What's the worst sexual thing you've ever done?

toaster · Post by **toaster** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 2:14 pm

OregonRed wrote:Ok... Allow me to preface this by saying I was 21 and very angry when I did this.

When I found out that my (now ex)husband had cheated on me again(!), I decided that what was good for the gander was good for the goose, but I thought I'd try to one up him. I got all dolled up for a night out with "the girls" and went to the bar I knew one of his close friends was likely to be at. To my delight, the friend was there and I proceeded to ply him with drinks, flattery and flirtation. The poor guy didn't know what had hit him. Before the end of the evening I was in the backseat of his car getting fucked (bareback) very enthusiastically, while he asked over and over if I was sure my husband wouldn't find out. I assured him that I would never tell while I got him to come twice inside me.

After we were done, I hopped in my car and drove home. Once there I woke my husband up and demanded that he go down on me. He did and I had the satisfaction of knowing that my EXTREMELY homophobic husband was eating his friends cum out of me. I laughed all the way to divorce court with that one...

And this is the first tme I have ever told anyone about it.

Love it....

toaster · Post by **toaster** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 2:19 pm

OregonRed wrote:
lonestoner916 wrote:I think if this thread was a competition, OregonRed would be declared the winner, that was truly horrible and yet somehow beautiful at the same time.
Ummmm... Thanks? :shock:

Yeah, so far best story ever. I'm still reading the thread, but yeah!

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:57 am

I'm not sure what drove me to try it but I'm guessing it was plain old boredom but one day I was trying to think of ways to make my daily jerk off a bit more interesting when I had, what I thought was, a brainwave! I grabbed a nice thick woolly sock from my drawer and put it on my cock. I then got on my knees by the side of the bed (facing it) and laid out my favorite jizz mag. Now this is where the 'imaginative' bit comes in. I jammed my sock covered cock between the mattress and the box spring so it was a nice tight fit and then proceeded to pound away as if I was fucking one of these cute boys in the magazine. Every time I got bored I'd simply flip the page and imagine I was actually banging a different hottie! It was the perfect fantasy and went on for ages.

When I finally came I had the usual mix of catholic guilt and lust but I had another sensation too. My cock was on fire! Not literally but it was burning and so fucking sore I thought I was going to pass out. I pulled the sock off my dick to find I'd managed to put a huge freaking friction burn right on the head of it. The burn covered maybe half the head and was oozing goo and blood. It was disgusting! Took about 3 months to fully recover from that and I had a big bloody scab on my dick that took a lot of explaining to the girlfriend.

What did I learn form this sorry experience?...If you're going to fuck a sock either lube up or use a nice soft velvet one

Dr. Pyro · Post by **Dr. Pyro** » Wed Sep 29, 2010 8:29 am

Let me see if I have this straight (if you'll pardon the expression): You were fantasizing about "cute boys" but have a girl friend, who would be ogged out by a scabby cock. I get that part of it, but most non-gay dudes would beat off to at least a girlie magazine, rather than (for example) Playgirl. Maybe that was God's way of punishing you, being Catholic and all. My advice is next time grease up a leather couch and fuck it instead. Then return it to whereever you bought it from and complain to management about these curious stains you just noticed and what kind of perverts are they employing there. At least, that's what I would have done.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Wed Sep 29, 2010 8:45 am

I waiting until after sex to tell that Playa Goddess i have AIDS.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Sep 29, 2010 9:35 am

Fire_Moose wrote:I waiting until after sex to tell that Playa Goddess i have AIDS.

Do you? Or did you just want to break up with her?

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Wed Sep 29, 2010 10:04 am

Well i wanted to break up with her but being so weak willed i had to make it so she broke up with me...

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Sep 29, 2010 10:17 am

We make up stuff hoping to scare them off.

But if they stick around and we decide to put up with them, you can't go back and tell them that you lied, so she goes around introducing as her ex-axe murderer whom she loves anyway. Fuck.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Wed Sep 29, 2010 10:57 am

i thought you DO go back and tell them you lied so they see what a bastitch you are then they leave you for realsies

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:32 pm

A recently widowed "acquaintance" ended up in our hotel room for an after holiday-party party and Trish told me to give her a mercy fuck,,,, I did it,,,, but the widow never called me in the morning,,,,, sighhhhh.

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Thu Sep 30, 2010 12:07 am

Dr. Pyro wrote:Let me see if I have this straight (if you'll pardon the expression): You were fantasizing about "cute boys" but have a girl friend, who would be ogged out by a scabby cock. I get that part of it, but most non-gay dudes would beat off to at least a girlie magazine, rather than (for example) Playgirl. Maybe that was God's way of punishing you, being Catholic and all. My advice is next time grease up a leather couch and fuck it instead. Then return it to whereever you bought it from and complain to management about these curious stains you just noticed and what kind of perverts are they employing there. At least, that's what I would have done.

ok, lets set the record bent.

first I Should have said "one of my girlfriends" secondly, the Reading material in question was 'Best of BiMaxx vol. 9' and though there are women in it, that day I was thinking about Dick. And I am not Catholic, my Sense of Guilt is though, makes for a fun kink.

