I cant be bothered to read, can you answer my FAQ's?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 11:48 am

no.

Read the Survival Guide. Read the First Timers guide. Read EVERYTHING on the web site, then, and only then grassmoker, will you get to use the Bong of Wisdom.

otherwise, expect a bad resin hit of Banality.

josheezammit · Post by **josheezammit** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 11:59 am

thanks man :D

Post by **Sham** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 11:59 am

Like, what's a survival guide man?

*Are there places to buy food and water at Burning Man?
*Are there hotels nearby?
*Can I take a taxi into the town?
*Can I sell things there?
*Do they take credit cards at the BRC gas station?
*Are the police really as easy on people caught with drugs as they say?
*Will my cell phone and iPhone work in BRC?
*Can I get a pass just for one day?

wedeliver · Post by **wedeliver** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:15 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:no.

Read the Survival Guide. Read the First Timers guide. Read EVERYTHING on the web site, then, and only then grassmoker, will you get to use the Bong of Wisdom.

otherwise, expect a bad resin hit of Banality.

Instead of what, where, when.. there should be a

who, why, whatever...

written by our verbal illustrator, Simon himself.

I'll pay you, in sheckles of course. what do ya think? Up to the task or making fun of everything? The images your words create work, you NEED to mine, plunder, process and produce that shit man...

(i mean your recent words about the Beacon ring so true, last year it was all about pork??? and I never got it)(I did save a copy tho)

ok, sorry, back to the thought above.

hey people, if you are coming to Burning Man, don't ask stupid questions, and pretty much anything today is stupid. We are all stupid, dumb and have a thumb up our collective asses. on the count of 3 lets pull it out.. ok... 1.... 2............ it's fucking stuck

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:33 pm

thanks

you're halfway there....please and thank you go a long way on the playa.

you're welcome, home.

now, what are the ten princes of pull?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:38 pm

Ps......Sir Yancurchayne is not one of them.

josheezammit · Post by **josheezammit** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:42 pm

[quote] now, what are the ten princes of pull?[/quote]
radical inclusion
Gifting
decommodification
radical self reliance
radical self expression
communal effort
civic respionsibility
leave no trace
participation
immediacy

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:50 pm

WELL HOT DOG! WE HAVE A WEINER!

Right on...good job joshee....here, hit this...take it with you....to an enclosed space, not out on the open playa, where you cant see any Law enforcement and they cant see you.

josheezammit · Post by **josheezammit** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:53 pm

that i appreciate your wit and your motivation towards higher knowledge and understanding of an event that has peaked my curiosity and I respect due to the nature of that which garnishes that wreath of wisdom around your noggin, and the fire around my well hidden bong.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:22 pm

UhhhhR....are their undercover poe-leece out therr?

evil chris · Post by **evil chris** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:26 pm

[quote="Simon of the Playa"]no.

Read the Survival Guide. Read the First Timers guide. Read EVERYTHING on the web site, then, and only then grassmoker, will you get to use the Bong of Wisdom.

otherwise, expect a bad resin hit of Banality.[/quote]

when i read your post i actually thought i read this: "i can't be bothered to be helpful, and i speak for everyone here when i say that."

Post by **AntiM** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:00 pm

I love it when everyone is right.

wedeliver · Post by **wedeliver** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:43 pm

evil chris wrote:
Simon of the Playa wrote:no.

Read the Survival Guide. Read the First Timers guide. Read EVERYTHING on the web site, then, and only then grassmoker, will you get to use the Bong of Wisdom.

otherwise, expect a bad resin hit of Banality.

when i read your post i actually thought i read this: "i can't be bothered to be helpful, and i speak for everyone here when i say that."

Humm, looking at his post and your post, I don't see the word "I".. I don't see the word "can't".. I don't see the word "bothered". now if that is what you read, perhaps reading glasses are in order.

or this explaination, people, future burners, want to know, they want to know if they will have a good time, they want to know if people will be friendly to them, they want to know if they will get laid. Now really how can anyone here answer any of those questions.

So, Simon was trying to remind you to read first, then when you ask your quesition, "will my tent blow away if I don't tie it down" or "will I catch an std at Burning Man". the answer, maybe, will be understood.

Now I really have no idea what I am talking about, and when I sit here typing I feel possessed by some force or power I cannot resist.

wedeliver · Post by **wedeliver** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:48 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:grassmoker

is that supposed to be read, "gras smoker" or "grass moker"

maybe the swedish aye? "gra ssmoker"?

people are confused by these references, what do they mean?

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:00 pm

What is FAQ, and how can I be one too?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:03 pm

We deliver, you know damn well they can't be Saved until They

wedeliver · Post by **wedeliver** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:29 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:We deliver, you know damn well they can't be Saved until They

ahhh, and we should think of this as an art project. wear colorful clothes and be prepared to lay on the ground for the photo shoot.

We need a leader, someone with carisma, who can lead us to a higher place!

wedeliver · Post by **wedeliver** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:31 pm

Ugly Dougly wrote:What is FAG, and how can I be one too?

Humm, ok, if thats what ya want.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:38 pm

We need a leader, someone with carisma, who can lead us to a higher place!

well if it's CHARISMA you want, then i'm your man.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/aw ... st_pop_pop

flatlander13 · Post by **flatlander13** » Sat Jun 27, 2009 10:19 am

Oh......Simon.....I'm so glad that you're here.......there is nobody else I would have lead me than you.......where are we going anyway?

