PAGE TWO

[theCryptofishist]

Please, don't feed me to the seals when they get things right.

[theCryptofishist]

Ah, one more reason the words "Welcome Home" make me throw up in my mouth a little...

[AntiM]

Concise. I can get behind that.

[Sic Pup]

Now there's an idea, offer up mom's spare bedroom and her services as chauffeur/tour guide/entertainment director to total strangers in exchange for your lodging.

I guess it's not that difficult to mistake "serving" for "reliant". After all they both contain seven letters four of which are identical.

[Jackass]

Bunch o' sniveling pussies.









Not fair, button doesn't work, scalpers gaming the system, no one's doing their job, friend of a friend's brother unable to log on, Larry loves fucking with us... when will they just get it right?

[FossaFerox]

I'm looking for a valid, full price ticket to this year's burn. Go look for me. Possibly in the section of the forums intended for this kind of thing...

[Ratty]

When sharks smell blood they circle first. Eplayans just grab a stick and whack your junk. Some people are just looking for a weak newbie, (or a typo).

[Ugly Dougly]

Some of us are meant to remain in Defaultia forever.

[shroom]

I usually don't read the ticket begging posts, but there seems to be a lot this year.

[tamarakay]

I do believe there are quite a few BLAMMOs in our future.

[Joeln]

Someone tell me that I'm not the only one to have this response to the word "bucketlist" (throw up in my mouth a little).
uhh What does BLAMMO stand for?

[theCryptofishist]

Someone tell me that I'm not the only one to have this response to the word "bucketlist" (throw up in my mouth a little).
uhh What does BLAMMO stand for?

Totally not the one. "Yeah, Burningman. I went once. Another notch on my Bucket List. Went swimming with the dolphins at New Age Aquarium, too. Jumped out of a plane, the whole enchilada. Hobbies? I don't have any hobbies. Too busy working on my bucket list. I bought it on-line from eBay..."

(and I'm just here with my fingers in my ears going shut up shut up shut up!)

[tamarakay]

BLAMMOs is when some poor hippie wanders in trying to manifest a burn and some of the regulars BLAMMO! All over them.

[theCryptofishist]

... neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire.

[theCryptofishist]

Of all the threads in all the sub-fora in all the board, you had to walk into mine.

[trilobyte]

Here's the ticket scorekeeping chart for 2014. It's a simple copy from a previous year's list, and may be updated as necessary.

Scoring chart

Desperation level:
- "Must" go this year + 25pt
- "need" + 20pt (each)
- Use of "desperate" + 20pt
- The universe is telling them to go + 50pt
Keywords (each use):
- "miracle" + 50pt
- "pray" + 10pt
- "love" + 25pt
- "dream" + 10pt
- "hoping" + 10pt
- "connect" / "reconnect" + 50pt
- "manifest" + 75pt
- "overwhelmed" + 50pt
- "journey" + 25pt
- "incredible" / "unbelievable" + 25pt
- "opportunity" + 10pt
- "sharing" + 10pt

Sentimental reasons:
- "Want to come home" + __pt (+__ bonus for exact wording)
- Playa is home + __pt
- Clear out negative feelings + __pt
- Good for soul + __pt
- Open doors + __pt
- Bring love + __pt
- Amazing experience + __pt
- Something "lost" or missing + __pt
- Playa is the "real world" + __pt
- Birthday gift + __pt
- Getting married/divorced + 25pt
- Getting married/divorced again! + 25pt (each time)
- Prove negative feelings wrong + __pt
- Gone for many years + __pt per year
- Family reunion + __pt
- Fairy language about dancing or souls sharing + 100pt

Praises for others:
- Amazing people + __pt
- Welcoming community + __pt
- Magical people or place + __pt
- "The playa will provide" + __pt
- Faith in generosity of others + __pt

Credentials and reasons (check all that apply):
- Boyfriend/girlfriend has ticket, you don't: + __pt
- States age + __pt
- Virgin burner + __pt
- Artist + __pt
- Making film + __pt
- DJ + __pt
- Military veteran + __pt
- Mother/father + __pt
- Medical problems + __pt
- Poor student + __pt
- Former BM volunteer + __pt
- Current BM volunteer + __pt
- General volunteering + __pt
- Buying for family member + __pt

Blamestorming and other excuses:
- Lack of funds + __pt
- Didn't know it would sell out + __pt
- Not a rich person + __pt
- Traveling from different country + __pts
- Ticket fiasco + 25pt (+ 35 pt if it turns into a rant)

Prior contributions:
- Prior attendance (__pt x claimed years attended)
- Part of a project + __pt
- Once was a DJ at BM + __pt
- Part of "major camp" + __pt

Insults and hate:
- Hates non-contributors: + __pt
- Hates pseudo-burners: + __pt
- Fashionista: e.g. hates cargo pants: + __pt
- Hates scalpers + __pt
- Hates playa virgins + __pt
- Hates capitalism + __pt
- Hates "tourists" + __pt
- Hates RVs + __pt

Style points:
- First post ever + __pt
- Purity bonus: multiple posts, but only for begging: + __pt each new thread
- "Namaste" + __pt
- "Hugs" + __pt
- Picture of self + __pt
- Any keyword in parting words + __pt per word
- Long story + __pt per paragraph
- Posts phone number + 25pt

Over-the-top:
- "Deserves" to go + __pt
- Returns to gloat after receiving ticket + __pt
- Generosity reversal (deigns to take your ticket) + __pt
- Name-drops self + __pt
- Ticket is "karma repayment" + __pt

Repeat customer bonus:
- Number of years asking for free ticket: + __pt (each year)
- Claimed years having received free ticket: + __pt (each year)

Ticket multiplier:
- Need 1 ticket 1x
- Need 2 tickets 1.1x
- Need 3 tickets 1.25x
- Need > 3 tickets 1.5x

Price multiplier:
- Greater than face value 0.5x
- Face value + trade 0.75x
- Face value 1x
- Lower tier ticket 1.5x
- Free ticket 3x
- Trade worthless service (e.g. fresh vegetable chef) 5x

[Joeln]

Wow this is going to be a true snark playground!

