PLAYA LIMERICKS! Post Em Here...

Liz Estrada · Post by **Liz Estrada** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:05 am

there once was a cop, call him "Ponch"
liked his sex with a big side of raunch
made his sacred, profane
making tapes like Bob Crane
his opinions on fucking quite Staunch.

Birdman · Post by **Birdman** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:39 pm

There once was a lady in black
of men she did not lack
play with here was their mistake
they would end up in the lake
swimming inside a sack.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 7:44 pm

there once was a guy named obama,
he went to d.c., sands his momma,
his stimulus shrewd,
now we are all screwed..........
like the sheep, and, not, like a llama

Birdman · Post by **Birdman** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:00 pm

There's me here in the Playa
ma sheep 'a don know where 'a
they gone a'wandering
the land they like a'fondering
if I catch 'em they won't know week from day.

lordgrizz · Post by **lordgrizz** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:56 am

If you plan to head out to the dust
one lesson to learn is a must
preparing is smart
but take it to heart
You can still be undone by a gust

On Monday the camp caught a twister
mother nature can be one wicked sister
our shade tarps were rent
and the rebar all bent
though we tried our best to resist her

Though the playa giveth and taketh away
we put it back up the next day
worked hard in the sun
'till our camp was redone
then off in the night to go play

So leave behind all expectation
but be bold and without trepidation
be crafty and learn
that the art of the burn
Is much more than just celebration!

madmatt · Post by **madmatt** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 7:13 pm

lordgrizz wrote:If you plan to head out to the dust
...
Is much more than just celebration!

NICE!!!

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 5:30 pm

The once was an Artist named Harvey
whom all the cool kids thought was Marv-y
if you have the right stamp
you'll get in to first camp
for the Hookers and Blow in the RV.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat Mar 28, 2009 10:58 am

its warm and its bright all day long
its saturday, what could go wrong?
then i walked down the street
Just enjoying Spring heat
and i saw a Fat Guy in a thong.

help · Post by **help** » Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:56 am

"Ivy"

Midwest Burners: a word to the wise-
keep campfire smoke out of your eyes!
Urushiol oils
cause blisters and boils,
when firewood with ivy vine fries!

This "Ivy", tyrannical scamp,
lives year-round in places you camp,
She's a cold, ruthless bitch
with a relentless itch,
who wanders the woods like a tramp.

Sitting silent, at times undetected,
Her mission is never neglected!
She gives you no warning,
But, oh, in the morning,
you'll know that you've been "selected!"

"Spread the word and let it be known,
Stay away from where I have grown!
Find your own place,
and get outta my face,
as this place I've claimed for my own!"

The insult to injury is smoke.
I assure you: This is no joke!
Cut her vines and then burn,
and most surely you'll learn
her revenge as you collapse and choke.

I've heard stories she's actually killed.
(I do know first-hand she's strong-willed!)
Get her into your lungs,
and your days might be done!
She's a stalker, exceptionally skilled!

Avoidance, as hard as one tries,
may not be enough for this "prize."
Water and bar soap
may be just the dope
to reduce her "kiss" with its lyes.

Products abound to reduce
itching and boiling effuse.
Avoidance is best-
and negates all the rest,
precluding all chemical use!

"Poison" Ivy she's called for a reason!
Sallies forth this time of the season.
"Leaves of three, let her be!"
Sage advice, seems to me,
from the words of a grizzled old woodsman.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Apr 03, 2009 10:12 am

from the great north to deep Tex-Arkana
in Canadia and republics banana
watch this hot little tart
do a double film part
"Deep Throat" starring Hannah Montana.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu May 28, 2009 8:29 pm

every year, when we burn the Man
and leave defaultia behind, if we can
but then during the week
should we just take a peek at
the Mushroom Cloud in Pakistan.

And whether you are for or aft
or perhaps being witty or daft
but right here i predict
as our army is licked
that Obama will bring back the Draft.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sat May 30, 2009 6:46 am

In Korea, the north is worse
I'll use them, here, in this verse

from Beijings pocket
they'll launch a rocket

and Asia will be liverwurs(t)

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat May 30, 2009 9:02 am

im not too afraid of K. Jong
he's been steady and true all along
he'll behave and play nice
when we give him more rice
and viagara for little Kim's schlong.

wedeliver · Post by **wedeliver** » Sat May 30, 2009 9:22 am

There was a young lady from Black Rock
she liked to do it to fast rock
but her pee funnel broke
when she tried to take a toke
and now shes just on a hard rock

There was a young lass from Burning Man
who volunteered at the gate as meeann
when she would search your rv
she made like a bee
and this is dumb

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Sat May 30, 2009 9:43 am

kim jong-il is only the first
other wackos are planning much worse
kim'll throw us a curve
to test 'bama's nerve
if O fails, we all will be cursed

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat May 30, 2009 10:26 am

the nay-sayers hope "O" will fail
Fat Rush put the wind in that Sail
let them whine and complainey
while they trot out Dick Cheney
let's just hope they wont Cough up Dick's Bail*

*regardless of mr. cheney's recent defense of indefensible policies involving illegal torture, he WILL be indicted, soon, and there wont be anybody to pull a "scooter" for him...

