Hear me out: ... bedpan

Questions, answers, tips & tricks for newbies and veterans alike
Post Reply
User avatar
dog on the playa
Posts: 41
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:39 pm
Burning Since: 2004
Camp Name: Black Rock Kennel

Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by dog on the playa » Thu Jul 28, 2016 9:33 am

No one likes talking about it but it's the best part of Burning Man, thus I'm flummoxed. The topic: Having to use the facilities in the middle of the night when all you want to do is sleep. Sure, there's the gallon jug or bucket, etc., but you have to be in some sort of upright position to use them. The hose experiment met with disastrous results, although I'm still sure that can somehow work---the technology is just not here yet. So: I'm in the store today and I just happened to come across the **bedpans**. Now, I've never used one but it sure looks like you don't have to sit up OR ANYTHING to engage them in you know what and so forth. Although, like the bucket, there's an odor problem. Unlike the bucket, though, there's a containment shelf and it's difficult to knock them over.

Just getting more ready by the minute. That's all.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

User avatar
Chowski
Posts: 302
Joined: Fri May 18, 2012 2:35 pm
Burning Since: 2009

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by Chowski » Thu Jul 28, 2016 9:53 am

That sounds like a lot of hassle, buying a bedpan and carrying it in and out of the tent to empty it and clean it? Pshaw! My plan is much simpler: pooping in my pants while I sleep. Not only need I not arise from my bed, I need not even awaken from my K hole. In the morning, simply change pants (something I would probably have done anyway, roll up the previous night's diaper, and on my way out to the playa for the day, simply gift the entire bundle into the bed of some porto-dependent fool's pickup truck. Ah, easy living.

User avatar
VultureChow
Posts: 2328
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2011 4:08 pm
Burning Since: 2012
Camp Name: Hookers & Makers @ Barbie Death Village

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by VultureChow » Thu Jul 28, 2016 9:58 am

Catheter Camp is another option.
Sic Semper Spectatores

User avatar
Jackass
Posts: 1971
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:25 pm
Location: way out in left field

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by Jackass » Thu Jul 28, 2016 9:59 am

Ouch, that's going to hurt!
Sooner or later, it will get real strange...

11th Principle: Depussyfication - Keeping Burning Man potentially lethal. Token

User avatar
Ratty
Posts: 5846
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2011 6:43 pm
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Tiger Man

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by Ratty » Thu Jul 28, 2016 10:09 am

Chowski where do you camp? (thanks for the smile)
Those aren't buttermilk biscuits I'm lying on Savannah

Pictures or it didn't happen Greycoyote

Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Arthur Schopenhauer

User avatar
mudpuppy000
Posts: 1552
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:54 pm
Burning Since: 2009
Camp Name: THE BELLIGERENT GAP
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by mudpuppy000 » Thu Jul 28, 2016 10:51 am

Pooping while laying down,
into a shallow pan,
in your sleeping bag,
on an air mattress,
in the dark,
what could go wrong?

User avatar
dog on the playa
Posts: 41
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:39 pm
Burning Since: 2004
Camp Name: Black Rock Kennel

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by dog on the playa » Thu Jul 28, 2016 11:08 am

mudpuppy000 wrote:Pooping while laying down,
into a shallow pan,
in your sleeping bag,
on an air mattress,
in the dark,
what could go wrong?
Just looking for answers... you didn't want that air mattress anyway.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

User avatar
dog on the playa
Posts: 41
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:39 pm
Burning Since: 2004
Camp Name: Black Rock Kennel

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by dog on the playa » Thu Jul 28, 2016 11:11 am

Chowski wrote:That sounds like a lot of hassle, buying a bedpan and carrying it in and out of the tent to empty it and clean it? Pshaw! My plan is much simpler: pooping in my pants while I sleep. Not only need I not arise from my bed, I need not even awaken from my K hole. In the morning, simply change pants (something I would probably have done anyway, roll up the previous night's diaper, and on my way out to the playa for the day, simply gift the entire bundle into the bed of some porto-dependent fool's pickup truck. Ah, easy living.
You bring a lot of positives things to the table, food for thought. The city is stronger because of your presence, imo.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

User avatar
trilobyte
Site Admin
Posts: 16751
Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2004 10:54 pm
Burning Since: 2004
Camp Name: Eridu Society
Location: San Francisco
Contact:

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by trilobyte » Thu Jul 28, 2016 11:33 am

I'm moving this to the Q&A board, since that's a better fit for general preparation discussions (the Stories board is intended more for the posting of pics, videos, and stories from the event).

