in shock

akatom · Post by **akatom** » Wed Sep 07, 2005 11:00 pm

This was my first burn, and I'm having trouble. It was an emotional and intense week. Then minor disasters before and after the burn at Hagey's hostel kept me fully engaged. Then on the way home from the airport just now I was slammed with Katrina (which I had known about but not had any energy to deal with).

Decompressing from a virgin burn would have been one thing, but now I have to set aside the intense joy and a raw psyche to face / grieve / respond to the hurricane. Any suggestions from the experienced on what to do? Maybe a night of sleep will help.

akatom · Post by **akatom** » Thu Sep 08, 2005 8:41 am

A night of sleep helped a lot.

HughMungus · Post by **HughMungus** » Thu Sep 08, 2005 9:14 am

Just going to Burning Man can be overwhelming, especially your first time. I have yet to really break down when someone asks me "how was it". It was my best year out of six and I've been keeping a lot of mixed emotions bottled up. Maybe the next person who asks will find me sobbing on their shoulder...tears of joy, that is.

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Thu Sep 08, 2005 9:22 am

hey guys -

my burn kinda sucked. i'm realizing it's just that i worked a lot this year (in the cafe, on our art car, taking care of my kids) and helped a lot of other people have their A+ experience, but never got mine. Feelin' pretty jaded 'bout the world right about now. Feel free to breakdown here...tell me about all that bliss you got this year - i need to remember...

and as for advice...try looking at all that world stuff through your new eyes instead of trying to get your eyes to readjust to your old world-view. and, yes, sleep helps a lot.

HughMungus · Post by **HughMungus** » Thu Sep 08, 2005 10:05 am

tisha2 wrote:my burn kinda sucked. i'm realizing it's just that i worked a lot this year (in the cafe, on our art car, taking care of my kids) and helped a lot of other people have their A+ experience, but never got mine. Feelin' pretty jaded 'bout the world right about now. Feel free to breakdown here...tell me about all that bliss you got this year - i need to remember...

I guess I've had enough "A+ experiences" at Burning Man that being able to help others have theirs this year was incredibly satisfying. Now I know why people build public theme camps. You get so much more out of giving like that than you ever will receiving.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 1:49 pm

I'm used to going through intense emotions at the event. Though I had my share, I'm finding that most had to be put off until I was back home this year, so I'm doing some similar shock.

I can't really advise you, but so far I'm working it this way:
Give yourself time, and space. Be lenient. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need, but try to keep sight of your center and not get washed away in it.. Keep contact with those who will understand the rip of emtions associated with the event, but give yourself time alone, too. Get things done, but let yourself rest.

Good luck. You aren't the only one.

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 2:05 pm

DallasPlaya wrote:
tisha2 wrote:my burn kinda sucked. i'm realizing it's just that i worked a lot this year (in the cafe, on our art car, taking care of my kids) and helped a lot of other people have their A+ experience, but never got mine. Feelin' pretty jaded 'bout the world right about now. Feel free to breakdown here...tell me about all that bliss you got this year - i need to remember...
I guess I've had enough "A+ experiences" at Burning Man that being able to help others have theirs this year was incredibly satisfying. Now I know why people build public theme camps. You get so much more out of giving like that than you ever will receiving.

generally, i much prefer receiving to giving...oh, wait - you mean burn experiences! right.

actually, thanks for the tap on the head, DP. i've been swamped with thanks for my work this year and realizing that my presence was incredibly instrumental to a lot of folks. i got selfish for a sec. it's over.

now about that receiving....

spectabillis · Post by **spectabillis** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 2:22 pm

tisha2 wrote:my burn kinda sucked. i'm realizing it's just that i worked a lot this year (in the cafe, on our art car, taking care of my kids) and helped a lot of other people have their A+ experience, but never got mine. Feelin' pretty jaded 'bout the world right about now. Feel free to breakdown here...tell me about all that bliss you got this year - i need to remember...

damn girl, sorry because that really sucks. even though i only met you briefly while you were on the bartender thing, you seem like a fantastic person - with a really cute and warm smile.

this year i did not volunteer for that much for a similar reason, burnout. i did not even tell many people who i was because i kept getting sucked into eplaya drama and explanations that i wanted to leave behind.

you have to take care of your happiness first - thats not being selfish, its prudent. but my heart and care goes out to ya.

and yes, i had a fantastic time. the people... it was and still is all about the great people i met.

archean1 · Post by **archean1** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 2:43 pm

I can definitely appreciate one of Tisha's comments... BM can definitely be work. I had postponed a lot of work on my art car (a love seat on wheels with the lights, stereo, bike hookups, etc.) and I spent too much time working on it (Tues-Weds) rather than hanging out and enjoying all there is to be enjoyed. I felt like I had so much time and money comitted though that I could just drop it. But at the same time, i really enjoyed this year the fact that I participated beyond my attendance, if that makes any sense.

