Tips for Shy People at Burning Man

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Sham
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Re: Tips for Shy People at Burning Man

Postby Sham » Wed Jul 19, 2017 6:56 pm

I'm glad this topic was brought back to life.

So many people suffer from debilitating shyness. It seems 100% insurmountable, and frankly, a place lie Burning Man seems like just the opposite place to shatter that shyness. WRONG!

At Burning Man you can be whoever you want to be. Go into a crowded bar, or a busy theme camp and join the fray. If you're short, wear tall shoes. If you're bald, where a mop of a wig. Wear a tuxedo. Were wedding dress. Wear a skirt. Go nekkid. There will be no one judging you.

Take some time to figure out your ice breaker. A gift, a song, being helpful. What can you offer up to help you crack your phobia?

There are two people who I stumbled upon while on the playa who were dealing with lifelong shyness. I reached into my backpack and led the way to work some crowds. One of these young guys was crazed will glee that he could go up to anyone at a camp and make a new friend. I've seen both again over the years, and their transformation was permanent. They are no longer shy. Burning Man is a crazy place--honest.

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Kelsier
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Re: Burning Man Tips for Shy People

Postby Kelsier » Thu Jul 20, 2017 1:19 pm

swampdog wrote:My one "how to dance" tip is - move your booty. Literally. Listen to the bass line and the drum line of the music. Don't get bothered yet about any lead instrument or melody or singer. Just feel that rhythm. Then move your booty. This is hard for guys, we tend to sway or stomp. But like BBadger says, just rock it like you know how. Don't hump the air now, you know better than that. I suspect that's a big turn off for the ladies. Move it arrrooound and arrrouund. Pretend you're holding a stick between your cheeks and use it to stir a bucket of paint. BIG bucket of paint. Try doing figure eights with your hips. You can do this, it's easy.

Once you get your groove on, start adding in other bits. Let your arm follow a horn riff, or quickstep to a bit of drumming, whatever. If you start to feel like you're flailing, stop. Go back to square one. Feel that beat, feel it deep down and let your booty roll with it.


This is still one of my favorite posts on this forum. I remember reading it to my lady over a year ago and we had great fun stirring that bucket of paint.
It seems that this is my circus, and apparently those are my monkeys.
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Re: Tips for Shy People at Burning Man

Postby swampdog » Thu Jul 20, 2017 6:33 pm

Thanks. Blushing a bit.

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Re: Tips for Shy People at Burning Man

Postby lucky420 » Fri Jul 21, 2017 7:34 am

You can also try writing your name in cursive with your booty...
Oh my god, it's HUGE!

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Re: Tips for Shy People at Burning Man

Postby cranberries » Fri Jul 21, 2017 9:15 am

lucky420 wrote:You can also try writing your name in cursive with your booty...


as long as you're sticking your booty OUT 8) . Whatever you do with your booty, don't stand upright with your cheeks tucked into your spine, bend over some (or a lot) and get that ass down into the beat.

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Re: Tips for Shy People at Burning Man

Postby Skuzzy61 » Fri Aug 11, 2017 8:08 am

Well, turns out I had no problem at all. Not sure why, but I felt really comfortable on the Playa. My Wife said she had never seen me so interactive with people before. I have to admit, it was fun. Met a lot of great people. Even got a few hugs.

I call it a win.
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Re: Tips for Shy People at Burning Man

Postby FlyingMonkey » Fri Aug 11, 2017 11:29 am

Skuzzy61 wrote:Well, turns out I had no problem at all. Not sure why, but I felt really comfortable on the Playa. My Wife said she had never seen me so interactive with people before. I have to admit, it was fun. Met a lot of great people. Even got a few hugs.

I call it a win.


Funny how that happens.

I actually think Burning Man is a great place for shy people who want to come out of their shell because everyone is so overwhelmed by the surroundings (in a good way) & we all seem to have a need to share experiences with others. I think that's very common & even total strangers easily strike up conversations on Playa.

Even when 2 shy people collide it doesn't take much of a catalyst to get them talking. I'm not the greatest conversationalist but a simple "Hey how's it going, did you just see ....." is enough to start a conversation. If you don't know what to say then try complimenting someone. People like validation that the outfit they stressed out about is well received by fellow Burners. Try something like "Hey, I really like your feather boa robot costume. Those sequin boots are to die for". Ok, bad example but you get the point. If you see someone with increasable boots or something then let them know. "OMG, I love those boots. Did you make them?" If they did then they are no doubt proud of them & will want to talk about them. If they didn't then it's still not the end of the conversation. "well there awesome, I wish I had an eye for putting an outfit that nice together".

Talking should be natural and effortless but it isn't easy for everyone. Just talking to strangers is a huge accomplishment for shy people, but it's so easy at Burning Man.
Try:
- Complementing someone or saying something nice that will elicit a response.
- Ask a question "Do you know where X is?", "Have you seen X yet?", "How's your Burn going? What's the coolest thing you've seen so far?"
- Offer something "Man it's hot, would you like a bottle of water?", "Do you like beer? Wanna try a tequila double IPA I made?", "My Zorb is incredibly large would you like to try it" (Ok, there's only 1 person on Playa who can use that).
- There are people from all over the world at Burning Man "I love your accent, where are you from?"
- Take inexpensive but useful things & offer them to people that may need them. "Wow, look at that dust storm heading this way. I have a bunch of dust masks, would you like one?"

In person I can be a real introvert so I have to do things like this to get out & be engaged.

Keep an eye out for campmates that may be on there own & include them in your travels. They may be too shy to venture out on there own too. "Hey, I'm too shy to check all this out on my own. Want to join me?"

And always remember that there are hundreds of other shy people on the Playa just like you.

(Edit: Smile a lot! you are more approachable when you are smiling)
In your wildest dreams you can not imagine the marvelous SURPRISES that await YOU.

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Re: Tips for Shy People at Burning Man

Postby Skuzzy61 » Fri Aug 11, 2017 11:48 am

My Wife never met a stranger so she was dragging me all over, but I akin what happened to what happens whenever we go anywhere.

I have a tendency to through myself into the culture when we travel. I am not there just to observe, I am there to become part of it. It is an odd thing. At home, I would rather stay in the house and watch a good movie than go to some party at someone's home.

It did not occur to me I would react like I do when we travel. Probably due to Burning Man being a foreign environment. :)
I really would like to change the world, but I do not have access to the source code!
Duct tape is like "The Force"! It has a dark and a light side, and holds the universe together!

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tatonka
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Re: Tips for Shy People at Burning Man

Postby tatonka » Sat Aug 12, 2017 9:18 pm

I like Ralph's line " do you like stuff" breaks the ice every time ")

" Make me strong , not to be superiour to my brothers , to fight my greatest enemy ....... myself . " Chief Dan George .

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Re: Tips for Shy People at Burning Man

Postby markusze » Sat Aug 12, 2017 9:39 pm

Find a kissing booth that needs a host or a bar that needs a bartender and act like it is your job to interact with people. Easy peasy.


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