Why I'm going to Hell (Today)™

Jane Eric · Post by **Jane Eric** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:07 pm

Get your ticket for the boat ride down the River Styx. Going to Hell in a handbasket is the cheap ride. What did you do to earn today's passage?

RebA! · Post by **RebA!** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:11 pm

Told some fundie on the weight watcher message board that I was happy being a heathen.

But then again.. can an atheist.. really go to hell?

Jane Eric · Post by **Jane Eric** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:14 pm

I just think of the boat ride as Pirates of the Caribbean. Over and over and over and over.

PJ · Post by PJ » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:16 pm

After five days of BIG, WONDERFUL meals in Italy I still hadn't taken a shit. It hit me on the train ride between Venice and Milano. Made it into what passes for a public restroom in Italy (no toilets, just holes in the floor). Didn't paint my shoes or pant legs too badly. But the I-talians hadn't provided toilet paper. In my windbreaker was a tourist's guidebook. Only after the deed did I realize I'd wiped with pages from the 'Cathedrals' section.

So not only am I going to hell, I'm going to Roman Catholic hell.

precipitate · Post by **precipitate** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:17 pm

Nothing interesting, really. A little premarital sex. A little uncharitable
behavior. I lusted a bit, and ate half a box of Cheez-Its for an afternoon
snack. I lied to my boss about how busy things were (told him they
weren't so he wouldn't stress out). Just yer average day.

Jane Eric · Post by **Jane Eric** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:18 pm

Yes, but do you feel guilty?

antron · Post by **antron** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:19 pm

i once got stuck on pirates of the carribean for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. the ride stopped, but the singing continued, along with most of the animatronics. during the yo ho yo ho, a teenage voice would come on asking that we stay in the boats to avoid injury.

now i'm worried that it was foreshadowing something

Booker · Post by **Booker** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:08 pm

>>can an atheist.. really go to hell?

Yeah, but they're allowed to enjoy it.

Jane Eric · Post by **Jane Eric** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 11:51 am

I'm off to Hell (Today) for fucking with my sister's head. She pissed me off so I'm withholding information knowing she'll hit the big red panic button. Too bad, so sad, sucks to be her.

WarmFuzzy · Post by **WarmFuzzy** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 12:56 pm

I made the mistake of wearing one of my cute little San Francisco (people do dress great there, don't they?) "scooter girl" dresses down here in Wonder Bread suburbia (Canyon Country, So CA).

I think all of the mommy-moms wearing their one-size-fits-all Old Navy jumpers have voted me into to hell for that. At least that is what I believe, judging from the looks I got while in line for my daily shot of "will to live" at Starbucks.

Hmmmmph!
I may be going to hell, but at least I'll look good when I get there!

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 1:19 pm

I spilled my seed.

AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

WarmFuzzy · Post by **WarmFuzzy** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 1:26 pm

[quote="blyslv"]I spilled my seed.

Now why didn't I think of that??

Last Real Burner · Post by **Last Real Burner** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 12:10 pm

Yes, Hell is waiting patiently on most of you. This may help

completly,
mr smith

precipitate · Post by **precipitate** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 2:19 pm

You've probably seen this before, but I recently discovered that not only
am I going to hell, I'll be relegated to the seventh circle. Whee!

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

Zane5100 · Post by **Zane5100** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 2:59 pm

I've climbed up to the 2nd level.

I must be slipping...

OregonRed · Post by **OregonRed** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 3:04 pm

I'm with Zane...stuck on lust

Tho, circle #3 (gluttony) is lookin' pretty good

precipitate · Post by **precipitate** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 3:07 pm

> I must be slipping...

Nah, you're just a better person than I am.

angelface · Post by **angelface** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 3:18 pm

I'm at the 6th level.. but probably should be higher, because I actually laughed out loud at several of the test questions.. like what the hell does "Do you eat at restaurants several times a week?" have to do with going to hell..

precipitate · Post by **precipitate** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 3:20 pm

> "Do you eat at restaurants several times a week?"

You are not frugal?

angelface · Post by **angelface** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 3:22 pm

what if it's Taco Bell.. cheaper than going to the grocery store..

RebA! · Post by **RebA!** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 3:23 pm

Darn I am still stuck in the 7th level. Fuck I swear I was doing my best to get into level 8.

angelface · Post by **angelface** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 3:24 pm

so.. anywhoo, apparently I'm going to hell today for going out to sushi for lunch..

and I thought it woulda been for the sex, alcohol, and drugs.

WarmFuzzy · Post by **WarmFuzzy** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 3:30 pm

Boy, that is a big surprise (NOT)!!

I'm in the 2nd circle with all of the other lustful people.

Pass the tanning butter.....

OregonRed · Post by **OregonRed** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 3:40 pm

I'm going to hell for showing my 9 year old how e-playa works...and, of course, instilling the desire in both of my daughters to come to BRC.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 4:22 pm

Pre, Reba - guess I'll meet you there at the 7th.

and the score = "extreme".

Booker · Post by **Booker** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 5:26 pm

Boring old lustful for me too, with a strong showing by gluttony. But hey, treachery was up there too. So watch yer ass!

RebA! · Post by **RebA!** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 5:52 pm

And yet you guys still like hanging out with us 7th level chicks.. dont cha know we will corrupt you.

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 6:21 pm

have i ever been to a strip club? hell i worked in one!

PJ · Post by PJ » Thu Sep 18, 2003 7:45 pm

Seems I'm a "Heretic":

Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis

You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

Did you say "limbs of women?" I can handle that. I dig chicks with strong arms. Always have.

And there's lots of fires where I'm going. Seems appropriate.

Jane Eric · Post by **Jane Eric** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 8:51 pm

The Sixth Level for me as well. And I have strong arms.

Why I'm going to Hell (Today)™

Why I'm going to Hell (Today)™

Fashion Hell

Seed spilling!

Oh! My!!!...

2nd circle, here I come~