Afraid...

Questions, answers, tips & tricks for newbies and veterans alike
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FIGJAM
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Post by FIGJAM » Sun Oct 17, 2010 4:48 pm

Burning Man is such an all consuming lover that if she goes and is affected by it as most burners are, your going to wish that all she had done was cheat on you.

When she comes back from BM with a glazed, dusty smile and a twinkle in her eyes and cant stop talking about the great time she had and her plans for "next year", the fact that she didnt have sex on the playa wont mean anything compared with her new obsession. :lol:
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

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theCryptofishist
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Post by theCryptofishist » Sun Oct 17, 2010 5:35 pm

isis_1990 wrote:Anyway that roll stuff...isn't that a smily? Or ain't it working lol...i don't think my quotes are working as well....meh.
Go to your profile and uncheck the boxes that say "Disable BBCode" and "Disable Smilies." It won't fix what you've already done, but from now on, it will work.


So, how many people will have explained this by the time I get to the bottom?
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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theCryptofishist
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Post by theCryptofishist » Sun Oct 17, 2010 5:45 pm

Um, yeah. Maybe some work on your budget; there might be places were you can save, and then you can take her to places, at least bars and shopping.
She may not even like the burn, you know. Every year--what is it, half?--of the people who come are new. We don't double in size every year. Yes, some people can't afford it, or are caught up in other of life's delights and horrors, but many choose not to come back. You're hearing from a pretty hard core group. Have any of us been on eplaya less than a year? Okay, Maryanimal and maybe Figjam...
Some of the most amazing stuff that goes on isn't the art, and isn't the nudity, but is the tinkering. There must be hundreds of people every year who are on the "build a better shower" quest. And then there's "Build a better shade structure", "Build a better kitchen", and "Build a better evaporation pond."
People making all sorts of costumes and adapting their bikes. If you juggle, tell jokes, carve names into grains of rice, you can find people on playa that think that's the greatest thing since sliced bread.
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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Elorrum
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Post by Elorrum » Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:53 pm

FIGJAM wrote:Burning Man is such an all consuming lover that if she goes and is affected by it as most burners are, your going to wish that all she had done was cheat on you.

When she comes back from BM with a glazed, dusty smile and a twinkle in her eyes and cant stop talking about the great time she had and her plans for "next year", the fact that she didnt have sex on the playa wont mean anything compared with her new obsession. :lol:
bonus round goes to FIGJAM

There are so many kinds of cups of tea at Burning Man.... Saying it isn't your cup of tea, well, you don't know that. Like Muskogee, a square can have a ball there.

It is bad juju to try and convince somebody to come to Burning Man. If you have doubts, stay home until you want to go. Save for a one week trip you want to take by yourself as well.

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maryanimal
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Post by maryanimal » Sun Oct 17, 2010 9:34 pm

And yes, I'm new to eplaya, maybe I've overstepped my bounds in my post with some of the things I said issi. But I meant well. Even though it'll be my first burn my comments were not from experience (regarding burning man) but from other life experience. Being older that playa dust I've learned some lessons. I can say I really am excited to go next year, and no amount of preparation will really prepare me for what I'll experience there for my first burn.

If I did overstep my bounds isis, I am truly sorry. :(
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.

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Trishntek
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Post by Trishntek » Sun Oct 17, 2010 11:59 pm

I think there is one thing more needs to be said about this, which will probably open even more discussion. The general attitude among burners is a truly open mind toward what may or may not happen at the event. Expectations are rarely realistic or entertained in the minds of many who attend. It is an event that unfolds before us as we interact person to person. No phones, twitters and very limited texting/computing in BRC.

So you are afraid your lady might actually talk to people face-to-face? In my limited experience, I've never met a more generous, thankful, unpretentious happy group of people in my life. Burning Man is about getting human again. It is about getting the creative juices flowing and witnessing the unimagined possibilities rarely seen anywhere, let alone so many in one city.

Isis, maybe dusty, hot sunny, windy, cold darkness and noisy environments are not your cup 'o tea. But it is the people that make it a special place. To witness the blank canvass of the playa come to life in ways only humans can create is an awe-inspiring experience.

