Isolation

[Playa Hater]

You two need to take your bullshit somewhere else.

[maryanimal]

I'm going to ask that this thread be locked, or those posts cleared. Enough is enough. Take it in the PM lounge.

There's a PM lounge?!

Yeah jon. there is! It a new, hip place! I'm surprized you haven't been there yet!

[Foxfur]

Folks, I want to apologize for my post earlier on this thread. It was light hearted but flip and thus not appropriate here.
I really didn't mean to be so insensitive in a charged atmosphere.
Ff

[theCryptofishist]

Dang, I wish the new eplaya had the ability to plonk threads.

[MyDearFriend]

Folks, I want to apologize for my post earlier on this thread. It was light hearted but flip and thus not appropriate here.
I really didn't mean to be so insensitive in a charged atmosphere.
Ff

Well, you can feel that way if you want to, and I admire your honorable apology, but, lighthearted flippancy is sometimes very helpful.

(((Foxfur))) you are great, and that wet suit & shoulder-pad combo makes me want to dance with you.

[Elderberry]

Folks, I want to apologize for my post earlier on this thread. It was light hearted but flip and thus not appropriate here.
I really didn't mean to be so insensitive in a charged atmosphere.
Ff

Really? Which post was that?

[Foxfur]

It was the quarter movie booth 'witty rejoinder' one.
On reflection I felt it was unneeded chaff and a fluff post.
Lightheartedness is cool, just felt I stuck my nose in the wrong thread.















Did somebody say dance?

I like that idea

[ygmir]

don't sweat that stuff Ff.......
it's all in the spirit, and, sometimes, folks gotta lighten up, even if it isn't funny.

[burner von braun]

Heck Ff, I saw it as a welcome momentary relief from what is an otherwise very unfortunate situation. The fact that you expressed your concern about your joke (which I thought was quite funny) speaks to your character.

[Trishntek]

My eyes are fully open to this awful situation.
I will go at once to Roderick and give him an oration.
I will tell him I've remembered my forgotten moral senses,
And don't give tuppance a penny about any consequences.

Now I do not want to perish by the sword or by the dagger
But a word or two of compliment, my vanity will swagger!
But I'm going to die tomorrow, so it really does not matter,,,,
no, it really does not matter,,,
no it really doesn't matter at all.
HMS Pinafore

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
I'm gonna eat some worms.
First one went down easy,
Second one tasted greasy,
Third one nearly cut my throat!
Annon.

On a personal note, Trish decided to stop taking her "brain pills" the early part of this month. It is astonishing what chemotherapy does to the brain without intervention! By the middle of this month, she was,,,,, to put it nicely,,,, CrAzY!

She was totally irrational and defined the term "FINE". In other words, Frenetic, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. I was not aware of her decision to cease taking the pills and was beside myself with concern, worry and feeling ISOLATED. Maryanimal received a taste of her insanity which was unfortunate.

Trish stopped taking the pills because of the cost. Sometimes, we do not realize the consequences of seemingly innocent actions until it is too late. Emotions, hurt feelings and unpleasant experiences can result from the most simple motives.

I share all this to express the sadness in my heart for all that has transpired on this thread. We all have choices in life. We can cast blame and lash out in anger and frustration without a care for the consequences. Once that water is under the bridge, what do we do? Grieve? Hide? Pretend it didn't happen? Those are the recipe for bitterness.

Being the optimist which permeates my being, gratefulness for the experience and growing in character are some of the benefits of such experiences. Concentrating on the good helps me heal and move toward a better tomorrow. Instead of looking at "pro and con", I always look at the pro of each side. Giving the "con" consideration seems to prejudice the equation in my own mind.

[Foxfur]

Well said Ntek.
Take good care of her. I want to see you both there

[lucky420]

Trish is lucky to have you. Hope that she is better now...

[Trishntek]

She is better! In fact, she is looking,,,, dare I say,,,, more healthy than she has for over a year. Her mind is back to her Dominant Self! And at the same time, the most loving, sensitive and intuitive person in my life. I'm fortunate to have her!

[Elderberry]

Folks, I want to apologize for my post earlier on this thread. It was light hearted but flip and thus not appropriate here.
I really didn't mean to be so insensitive in a charged atmosphere.
Ff

Love means never having to say you're sorry.

[Elderberry]

I'm going to ask that this thread be locked, or those posts cleared. Enough is enough. Take it in the PM lounge.

There's a PM lounge?!

Yeah john. there is! It a new, hip place! I'm surprized you haven't been there yet!

I'm always late to the party.

[MyDearFriend]

I'm always late to the party.

Just don't be late to the Meet & Greet.

On a personal note, Trish decided to stop taking her "brain pills" the early part of this month. It is astonishing what chemotherapy does to the brain without intervention! By the middle of this month, she was,,,,, to put it nicely,,,, CrAzY!

Gosh I am sorry TnT but thank you for sharing. ChemoBrain can be terrifying and heartbreaking and, even when we know exactly what is going on it is hard, tremendously hard to deal with, and double tough when it hits the boss. I remember, gosh I remember when it hit my Dad, how awful that was, how I'd struggle to keep him safe while preserving his dignity and missing the man I knew him to be. I'd run out the house sometimes and sit on the end of his pier, wiping my eyes and thinking about the bottle of Bushmills I had socked away in my old bedroom...

Gosh.

(((TnT)))

Good to know that the pills work. And people do recover.

And life is too short for bullshit blame-games, any way you look at it.

