Advice You Shouldn't Give

Questions, answers, tips & tricks for newbies and veterans alike
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theCryptofishist
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Advice You Shouldn't Give

Postby theCryptofishist » Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:00 am

Set up a food stall next to the portapotties.
Bonus points for not getting the inspection.

You and your camp mates will love each other even more if you tie yourselves together all week for your performance piece.

The Playa is a great place for MV Side Shows.

Steal your water from DPW--it's how you become a man of honor, like counting coup.
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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Herring
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Postby Herring » Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:29 am

Don't even bother bringing anything out to the desert, the community loves taking care of mooching hippies like yourself.

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Elderberry
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Postby Elderberry » Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:53 am

Herring wrote:Don't even bother bringing anything out to the desert, the community loves taking care of mooching hippies like yourself.


Ahh yes, the playa will provide.

JK
JK
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http://www.mudskippercafe.com
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

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dragonpilot
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Postby dragonpilot » Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:58 am

Guys...there are chicks galore! And they all have hinged ankles! Sweet!
Don't bore your friends with all your troubles. Tell your enemies instead, for they will delight in hearing about them.

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AntiM
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Postby AntiM » Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:39 pm

If they didn't want you to go through their coolers looking for beer, they would have locked them up.
http://burningman.org/timeline/

Yo, fuckos, do not make me drop a piano on your heads.

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tamarakay
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Postby tamarakay » Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:41 pm

you should DEFINATELY let EVERYONE on eplaya know that you are a dj and you are looking for a gig on the playa. PM all the "long term" burners, they ALL have theme camps that need djs.
When the only tool you got is a hammer, every problem looks like a hippie.

Mmmmmm I love the smell of Burning Man - Token

Getting overly dramatic about the ticket sale process is so 2012. - Maladroit


http://www.dyewithdignity.com

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AntiM
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Postby AntiM » Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:43 pm

The art is meant to be destroyed, you're not vandalizing anything, you're participating.
http://burningman.org/timeline/

Yo, fuckos, do not make me drop a piano on your heads.

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Eric
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Postby Eric » Sat Jan 29, 2011 1:07 pm

There is only one way to do the Burn right. If you don't do it exactly like I tell you then you've done it wrong and don't get it.
It's a camping trip in the desert, not the redemption of the fallen world - Cryptofishist

Eric ShutterSlut
Ass't Editor, BRC Weekly

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Rice
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Postby Rice » Sat Jan 29, 2011 1:07 pm

If someone naked talks to you, they are interested in sex!

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Clar-i-ty
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Postby Clar-i-ty » Sat Jan 29, 2011 1:11 pm

STDs don't exist on the playa. The alkali dust kills them!
GET OUT OF MY TRUCK HIPPIE!

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lucky420
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Postby lucky420 » Sat Jan 29, 2011 2:51 pm

It's easy to join a Theme Camp. Just show up on the day you arrive and make room for yourself no one will mind.

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Sic Pup
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Postby Sic Pup » Sat Jan 29, 2011 3:09 pm

Just wing it, nothing could possibly go wrong.

If you don't want to see naked people wear a welders mask.

Oriental Trading.com has some great gifts....no muss, no fuss.... and cheap too!
"Enjoy every sandwich" - W. Zevon

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ygmir
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Postby ygmir » Sat Jan 29, 2011 3:14 pm

Find anyone with a shirt that says "DPW" (Daily, Paid Workers), they are paid to help you unload and set stuff up. And, if you ask, they can tell you where things are, and at times, will even show you.
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan

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Dr. Pyro
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Postby Dr. Pyro » Sat Jan 29, 2011 3:17 pm

All the women who participate in Critical Tits expect to be photographed, so please use an expensive camera capible of multiple close-ups. Then sell the pictures to "art houses".

Turnip
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Postby Turnip » Sat Jan 29, 2011 3:22 pm

hold this parachute really tight
God Please, don't make me make myself look like a moron...

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Savannah
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Postby Savannah » Sat Jan 29, 2011 3:24 pm

Buy, sell, gift or trade illicit substances with whoever asks!

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Elderberry
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Postby Elderberry » Sat Jan 29, 2011 3:25 pm

Clar-i-ty wrote:STDs don't exist on the playa. The alkali dust kills them!


Thanks for the advice. I didn't know that! :)

JK
JK
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http://www.mudskippercafe.com
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

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BAS
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Postby BAS » Sat Jan 29, 2011 4:11 pm

You don't need to take water with you if you've got alcohol.