I sincerely believe your greatest fear is coming to terms with your own humanity. You fear your self-perceived limitations and ability to properly handle a good challenge to your cup 'o tea. I guarantee you will find it (if you seek it) and so MUCH MORE at Burning Man if you are man enough to overcome that which holds you back.
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busgypsy
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Post by busgypsy » Mon Oct 18, 2010 12:44 am

At burning man you create your own cup of tea. You can have as much or as little fun as you want. You can meet exciting people from all walks of life or simply be a spectator in a very interactive city that will evolve and live right before your eyes. If you want drugs you can find them. If you want sex you can find it. If you want art you can see it. You create your own experience. It's time to color outside the lines. If you don't embrace and try to accept or understand what your girlfriends decision to go to burning man and even consider joining her, then you have already started down a separate path that will only widen in time. She will not return to you the same person that left.
If you dug a hole through the center of the earth,and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

isis_1990
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Post by isis_1990 » Mon Oct 18, 2010 2:37 am

Thanks for some replies guys.

I have been thinking. And indeed there might always be a chance i will find the burning man to be interesting, maybe there is something for my cup of tea. But i don't think i can survive without electronics, no normal toilets, no showers..

And i am not afraid my girlfriend will talk to other people or whatsoever, only the kissing-sexing with someone thats what i am afraid of.

But like you guys said, there are so many other things around to do there....that my girlfriend might not even THINK about getting with someone else.

Its just in my head if i think about it like this; '' Oh one week away from me, and one week no sex.....''. I would get horny as hell if i don't get off for a week.

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maryanimal
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Post by maryanimal » Mon Oct 18, 2010 2:52 am

isis_1990 wrote:Thanks for some replies guys.

I have been thinking. And indeed there might always be a chance i will find the burning man to be interesting, maybe there is something for my cup of tea. But i don't think i can survive without electronics, no normal toilets, no showers..

And i am not afraid my boyfriend will talk to other people or whatsoever, only the kissing-sexing with someone thats what i am afraid of.

But like you guys said, there are so many other things around to do there....that my girlfriend might not even THINK about getting with someone else.

Its just in my head if i think about it like this; '' Oh one week away from me, and one week no sex.....''. I would get horny as hell if i don't get off for a week.
Your boyfriend?? It HAS to be a typo. Anyway, Isis you have 300+ days to think about it a bit more! As the old Life cereal ad goes "Try it. You'll like it!"
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.

isis_1990
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Post by isis_1990 » Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:11 am

maryanimal wrote:
isis_1990 wrote:Thanks for some replies guys.

I have been thinking. And indeed there might always be a chance i will find the burning man to be interesting, maybe there is something for my cup of tea. But i don't think i can survive without electronics, no normal toilets, no showers..

And i am not afraid my boyfriend will talk to other people or whatsoever, only the kissing-sexing with someone thats what i am afraid of.

But like you guys said, there are so many other things around to do there....that my girlfriend might not even THINK about getting with someone else.

Its just in my head if i think about it like this; '' Oh one week away from me, and one week no sex.....''. I would get horny as hell if i don't get off for a week.
Your boyfriend?? It HAS to be a typo. Anyway, Isis you have 300+ days to think about it a bit more! As the old Life cereal ad goes "Try it. You'll like it!"

Haha yes it's a typo. My sister came in the room talking shit about her relationship. So i was distracted :x

Anyway indeed, i have enough time to think about it! And talk about it with her! But if i want to join her on going, then i want to save money now :roll:

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lambert13
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Post by lambert13 » Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:01 am

isis_1990 wrote:
Its just in my head if i think about it like this; '' Oh one week away from me, and one week no sex.....''. I would get horny as hell if i don't get off for a week.
I am guessing you are fairly young eh? Give it a few years youngin'. You'll be happier about a hot cup of coffee and a nice shit in the morning.

You think you cant go a week without it. But. Think about how good it could be if you waited two weeks.

Let her go. Go get into some hijinks while she is gone. Have some fun and don't waste your youth worrying about a relationship.
It's pointless to walk when it's past time to run.

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ygmir
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Post by ygmir » Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:24 am

just so Firemoose can recognize her, do you have any photos you can post?

page 2 right?
YGMIR

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AntiM
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Post by AntiM » Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:31 am

Maybe she will only kiss girls while she is there. You never know. I am even serious. Only place I kiss girls, but then, I'm with MyLarry so he doesn't care much. Just kissing for fun, nothing more. Heck, get him tipsy and he'll kiss boys. Why not?