That does sound like some seriously weapons-grade laziness, though. I can't say I've ever used one or even considered the idea. I know a few people who've either done a porto in their village or used a bucket, and yeah I routinely find myself having to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night... but it has not yet struck me as that much of a bother.

You could probably also look into the idea of adult diapers. Sure, they're marketed to people with bladder control issues and the incontinent, but I imagine it's all just as valid for people who just can't be bothered to get up and go to the toilet. You'd probably want to tie off the used diaper trash bag to keep odors at bay, and then just pack it out with you when you leave.

User avatar
mudpuppy000
Posts: 1552
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:54 pm
Burning Since: 2009
Camp Name: THE BELLIGERENT GAP
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by mudpuppy000 » Thu Jul 28, 2016 1:29 pm

Yeah bring lots of diaper rash cream too when you sit in a filthy diaper all night. :D

User avatar
dog on the playa
Posts: 41
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:39 pm
Burning Since: 2004
Camp Name: Black Rock Kennel

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by dog on the playa » Thu Jul 28, 2016 1:32 pm

trilobyte wrote:I'm moving this to the Q&A board, since that's a better fit for general preparation discussions (the Stories board is intended more for the posting of pics, videos, and stories from the event).

That does sound like some seriously weapons-grade laziness, though. I can't say I've ever used one or even considered the idea. I know a few people who've either done a porto in their village or used a bucket, and yeah I routinely find myself having to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night... but it has not yet struck me as that much of a bother.

You could probably also look into the idea of adult diapers. Sure, they're marketed to people with bladder control issues and the incontinent, but I imagine it's all just as valid for people who just can't be bothered to get up and go to the toilet. You'd probably want to tie off the used diaper trash bag to keep odors at bay, and then just pack it out with you when you leave.
Adult diapers? Good idea but Chowski kinda already covered that. And this is simple reactor-grade laziness. Some of us have tiny little bladders that must be emptied on an hourly basis, not manly tanker bladders that put camels to shame. We should all be welcome on the playa... with our---RUBBER BLADDERS WITH ***WATERTIGHT*** PENIS-ATTACHMENT VACUUM HOSES. Lock the thread.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

maladroit
Posts: 2334
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 10:37 pm
Burning Since: 2012

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by maladroit » Thu Jul 28, 2016 2:55 pm

At least this thread reminded me to make extra sure the med kit has Imodium.

User avatar
mudpuppy000
Posts: 1552
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:54 pm
Burning Since: 2009
Camp Name: THE BELLIGERENT GAP
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by mudpuppy000 » Thu Jul 28, 2016 3:52 pm

Hmmmm, I bet you could rig up something with a shop vac and a toilet plunger. :D Hell that could be a theme camp.
Last edited by mudpuppy000 on Thu Jul 28, 2016 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
BBadger
Posts: 5805
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:37 am
Burning Since: 2010
Location: (near) Portland, OR, USA

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by BBadger » Thu Jul 28, 2016 3:52 pm

If you happen to have a few spare massage tables around, and I know we all do, you can rig it up so you can just piss right through one of those face-cradles. You probably ought to label which one you used for that though.

It's also pretty convenient while someone is giving you a massage!
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens

Hate reading my replies? Click here to add me to your plonk (foe) list.

