Alchoholism counselor sought in Burning Man community

help? · Post by **help?** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 10:49 pm

need some advice, please contact [email protected]

please put "alcohol counselor" in the subject line

help? · Post by **help?** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 11:51 pm

Our community is looking for help for a friend...
any of Bill W's friends out there who are burners who can share some advice???

Please email me off list: [email protected]

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 1:41 am

Always rememeber the thing about leading a horse to water...

Booker · Post by **Booker** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 8:07 am

Helping? Noble, for sure, ladymerv, and take good care of yourself in the process. Badger's right that the friend has to decide--you owe it to yourself and to her/him to let that happen. Please keep some of those good intentions focused on yourself and your fellow helpers.

herself · Post by **herself** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 1:02 pm

Still good counseling can help. Someone who understands and is not judgemental. Maybe someone like Oxeon? Though am not sure he has time for this kind of thing.

I think I would have been out of the bulimia a lot lot younger if I had had someone to talk to about it. On the other hand, I didn't want to talk about it because I wasn't ready to change it. Basically I think the most effective way to approach a drinking alcohol is when s/he is sober, and very matter of factly. Like "I had a friend who went through this shit a few years ago and if you ever want to talk to him, here's his card." End of discussion. That way the alcoholic doesn't have to get all embarrassed and everything, and later can ponder the severity of the message that his friends are telling him he needs help.

I was really irritated by the presumptuousness of an old friend when she told me she wouldn't drink w me anymore but on the other hand she sure made her point. It didn't stop me from drinking that night but it probably got me started in the right direction a little bit earlier.

Gee I want this content on MY board : )

http://famouslibrarian.com/servlet/Login

but don't try to add a new thread yet because
I still have to debug that. I can only add threads
at the command line at this point.

harriet

TestesInSac · Post by **TestesInSac** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 1:09 pm

herself wrote: http://famouslibrarian.com/servlet/Login

but don't try to add a new thread yet because
I still have to debug that. I can only add threads
at the command line at this point.

harriet

I tried, it died. Something about an internal server error.

PetsUntilEaten · Post by **PetsUntilEaten** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 1:22 pm

harriet -

I tried a few times - sorry hun - just can't get in.

Ivy · Post by **Ivy** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 1:28 pm

harriet-

same thing as everyone else, I can't get in. Some sort of error.

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 1:52 pm

Like "I had a friend who went through this shit a few years ago and if you ever want to talk to him, here's his card." End of discussion.

Badger's unapproved, unendorsed Tough Love Progrm (TM):

"I Have a friend (you) who I like/love very much and when that person starts drinking they turn into a complete blathering mess/asshole/obnoxious prick/stupid fuck/schizo/etc. I'm afraid that my friend (you) has taxed me to the very end of my ability to tolerate such behavior. For whatever it's worth I think my friend (you) has turned into this out-of-control drunk that I am no longer comfortable being with. I want my friend (you) to know that I'm ready to stand behind whatever choices s/he needs to make to get off this self-destructive path but I also need to say that if my friend can't find the off-ramp that I need to go on in my life without you as an integral part of it. The balls' in your court champ. ...blah, blah, blah.

Tough love sometimes involves speaking tough truths.

PJ · Post by PJ » Sun Sep 14, 2003 4:42 pm

Badger wrote:Badger's unapproved, unendorsed Tough Love Progrm (TM):

"I Have a friend (you) who I like/love very much...a complete blathering mess/asshole/obnoxious prick/stupid fuck/schizo/etc. I'm afraid that my friend (you) has taxed me to the very end of my ability to tolerate such behavior...that I am no longer comfortable being with...

FWIW, when I met Badger he didn't say ANY of this stuff to me. Even though my presence distressed him visibly.

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 6:10 pm

PJ, it wasn't you. Seriously. It was the visible link in my head that defaults back to that nasty cow pussy pic that still makes me gag when I see it.

PJ · Post by PJ » Sun Sep 14, 2003 6:18 pm

Badger wrote:...that nasty cow pussy pic that still makes me gag...

Actually, that's a cow BUTT pic.

Both portals are important though, on various occasions. The gloves work fine for either.

Note that the gloves are a new-fangled thing, an accomadation for the squeamish perhaps. A few years ago nobody bothered with that. Ordinary soap and water was good enough.

herself · Post by **herself** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 6:27 pm

hey you guys, thanks for the feedback.

My network from home has been down most
of the afternoon, which sucks.

Tom: the Error 500 means I've restarted the
application server but it's not accepting
connections yet, or something like that.
I get it a lot myself in testing. It basically
means the application isn't ready to be
used yet because I'm still stopping/starting
it a lot, a problem compounded by a slow
network connection.

Pets and Ivy, let me investigate why you guys
can't get in, will report back.

thanks for your patiences, you guys!
will let you know when it's worth trying again!

harriet

Lady Merv · Post by **Lady Merv** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 10:46 am

So I've learned a lot here, and I really appreciate all the help- esp with those of you that called and posted. What I have learned is that I can't help this person unless they want help. And at this point I don't think this person is close to admitting that they have a problem. I also learned that some people need to hit bottom before they look for help, and obviously this person hasn't hit their "bottom" yet. Sooooo thank you all for the education, and the kind words...and hopefully in the not to distant future my friend will realize they have a problem and will seek help themselves...
I will be waiting in the wings for that day. Until then I am going to give them "tough love" and stay outta their way.

much love to you all
Thank You
Merv
NYC

Lo5150 · Post by **Lo5150** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 11:06 am

I have been sober over 25 years in AA and NA. There are many many FUN sober camps at Burning Man-the Hokey Pokey is right there by the cafe-a great group of folks from Mexico. No one can make this person stop. I had over 13 years at one time and relapsed, and when people tried to shove it on me, it made me back off further. Some folks never make it, like my dad. Some folks do. It is a choice. 12 step meetings are all over the world. And we DO know how to have fun, let me tell you! PLUS, we get to remember everything!!

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 11:50 pm

Alcohol, and/or alcoholism, or treatment thereof, may not be the problem. Often works only as an excuse for just plain fucking up. Whatever label you put on a personal problem that contributes to causing damage, the person just has to resolve to not fuck up, without outside help or hope of acknowledgement, do the best they can, and live with the consequences of the damage done. But, sure, a shrink might help. Either way, miracle cures are snake oil, especially if you paint Alcohol Treatment as such when the root problem involves something more violent in nature than putting lips to a glass.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Fri Sep 11, 2009 9:00 pm

sorry, but bob is off the wagon.

Too bad you were late

Alchoholism counselor sought in Burning Man community

Alchoholism counselor sought in Burning Man community

Friends of Bill W. theme camp sought

Alchoholism is a bummer- and thank you all for your help

Been sober 25 years