There thats about as straight as I can get it.

Artemis · Post by **Artemis** » Fri Nov 12, 2010 7:00 am

bump for Bin Noddin'

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:53 am

I fell in love with a non-entity.

Thank goodness we'er only young once.

Bin Noddin · Post by **Bin Noddin** » Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:10 pm

Artemis - what a doll!

It was a team effort - she's answering her boyfriend's texts while I'm eating her out.

But with everybody seeming to text all the time, maybe this is just the new normal.

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:34 pm

So I'm looking at the dates on the posts...is this an older thread brought back to life?

Post by **Eric** » Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:41 pm

maryanimal wrote:So I'm looking at the dates on the posts...is this an older thread brought back to life?

It happens a lot.

Sometimes because some has something to add to an older thread; occasionally because a newb is poking around & doesn't realize that the thread they're responding to is years old; and then there are the times it's because a troll want's to drag up a nasty older thread because, well, because they're a troll.

edit: this would probably fall into the first category

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:44 pm

So Eric, trolls are mean and rotten people? I hate being a newbie...

Post by **Eric** » Fri Nov 12, 2010 10:03 pm

Here's the Wikipedia on a troll, that will sum it up.

Someone like boringwhitebread or whatever is a classic troll. You can "plonk" him (or anyone who annoys you) by using the middle "smiley" under their name when they post.

Snow · Post by **Snow** » Sat Nov 13, 2010 12:30 pm

probably the most unsavory thing I have done was the time my ex-wife and I had a 3way with our friend's girlfriend on his couch while he was passed out drunk.

Da Mule · Post by **Da Mule** » Mon Dec 13, 2010 3:15 pm

I choked somebody while they were about to come. (They had given enough hints that they wanted me to do so...)

But I feel a bit conflicted about it now. Everything I read about it online suggests that I could have killed them and that it's bad and stuff....

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Mon Dec 13, 2010 6:56 pm

Somehow I never imagined you having second thoughts,,,,, hmmmmmmm

I've nearly asphyxiated myself merely from the intensity without any external force applied. Seeing stars and hearing birds and bells and,,,,, phewwww!

I'm sure you woulda stopped squeezin' if that someone would have stopped squirmin'.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon Dec 13, 2010 7:33 pm

Da Mule wrote:I choked somebody while they were about to come. (They had given enough hints that they wanted me to do so...)

But I feel a bit conflicted about it now. Everything I read about it online suggests that I could have killed them and that it's bad and stuff....

I hope he found it worth it.

Some people can be kind of insistent.

Brain damage can be incremental and cumulative.
How many people need to be dumber?

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Dec 13, 2010 7:47 pm

gyre wrote:
Da Mule wrote:I choked somebody while they were about to come. (They had given enough hints that they wanted me to do so...)

But I feel a bit conflicted about it now. Everything I read about it online suggests that I could have killed them and that it's bad and stuff....
I hope he found it worth it.

Some people can be kind of insistent.

Brain damage can be incremental and cumulative.
How many people need to be dumber?

.........

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:19 am

ygmir wrote:
gyre wrote:
Da Mule wrote:I choked somebody while they were about to come. (They had given enough hints that they wanted me to do so...)

But I feel a bit conflicted about it now. Everything I read about it online suggests that I could have killed them and that it's bad and stuff....
I hope he found it worth it.

Some people can be kind of insistent.

Brain damage can be incremental and cumulative.
How many people need to be dumber?

.........

Well, the more there are the more job security I have

Aiee! It burns! · Post by **Aiee! It burns!** » Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:36 am

is celibacy a sin ?

Da Mule · Post by **Da Mule** » Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:03 pm

Aiee! It burns! wrote:is celibacy a sin ?

It might be the worst sexual thing you've ever done.

myburningdesire · Post by **myburningdesire** » Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:27 pm

Whoa, just.......ummmmm...........wow. .......and I thought I was evil.

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Wed Dec 15, 2010 10:36 am

2 weeks ago I showed some beginning biology students some of my jiz on a slide during their introduction to lab class. wouldn't normally think of this as a "worst ever" moment except for the little white lie I told them. "This sample was collected from a lab cat using electro stimulation."

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Wed Dec 15, 2010 12:24 pm

knowmad wrote:2 weeks ago I showed some beginning biology students some of my jiz on a slide during their introduction to lab class. wouldn't normally think of this as a "worst ever" moment except for the little white lie I told them. "This sample was collected from a lab cat using electro stimulation."

It wouldn't have been bad if you didn't have the autistic girl handling it...

Aiee! It burns! · Post by **Aiee! It burns!** » Wed Dec 15, 2010 2:12 pm

Fire_Moose wrote:
knowmad wrote:2 weeks ago I showed some beginning biology students some of my jiz on a slide during their introduction to lab class. wouldn't normally think of this as a "worst ever" moment except for the little white lie I told them. "This sample was collected from a lab cat using electro stimulation."

It wouldn't have been bad if you didn't have the autistic girl handling it...

Depends if you teach college or... ?