The Bar

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 10:36 am

Ok I'll sit down now,

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 10:47 am

Z-Dog you are a MADMAN!

But here's a contender for the P.O.D.

robbidobbs wrote:You guys just crack me up. I'll try to incorporate your advice into my next encounter (to be avoided as long as possible).

Here's todays FUCKing rant.
I've had a personal ad up for many years now, mostly to find friends, and meet interesting guys. Ok, I want to get laid too.
What really pisses me off is when a dude responds to my ad, which clearly states that I've got a bit of body padding, and they're all like "Hey baby", then I scroll thru to read their ad and they clearly state that they're looking for someone slender to athletic build. WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY BOTHERING ME THEN!!! If they give a shit about what a females body type is enough to include it in their profile, then they can refrain from insulting the shit out of me by responding to my ad.
And another thing that irks me: poor spelling and grammar when responding to my ad. It's the equivalent of not zipping their fly IMO.
And what's up with these jerks who think I want to see their dicks before I've ever seen their faces??? WTF!?!

What am I looking for? the twinkle in their eye, good verbal skills and for petes sake keep it in your pants until I've finished my coffee/beer/driving away!!!

...FUCK!

I'll drink to dat!

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 11:02 am

I'd read it then decided it was a bomb waiting to explode so I didn't post a reply.

but let's discuses it

take the easiest part first;
"And another thing that irks me: poor spelling and grammar when responding to my ad. It's the equivalent of not zipping their fly IMO. "

As someone who has always been truly horrible at spelling, ( I blame my problem on dyslexia ) I rely heavily on spell check. As we all know that has it's limitations. every thing I post I first write out in an e-mail to spell check it then cut and past it into a reply box. Some guys might not have discovered this trick. then there is the great number of idiot horndogs, to take into consideration. There really are a lot of stupid people in the world and they are looking for love too.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 11:18 am

Oh sure buckethead sets me up then takes off,....

I might as well move over to the fuck thread with this and see if I can really put my foot in it.

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:13 pm

Popping in once again just for a quickie...

Can I have an irish coffee?

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:27 pm

Holy empty bar catwoman!

Guess I'll have to make my own damned drink. Oh well... at least I know it'll get made right...

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:33 pm

all right kiddos, I'm taking my coffee with me. The next person in this joint is appointed barkeep until one of the usuals comes back.

Have a great sunday!

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:45 pm

We're all in and out today. Hard to get a quickie why you are flying k-solo. Just back from the dump where I got some wood for tonight's build-and-burn. It's windy as hell and people are wimps this time of the year adjusting to the change of seasons, but I hope to have at least a few compatriots around sunset.

Fugit, ice coffee for me!

Now where's the ice?

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 1:27 pm

I am off to a technical conference in San Diego (actually La Jolla) this evening for the next few days. My online time is gonna be a bit limited. But if anyone wants to hang out for a real beer or something, drop me a note!

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 1:38 pm

Hey bartender, you got any more of those PBR's? Mighty dry here today.

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:54 pm

quickly in quickly out to the Flatiron....never say never.......here's one for the road

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 5:13 pm

Well, I've never been opposed to a self-serve quickie...

my motto is: always know how to handle things yourself... that way you never have to rely on anyone else...

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 5:28 pm

(Coming in from the snow, wiping my feet on the old rug in front of the Bar)
This is as good a place as any to sit and think.
Ooh, there's a cold Milwaukee's Best in a can. Wish I had a homebrew. I just love the Homebrew Camp. Beer is good food. This canoe beer will have to do.
(Idly drawing squiggles in the dust on the bar)
I had a damn good guffaw at Notthat1's response to my mumblings. Perfect response. It could be that I'm getting older, or it's the snow outside, but it just seems like the amount of effort it takes to be social isn't worth it.
(Blowing bubbles in my beer)
But is the loneliness worth it?
(Lighting a cigarette)
Are the deep, intellectual conversations after sex worth the price of admission?
(Gulping some beer)
You bet they are!
(Looking around at the empty Bar)
I'm cold. Autumn has fallen on us. The snow is pretty though.
Still, I don't feel particularly lonely. I like this camp. I feel comfortable here, even alone.
(Puting out the cigarette, and taking another swig of beer)
"Autoerotic" Z said. That's funny. Audio-erotic is what he meant, but that's ok. Autoerotic is masterbation. Cute slip. Puting a nonrealistic fantasy out for all to see is both masterbatory and exhibitionistic. I still think guys should do a final check in the mirror, and proofread their personal ad responses. Last check, yep, my fly is up. Good to go.
Writers and other verbal artists arouse the pants off me. I guess it's because I'm a verbal artist. Not saying that visual artists are bad, just not my idea of a sufficient condition. We've all got our fetishes...
(Almost shooting beer thru my nose from laughing spontaneously)
...my GAWD do people have their fetishes!
(sigh)
The guy I fell for recently misuses words, or mispronounces words constantly, but he just keeps on talking. It's cute, in a verbal anarchistic way. Hell, I make up my own language. Sometimes I have a hard time discerning if I'm making any sense at all when I'm talking.
(Running my fingers thru my hair)
Just keep talking Z, and I'll forgive the transgressions as long as your heart is open, and your mind is engaged.
(Puting my jacket back on)
Which I'm sure they are.
I like this place, not have to worry about how drunk you are, or how the words are slurring. I wish some of the regulars were here.
(Finishing the beer while humming Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here")
They kareokied the fuck out of that song next to my camp this year. Wonder if any of the regulars here know the behind the scenes story behind that one.
(Moving to leave)
Quiet day. Peaceful.

