Congratulations. You've reached a milestone in your relationship & you're ready to celebrate it. I predict (for what it's worth) that BM won't destroy your relationship. No reason not to be nervous or excited, it's OK. BM is a thrilling & scary prospect. If your experience was like ours, as terrifying as it may have been going in, looking back it was only thrilling in wonderful ways. Exactly what you're hoping it'll be.goodvibe wrote: I think we're finally to the point where this won't destroy us, but I (we) are still nervous. .
Wish granted.goodvibe wrote: I wish I could hear from other monogomous couples who have been and what their experiences have been..
This may happen. If we may give some advice, go ahead and give your spouse permission to be hurt or jealous. Decide it's understandable. Promise yourself you'll do your best to reassure your spouse that no matter how gorgeous someone else finds you, you aren't about to run off with that person into the desert, leaving your spouse cold & alone.goodvibe wrote: Our main concerns are just that we'll get our feelings hurt by other people who are interested in our spouse. .
It's possible someone may find you or your spouse THAT unresistable.
That wasn't our experience though. Not that there didn't seem to be people who felt we (individually) were cute, (and not that there weren't people who find us to be a cute couple) but we didn't run into anyone who made us uncomfortable. Everyone seemed to respect our relationship and how we chose to express it. For all the sensuality, sexuality, nudity & sometimes uncomfortably sexy situations neither of us ever felt for a moment pressured or threatened. We expected to. But it never happened. Our experience was that our fellow burners, like the best of family, apply the 'no judgement' policy as evenly to those who choose more traditional modes of personal expression (in dress, sexual mores or any other kind of behavior) as they do with those who choose less traditional behaviour.
That was our response. We couldn't imagine doing anything that rash. We'd NEED each other to survive this. (Though, if I remember correctly, it doesn't actually suggest splitting up 'for a whole day'. Just a couple of hours a day.)goodvibe wrote: I am not sure I feel comfortable just letting my husband out of my sight for a whole day as the relationship survival guide suggests. .
And while we stayed together most days, as unbelieveable as it sounds there'll come a time (if only once) when you'll beg your spouse to take off for awhile. Set a firm time to meet back up, definitely (it was the reassurance we needed). But the combination of blazing heat, freezing cold, sweatyness, stickyness, grittyness, thirst, hunger, low-salt, sleeping on the ground and pandemonious sensory overload will, almost certainly, however well you take care of yourselves & each other, combine at some point to make you... um.. cranky. Especially toward those you love most. A little time-out is WONDERFULLY healing.
I can only say, if your experience was anything like ours, there'll come a point (and it took us quite a while to realize it) where that statement is no longer true. And neither of us are particularly gregarious or trusting under the best of circumstances, so I'll admit we found this realization profoundly moving.goodvibe wrote:I know I trust him, but I don't trust another single human out there..
We offer one caveat, however. If your relationship is currently strained by incidents of substance-induced compromising situations, then it might be wise to plan on enjoying most of your trip sober. Honestly, there's so much going on you'll feel as though you're walking on the moon entirely without the influence of any other substance. And there are literally 1000's of wonderful beautiful things happening at any given moment that don't involve sex, drugs or alchohol. You won't have to look but across the street to find 3 of them going on.
If need to know more, don't hesitate to post or PM any question, thought or concern.goodvibe wrote:I wish someone had more information on this type of thing, although I realize everyone is going to have a different experience.
To bring us back to the beginning, you may find it more productive to have a plan in place to handle arguements and jealousy, rather than trying or hoping to avoid them. You'll be hot. You'll be cold. You'll be tired. You (for whatever reason) will be uncomfortable at some point. These aren't always conditions condusive to rational thought. Have a plan for when it happens to you. Discuss it. Agree to it. Communication beforehand won't prevent (occasional!) crankyness during the event, but it will keep it from ruining your trip.goodvibe wrote:I just want to avoid arguments and jealousy.
Hope you guys found this helpful. If not, let us know that too.