LOL on the no sex for a week. When we first married, we were both active duty Navy. He was on a ship and I was in central Japan. We saw each other a total of 28 days in the first two years we were married. Sex? Oh, amazing when we did get to see each other, but mostly we went without. And we didn't mind, because we knew we'd be back together eventually. Sex is great, but people can easily do without if they choose. And MyLarry is very sexually charged, even now. So it wasn't lack of interest and desire, just being mature about what he wanted.

Burning Man doesn't MAKE people have sex. in fact, it is a hot and dusty place to do it. Kinda icky without showers. Sometimes the fun is being sexy and sensual, without the messy reality of sex.

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Post by drucake » Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:56 am

isis- i think you should really try to go with her. i think it would be great if you went and had a great time. do you know how many people say- burning man isnt their cup of tea. but they go and have a great time! i really think you should try. do it for your girlfriend and do it for yourself! its 1 week out of your life to do something new! life is so short! before you know it youll be 60 and wondering where it all went. not everyone does drugs, runs around naked and has sex. there are a lot of people that are conservative. theres even aa meetings! i know tons of people that have never done a drug in there lives and go to burning man and have a great time! do you realize how much fun it is and all the adventures you can have? i would start by watching a documentary called-dust and illusion. bm is so much more than you realize.
call me crazy but i would love for you to go, have a great time w your girl and then get back on this message board and tell us thank you.
remember- its 1 week out of your life and you might actually have fun! it might even be something you've always needed and you just didn't realize it.
it happens all the time. :D

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Dr. Pyro
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Post by Dr. Pyro » Mon Oct 18, 2010 8:11 am

All right everybody, it's time for The Good Doctor to be the Voice of Resaon: Send her over to my camp and I swear to God I will take care of her, see that's she's fed, showered, pampered, showered, dressed, showered, undressed, showered, and hydrated. Oh, and did I mention we have showers?

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theCryptofishist
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Post by theCryptofishist » Mon Oct 18, 2010 9:19 am

maryanimal wrote:And yes, I'm new to eplaya, maybe I've overstepped my bounds
If any of this is because of what I posted, I'm sorry. My comment was about the pool of people he was asking--no one was likely to say "She's gonna hate it, come back home chagrined, and you have no worries."
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

Turnip
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Post by Turnip » Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:22 am

God, you're fucking stupid.
Suck it up or move the fuck on.

Chances are, your attitude is what would make your girl want to leave you and cheat on you in the first place. It's a vicious cycle, isn't it?

Your situation and relationship can't be fixed by complaining and shadowing your girl's steps.



I won't be as nice as the other people here. Bottom line is to suck it up or move out of the way.
God Please, don't make me make myself look like a moron...

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junglesmacks
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Post by junglesmacks » Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:28 am

+1
Savannah wrote:It sounds freaky & wrong, so you need to do it.

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Savannah
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Post by Savannah » Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:49 am

All right everybody, it's time for The Good Doctor to be the Voice of Resaon: Send her over to my camp and I swear to God I will take care of her, see that's she's fed, showered, pampered, showered, dressed, showered, undressed, showered, and hydrated. Oh, and did I mention we have showers?
:lol:

Okay, Isis. If your girlfriend wants to cheat, do drugs and run around naked and unshowered she can do it back home on the cheap. The experience is so much more than that, and if it's hard to wrap your mind around it you must realize that it's because 1) it's impossible for us to completely describe it to you, nor is anyone tempted to waste their finest words about it on an uninterested stranger & 2) you're not as receptive to understanding it because part of you hasn't wanted to.

A week without sex is not going to make your girlfriend transform into the Wolfman. (As you acknowledge, that's what you're afraid would happen to you, so stop projecting it on her). And being a dick about her travel plans will be counter-productive, guaranteed--as well as piss her off, and have absolutely no power to stop her if she plans to cheat. But it's probably not what she's about, right? (If it is what she's about and you're not on the same page, Burning Man has nothing to do with it, and there is already a problem.)


Best for her to think you're an awesome boyfriend for being supportive, and for her to miss you while she's there. Have a good, civil, comforting chat before she goes, and don't be an ass. The relationship will go how it's meant to go anyway. Especially if you're ill-suited and you decide to make this your Waterloo by fighting with her and accusing an innocent person of stuff she hasn't done.