Is it true that you used to be Shirley of the Playa.....then you had a sex change?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat Jun 27, 2009 10:23 am

picture this Post-Modern Parable.

we are in a run-away hybrid prius, but obeying the speed limit, on the Highway to Helco.

shirley, we've evolved.

wedeliver · Post by **wedeliver** » Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:28 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:picture this Post-Modern Parable.

we are in a run-away hybrid prius, but obeying the speed limit, on the Highway to Helco.

shirley, we've evolved.

sounds like something a rich hippie would buy and is there any other term for Post-Modern? I mean how do you get more modern then just.,.. I'm confused.

Are we illegally talking on our cell phone without a bluetooth? Do the headlights come on automaticly when you start the car and cannot be turned off no matter what? Is there a hole for a cig lighter but just a rubber cap over it, no lighter? Is the car a dark blue?

turn the ac up please, it's starting to get hot in here. (and crack the fucking window or stop smoking...please..)

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:47 am

(and crack the fucking window or stop smoking...please..)

there is a barber shop in fredericksburg, virginia.

it's next to a pawn shop over near mary washington hospital.

when i first walked in, i noticed instantly that unlike everywhere else, even PUBLIC OPEN SPACES like the goddamn OPEN AIR platforms for the trains, the clientele were smoking.

all of them...even the floppy eared hound in the corner.

i got my hair cut, and a shave, and in between the two, had a cigarette.

i cant tell you how good that cigarette was, because it borders on porn, and this is not the forum, but lets just say i enjoyed it.

it was the same feeling i got when i lit up in a grocery store in lovelock, and there were ashtrays ever 15 ft or so...

it was walking down the aisles in heaven.

my point is, when did the government become your mother?

big brother i can deal with, but the constant nagging to put your seat belt on and the ridiculous justification for vice taxes ("it costs us all through the health care and insurance for ill smokers") yeah, tell that to the 60% of this country who are FAT motherfuckers stuffing their faces with doritos that smell like vomit and washing it down with acid (not lsd, the real shit) laced 2 liter bottles of bubbly corn syrup.

If there was an airline, where all the stewardesses and all the pilots smoked, and all the passengers too, and it was a PRIVATE company with no shareholders, and everyone involved signed off on the whole litigation thing ad infinitum it STILL would be illegal, and i would STILL have to freak out everytime i get on an 8 hour flight...i dont even get my fucking luggage, i have to run 1000 fucking yards away from the nearest human or some bullshit before i can put something into my own body...and dont give me any second hand smoke horseshit, if you live within a mile of any road then you're getting more from the cars, so fuck off.

goddammit, i need a cigarette just thinking about it.

wedeliver · Post by **wedeliver** » Sat Jun 27, 2009 12:06 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:goddammit, i need a cigarette just thinking about it.

and therein lies the problem brother. I smoked, as a matter of fact I probably have spilled more tobacco then you have smoked in your whole life, not trying to brag, just speaking the truth. I would be smoking right now except that it started getting hard to breath. When you are sitting there and you hear a noise, you look around, what the fuck was that.. then you hear it again.. its your lungs, squeaking.. this probably has not happened to you yet.. tobacco was all bullshit, if you think you are an independant thinker, if you think you are not a follower, if you think..if you think.. if you think.. if you think. tobacco has no excuse, no rational!

curse sir walter raleigh, he was such a stupid get.

I'm right, you are wrong. I win! can I help? here's my suggestion, twist up some fatties, when you need to smoke, don't smoke tobacco instead smoke mother nature, after a while you might find a period where you forget about tobacco and that's a rush in itself.

One thing I hate right now in life is that I find it hard to be around people who are smoking. I think it is because I really want to grab them fucking cigs, stick one in each nostril and suck 'em down in ONE drag.. Or mabye it is the smell makes my stomach turn and I start to feel sick. I don't know, but I usually leave when people light up. I know it's my problem, but still I wish it weren't so...

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat Jun 27, 2009 12:16 pm

i know we deliver, i know....

my father had to quit before it quit him.

i have tried many times as well. And one day, of my own accord, i probably will too, give it up.

it should be my decision, though.

when does the greater good begin to squash the individual?

i would say about 1998 or so.......whoops, that just slipped out.

but it is a practical matter, one that must be accepted, but the struggle to balance the two are what we as a nation and as a community are going to have to deal with, and evolve.

do what thou will translates into smoke em' if you got em', but in all honesty, i always ask first if i am near anyone, as it has become polite to do so, and unlike this board, in person, i am well mannered.

until i get viciously drunk.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sat Jun 27, 2009 9:39 pm

I know that the city will be swarming with hot, burner chicks who will cling to me and beg to give me blow jobs and accept ass penetration from my magnificent tool.

I don't have to ask for their names or anything, do I?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Jun 28, 2009 8:01 am

only if you want to.

they're all aka's anyway.

bs bob · Post by **bs bob** » Sun Jun 28, 2009 9:14 am

to an enclosed space, not out on the open playa, where you cant see any Law enforcement and they cant see you.
unless u move swiftly in the dark of the playa

I cant be bothered to read, can you answer my FAQ's?

I cant be bothered to read, can you answer my FAQ's?

Re: I cant be bothered to read, can you answer my FAQ's?

please know

Re: I cant be bothered to read, can you answer my FAQ's?

Re: I cant be bothered to read, can you answer my FAQ's?

Re: I cant be bothered to read, can you answer my FAQ's?