HELP MY HUBBY & I ARE NEWBIES!!!!!

Questions, answers, tips & tricks for newbies and veterans alike
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THUMPER
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HELP MY HUBBY & I ARE NEWBIES!!!!!

Post by THUMPER » Tue Aug 24, 2004 2:23 pm

Just a few curiosity questions:

1. Realizing the chemical usage will be at a "high" at BM, are we "outsiders" if we do not partake. Consuming alcohol is wonderful for me...but consuming other stimulants is not my thing. I don't want to be a drag....but I dont want that kind of pressure to ruin my good time either.

2. I have read alot about LCD spraying....is this something to be worried about? As mentioned I am not into that kind of activity (not to sound like a prude...cuz I am not by any means).

3. Is this a good event for a husband and wife...we are open minded and excitedly curious about this upcoming week...but a little nervous...not knowing what to expect. We have never been outside our married "boundaries". But are willing to keep a very open mind. Or is this more catered to the single lifestyles.

4. Dress: do you need to dress hippish to feel like you fit? Or just be who you are?

5. Obviously I am a bit of a worry wart...just want to have a blast with no regrets later. Any suggestions for a happily married couple leaving two kids at home to come next week would really help ease my fears. Thanks everyone!!!

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theCryptofishist
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Re: HELP MY HUBBY & I ARE NEWBIES!!!!!

Post by theCryptofishist » Tue Aug 24, 2004 2:36 pm

THUMPER wrote:Just a few curiosity questions:

1. Realizing the chemical usage will be at a "high" at BM, are we "outsiders" if we do not partake. Consuming alcohol is wonderful for me...but consuming other stimulants is not my thing. I don't want to be a drag....but I dont want that kind of pressure to ruin my good time either.

2. I have read alot about LCD spraying....is this something to be worried about? As mentioned I am not into that kind of activity (not to sound like a prude...cuz I am not by any means).

3. Is this a good event for a husband and wife...we are open minded and excitedly curious about this upcoming week...but a little nervous...not knowing what to expect. We have never been outside our married "boundaries". But are willing to keep a very open mind. Or is this more catered to the single lifestyles.

4. Dress: do you need to dress hippish to feel like you fit? Or just be who you are?

5. Obviously I am a bit of a worry wart...just want to have a blast with no regrets later. Any suggestions for a happily married couple leaving two kids at home to come next week would really help ease my fears. Thanks everyone!!!
1--As in any city of the size, usage varies. Many people don't even drink, so don't worry about manditory mind alterations.

2--Probably not a problem. They seem to go after quasi-authority figures. If it does happen, there's a chill tent if you need that and the medics can help you if needed. Be aware of the date rape drugs--but as a couple, I'm assuming that will cut down on that danger.

3--Fine event for husband and wife. Swinging not manditory, many people find the event so interesting and the dust so omnipresent that they dont' even bother with sex. You may get approached by cuties and that may cause tension between you. Deal with that in the same way you do in the rest of the world.

4--Dress how you feel. Warm enough at night, cool enough in the day, plenty of sunscreen, if you want drop by a costume camp and get outfitted, Wear blinkies or glow sticks or el wire at night so you don't get run over.

5--Memorize this statement: It's all good. Just keep saying it: It's all good.

THUMPER
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Post by THUMPER » Tue Aug 24, 2004 2:41 pm

Thanks alot! Very helpful info. I am not worried about the hotties out there. He is worried about me (he he he) out there. Like I said we are open minded about it.

I live by your motto.....It definitely is ALL GOOD!

Thanks again!

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Dork
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Post by Dork » Tue Aug 24, 2004 3:14 pm

I've never gotten any grief when saying "no thanks" when offered something. Even the most hard core users out there understand that not everyone wants to be high 24/7.

There was a whole thread about LSD spraying.. consensus seems to be if it does happen it would be extremely rare due to cost. Something may get dropped in a drink, so if you don't feel comfortable about the person giving it to you don't drink it. You can also ask the person what's in the drink and most will tell you honestly.

Many if not most people go there with a significant other. No problem.

Don't wear anything with big corporate logos like Nike or Raiders, and don't wear anything overly preppy and you'll be ok. Wear costumes or don't. Just be comfortable with yourself.

