My Frustration

Questions, answers, tips & tricks for newbies and veterans alike
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Victorian
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My Frustration

Post by Victorian » Sun Jan 17, 2010 12:53 pm

This post is for two reasons; 1. To get some much needed advice and 2. To vent my frustrations... so I apologize in advance.

I'm a 21 yr old female who happened to stumble apon the burner community about a year or so ago in Phoenix az, when I travelled several times to attend some raves, attend some weekend camping trips, and a regional I believe...

I've since then lost touch with the Ravers I met, and a few of the AZ burners haven't been too helpful in replying any questions I had, or allowing me to tag along. Maybe I smell or my voice is annoying?

Regardless. I didn't attend BM last year for several reasons, this being one.
I've since then tried getting some locals involved and opening their eyes to this other dimension. None have since been interested. Brother lives in Prescott, with a burner and his family, though they decided this year they are not going as well.

My camp has now dwindled down to me, and my best friend in Tucson, who as of late, seems to be ALSO flaking out...

I'm in a smaller, rural area, and yes I can outsource, but I can't quite afford to be travelling the 3 hours out of town to vegas or phoenix to meet some more weary travellers if I even want to attempt to make this years trip.

So question would be; what's the best was for a loner to take this trip???
I don't want to be a burden to a theme camp, yet I'd hate to do this whole thing alone for fear of anything between the start and end of my journey to ruin things.... I'm just kind of at a loss here....

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ygmir
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Post by ygmir » Sun Jan 17, 2010 12:59 pm

in short, IMHO, if you keep posting here, and, interacting, you'll end up meeting or connecting with others.......but, you gotta be patient. Everyone isn't here all the time. Many come and go.
It ramps up as summer approaches and all.

you may also find trying to "enlighten" others to the burn and all, is, problematic, and, mostly, a waste of time.

"Be self reliant, and, others will accept you and offer help"
"Be needy, and, find yourself alone"

Just some thoughts.
good luck.
YGMIR

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ragabashpup
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Post by ragabashpup » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:00 pm

I am sorry to hear that your original group is dropping out on you.
What are your biggest concerns about camping and making the trip alone?
Is it financial or is it the idea of taking on something so big and new all by yourself?
Ragabadger don't give a shit.

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C.f.M.
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Post by C.f.M. » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:14 pm

It's almost a year a way. You could die tonight. Who knows who all you'll know, this time next year? Just keep on making preparations for yourself (figuring out shelter, food, what to wear, etc.) and let life lead you where it will.

what's the best was for a loner to take this trip???

Pack in everything you'll need for your stay, and then pack it all out. Try to have some fun in between when you get there, and leave.

...unless you meant something more specific?


I don't want to be a burden to a theme camp, yet I'd hate to do this whole thing alone for fear of anything between the start and end of my journey to ruin things.... I'm just kind of at a loss here....

A loss as to what? There's a myriad of theme camps - many of whom will post here, looking for people to join. The official list will also have contact information, for camps looking for people to join.

I say find one, for your first year.

It'll happen. Relax.

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Victorian
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Post by Victorian » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:46 pm

Thank you all for the tips. You've got great advice.

I'm sure I'm acting jaded. Who wouldn't on their first trip...

I've got the finances square, the equipment and supplies, I'm at the moment, worried about the means of travelling. The one person willing to still go has his own ideas, and I'm frustrated because he is my best friend and he's the one person I'd love to take with from the default world.

But then again, he hasn't even taken the time to browse burningman.com...
I wonder if he realizes what this trip takes, or maybe I should just plan without him as well and go completely solo.

I wanted to rent a truck, he does not, and I can't think of an easier way considering I drive a VW beetle that can fit 2 boxes of stuff in the trunk, minimum.

Patience seems to be the best option right now though...
Thanks again, I needed a smack lol

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gaminwench
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Post by gaminwench » Sun Jan 17, 2010 2:06 pm

Sounds like you are waaaay ahead of the B'irgin game!!!
Around mid-June the ride-share boards will start hopping, I'd bet you'll find someone who needs a lift (screen carefully, get gas $ up front)...
Themecamps don't make application til the end of May, that's when this board will heat up with themecamp opportunities...
You're fine! Actually, better than fine...stay in contact with the crusty folks here, for moral support...
and, as stated above, it almost never works to talk someone into BM, especially when you haven't been yourself, but once you arrive, you'll have 40,000 new best burner friends!
Keep it up!!!

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Elorrum
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Post by Elorrum » Sun Jan 17, 2010 2:07 pm

I've been three times by myself in a small car. No worries, great fun. Suit up and show up, works in many aspects of life.