User avatar
dog on the playa
Posts: 41
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:39 pm
Burning Since: 2004
Camp Name: Black Rock Kennel

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by dog on the playa » Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:02 pm

trilobyte wrote:I'm moving this to the Q&A board, since that's a better fit for general preparation discussions (the Stories board is intended more for the posting of pics, videos, and stories from the event).
If I told a story about a bedpan, could we -would we- move it back?
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

User avatar
Jackass
Posts: 1971
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:25 pm
Location: way out in left field

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by Jackass » Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:07 pm

BBadger wrote:If you happen to have a few spare massage tables around, and I know we all do, you can rig it up so you can just piss right through one of those face-cradles. You probably ought to label which one you used for that though.

It's also pretty convenient while someone is giving you a massage!
Massage table glory hole!
Sooner or later, it will get real strange...

11th Principle: Depussyfication - Keeping Burning Man potentially lethal. Token

User avatar
dog on the playa
Posts: 41
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:39 pm
Burning Since: 2004
Camp Name: Black Rock Kennel

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by dog on the playa » Sun Jul 31, 2016 3:38 pm

Ok-ok-ok, 'new' idea. Urinal cake in the big-mouth Gatorade bottle. Everyone, feel free to use and enjoy.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

User avatar
Doctor VonBacon
Posts: 108
Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2013 3:05 pm
Burning Since: 2013
Location: Somewhere in Time

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by Doctor VonBacon » Sun Jul 31, 2016 4:06 pm

Of course, there is a much simpler solution :

Government Cheese.

There will be a few here among us who will remember eating "Gubberment Cheese" way back in school or whatever. The kind that came in blocks as long as a Buick, with a U.S. government seal on it.

If my memory and calculations are correct, eating 5-6 slices of this cheese will leave you unable to poop for the entire week, and thus negating the need for a bedpan or adult diaper.

Besides, it used to make REALLY good grilled cheese sammiches....
I like eggs.

User avatar
ygmir
Posts: 29224
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq
Location: nevada county

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by ygmir » Sun Jul 31, 2016 9:37 pm

mudpuppy000 wrote:Hmmmm, I bet you could rig up something with a shop vac and a toilet plunger. :D Hell that could be a theme camp.
*paging Figjam*
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan

User avatar
FIGJAM
Posts: 10071
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:39 am
Location: apache junction az.

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by FIGJAM » Sun Jul 31, 2016 10:54 pm

Wanna see my sketches???
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me

User avatar
mudpuppy000
Posts: 1552
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:54 pm
Burning Since: 2009
Camp Name: THE BELLIGERENT GAP
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by mudpuppy000 » Mon Aug 01, 2016 10:20 am

"Poop like an Astronaut!"

User avatar
ygmir
Posts: 29224
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq
Location: nevada county

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by ygmir » Mon Aug 01, 2016 3:11 pm

mudpuppy000 wrote:"Poop like an Astronaut!"
poop like an Egyptian.
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan

User avatar
illy dilly
Posts: 4900
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 11:02 am
Burning Since: 2009
Camp Name: Gnome Dome
Location: Denver, CO

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by illy dilly » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:42 pm

I thought Steve Martin wrote that song?

Image
:lol:
Why don't ya stick your head in that hole and find out? ~piehole
Plan for the worst, expect the best. Make the most out of it under any conditions. If you cannot do that you will never enjoy yourself. ~CrispyDave

User avatar
dog on the playa
Posts: 41
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:39 pm
Burning Since: 2004
Camp Name: Black Rock Kennel

Re: Hear me out: ... bedpan

Post by dog on the playa » Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:22 pm

mudpuppy000 wrote:"Poop like an Astronaut!"
I know I was advocating for being able to poop instead of having to get up---but I'm usually good about holding that (---IN MA HANDS. No-no, that's disgusting). If I can get a solid five with a pee break somewhere in there, I should be fine. But I would like the vacuum hose for that.

Anyone ever fallen asleep in a port-a-potty? I bet if it was freshly cleaned it wouldn't be that bad. Have to be at night, too, you'd roast during the day.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Post Reply

Return to “Q & A Tips and Tricks”