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rodent
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Re: HELP MY HUBBY & I ARE NEWBIES!!!!!

Post by rodent » Tue Aug 24, 2004 3:22 pm

THUMPER wrote:Just a few curiosity questions:

1. Realizing the chemical usage will be at a "high" at BM, are we "outsiders" if we do not partake. Consuming alcohol is wonderful for me...but consuming other stimulants is not my thing. I don't want to be a drag....but I dont want that kind of pressure to ruin my good time either.
I only drank beer all last year. Mind alterations can enhance your experience and could detract from it. Sometimes at the same time. Don't do anything you don't want to do. I've never felt pressure to partake in any substance use and would find it very unlikely that the two of you would.

My sister died from peer pressure, she was under a warf when it collapsed. :)
THUMPER wrote: 2. I have read alot about LCD spraying....is this something to be worried about? As mentioned I am not into that kind of activity (not to sound like a prude...cuz I am not by any means).
Reports are overexagerated. It is not a common occurrence and you shouldn't need to worry about it.
THUMPER wrote: 3. Is this a good event for a husband and wife...we are open minded and excitedly curious about this upcoming week...but a little nervous...not knowing what to expect. We have never been outside our married "boundaries". But are willing to keep a very open mind. Or is this more catered to the single lifestyles.
See #1. Same thing. Only do things that the both of you feel comfortable doing. Keep your lines of communication open and expressive. BM could potentially strengthen your relationship and allow you to grow closer BUT BM has been responsible for as many breakups as marriages. Also, just don't worry about it. There are lots more things to do than just sex.
THUMPER wrote: 4. Dress: do you need to dress hippish to feel like you fit? Or just be who you are?
I've only got one costume and only plan to wear it a couple of times. There is no "fitting in" on the playa, do what you fucking WANT to do, not what you think others expect. If you want to wear jeans and a t-shirt... fuckit... if you want to run around naked with a lit road flair up you butt... it's your Burningman experience.
THUMPER wrote: 5. Obviously I am a bit of a worry wart...just want to have a blast with no regrets later. Any suggestions for a happily married couple leaving two kids at home to come next week would really help ease my fears. Thanks everyone!!!
siddown... have a brew... relax... you're with friends...worry more about dehydration than anything you listed.

---
rodent (putting the eek in geek)

Lostfolio
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Post by Lostfolio » Tue Aug 24, 2004 3:33 pm

1. You wil be required to shoot heronine into your eyes, between your toes and into your gentials before being allowed into BRC

2. Everyone is sprayed with LSD daily. That's what the big trucks with all the naked people behind them are for.

3. You and your husband will be seperated after your heroine injections anyou will both be forced to sleep with as many people as possible. They will all be covered with gorgonzola

4. I hope for your sake that you've already purchased and pressed your BRC uniforms.

5. You should be fine. Just relax and have fun.
Love pussy, hate Bush

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coyone
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Post by coyone » Tue Aug 24, 2004 3:49 pm

sarcasm control issues...have fun...
May your days be golden and your nights be a ragin'...

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rodent
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Post by rodent » Tue Aug 24, 2004 4:11 pm

Lostfolio!!! SHHHHH!!! Don't let on... It's suppose to be a surprise... we had them completely fooled... They were buying it!!!

---
rodent (putting the eek in geek)

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shitmouse
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Re: HELP MY HUBBY & I ARE NEWBIES!!!!!

Post by shitmouse » Tue Aug 24, 2004 4:14 pm

THUMPER wrote:Just a few curiosity questions:

1. Realizing the chemical usage will be at a "high" at BM, are we "outsiders" if we do not partake. Consuming alcohol is wonderful for me...but consuming other stimulants is not my thing. I don't want to be a drag....but I dont want that kind of pressure to ruin my good time either.

2. I have read alot about LCD spraying....is this something to be worried about? As mentioned I am not into that kind of activity (not to sound like a prude...cuz I am not by any means).

3. Is this a good event for a husband and wife...we are open minded and excitedly curious about this upcoming week...but a little nervous...not knowing what to expect. We have never been outside our married "boundaries". But are willing to keep a very open mind. Or is this more catered to the single lifestyles.