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phil
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Post by phil » Sun Jan 17, 2010 2:50 pm

Hi, Victorian,

Louise and I camp in Hushville, and we have lots of 'loners' camping in our group. Being there without your default world acquaintances may seem daunting for your first time, but you'll be among friends at BM when you arrive - you just don't know them yet. Burning Man is a wonderful place to be; you'll be surrounded by helpful people more or less like you who will be happy to contribute to setting up your camp with you.

I understand your concern about camping with a theme camp to have some companionship; stay here on ePlaya and post queries and read other threads for ideas. Lots of single campers post here. But you'll find that nobody is alone on the playa who doesn't want to be. Burners are remarkable for their friendliness and sharing. Be open to getting and giving help, and you won't be alone.

One of my lessons from Burning Man is that if you want something to happen, you have to be prepared to do it all by yourself. If you want to go to Burning Man, you must be prepared to make that happen all by yourself. It's nice if friends can go, but you have to be prepared all on your own. If trying to tag along with other locals isn't working, if getting friends excited enough to to with you isn't working, then be prepared to go on your own. I assure you it will be worth it.

> yet I'd hate to do this whole thing alone for fear of anything between
> the start and end of my journey to ruin things....

I have no clue what your specific fear is. Fear of anything? I don't understand. Most problems can be solved, so please tell what problems you fear; you'll get lots of suggestions and offers. You'll find that Burners are very supportive of those in need. Just be clear on what your needs and problems are.

You can make the trip alone, you can have a wonderful time at Burning Man on your own. Thousands of people do every year; please be one of them.

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motskyroonmatick
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Post by motskyroonmatick » Sun Jan 17, 2010 3:51 pm

I went solo my first year. I was very apprehensive but once I got to within sight distance of the city all that evaporated. I camped out on the edge of the city which is not necessary. I had fantastic neighbors anyway. I have had really great neighbors every year at the burn. That is reflective on the kind of people the event attracts.
I think you can do the burn in your car with no problems. It may save you some $ on a rental too. Easier yet if you have a bike rack to get your bike out from inside the car. Many people show up in small cars and do fine. You are planning early and that is important because you will be that much more well prepared. Good job!
I am mildly sad every year when my default friends don't go with me to burning man but to really want to go you have to have the bug. Sadly the burning man bug is only semi contagious. You are going to have a great burn!!!
Black Rock City Welding & Repair. The Night Time Warming Station. iGNiTE! Bar.

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When you pass the 4th "bridge out!" sign; the flaming death is all yours.-Knowmad-

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Captain Goddammit
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Post by Captain Goddammit » Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:21 pm

Victorian:
You sound like you've got your shit together better than lots of others!
There was a camp called Stag Camp comprised entirely of people who show up by themselves... try looking to see if they're still doing it. It's kind of like one of those Thanksgiving or other holiday parties where a bunch of people that all had nowhere to go get together and end up having a great time. But the others are right, whether with an organized camp or not, you'll immediately make friends.

As for transportation, yeah lots do it in a small car, but I always bring a truck (and trailer) because I want to bring lots of stuff, and if you were wanting to rent a truck I'm guessing you're of similar mind. And I say good for you, someone has to bring all the cool stuff! People show up in semi trucks... I've even considered that.
At least around here, anything that's a gas guzzler sells dirt cheap. Maybe you could get yourself a good-running '70s or 80's full-size pickup for cheap, and maybe even resell it after the burn.
Usually my first response to someone like you is "get a trailer!" but with a Beetle that's probably out.

I'll also second the idea that talking non-burners into going to Burning Man is usually a waste of time. If they're all excited about it when they find out about it, sure, but if they're not interested, forget it.
GreyCoyote: "At this rate it wont be long before he is Admiral Fukkit."

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mudpuppy000
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Post by mudpuppy000 » Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:37 pm

Don't worry! I had my friends drop out at the last minute last year, and went solo for my first time. I had no idea what to expect, but it ended up being an amazing experience. I think the lack of knowing anyone at all really increased the sense of adventure for me, and the feeling that I fell off the world and landed in some fantasy land. :)

You'll make LOTS of friends there too, I guarantee it. :)

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phil
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Post by phil » Sun Jan 17, 2010 7:12 pm

Louise and I do a Web site about Burning Man, and we have guides for first timers and second timers:
http://www.cieux.com/bm/bmtoc.html#perennialGuides
and browse the links for tips you may find helpful.