Still, overall I had a great week. My burn night was a bit of a let down, but I almost can't see how it wouldn't have been. . Does anyone else find that burn night is a bit hyped - as in pressure to have the best night? It's kind of like New Years Eve in a way? My Friday night was so incredible, it would have been impossible to follow it up. Anyways, I'm overly reflective and introspective at the moment...

HughMungus · Post by **HughMungus** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 2:52 pm

tisha2 wrote:
DallasPlaya wrote:
tisha2 wrote:my burn kinda sucked. i'm realizing it's just that i worked a lot this year (in the cafe, on our art car, taking care of my kids) and helped a lot of other people have their A+ experience, but never got mine. Feelin' pretty jaded 'bout the world right about now. Feel free to breakdown here...tell me about all that bliss you got this year - i need to remember...
I guess I've had enough "A+ experiences" at Burning Man that being able to help others have theirs this year was incredibly satisfying. Now I know why people build public theme camps. You get so much more out of giving like that than you ever will receiving.
generally, i much prefer receiving to giving...oh, wait - you mean burn experiences! right.

actually, thanks for the tap on the head, DP. i've been swamped with thanks for my work this year and realizing that my presence was incredibly instrumental to a lot of folks. i got selfish for a sec. it's over.

now about that receiving....

Oh I wasn't trying to school you or anything. I think you and I are in the same boat as I was busy as fuck most of the time. I think next year I'm going to make some DP time.

Receiving, eh? Are you fishing for a necklace? Or something else, perhaps? PM me for details.

2_rivers · Post by **2_rivers** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 3:28 pm

I feel it. I live in a rural town in CA, where %70 of people voted for Bush. As soon as I got back I was informed that my older sister attempted suicide and was committed, and that my grandmother had just lost three pints of blood through her stomach lining and is in I.C.U.. People here are generally closed minded and mean to each other, and I could go on ad naseum about the problems and feelings that I've had since my return. Even as soon as I got back to Gerlach where I was staying with some non-burner friends, I encountered adittudes, which because of thier simalarities to the pervasive cultural sickness, thouroughly depressed me. So, I feel you bud. Sleep will definetly help.
One other thing that I'd like to share with you is that compassion, or just sensing compassion is good for you. My buddy here in this podunk-ass town who is a thouroughly brainwashed former forest recon marine (the baddest of the bad asses of the world) just volunteered with the red-cross and is flying out to New Orleans right now.
Much love bud

ZaphodBurner · Post by **ZaphodBurner** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 3:49 pm

tisha2 wrote: my burn kinda sucked. i'm realizing it's just that i worked a lot this year (in the cafe, on our art car, taking care of my kids) and helped a lot of other people have their A+ experience, but never got mine.

You gifted yourself to other people's burn.

That makes you an artist, a performer, a participant, a peer to all of those who work their asses off every year, and an amazing, giving person. You are a Burner. You are real. I don't know you or the people whom you helped, but:

THANK YOU.

In the ungraspable, rhythmic spirit of the Burn, I believe it will come back on you.

-c

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 5:41 pm

ZaphodBurner wrote:
tisha2 wrote: my burn kinda sucked. i'm realizing it's just that i worked a lot this year (in the cafe, on our art car, taking care of my kids) and helped a lot of other people have their A+ experience, but never got mine.
You gifted yourself to other people's burn.

That makes you an artist, a performer, a participant, a peer to all of those who work their asses off every year, and an amazing, giving person. You are a Burner. You are real. I don't know you or the people whom you helped, but:

THANK YOU.

In the ungraspable, rhythmic spirit of the Burn, I believe it will come back on you.

-c

*MWAH!*

i feel it. teary kisses. thank *you*.

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 6:23 pm

I am in shock because I didn't get to meet you oh bar goddess of the ninth realm, queen of the dispossessed, queen of the possessed, dispenser of warmth and warm booze, beacon to the lost and the lust, hierophant of the sublime, treasurer for the peculiar and the olde peculiar, needle in the haystack of love, and finally, playa-mom par excellance.....

(there, now is that enough of KA to kill a cat?)