Discouraged from participating...

[Foxfur]

What do you do when somebody you may be camping
with says you're too excited and that you should not
build anything to bring and plan on just watching from the side?

My first burn? Yup.
It's in my nature to build things, share things, and get involved.

That's pretty much what I told them and they kept coming back
with snarky retorts and general discouragement.
After a long discussion I proposed that we agree to disagree.
Anybody else ever get that?

I have absolutely NO intention of not building and participating and
do not feel that I should have to justify myself.

Now if I was building "DoDzilla" the art car before my 1st burn I'd
understand. I've built the fire poofer and will be building a solar
still. And a life size powder pink foam rubber Hello Kitty AK-47.

I'm not discouraged in the least but am saddened and puzzled by their
nonsensical proposition of passivity. They know I'm a maker and doer.
Makes me think twice about whom I may be camping with.
If I suspect that the rope I'm handed might have an anchor
on the other end, I'm inclined to let go of it lest it drag me down.
But hey, if there's something the playa has plenty of it's space...
I have no qualms about having a camp of one.
Life is too short for narrow mindedness.

Ff

[FIGJAM]

Listen to how everyone says "It cant be done", then do it.=SUCCESS!

[ygmir]

simple :

are you having fun? If yes, you're doing it "right".

no one can make your burn.
it's yours.
Perhaps you will make a mistake, and over commit.
or not.
But, it's YOUR BURN, you do what makes you happy.

Some folks like to tell others how to live, what to do, where to go....etc.
Often, just trying to help. But, it can be overwhelming.

Stick with the simple statement above......all else will take care of it'self.

This, is just my opinion, though.

[gyre]

You may find distractions when you get there.
Lots of fire stuff.

The fire gizmo I think you might enjoy building was brought by new people.

I think they're just looking out for you.
The experience is about choice.

[TomServo]

Do what ever you want. You cant force a person to participate, but maybe they will be inspired to do so. Maybe they're afraid of making fools of themselves....I do it on a daily basis.

[MyDearFriend]

(((Foxfur)))

I have nothing to add to the wisdom and experience above. But, I love your enthusiasm and creativity. You seem like a competent and mature person. I would hate to see you held back.

There may be legitimate concerns, on the part of your campmates, about being held legally liable for the results of your unfettered imaginings. So, a solo camp might be a happier place for you, if you cannot find any like-minded individuals to share shade with. I am sure you will immediately find friends in BRC.

Above all, you should HAVE FUN!

[Packoderm]

This post had me scratching my head. Perhaps those who would wish for you to temper your involvement in Burning Man projects could possibly feel that you might be overextended in default world obligations?


Edited for misspelling - Doh!

[Apox]

^^^ I agree with that post...

[Elderberry]

I pretty much agree with the brilliant minds that have posted before me.

[Foxfur]

This post had me scratching my head. Perhaps those who would wish for you to temper you involvement in Burning Man projects could possibly feel that you might be overextended in default world obligations?

They know I have no job but have considerable savings
that allow me to defer job hunting for a a while without depletion.

I guess I'm just disappointed with a friend who may mean well
but seems to have forgotten who I am. I'm not asking them
to agree with me, just to refrain from shitting on my birthday cake.

It makes me sad and I don't want something as silly and important as
BM to create a rift.

Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it all!

Ff

[Snow]

sounds like you need a new camp

[Trishntek]

Foxfur, from what I've read on your posts, you've been preparing for BurningMan for decades! You just didn't know it at the time. If, like me, you feel like you've finally found your niche, it becomes a "lifestyle". There is rarely a day goes by I'm not doing something for our camp and its many logistics.

Obsessed? probably. Is it a bad thing to find joy and fulfillment from creating something out of bits and pieces to bring joy and wonderment to a community of rare character? HELL NO!

I think you are experiencing a vivid example of participation versus spectating. It is such a joyful experience to be a part of a gathering of the most unpretentious, generous, grateful and happy people I've ever experienced. Personally, I cannot attend without participating and find it difficult to understand the voyeuristic/spectator mentality.

[MyDearFriend]

It is such a joyful experience to be a part of a gathering of the most unpretentious, generous, grateful and happy people I've ever experienced.

This, is why I'm going.

Personally, I cannot attend without participating and find it difficult to understand the voyeuristic/spectator mentality.

This, is how I'm going.



So far, I think I am doing it right; I am having fun!

[Token]

You need new friends. Lots of them out there. Go looking.

[graidawg]

It is such a joyful experience to be a part of a gathering of the most unpretentious, generous, grateful and happy people I've ever experienced.

This, is why I'm going. yea me too

Personally, I cannot attend without participating and find it difficult to understand the voyeuristic/spectator mentality.

This, is how I'm going. damn i hope iget this part as right as MDF is



So far, I think I am doing it right; I am having fun!

i'm having fun too, exce[pt the waiting part can't we swap eplaya and the playa round, eplaya:: burning man for the other week ?

[BBadger]

Build it and bring it. Even if they provide no assistance making it, the least they can do is help you transport it.

Oh, and see if you can find someone else to invite who is as enthused as you are. If the current group of folks you're with are as sticks-in-the-mud on the playa as they are at home you're going to have nobody to go exploring and experiencing with.

[Mojojita]

There is nothing more attractive to me than a man who builds stuff for burning man...... they're jus' jealous

[ygmir]

There is nothing more attractive to me than a man who builds stuff for burning man...... they're jus' jealous

*hopeful*........

[Sail Man]

They know I'm a maker and doer.
Makes me think twice about whom I may be camping with.

You'll be better able to answer that question during, and after this burn. But, do not let them make the decision about what you are or will be doing. And, you can always head off on your own and camp solo, which generally doesn't last long

[capjbadger]

My first year, I built a huge solar still, built a dome, built a swamp cooler and brought a mess of solar panels. Plus a shit ton of tools and stuff.

