Buying Empire!

[Simon of the Playa]

I have welcomed this opportunity to address this historic body, and, through you, the people of Massachusetts to whom I am so deeply indebted for a lifetime of friendship and trust.

For fourteen years I have placed my confidence in the citizens of Massachusetts—and they have generously responded by placing their confidence in me.

Now, on the Friday after next, I am to assume new and broader responsibilities. But I am not here to bid farewell to Massachusetts.

For forty-three years—whether I was in London, Washington, the South Pacific, or elsewhere—this has been my home; and, God willing, wherever I serve this shall remain my home.

It was here my grandparents were born—it is here I hope my grandchildren will be born.

I speak neither from false provincial pride nor artful political flattery. For no man about to enter high office in this country can ever be unmindful of the contribution this state has made to our national greatness.

Its leaders have shaped our destiny long before the great republic was born. Its principles have guided our footsteps in times of crisis as well as in times of calm. Its democratic institutions—including this historic body—have served as beacon lights for other nations as well as our sister states.

For what Pericles said to the Athenians has long been true of this commonwealth: "We do not imitate—for we are a model to others."

And so it is that I carry with me from this state to that high and lonely office to which I now succeed more than fond memories of firm friendships. The enduring qualities of Massachusetts—the common threads woven by the Pilgrim and the Puritan, the fisherman and the farmer, the Yankee and the immigrant—will not be and could not be forgotten in this nation's executive mansion.

They are an indelible part of my life, my convictions, my view of the past, and my hopes for the future.

Allow me to illustrate: During the last sixty days, I have been at the task of constructing an administration. It has been a long and deliberate process. Some have counseled greater speed. Others have counseled more expedient tests.

But I have been guided by the standard John Winthrop set before his shipmates on the flagship Arbella three hundred and thirty-one years ago, as they, too, faced the task of building a new government on a perilous frontier.

"We must always consider," he said, "that we shall be as a city upon a hil—the eyes of all people are upon us."

Today the eyes of all people are truly upon us—and our governments, in every branch, at every level, national, state and local, must be as a city upon a hill—constructed and inhabited by men aware of their great trust and their great responsibilities.

For we are setting out upon a voyage in 1961 no less hazardous than that undertaken by the Arabella in 1630. We are committing ourselves to tasks of statecraft no less awesome than that of governing the Massachusetts Bay Colony, beset as it was then by terror without and disorder within.

History will not judge our endeavors—and a government cannot be selected—merely on the basis of color or creed or even party affiliation. Neither will competence and loyalty and stature, while essential to the utmost, suffice in times such as these.

For of those to whom much is given, much is required. And when at some future date the high court of history sits in judgment on each one of us—recording whether in our brief span of service we fulfilled our responsibilities to the state—our success or failure, in whatever office we may hold, will be measured by the answers to four questions:

First, were we truly men of courage—with the courage to stand up to one's enemies—and the courage to stand up, when necessary, to one's associates—the courage to resist public pressure, as well as private greed?

Secondly, were we truly men of judgment—with perceptive judgment of the future as well as the past—of our own mistakes as well as the mistakes of others—with enough wisdom to know that we did not know, and enough candor to admit it?

Third, were we truly men of integrity—men who never ran out on either the principles in which they believed or the people who believed in them—men who believed in us—men whom neither financial gain nor political ambition could ever divert from the fulfillment of our sacred trust?

Finally, were we truly men of dedication—with an honor mortgaged to no single individual or group, and compromised by no private obligation or aim, but devoted solely to serving the public good and the national interest.

Courage—judgment—integrity—dedication these are the historic qualities of the Bay Colony and the Bay State—the qualities which this state has consistently sent to this chamber on Beacon Hill here in Boston and to Capitol Hill back in Washington.

And these are the qualities which, with God's help, this son of Massachusetts hopes will characterize our government's conduct in the four stormy years that lie ahead.

Humbly I ask His help in that undertaking—but aware that on earth His will is worked by men. I ask for your help and your prayers, as I embark on this new and solemn journey.

[Roberto Dobbisano]

yeah, Jack liked Boobies too.

[ygmir]

did Jackie?

[Simon of the Playa]

oh my god.


something i had never even considered.


Marilyn AND Jackie in the closet together.






that is SO HOT, at least to a historian. Hold down the fort Yggy, i'll be back in five minutes.