There are no undercover cops at BM, so you can get away with ANYTHING as long as no one in a uniform is around.

The more intoxicated/high you are, the better you legal knowledge!
"Nothing is withheld from us which we have conceived to do.
Do things that have never been done."
--Russell Kirsch

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Clar-i-ty
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Postby Clar-i-ty » Sat Jan 29, 2011 4:18 pm

ygmir wrote:Find anyone with a shirt that says "DPW" (Daily, Paid Workers), they are paid to help you unload and set stuff up. And, if you ask, they can tell you where things are, and at times, will even show you.


Love ya Ygmir!
GET OUT OF MY TRUCK HIPPIE!

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Elorrum
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Postby Elorrum » Sat Jan 29, 2011 4:41 pm

If you've never been before, and you don't have a camp you are affiliated with, and you are by yourself, there is plenty of open camping space all around the man.
(this advice was actually given to me with a straight face by my greeter my virgin year.)

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C187
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Postby C187 » Sat Jan 29, 2011 5:21 pm

Elorrum wrote:(this advice was actually given to me with a straight face by my greeter my virgin year.)

That wasn't a Greeter

Those people in the black shirts with skulls or clowns on them you see on your way in can't wait to hug you.. make playa angels with you.. and have your virgins ring the bell. In fact they want you and your party to totally ignore any and all traffic gestures they make at you, and have you all leap out of your car while it's running and in gear. Also if they tell you to put it in park, or to turn it off you should do the complete opposite. After all, what's the worse that can happen?
I have a little bit of Savannah with me. Shhh...

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geospyder
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Postby geospyder » Sat Jan 29, 2011 5:53 pm

The water trucks are labeled Non Potable Water to remind you NOT to use the water in pots. The water is perfectly safe for pans, drinking and showers.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

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mdmf007
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Postby mdmf007 » Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:31 pm

It is going to burn this weekend anyways, why not now?

Law enforcement HAS to tell you if they are a cop.

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AntiM
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Postby AntiM » Sun Jan 30, 2011 4:56 am

Everyone loves fireworks. Shooting flares and fireworks in the air is fun and they are so pretty! Don't worry if they fall on a tent, because someone will give that guy a new one, and people are glad of the burned pinholes because it shows they camped near hardcore burners.

(This year, I overheard on the radio an emergency call to put out a tent this year which had caught on fire from a random flare. Yikes)
http://burningman.org/timeline/

Yo, fuckos, do not make me drop a piano on your heads.

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¡Niers!
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Postby ¡Niers! » Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:09 am

Sic Pup wrote:If you don't want to see naked people wear a welders mask.


I actually find that to be great advice! In fact, perhaps it should be included in the Survival Guide.

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Eric
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Postby Eric » Sun Jan 30, 2011 1:24 pm

People take their time during Exodus because they don't really want to leave the playa. It's totally cool to just cut your way to the front of the line.

Also, don't forget to party your ass off the night before you leave so you have great memories to take with you. You can just toss your camp in the trunk & Exodus is a breeze. You'll be in Reno in an hour & can sleep then.
It's a camping trip in the desert, not the redemption of the fallen world - Cryptofishist

Eric ShutterSlut
Ass't Editor, BRC Weekly

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ibdave
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Postby ibdave » Sun Jan 30, 2011 2:59 pm

Yea, it's ok to use the Harvey Huts in 1st camp... Your ticket paid for it... 8) 8) 8)
I was Born OK the 1st Time....

Don't bring defaultia to Burning Man, take Burning Man to defaultia...... graidawg

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Trishntek
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Postby Trishntek » Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:23 pm

Don't worry about littering, that's what the trash fence is for!

Pee anywhere you like, it's just water!

Cans and bottles are welcome in the JOTS, they recycle them to pay the overhead.

Make sure and put your tent up first, then you'll know where to stake it down according to where the door is and how much space it consumes.

If you get dust in your eyes, just rub them hard and blink,,, they'll be just fine!
RETROFROLIC, the place of Pink, Pain and Pleasure!
http://www.retrofrolic.com
Some call me Tnt,,,, works for me!

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dragonpilot
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Location: Seattle, WA

Postby dragonpilot » Sun Jan 30, 2011 4:17 pm

Always position your generator away from your own camp. Place it closer to someone else's...they won't mind as this is a very easy-going, understanding group of folks.
Don't bore your friends with all your troubles. Tell your enemies instead, for they will delight in hearing about them.

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fbcota
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Postby fbcota » Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:06 am

1. Put on shirt
2. Take off Pants
3. Rock out


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