This is more about your issues with fear than about her at all. The title of your thread is "afraid", you're afraid in your relationship, you're afraid you can't last a week without electronics, real bathrooms, and showers. This whole deal might be more to do with your anxiety as a person than who she is. You seem to lead with a lot of fear. Don't feel insulted--I am intimately familiar with both 1) personal anxiety, & 2) wanting a shower. :)

Good luck to you. If you actually decide to go (and that's a big decision) there are numerous ways to get a shower out there and you are fully capable of taking control of it if you decide to. But don't go if you're not going to commit to it, and just want to supervise your girl. That would equal a terrible time.

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Post by Fire_Moose » Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:56 am

What a pussy...and isn't Isis the Egyptian goddess of fertility?

based on what you have written and yer name, i think you are a 19-20 year old just outta the closet lesbo.

stop being such a faggot.

If she was gonna cheat on you don't cha think she would have already or will anyway? You think a week in the desert is finally going to let her see the light of how miserably you fail her?

why would you want to be with someone who might do that? grow up, and leave her, that way she can actually have fun out there without you calling her cell every half hour.
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maryanimal
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Post by maryanimal » Mon Oct 18, 2010 11:11 am

theCryptofishist wrote:
maryanimal wrote:And yes, I'm new to eplaya, maybe I've overstepped my bounds
If any of this is because of what I posted, I'm sorry. My comment was about the pool of people he was asking--no one was likely to say "She's gonna hate it, come back home chagrined, and you have no worries."
I understood your comment Cryptofish. No worries. It made me think if I was coming off like I knew burning man inside and out when I don't!! I have to remember not to have specific expectations when I go. I'll go with an open mind. I'm sure I'll get overwhelmed at times. That's a given. :D
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.

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cahlm
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Post by cahlm » Mon Oct 18, 2010 11:41 am

Turnip wrote:God, you're fucking stupid.
Suck it up or move the fuck on.

Chances are, your attitude is what would make your girl want to leave you and cheat on you in the first place. It's a vicious cycle, isn't it?

Your situation and relationship can't be fixed by complaining and shadowing your girl's steps.



I won't be as nice as the other people here. Bottom line is to suck it up or move out of the way.
Well this is what I WAS gonna say. Good form, sir.

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Mojojita
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Post by Mojojita » Mon Oct 18, 2010 12:02 pm

I think you have other things to fear:
1) You are afraid she will have a lot of fun without you. (She will)
2) She will see you as a boring, jealous, stick-in-the-mud. (You may just be)
3) You are not willing to put in the hard work or financial sacrifice to go with her. (There is still plenty of time to earn and save the extra money)
4) There is a common thread here - it seems to be ALL ABOUT YOU. It is not selfish of her to want to go - it is selfish of you to be negative about it.

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Savannah
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Post by Savannah » Mon Oct 18, 2010 12:13 pm

Great points.

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junglesmacks
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Post by junglesmacks » Mon Oct 18, 2010 12:21 pm

Image
Savannah wrote:It sounds freaky & wrong, so you need to do it.

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dragonpilot
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Post by dragonpilot » Mon Oct 18, 2010 12:35 pm

This is just the way Hitler thought when he formed the Nazi Party!

(There...invoking Godwin's Law the thread is hereby ended!)
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Post by Elderberry » Mon Oct 18, 2010 12:46 pm

Fire_Moose wrote:
stop being such a faggot.
That's not nice. Unless of course, you are a faggot. In which case use that term freely.

JK
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Post by Fire_Moose » Mon Oct 18, 2010 12:58 pm

Nah, I meant that as "Being faggy" not "Being gay"


And Dragon Pilot, Unless you have some proof of knowing Hitler that may lead me to believe that you know how he thought, i am disregarding yer post.
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Post by Boijoy » Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:48 pm

awwww.. isis. Let her come to Burning Man.. we are harmless "mostly".
We will take VERY good care of your gal. Heck. She may come home with a few new tricks for ya. :wink:

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Nitevenus
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Post by Nitevenus » Mon Oct 18, 2010 2:05 pm

Ah jeez, Isis, would you make the same comments/questions if your girl was heading to Vegas for the weekend?? You know the saying....

If all of us went to burning man for JUST the drugs, nudity, sex and booze......the event would have burnt (pun intended) out long ago....

Oh, and don't forget to reverse this thinking on yourself......switch the role with you going and not her.....could she trust you??

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