your stupid joke here

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Canoe
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Canoe » Wed Jun 17, 2020 5:51 am

I was there at night and this guy comes up pulls up his sleeve and he is wearing like 5 high end watches and offers to sell me a 600 dollar Bulova watch for 130 dollars. That's not that high end but way more than i would spend on something i never wear. I tell him no and he drops the price to 90$. I say no again and he gets upset telling me im crazy for passing up a deal like that as he knows that its a 600$ watch because he stole it from that shop over there and he points to a shop that is about 30 meters away.
4.669
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

DoctorIknow
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by DoctorIknow » Wed Jun 17, 2020 8:02 am

Canoe wrote:
Wed Jun 17, 2020 5:51 am
I was there at night and this guy comes up pulls up his sleeve and he is wearing like 5 high end watches and offers to sell me a 600 dollar Bulova watch for 130 dollars. That's not that high end but way more than i would spend on something i never wear. I tell him no and he drops the price to 90$. I say no again and he gets upset telling me im crazy for passing up a deal like that as he knows that its a 600$ watch because he stole it from that shop over there and he points to a shop that is about 30 meters away.
I was an "Ordinary Seaman," 19yr.old, on a merchant ship, and at a port somewhere, some guy came crawling out of the hold and opened his jacket which had watches hanging on it...just like in the movies. There was a beautiful Bulova, and I bargained him down (as if!). Took it to my cabin and admired it. Turned it over and the back was really cheap steel. Held it to my ear and the tic tic sounded like a tin can rolling slowly down a hill. Looked at the front and it was a Boliva, not a Bulova. Opened the porthole and tossed it, pissed of at myself but knowing right away it was a very cheap lesson that would serve me well in the future...

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Canoe
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Canoe » Mon Jul 06, 2020 10:17 pm

Guy nearly died...

Split in different countries due to COVID-19, a guy reports his girlfriend had her 35th birthday without them together. She decided to go out to a recently re-opened bar/restaurant and ordered a glass of wine. Sipping the wine in the evening breeze, she mentions to the waiter that it's her birthday. He appeared to think she was hoping for a discount on the somewhat expensive wine, and said "We'll top you up a few times". Then he winked at her when he said, "Besides, you don't look a day over 35."
4.669
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

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Simon of the Playa
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Re: your stupid pompeo here

Post by Simon of the Playa » Fri Jul 10, 2020 4:06 am

mike is a fucking joke.

and it’s not even funny.


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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Thu Jul 16, 2020 6:37 am

Lately when I go out for supply's, wearing my mask, if I get any greeting, I cheerfully reply loud enough to hear "maw fwa na boo ray".

So far it gets a laugh every time. :lol:
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Simon of the Playa
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Re: your fucking hilarious joke here

Post by Simon of the Playa » Fri Jul 17, 2020 4:41 am

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Simon of the Playa
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Simon of the Playa » Mon Jul 20, 2020 2:07 pm

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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by lucky420 » Mon Jul 20, 2020 3:17 pm

^^^ yep biggest joke ever
Oh my god, it's HUGE!

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Simon of the Playa
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Simon of the Playa » Tue Jul 21, 2020 2:20 pm

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Popeye
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Popeye » Thu Sep 17, 2020 11:44 am

Don't open an email with the title "Knock Knock".

It's a Jehovahs Witness working from home.
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Miura-7 » Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:14 pm

As the presidential physician walked toward the podium carrying a gallon of bleach. He cleared his throat, and said. "He didn't make it."

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Canoe
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Canoe » Fri Oct 30, 2020 9:07 pm

Officer 'Bubba' Bobby - Voted best officer for roaming backup car.
.
Officer 'Bubba' Bobby - voted best officer for roaming backup car.jpg
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4.669
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

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Canoe
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Canoe » Mon Dec 28, 2020 2:47 pm

Note to self:
When using a new technology paint remover on car parts, trying that out in the bathtub to catch drips makes sense - if the bathtub hadn't been refinished by spray-painting.
4.669
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

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Simon of the Playa
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Simon of the Playa » Mon Jan 25, 2021 5:00 am

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lucky420
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by lucky420 » Mon Jan 25, 2021 7:25 am

QANON

People follow and truly believe in Q

That’s my joke ^
Oh my god, it's HUGE!

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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by MarkSabier14 » Thu Jan 28, 2021 3:59 am

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

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lucky420
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by lucky420 » Sat Jan 30, 2021 6:52 am

imho your racist joke isn’t funny. ^^
Oh my god, it's HUGE!

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Canoe
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Canoe » Sat Jan 30, 2021 12:51 pm

lucky420 wrote:
Sat Jan 30, 2021 6:52 am
imho your racist joke isn’t funny. ^^
But we can leave it there as a reminder of who he works for...
4.669
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

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lucky420
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by lucky420 » Sun Jan 31, 2021 7:28 am

Canoe wrote:
Sat Jan 30, 2021 12:51 pm
lucky420 wrote:
Sat Jan 30, 2021 6:52 am
imho your racist joke isn’t funny. ^^
But we can leave it there as a reminder of who he works for...
But of course.
Oh my god, it's HUGE!

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sonofson
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by sonofson » Thu Apr 15, 2021 12:52 am

I don't know if this has been written before or not, but I like this joke: D

-What's 72?
-69 with three people watching.

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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by ^Rhino! » Thu Apr 15, 2021 6:51 am

I actually told my former supervisor from work that for the last 5 years I was an addict.

i was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned my life around.

It caught him off guard, and then he groaned almost as if he was in mortal pain.
My work was done.
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by lucky420 » Mon Apr 19, 2021 6:20 pm

frankspeech.com

Cum stained pillow guy’s website is up and running. Lots of Q theories
Oh my god, it's HUGE!

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lucky420
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by lucky420 » Mon Apr 19, 2021 9:25 pm

lucky420 wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 6:20 pm
frankspeech.com

Cum stained pillow guy’s website is up and running. Lots of Q theories
Welp that was graphic. Sorry to offend here :coffee:

It’s been a week already
Oh my god, it's HUGE!

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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by ^Rhino! » Fri Apr 23, 2021 5:32 am

What do you do if you're facing an elephant with three balls?

Walk the elephant and pitch to the rhino.
Rue Morgue - '08, '09
Black Rock Beacon - '2010, 2012-2016
(lux, veritas, lardum)
Bacon is forever. Veni, vidi, pertudi. (We came, we saw, we DRILLED.) - BRC Div. of Geology 2009-2015
I'm here until the serendipitous synchronicity is ubiquitous.

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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Elliot » Sat May 08, 2021 4:37 pm

Not a joke at all, except on the intellectual level. But it is too good not to share, somehow. And of course, stupididity is certainly present.
This is someone's signature blurb on an unrelated forum:

"I Thank God That He Gifted Me with Common Sense"
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