rope and bits for the shower and rope, buy groceries and pack everything up. I leave Sunday morning, so I figure I *will* have more time to work on it.

I have discovered that when I attempt to get too much done, I wind up getting nothing done. Maybe I'm just overwhelming myself with all that stuff. I have to keep reminding myself that I don't need to push so hard...
It's hard to have a normal conversation with someone with 6' acrylic rods strapped to your back.

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Post by Angel Ben » Thu Aug 23, 2007 12:01 pm

Abondon any project you haven't started yet, right now. Also abandon any project that has more than an evening's worth of work left. Of any remaining projects, pick two and abandon the rest. You barely have enough time let to pack at this point.

These things are not that important, and likely won't work anyways if you're still altering plans at the last minute. If you don't focus on packing right now, you're likely to forget something far more important, like tent stakes or clean socks.

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Post by Valkyrie » Thu Aug 23, 2007 12:14 pm

Oh, gosh, I'm not starting anything new! Egads! No, mostly it's just pulling stuff out of the closet and asking myself "Hey, you think I can get this done in time? I have a dress that only requires grommets and 1/3 a hem. That can be finished there, assuming I pick up the grommet tool. I have less than a night's work that would be required for the light rod project, at least that must be done at home (not bringing electricity so no soldiering iron.)

I think those are the only 2 unfinished projects I'm even considering at this point. Well, if you don't consider the shower project, which isn't really a project - just pick up plastic, a couple of boards and some rope.

The most disturbing thing is this whole experience is turning me into quite the consumer. I'll be damned if I spend this much time shopping next year.
It's hard to have a normal conversation with someone with 6' acrylic rods strapped to your back.

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Post by Burp! » Thu Aug 23, 2007 1:43 pm

uhmm... you could always finish up some projects at BM. I like having something to do while there. sure there's alot to see and do, but camp time with a project is just as rewarding.

T.

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Post by Valkyrie » Thu Aug 23, 2007 1:55 pm

Yeah. And I do need to take it easy. My knee has started to swell pretty bad lately. I need to remember that I'm not entirely whole again yet. Having a project to do in camp will at least prevent me from getting up and wandering off when I shouldn't.

Speaking of projects and camps... how big a "flag" should I bring for a "sign". I have a twin bedsheet, but I suspect that might be a little big for a little 1-person camp.
It's hard to have a normal conversation with someone with 6' acrylic rods strapped to your back.

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Post by trilobyte » Thu Aug 23, 2007 2:05 pm

You're going to be fine. In fact, I'd suggest it's a perfectly natural response that your body is having as you lead up to such a monumental journey.

Don't worry, you'll probably live. Do the best you can, don't sweat the stuff you can't affect, and in a few days you'll be there.

Cheers!

~Trilo~

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Post by 1devo » Thu Aug 23, 2007 6:06 pm

valkyrie i am having the same issue right now... i leave in 4 days and MY STUPID SEWING MACHINE BROKE.

just trying to breathe...
in...out...in...out

i want to finish it all... but it looks like its time to be a little more reasonable about it all. but dammit. the sewing machine? now?! :x
doubt everything; find yr own light

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