[ygmir]

I knew, you, would go there...............I'm already back.

"happy birrrttthhhdddaaayyy.........mister Prezident......................hhhhaaaappppyyyy birrrrtthhhddaaayyy tooooooooooo yyyooooouuuuuuu................

*iirc, JFK loves cigars.........*

[Fire_Moose]

Nothin' like bloody vaginas to get the blood pumpin'.

[moonrise]

Simon, I will be dontating real wood from the secret gates of the Cal-Neva to donate to The Pier...both of those women touched this wood... we will probably burn it!

[littleflower]

As the largest employer of the town, maybe he could be the "Positive Individual Making Progress"!

It sounds like Simon has accepted the position of town P.I.M.P.
All we need is a uniform for that boy!

*searching for a uniform that will not offend the fashion police*

how about something like this?


although, personally, i think simon would look smashing in this

[Eric]

It sounds like Simon has accepted the position of town P.I.M.P.
All we need is a uniform for that boy!

If it's the already banned "white-guy-in-a-pimp-suit" I will put him in my Fashion Police wing of the gypsum plant, locked up for life.

If it's something with actual style or that Simon flair, he'll be fine.

[littleflower]

It sounds like Simon has accepted the position of town P.I.M.P.
All we need is a uniform for that boy!

If it's the already banned "white-guy-in-a-pimp-suit" I will put him in my Fashion Police wing of the gypsum plant, locked up for life.

If it's something with actual style or that Simon flair, he'll be fine.

i suspect the only reasonable answer, actually, is anything ..... as long as it's easy to remove ....

[FIGJAM]

The position of Mayor is honourary.

There's a sash that say's "hizzonor the Mayor" and a top hat.

Other clouthing is optional.

Duties restricted to smilling and waveing an the citizens.

He can do ribbon cuttings to open the Maul if he promises not to make any speaches.

All those seeking political office will immediatly be elected into said office.

They will have no power to pass laws. No budget. No croanes and will be shunned for thier entire one year in office.

If they still feel the same way after said year, They will be labeled incombent, and "serve" another year.

This will repeat untill they come to thier senses.

[Sail Man]

I found a sign for Shambala;s office door

[FIGJAM]

Anyone trying to impose a tax of any kind will be labeled radical and summarily exicuted.

[FIGJAM]

The only law will be against theft in all its forms.

The guilty will be drawn and quartered useing giant tortoises instead of horses, then recycled.

[Sham]

There will be no taxes in our fair town. All our revenue will be derived from ygmir stopping speeders, Anyone going even one mile over the speed limit will be subject to his wrath, attitude and ticket. Think of the money we can rake in on poor, unsuspecting suckers that dare to pass through our town. We can tell them that it's for their own good and for the safety of our childen, when really we just want to bring in lots of CASH to our town.
I am pretty sure that this idea has worked before!

[Dr. Pyro]

You know, I've been to Gerlach and saw a bunch of Indians running around. Maybe we could open a casino?

[TomServo]

Didnt they try? and got screwed by the big casinos in Reno? anyways..its Nevada..not California.

[Dr. Pyro]

Jeeze Tom, I was kidding.

[Simon of the Playa]

[ygmir]

bizarro Simon?

[FIGJAM]

Where is your sash and top hat?

[maryanimal]

As the largest employer of the town, maybe he could be the "Positive Individual Making Progress"!

It sounds like Simon has accepted the position of town P.I.M.P.
All we need is a uniform for that boy!

how about this one?

[maryanimal]

bizarro Simon?

Isn't that Max Headroom?

[ygmir]

bizarro Simon?

Isn't that Max Headroom?

not a sci-fi buff?

[maryanimal]

Sci-Fi? naaaaawwww. But how about this outfit for Simon?

[ygmir]

fine, if Cher will show up and sing with him.

[maryanimal]

fine, if Cher will show up and sing with him.

I got you babe!

[TomServo]

hippies

[Sham]

hippies

HIPPIES! I almost forgot about the hippies!
I imagine some will be drifting into town looking for food, drugs and a place to rest their hippies asses (for a few years).
Where could they live, that would be downwind from the clean non-hippie population?

[ygmir]

fine, if Cher will show up and sing with him.

I got you babe!

*primal thoughts*