BAS · Post by **BAS** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:37 pm

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... *!*

Oh, it was nothing, I guess. Just another cold, gloomy fall day....

(Takes swig out of vodka bottle, rolls back under the table & wraps self in blanket.)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:43 pm

Thanks Robbi,.............

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:45 pm

Bas why don't you start a fire in the fire place over there.

You want a glass?

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:53 pm

// Goes to door hollers out //

Lydia,.. Lydia, come on in for a bit have a drink and tell us how your doing.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:53 pm

*Lugs in a case of homebrew*

Hey... just thought I'd bring this by. There's a couple more cases out front.

I wrote on the caps with a sharpie. " HA" is a rather nice honey ale. Watch it, though. I keep forgetting to check how boozy they are and the honey ale packs a punch. "P" is for a pretty good porter.

If you find one with an "X" on the cap just pour it out. It's nasty tasting.

Enjoy

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:57 pm

wow thanks! I'm sure everyone will enjoy these a lot.

Though I think I'll tell people that the ones with the "X" are for nipples.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:59 pm

// doesn't wait and pops the top on a Honey Ale.//

Tasty even warm Yum.

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:04 pm

*smell of gasoline and burnt wood precedes BHA into The Bar*

Ahoy! Just back from a lil fire on the beach. Wore my playa hat, I did. Only two people showed up tonight, folks. Maybe the fact that it was 47 degrees out had something to do with it. Weeeeeemps.

PBR tonight? Okay.

*glug*

But we built a funky thing, poured some gasoline on it and set it ablaze anyway. It didn't burn well until after I shot an entire can of Quik-Start into it. Poor man's flame thrower. Then we had some action.

*glug*

Of course there was the obligatory flaming tecate can for good effect. I'll post some images tomorrow. The centerpiece was a tulip-shaped doohicky made of plywood which concealed a plastic water bottle filled with gasoline. When the gas went off, it sent a pointy orange flame up from the center of the tulip.

*glug*

We learn more each time out. A sculptor who was there tonight started talking about building something with 100 pallets and 100 Tecate cans filled with gasoline.

*glug*

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:10 pm

Sounds like a fun night on the beach, Or was it afternoon?

Anyway do you want to do the honors and light the fire place?

Maybe you should leave your coat over here it would probably be good to avoid exploding fire balls inside.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:13 pm

" Buckethead, Buckethead you are like an Alien
Buckethead, Buckethead your head is like a dish
Buckethead, Buckethead sometimes you wear the Maybelline
Buckethead, Buckethead sometimes you're full of fish "
Hmm, sounds kind of chickenfishie

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:14 pm

Hi Zuly, what's up? Yeah sure, I'll light something up. I have a bit more material right outside.

*runs for the door*

Oh, it was night. Lotsa stars.

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:18 pm

Zulegoona wrote:" Buckethead, Buckethead you are like an Alien
Buckethead, Buckethead your head is like a dish
Buckethead, Buckethead sometimes you wear the Maybelline
Buckethead, Buckethead sometimes you're full of fish "
Hmm, sounds kind of chickenfishie

*yells from outside*

bambi of finland wrote it for me, you like it?

*comes back in dragging a shipping pallet, some 2X4s and assorted plywood crap, a broken-down dresser and a fake oil painting of a water fall stolen from a Holiday Inn*

Here, this will make a nice fire for us.

Are there any of LL's brews handy?

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:18 pm

// already with another PBR for BHA //

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:20 pm

*thump, pile, crunch, smack*

Anybody got any other crap they want to burn before I light this? Alrighty, I'll go get the gasoline in the meantime.

*runs out the door*

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:23 pm

"Are there any of LL's brews handy?"

you know the choices what'll it be?

// starts drinking the open PBR //

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:25 pm

Don't use to much gas, or you'll have to tell Tisha about burning the place down.

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:26 pm

You know, I kinda wanna taste one of those "X" ones.