Yeah, they bitched at first... until everytime something went wrong or broke, I fixed it for them. Yeah, I brought too much. *shrug* But I was comfortable.

You learn what you need and what you don't. Don't worry about it.

Some people go to BM to camp. Some to party. Some to "find themselves".

Us? We build. If not for people like you, BM would be pretty dull.

Do what makes you happy. If they're really friends, they'll understand and back you up.

-Badger

[Simon of the Playa]

There is nothing more attractive to me than a man who builds stuff for burning man...... they're jus' jealous

put on a UPS uniform AND build stuff at the Burn and you'll get more ass than a toilet seat...

[Savannah]

If you need your friend's help, work, consideration or cash in order to get this project done, or they are in any way affected by your decision financially or in terms of liability of some kind, I can understand them having an opinion, including one that's inconvenient. Or, if you have in the past overextended yourself in some way where they can forsee having to take care of you out there emotionally or physically, I can understand their trepidation. Or thirdly, if there are permits you need to get for your project and you don't have them, that could prompt someone to nag you, because they feel pressure to make sure your first Burn goes smoothly and without great disappointments. (Many Burners worry about their virgins past the point of helpfulness. It's hard not to.)

The things experienced Burners have to say about your first Burn ("don't volunteer all your time your first year", for example, or "plan your burn, burn your plan") are said for a reason . . .

But if none of those possibilities are true, you might be facing the fact that they are natural pessimists with perhaps other strengths as friends, but not the people with whom you share big or crazy ideas. If you decide you still want to travel or camp with them, you'll just have to show them your masterpiece, not tell them all about it.

It's even a possible they're a little jealous of your abilities. If this is true, but they have been good friends in the past, try to have compassion for them and don't burn any bridges . . . even as you take pains to protect your burn.

[Trishntek]

There is nothing more attractive to me than a man who builds stuff for burning man...... they're jus' jealous

put on a UPS uniform AND build stuff at the Burn and you'll get more ass than a toilet seat...

lmao! wondering now,,,,, do you speak from experience?

[moonrise]

Savannah, you always seem to give great, well rouned advice. Along with the collective 'hive-mind' of great adive on eplaya; that means everyone else too

My first year I brought too much stuff, including the type of project I could physically handle....it took me several days to pull off what I planned. Earlier in the week, I thought, ugh, it'll never happen and then viola, I figured out where and when and I used some of everything and made every project I brought happen. It worked out very well, so what if it was later in the week. I was glad I brought 'all that stuff'. If you can do so without rocking the boat (for unkown reasons it seems) bring your projects I say!

[Sic Pup]

Only you can gauge your friendship and how much/whether you're willing to compromise. Speaking from experience I would be very wary of someone who doesn't respect your need to burn the way you want to burn. I don't need people like that in my life, nevermind at BM.

I'm doing my own projects and looking forward to going solo this year.

YMMV.

[Dr. Pyro]

I really feel that I should not enter this debate. But here goes. In 2000, everyone in my camp thought the idea of a Barbie Death Camp (admittedly, we only had 11 miserable Barbies and an EZ bake oven) was so stupid that nobody would find the ironic humor in it. Now look at us. We are the most recognizable non-Esplanade theme camp on the playa. So chase your dreams and F*** the rest of them If it fails, who cares? Nobody will remember it anyway. But if it succeeds! Those are things from which legands are sprung.

[Foxfur]

Hot damn! You folks RAWK!

I'm building the poofers, solar still, and hello bad kitty stuff
on my own time & dime , no problems there.

It feels to me like they're concerned but unable to
express it in a way that does not come off as
condescending. Their first burn was somewhat of a catastrophe,
which really is a bummer and I'm sorry that they had to go through
that experience. But you know what? They've had a blast in all
the successive years in which they've attended.
That's a wonderful thing.

It won't ruin my burn, no worries there.
Either he'll understand or he won't and that's out of my control.
We'll get on fine I'm sure.

I am bringing no expectations.
I expect disasters of unknown magnitude and unpredictable significance.
I know without a doubt that I will have left at least
one needed item at home.
I look forward to and relish the adversities that are to come.
That's how we grow.

Thank you to every one of you who've responded.
You've given me the sanity check I needed.
"Participation" simply means different things to different people.
Imagine that
I will tinker with joyous abandon!

Ff

[ygmir]

Hot damn! You folks RAWK!

I'm building the poofers, solar still, and hello bad kitty stuff
on my own time & dime , no problems there.

It feels to me like they're concerned but unable to
express it in a way that does not come off as
condescending. Their first burn was somewhat of a catastrophe,
which really is a bummer and I'm sorry that they had to go through
that experience. But you know what? They've had a blast in all
the successive years in which they've attended.
That's a wonderful thing.

It won't ruin my burn, no worries there.
Either they'll understand or they won't and that's out of my control.
We'll get on fine I'm sure. They've been an important part
of my life for so long. Old couples will have their crotchety days.

I am bringing no expectations.
I expect disasters of unknown magnitude and unpredictable significance.
I know without a doubt that I will have left at least
one needed item at home.
I look forward to and relish the adversities that are to come.
That's how we grow.

Thank you to every one of you who've responded.
You've given me the sanity check I needed.
"Participation" simply means different things to different people.
Imagine that
I will tinker with joyous abandon!

Ff

carry on.

[Snow]

you, sir, rock and sound a lot like me when I was a virgin haha.

also if you need advice on poofers feel free to shoot me a PM

[Token]

If you are self sufficient, worst thing that can happen is you pick up your toys and move across the street.

Just do it!