Stop by our camp on Thursday and we'll take you to the annual cocktail party we'll introduce you around. Drop me a private message in August (! - because that's when we'll know where we're camping), and I'll let you know when and where to meet us. Drop by any time, though, and say hi. We'll give you free clothes on Friday:
http://civex.smugmug.com/Other/Fashion- ... 7306_YNrhE
password is burningMan

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motskyroonmatick
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Post by motskyroonmatick » Sun Jan 17, 2010 7:52 pm

I am in Stag Camp. We are making plans for this year. If you want info PM me.
Black Rock City Welding & Repair. The Night Time Warming Station. iGNiTE! Bar.

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When you pass the 4th "bridge out!" sign; the flaming death is all yours.-Knowmad-

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gyre
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Post by gyre » Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:15 pm

Just go.
If you don't like it, go somewhere else.

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gyre
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Post by gyre » Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:37 pm

Captain Goddammit wrote:

Usually my first response to someone like you is "get a trailer!" but with a Beetle that's probably out.
A beetle can pull a small trailer, if it's the right trailer.

Image
(not recommending this trailer, just an example)

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Tiahaar
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heheh

Post by Tiahaar » Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:12 pm

That is one very cool 'beetle'! :D I can just imagine them calling up Uhaul for a hitch install ('you want to put a trailer hitch on a what??')

Ditto on the near uselessness of convincing someone who is not sure they want to go, to go. I have had exactly one friend in seven years who upon learning of BurningMan for the first time went WOW I AM SO THERE! He has since moved away and is unable to get his partner interested in going again, so now I hunt for rideshares too and have a great new friend through them who has been coming with me for 3 years now.

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Captain Goddammit
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Post by Captain Goddammit » Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:49 pm

gyre wrote: A beetle can pull a small trailer, if it's the right trailer.
Yeah, I've got a '78 Super Beetle convertible... the "right" trailer for it is the same one that's right for a motorcycle.
GreyCoyote: "At this rate it wont be long before he is Admiral Fukkit."

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gyre
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Post by gyre » Sun Jan 17, 2010 10:31 pm

Since she said her beetle has a trunk, I'm hoping it actually has an engine.

I built my trailer for a 1300 hemi fiat spider.
Long and narrow with an independent suspension and adjustable torsion bar, acting as an antisway bar.
I also have a single wheel trailer, built of fibreglas and aluminum.
Single wheel trailers are a great way to go.

http://www.singlewheel.com/
Image
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C.f.M.
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Post by C.f.M. » Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:56 am

There's many camps with the theme of "a bunch of loners."

If you have all that shit together, then just chill out for the next...eight months. Save your panic and fear for later.

You might also want to read my blog. From the beginning. Having been to the playa, now, the recent posts aren't related. But everything in the beginning is.

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Captain Goddammit
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Post by Captain Goddammit » Mon Jan 18, 2010 7:43 am

Hahahaha! Those are the dinky trailers I was talking about! Hardly a replacement for someone who wants a moving truck to haul lots of big and heavy BM stuff! Dude, I HAVE a Beetle...
Image

It ain't no replacement for a truck regardless of what trailer it attempts to pull!
GreyCoyote: "At this rate it wont be long before he is Admiral Fukkit."

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gyre
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Post by gyre » Mon Jan 18, 2010 8:03 am

No, they're more for bulk, but they can save your ass sometimes.
Would be useful just for that last trip from reno carrying water and stuff.
Of course you want the weight in the car and the bulk on the trailer when possible.

My trailer has an 8' 2" long bed and I've carried a lot of full sheets of plywood without having to go get a truck.
With a really good compliant suspension, the only limit seems to be what I can start with, without destroying the clutch.
The 1290 dohc has almost no torque off idle, and I carried concrete blocks and all kinds of things I didn't want to put in the car even when it would fit.
Recently moved semi wheels and concrete blocks with the same trailer.
It's the most useful thing I've ever bought.

I have seen some fairly big single wheel trailers.
The limit is always how much your wheel can handle.
Trucks can handle a fairly big one and they have a huge aerodynamic advantage over trailers with the long gap between the front vehicle and the trailer.
My single wheel is about the size of a rooftop carrier and really light.
Doubles trunk space on a small car though.
That can be significant.

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lambert13
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Post by lambert13 » Mon Jan 18, 2010 8:42 am

phil wrote:Louise and I do a Web site about Burning Man, and we have guides for first timers and second timers:
http://www.cieux.com/bm/bmtoc.html#perennialGuides
and browse the links for tips you may find helpful.