4. Dress: do you need to dress hippish to feel like you fit? Or just be who you are?

5. Obviously I am a bit of a worry wart...just want to have a blast with no regrets later. Any suggestions for a happily married couple leaving two kids at home to come next week would really help ease my fears. Thanks everyone!!!

answers:

1) no way, you'll be fine. it's a smart event.

2) no sprays. i've never seen nor heard of blind dosings. not the vibe at all. generally, people are very responsible.

3) i wouldn't say singles vs. married by any means. there's lots of love going on in all directions. many couples, of all orientation.

4) i'd say contribute in any way you can. something funny always works, let your flag shine baby. have fun, be comfortable.

5) obviously your kids will be well attended to at home by the plans you laid down prior to the event, so they'll be ok. anything can happen at any time as well in life. if you feel that you would stress too much and it would be eating at you, then be prepared for that. otherwise have a fun time and let the week out there be something your stoked to be a part of.

-(and put a shade structure over your tent)...
-b
=-=-= \<>/ =-=-=

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Badger
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Post by Badger » Tue Aug 24, 2004 7:24 pm

Just a few curiosity questions:

1. Realizing the chemical usage will be at a "high" at BM, are we "outsiders" if we do not partake. Consuming alcohol is wonderful for me...but consuming other stimulants is not my thing. I don't want to be a drag....but I dont want that kind of pressure to ruin my good time either.

2. I have read alot about LCD spraying....is this something to be worried about? As mentioned I am not into that kind of activity (not to sound like a prude...cuz I am not by any means).

3. Is this a good event for a husband and wife...we are open minded and excitedly curious about this upcoming week...but a little nervous...not knowing what to expect. We have never been outside our married "boundaries". But are willing to keep a very open mind. Or is this more catered to the single lifestyles.

4. Dress: do you need to dress hippish to feel like you fit? Or just be who you are?

5. Obviously I am a bit of a worry wart...just want to have a blast with no regrets later. Any suggestions for a happily married couple leaving two kids at home to come next week would really help ease my fears. Thanks everyone!!!
Several of your questions suggest - to me at least - that what any of us think/feel about what you and your husband do/don't do might be the basis of how much of a good time you'll have/not have.

Why not forget what the hell any of US think and do what YOU think you need to do in order to have a good time. Honestly, its the best place I can think of to start in insuring that YOUR experience is not corroded by YOUR perception of what WE think about YOUR experience.

Now stop being a poopie and go have some fun.
Desert dogs drink deep.

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theCryptofishist
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Post by theCryptofishist » Thu Aug 26, 2004 9:27 am

I'd take Badger to the crush thread, but I'm afraid Iso would beat me up.

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safetythird
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Post by safetythird » Thu Aug 26, 2004 10:23 am

Regarding Question #3:

Talk to each other before going and define what your boundries are. Talk about what situations may cause you to shift those boundries and have a "safe word" or comment that indicates that one of you isn't comfortable with what's going on and you two need to discuss it. Remember that NO means NO, no matter where you're at. Always ask to touch, kiss, etc. AND (maybe most importantly) remember that you are partners and no matter what happens you will be going home with your partner because you love each other. Never let your partner feel left out or ignored.

These are general guidlines, not just for BM, but for any couple who may be feeling a bit open minded. :wink:

We're newbies too but we've had some experience in the Lifestyle so we don't feel threatened at all. In fact we're thinking that maybe BM may be less stressful (from that stand point) than many other parties we've gone to. But then again, what do we know, we haven't been yet.

Take care,

Safety Third!

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Burp!
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Post by Burp! » Thu Aug 26, 2004 9:46 pm

I hate to be a nay sayer, but here goes

1. Having never done drugs before BM I thought I'd be fine. One night someone slipped something into my drink and it was the best 10 hours I ever had. The colors!!!!! Now I partake quite frequently and hope to kick the drugs soon. After this year that is.

2. See 1

3. My marriage didn't survive BM 2000. That's all I want to say about that.

4. Sure be yourself, if you don't mind being considered a freak among the freaks

5. As for the kids and your experience, ignore the above and prepare to have a blast!!!!

NF

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