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Sat May 30, 2009 10:47 am

i don't hope obama will fail
don't want to see cheney in jail
you partisan types
with your bullshit and hype
more often than not miss the nail

madmatt · Post by **madmatt** » Sat May 30, 2009 10:47 am

With only 90 days left till the Burn
To dust my thoughts start to turn
My ass gets all dancey and I start getting antsy
To go home to Black Rock do I yearn.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat May 30, 2009 1:45 pm

a partisan, true, i may be
but here in the land of the free
if you commit crime
than you should do the time
Cheney's guilt, even blind men can see.

and lets not forget mr. Gonzalez
or Rummy and his asshole follies
they re-wrote the LAW
justify "shock and awe"
and Abu Ghirab was their Jollies.

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Sat May 30, 2009 8:34 pm

way too much anger, and fear, and gloom
too many minds, i fear, they consume
you don't want to know the whole story
it don't fit, and you just want the gore-y
what elephant? there's none in THIS room.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun May 31, 2009 6:25 am

the naive, the dumb and the mean
think that villians should never come clean
they bury their head
like they bury their dead
in the ground, deep, where it cant be seen.

The truth is a difficult matter
and fat people tend to get fatter
but i know the skinny
and justice will winny
as when Jacob discovered his Ladder.

PS...

a limerick's made of five lines
the first two and last, tends to rhyme
then syllables five
so please try to strive
to do it correctly next time.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun May 31, 2009 6:37 am

the Lefties do always seem mad
the Righties, they always call "bad"
with rose colored glasses
and lips touching asses
the messiah, they want to call "dad"

The Righties they want all the powers
the Lefties they say smell the flowers
they make all the dough
and then, off shore go
to sit in the ivory towers

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun May 31, 2009 7:16 am

like bull dykes who look for a switch
and poor starving artists, the rich,
each symbiotic
drug user, narcotic
the Left and the Right love to Bitch.

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Sun May 31, 2009 10:03 am

dear simon, so bright! but i find
hate and anger corrupting your mind
wisdom you've not
so you try a cheap shot
at my limericks and ample behind

i know that you want me to cower
and mindlessly fall to your power
it all seems so silly
i'd prefer your willy
inside my delectable flower

not really ... it just worked so well ... hee

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun May 31, 2009 11:53 am

your behind, i never have seen
my intuitive powers are keen
you take it with bias
you're a victim of liars
but your thighs i could get in between.

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Sun May 31, 2009 10:48 pm

a terrible situation...
too much information...
how can you
tell the true
from the lies told the nation?

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:10 am

the politicians're groovin
the nation, down, is movin'
they lie so well
and, we can tell,
because their lips are movin'

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 8:11 am

my problem, i'll explain if you please
not just lies, but government sleaze
it's a very big world
and corruption gets hurled
from one end to the other, with ease

we pick on our own but of course
dictators ... their people meet force
it's all very sad
our gov't is bad
but too many others are worse

corruption is always around
terror and murder surround
it always has been
it will be again
protect your ass or be knocked down

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 8:39 am

our government you should not fear
it's changed MUCH in just one short year
no more wiretaps
without warrant or caps
and Legalized pot is quite near.

Why dont you just give Him a chance
it's not like he wants in your pants
he's better than Bush
when shove comes to push
and truth is that White guys cant Dance.

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 3:32 pm

ygmir wrote:there once was a guy named obama,
he went to d.c., sands his momma,
his stimulus shrewd,
now we are all screwed..........
like the sheep, and, not, like a llama

OHHH!!!! OHHHH!!! OHHHHHH!!!!!! YGMIR!!!!!!!
I sooooooooooooooooooooo wanna spank you right now,
you RepubLICKcan....

*calm down, Poo, calm down*

I had a great day at the park today
I bent over a log and got fucked today
The geese and the ducks did not mind today
I picked up their sweet feathers and I smiled today
I can't wait to go back to the park

*laughing humorously*

I'm not very good with limericks, but...oh well....