Things that sound dirty but aren't.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 2:28 pm

Okay, I stole it from elsewhere.

But with a thread called wood construction question I just couldn't help myself.

The CO · Post by **The CO** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 2:29 pm

Steaming manhole.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:07 pm

http://www.molestationnursery.com

EspressoDude · Post by **EspressoDude** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:23 pm

MUDBATH

Ranger Genius · Post by **Ranger Genius** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:08 pm

Ugly Dougly wrote:http://www.molestationnursery.com

That's a fantastic example of a poorly-thought-out URL. Kinda like
http://www.expertsexchange.com

Desert Duck · Post by **Desert Duck** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:14 pm

Nope, they've got sex chane info on that site.

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:22 pm

at work we have little cubbyhole mailboxes, so at meetings if i need something in non-digital form i get to say:

"Put a hardcopy in my box."

with a straight face.

i love that.

The CO · Post by **The CO** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:37 pm

"Put the shackles on the right way or I'll make you wear that bridle."
-Me at work one day.

BigCock · Post by **BigCock** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:43 pm

software for your hardrive

diane o'thirst · Post by **diane o'thirst** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:24 am

Just listen in on a dressage schooling session. You'll get more double-entendres than you can shake a stick at.

"He's being a pig! Get his head up!" being one...

RingO'Fire · Post by **RingO'Fire** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:54 am

This is a picture I took at a plant sale at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens.

Of course I didn't think of this until much later...

[approaching sales clerk]"Excuse me, m'am. Yes, I'd like to get a woodie and was wondering if you could help me with that?"

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 9:28 am

Zoom

we have some nice ruby reds here in florida

BigCock · Post by **BigCock** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 1:58 pm

sputnik wrote:Boy do I need some fresh fruit ...

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 2:53 pm

My first job on the bridge was on the Steel Erection Crew...

bb

Post by **AntiM** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 3:06 pm

My friends attending navy nuke school were studying Heat Transfer and Fluid Flow.

robotland · Post by **robotland** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 4:46 pm

Jury's still out on "clothe the 5 minutes after skeleton"....

It's more NAUGHTY than DIRTY, but...."Void Where Prohibited" always seemed to me to mean Pooping In An Inappropriate place.

Or...."Passive Solar". *Snort* Like the SUN can be on the BOTTOM. *Duh!*

Desert Duck · Post by **Desert Duck** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 4:49 pm

Carpet Cleaner?

Cabanasprings · Post by **Cabanasprings** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:08 pm

I played this 20 questions game last weekend where this magic eightball like thing asks the questions and then guesses what you are thinking.

One of the questions was:

Does it come in a box?

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:51 pm

Colonel Sanders comes in buckets. And if you're from the mid-south, you know Krystal comes in the sack...

And while we're talking about people, how about that kid... Beaver Cleaver?

bb

Desert Duck · Post by **Desert Duck** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 7:30 pm

"Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"

Love it.

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:38 pm

Question: What is a four letter word for intercourse?
Answer...

(wait for it...)

Talk

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 4:33 pm

"Squaw got nine inches overnight."

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 10:38 am

(This really happend at work: tech support)

Tech Support Rep tells the customer to "Press the red button."
Customer replies: "Without taking it to dinner first?"

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 12:43 pm

AntiM wrote:My trim is plain old boring white.

Atar · Post by **Atar** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 1:32 pm

"Animal Planet.... It grabs you."

"Flair... takes you, every week." (Flair is a womens magazine, and this is an actual comercial on Dutch radio)

On the Dutch Nokia's you'll get the following message when trying to unlock it: "Press * to unlock"
I dunno if this is true for the US, but a bunghole is sometimes refered to as a star in the Netherlands.

edit: Also, whenever someone speaks about themselves as "being part of a whole" I crack myself up silently

Lorgasm · Post by **Lorgasm** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 10:11 am

"tongue thruster"

My dentist called me this when I was 10. Looking back on it, I wonder if I should add this on my resume for future use.

That reminds me of another word:
Oral Fixation.

My sister said I had this when I was addicted to sugarless gum.

cheers,
Lorgasm

So, I'm a tongue thruster with an oral fixation. Who's the lucky girl.....

Post by **AntiM** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 10:19 am

There was a deli in Chicago (long ago) that served up a yummy alcoholic chocolate shake called Oral Fixation. My friend just about dropped off her chair when I asked the very cute waiter, "I'd like an Oral Fixation with whipped cream on top, please."

Can't reacl what was in the drink, but damn it was good.

Lorgasm · Post by **Lorgasm** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 11:01 am

"lock box" Al Gore

Chai Guy · Post by **Chai Guy** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 11:15 am

Davoid · Post by **Davoid** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 11:54 am

Melissa Marcus, Miss Kumquat Festival 2005