@Fishy you got some teeth!

[Simon of the Playa]

Here's the ticket scorekeeping chart for 2014. It's a simple copy from a previous year's list, and may be updated as necessary.

Scoring chart

Desperation level:
- "Must" go this year + 25pt
- "need" + 20pt (each)
- Use of "desperate" + 20pt
- The universe is telling them to go + 50pt
Keywords (each use):
- "miracle" + 50pt
- "pray" + 10pt
- "love" + 25pt
- "dream" + 10pt
- "hoping" + 10pt
- "connect" / "reconnect" + 50pt
- "manifest" + 75pt
- "overwhelmed" + 50pt
- "journey" + 25pt
- "incredible" / "unbelievable" + 25pt
- "opportunity" + 10pt
- "sharing" + 10pt

Sentimental reasons:
- "Want to come home" + __pt (+__ bonus for exact wording)
- Playa is home + __pt
- Clear out negative feelings + __pt
- Good for soul + __pt
- Open doors + __pt
- Bring love + __pt
- Amazing experience + __pt
- Something "lost" or missing + __pt
- Playa is the "real world" + __pt
- Birthday gift + __pt
- Getting married/divorced + 25pt
- Getting married/divorced again! + 25pt (each time)
- Prove negative feelings wrong + __pt
- Gone for many years + __pt per year
- Family reunion + __pt
- Fairy language about dancing or souls sharing + 100pt

Praises for others:
- Amazing people + __pt
- Welcoming community + __pt
- Magical people or place + __pt
- "The playa will provide" + __pt
- Faith in generosity of others + __pt

Credentials and reasons (check all that apply):
- Boyfriend/girlfriend has ticket, you don't: + __pt
- States age + __pt
- Virgin burner + __pt
- Artist + __pt
- Making film + __pt
- DJ + __pt
- Military veteran + __pt
- Mother/father + __pt
- Medical problems + __pt
- Poor student + __pt
- Former BM volunteer + __pt
- Current BM volunteer + __pt
- General volunteering + __pt
- Buying for family member + __pt

Blamestorming and other excuses:
- Lack of funds + __pt
- Didn't know it would sell out + __pt
- Not a rich person + __pt
- Traveling from different country + __pts
- Ticket fiasco + 25pt (+ 35 pt if it turns into a rant)

Prior contributions:
- Prior attendance (__pt x claimed years attended)
- Part of a project + __pt
- Once was a DJ at BM + __pt
- Part of "major camp" + __pt

Insults and hate:
- Hates non-contributors: + __pt
- Hates pseudo-burners: + __pt
- Fashionista: e.g. hates cargo pants: + __pt
- Hates scalpers + __pt
- Hates playa virgins + __pt
- Hates capitalism + __pt
- Hates "tourists" + __pt
- Hates RVs + __pt

Style points:
- First post ever + __pt
- Purity bonus: multiple posts, but only for begging: + __pt each new thread
- "Namaste" + __pt
- "Hugs" + __pt
- Picture of self + __pt
- Any keyword in parting words + __pt per word
- Long story + __pt per paragraph
- Posts phone number + 25pt

Over-the-top:
- "Deserves" to go + __pt
- Returns to gloat after receiving ticket + __pt
- Generosity reversal (deigns to take your ticket) + __pt
- Name-drops self + __pt
- Ticket is "karma repayment" + __pt

Repeat customer bonus:
- Number of years asking for free ticket: + __pt (each year)
- Claimed years having received free ticket: + __pt (each year)

Ticket multiplier:
- Need 1 ticket 1x
- Need 2 tickets 1.1x
- Need 3 tickets 1.25x
- Need > 3 tickets 1.5x

Price multiplier:
- Greater than face value 0.5x
- Face value + trade 0.75x
- Face value 1x
- Lower tier ticket 1.5x
- Free ticket 3x
- Trade worthless service (e.g. fresh vegetable chef) 5x

Fuck!


all this time ive been using myers-briggs.

[theCryptofishist]

Wow this is going to be a true snark playground!

@Fishy you got some teeth!

And a nasty underbite!

[gaminwench]

WOW!
Again, hon, TMI ...

[unitivity]

which side of the prison yard are the hippies on?

thats all i want to know.

[unitivity]

OH! i forget here is an air hug for everyone!

[ygmir]

WOW!
Again, hon, TMI ...

+1

[^Rhino!]

WOW!
Again, hon, TMI ...

+1

On Yggy +2 for using the scorecard,

[Aurelia]

plus me

[Ugly Dougly]

"I've never been to Burning Man but ..."

[GreyCoyote]

WOW!
Again, hon, TMI ...

You should have seen the first revision.

Note to self: tequila, a dry erase board, and many multi-colored markers line the road to self-absorbed techni-color hell

I blame the tequila.

[theCryptofishist]

Oh boy, that passive voice construction led you astray...

[Simon of the Playa]

just steal the fucking money, you dipshit. go to a bank, pull out a fucking gun and take it if you really need it that bad to make your "gift" better...

jesus christ, whatever happened to radical self financing?

[Roberto Dobbisano]

so, still selling space on your dick?


i might have a client.