[TomServo]

I'm a stones throw from Nevada. All I own is what I'm wearing. The impulse to leave california is really strong right now. I'm familiar with the Nevada desert, and know the dangers. But those dangers seem agreeable, compared to staying in this state. I bought some slippers yesterday...a little better than my flip flops. People in Alturas must have small feet. Couldn't find any shoes that fit. Whatever direction I choose, I have nothing to look forward to. Maybe Oregon.

[ygmir]

I'm a stones throw from Nevada. All I own is what I'm wearing. The impulse to leave california is really strong right now. I'm familiar with the Nevada desert, and know the dangers. But those dangers seem agreeable, compared to staying in this state. I bought some slippers yesterday...a little better than my flip flops. People in Alturas must have small feet. Couldn't find any shoes that fit. Whatever direction I choose, I have nothing to look forward to. Maybe Oregon.

Jeebus TS..........is your stuff impounded still?

[TomServo]

30 days. My suspension ended, the day I was arrested. Was planning on renewing my licence the next day.

[ygmir]

so, no wheels?

[TomServo]

Nope, just a $10 pair of slippers.

[goathead]

Goddamit TS, get yourself into a program some place.
Its up to you, as to how much of this bullshit you want to put yourself through.

I did the same thing to myself many years ago, till I was so fucking sick of it I was willing to sit down, shut up, and realize I didn't know shit about how to live.

It's easy to blame the world, dam tough to be honest with ourselves.

[TomServo]

I don't blame the world. I'm just undecided on which direction to go. If your reffering to my love of beer, I wish I had that luxury. Before I left Benicia, id go for long walks...and that seemed to clear my mind. So I'm just trying to decide which way to walk.

[goathead]

You had better take a look at your loves and where you are now.
Your love is costing you everything in your life.

Where is your road going to take you?
Prison, death?

[TomServo]

Looks like I can do that without alcohol. I meant, physically walking. Leaving Alturas, on my feet.

[wedeliver]

I am finding difficulty in PM to some people so I am posting this here. Jeff, a letter came for you and is being forwarded to the Alturas, CA Post Office where it will be held. I hope this finds you still in town, although if you have left, you can contact that post office and instruct them how to forward it. It will not be at the Post Office until maybe 2:00pm today Saturday July 2, 2011 Good luck.

[Foxfur]

+1

[graidawg]

i've come to realise that my isolation has become a habit, to the extent i impose it on myself rather than sit with others i choose to sit behind a closed door. my compAnions are a ones i find in an online world, even the people i know i converse with virtually.
As much as i crave the conpany of others i choose to put myself in solitude and virtually have company than to risk the rejection i find so familiar. but habits are hard to break even when you make an effort the habit helps you to find a reason to continue it.
if i dont break this habit my life will be a place where i can touch the opposite wall at the same time and my friends will only ever be able to ((((hug)))) me.

There is safety in solitude though nobody can hurt you nothing can be lost or stolen or broken.
rejection can be ignored because nobody else is there to tell you about it.
A dream cant be broken if you never dream it and a plan be cant be ruined if you never plan it
thank the gods i planned burning man before life got it in the way

I could spend the next 2 months not actually physically being with a friend
in fact i could spend it right here in the place i sleep, not moving from my bed
not planning or doing anything other than how to make my life the same
but i knew somehow to plan burning man before life got in the way

there is nothing i need to do, not one single thing to make it happen
those friends who are not there have made it so,
if i did not move from here from now till then, and did no more
because i planned for this burning man life stays in my way

where it my choice, and mine alone i would stay and never see home
but i was wise and made a choice before this moment came to pass
when sat alone in my isolation, by my own hand, i see some sense
and off to burning man i will go for life and a chance to play

[Foxfur]

i've come to realise that my isolation has become a habit, to the extent i impose it on myself rather than sit with others i choose to sit behind a closed door. my compAnions are a ones i find in an online world, even the people i know i converse with virtually.
As much as i crave the conpany of others i choose to put myself in solitude and virtually have company than to risk the rejection i find so familiar. but habits are hard to break even when you make an effort the habit helps you to find a reason to continue it.
if i dont break this habit my life will be a place where i can touch the opposite wall at the same time and my friends will only ever be able to ((((hug)))) me.

There is safety in solitude though nobody can hurt you nothing can be lost or stolen or broken.
rejection can be ignored because nobody else is there to tell you about it.
A dream cant be broken if you never dream it and a plan be cant be ruined if you never plan it
thank the gods i planned burning man before life got it in the way

I could spend the next 2 months not actually physically being with a friend
in fact i could spend it right here in the place i sleep, not moving from my bed
not planning or doing anything other than how to make my life the same
but i knew somehow to plan burning man before life got in the way

there is nothing i need to do, not one single thing to make it happen
those friends who are not there have made it so,
if i did not move from here from now till then, and did no more
because i planned for this burning man life stays in my way

where it my choice, and mine alone i would stay and never see home
but i was wise and made a choice before this moment came to pass
when sat alone in my isolation, by my own hand, i see some sense
and off to burning man i will go for life and a chance to play

Grai, that is the deepest post I have ever seen from you.
Thank you.
Only 50 days to go but it seems like a lifetime.
The desert is going to change things forever.
Not an expectation. A fact.
We love you Dawgie!
Things will be ok.
(((((Grai)))))

[lucky420]

gd, so glad you decided to take the plunge and get your ass over here. There may be safety in solitude but the lonliness can also make it unbearable at times. So welcome back to Nevada, welcome home....