Stop by our camp on Thursday and we'll take you to the annual cocktail party we'll introduce you around. Drop me a private message in August (! - because that's when we'll know where we're camping), and I'll let you know when and where to meet us. Drop by any time, though, and say hi. We'll give you free clothes on Friday:
http://civex.smugmug.com/Other/Fashion- ... 7306_YNrhE
password is burningMan
Your website is fantastic! I found it by chance last week and have been reading various parts of it daily. Thank you for putting that together.
It's pointless to walk when it's past time to run.

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Ugly Dougly
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Post by Ugly Dougly » Mon Jan 18, 2010 10:13 am

I would like to apologize in advance as well.

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dinks
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Post by dinks » Mon Jan 18, 2010 10:39 am

Finding a full sized car or small truck for cheap in Phoenix should be pretty easy. Lots of auctions and title pawn places out there have to much inventory.

Lord Of Ruin
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Post by Lord Of Ruin » Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:11 pm

Caveat: I'm a planner by nature. I do layers and layers of plans and contingencies. I LIKE doing that, and having so many contingencies gives me lots of flexibility. You'll find people here that do that whole "throw some water, some undahpants and some snacks and get here!"

That ain't me...so this should be viewed with that bias.

Ok, here's my advice:

First contingency would be my "oh shit, they all flaked on me but I've been planning for months and I ain't gonna miss it" plan.

This is the minimum sustenance stuff you'll need out there....water, babywipes, some food, and a few changes of clothes. Accessories like sunblock, sunglasses, hats,e tc can be tucked anywhere. Put all this in some bags, then get yourself a 2 person pup tent. Small, low to the ground...you'll set it up behind your car, using its bulk as a windblock.

So that's what happens if all the rest falls through. See, we're better already!

Now, what I would RECOMMEND, would you do the above for your personal gear, but spend time on these boards investigating theme camps that you can join. There are quite a few that assume they are going to have new members they've never met. You'll probably pay a small fee for the week, but get communal kitchen and maybe even showers in exchange. You'll probably have a few chores to do during the event for your camp. This gets you experienced camp mates, security for your stuff and you, as well as some willing guides for your adventures if you hit it off!

Theme camps can be very loose or very tightly knit...you'll just have to interact with some online to get a sense.

Then, your third option would be to hunt rideshare boards to see if you can get in with someone from your area or maybe Vegas. You'd drive there, then join up with them and ride in.

Heck, if you volunteer enough for some of the departments, they'll feed and shower you all week for free (Gate and Rangers are among them). They take a significant time commitment to get those things provided for you (generally more than 30 hours throughout the week) but they DO make it possible for some people to attend.

Planning is part of the fun of it! You CAN go just fine, the only question is how it will end up! Don't worry...we're gonna see you there!

LoR
The fox provides for himself, but God provides for the lion - W. Blake (attribution corrected)

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C.f.M.
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Post by C.f.M. » Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:19 pm

Virgins can volunteer for Ranger training, but not to be Rangers.

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phil
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Post by phil » Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:29 pm

I'm probably in the minority, but I recommend that first timers don't volunteer for the Man. There's too much basic stuff to figure out for survival and fun, too much to see, too much to take in. Just go and be there the first time. Then if you want to volunteer, find a group that appeals to you - and if you've been once, you'll have a better handle on what would appeal to you.

If you go for the full week and find you can handle it all well enough to volunteer, go to the ice sales or the center camp cafe. I'm sure they'll have plenty of room for a late in the event volunteer.

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C.f.M.
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Post by C.f.M. » Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:35 pm

phil wrote:I'm probably in the minority, but I recommend that first timers don't volunteer for the Man. There's too much basic stuff to figure out for survival and fun, too much to see, too much to take in. Just go and be there the first time. Then if you want to volunteer, find a group that appeals to you - and if you've been once, you'll have a better handle on what would appeal to you.

If you go for the full week and find you can handle it all well enough to volunteer, go to the ice sales or the center camp cafe. I'm sure they'll have plenty of room for a late in the event volunteer.
Agreed. I offered similiar advice to her in another thread, not to overstrech one's self, the first time.

I (Ranger, APW, team lead, etc.) was given the same advice, and I couldn't have been more grateful for it.

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Elorrum
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Post by Elorrum » Mon Jan 18, 2010 6:51 pm

gyre mentioned this and it seems like a good idea for you. If you are driving by yourself, take the passenger front seat out. It will give you some more space.

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theCryptofishist
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Post by theCryptofishist » Mon Jan 18, 2010 7:24 pm

The theme camp admission rally is earlier this year, which means that the camps have to make their best guess about population earlier (it's part of the application.) Which means that, depending on how individual camps handle this, this may affect the whole getting into theme camps thing.

eta: "how" it makes more sense this way
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Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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