deadbabiesthatsalwaysawinnerright.png
your stupid joke here
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Consequences
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2019 8:48 pm
- Burning Since: 2013
- Location: Sacramento, Ca
Re: your stupid joke here
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It like turning ketchup into mustard over here.
Dr. G
Dr. G
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Simon of the Playa
- Posts: 19428
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
- Burning Since: 1996
- Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins
- Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Re: your stupid joke here
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Frida Be You & Me
Re: your stupid joke here
"Fortune favors the bold" is a mistranslated old dragon saying.
They started it and laugh at it all the time.
The true saying is "Fortune FLAVORS the bold.
They like the crunchy bits!
They started it and laugh at it all the time.
The true saying is "Fortune FLAVORS the bold.
They like the crunchy bits!
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
Re: your stupid joke here
Oooh, dragons ...
“No scale, no horns, no claws, no fangs ...
... just soft n pink”
Old Dragon proverb.
“No scale, no horns, no claws, no fangs ...
... just soft n pink”
Old Dragon proverb.
Re: your stupid joke here
A man seeking to join a south Texas sheriffs dept. is being interviewed.
The Sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted." Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?"
"That's the attitude we want," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"
The Sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted." Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?"
"That's the attitude we want," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"
Re: your stupid joke here
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her
ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her
ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"
Last edited by Yasarn on Thu Aug 22, 2019 9:07 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Re: your stupid joke here
A blonde is on a plane headed toward Toronto. During the flight she decides to get up from her coach seat and sits in first class. The stewardess approaches and says " Im sorry maam but these seats are reserved for first class patrons, you'll have to return to your seat" ..the blonde simply says, "Im blonde , Im beautiful, and Im headed to Toronto".
The stewardess tells the co-pilot. The co-pilot approaches the woman and says," Maam, this section is for first class only. Please go back your seat now" The blonde simply says," Im blonde, Im beautiful, and im headed to Toronto".
Finally the head pilot tells the co-pilot and stewardess. "My wife is a blonde, I speak their language, I'll handle this."
The pilot whispers something in the blondes ear, and she says.."oh my God, Im sorry and thank you!"
The co-pilot and stewardess ask what did he tell this woman to change her mind???
The pilot said...'"I just told her first class isn't going to Toronto!!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde locks her keys in her car. As she tries to open the door with a hanger, a man approaches and says "do you need help?"
As he looks into the car, he approaches the other side and opens the passenger door and says "Miss, this doors open!!"
The blonde says...."Duh, I already got that one!!!!!!!!!!"
The stewardess tells the co-pilot. The co-pilot approaches the woman and says," Maam, this section is for first class only. Please go back your seat now" The blonde simply says," Im blonde, Im beautiful, and im headed to Toronto".
Finally the head pilot tells the co-pilot and stewardess. "My wife is a blonde, I speak their language, I'll handle this."
The pilot whispers something in the blondes ear, and she says.."oh my God, Im sorry and thank you!"
The co-pilot and stewardess ask what did he tell this woman to change her mind???
The pilot said...'"I just told her first class isn't going to Toronto!!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde locks her keys in her car. As she tries to open the door with a hanger, a man approaches and says "do you need help?"
As he looks into the car, he approaches the other side and opens the passenger door and says "Miss, this doors open!!"
The blonde says...."Duh, I already got that one!!!!!!!!!!"
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tatonka
- Posts: 3410
- Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 4:28 pm
- Burning Since: 2013
- Camp Name: Camp Threat
- Location: oregon
Re: your stupid joke here
how much are dead battery's worth
they are free of charge
they are free of charge
Tales told
Of battles won
Of things we've done
Caligula would grin
Of battles won
Of things we've done
Caligula would grin
Re: your stupid joke here
Ducks are just all terrain chickens!!!
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
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Meat Hunter
- Posts: 965
- Joined: Sun Aug 18, 2013 9:44 pm
- Burning Since: 2014
Re: your stupid joke here
I was in my local Ace Hardware store today and I happened to meet the owner as we were both walking down the plumbing fitting isle.
I ask him, "How many folks do you have working here now?"
To which he replied, "About half of them."
I ask him, "How many folks do you have working here now?"
To which he replied, "About half of them."
Specializing in Calibrating Windsocks -- Any where, Any Time, and Any elevation.
Vidi ego exars.
Vidi ego exars.
Re: your stupid joke here
Headlong wrote:I used to have a budgie who always became very vocal whenever I put the music from The Rocky Horror Picture Show on. Never knew if he liked it or was protesting...
At any rate, he felt very strongly about it
4.669
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That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
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Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.
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tatonka
- Posts: 3410
- Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 4:28 pm
- Burning Since: 2013
- Camp Name: Camp Threat
- Location: oregon
Re: your stupid joke here
Is buttcheeks one word? or should I spread them apart ?
Tales told
Of battles won
Of things we've done
Caligula would grin
Of battles won
Of things we've done
Caligula would grin
Re: your stupid joke here
Youtube thumbnail: clickbait or deterrent?
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You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
4.669
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.
Re: your stupid joke here
Bigfoot
Tall, hairy, big feet, smells, doesn't like his picture taken, and maybe lives in Oregon.
If he's from Oregon, it's possible he's just a really tall hippy.
4.669
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.
Re: your stupid joke here
Masturbation is Necrophilia, if you are dead inside.
"Promote what you love, instead of bashing what you hate." But it's so much fun to bash!!! Promote Love, Promote Love.
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Popeye
- Posts: 769
- Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2013 10:39 pm
- Burning Since: 2013
- Camp Name: Beaverton
- Location: Where the east wind blows
Re: your stupid joke here
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven:
1st woman- Hi Wanda
2nd woman- Hi Sylvia, Hows you die?
1st woman- I froze to death
2nd woman- How horrible!
1st woman- It wans't so bvad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman- I dide of a massive heart attack. I suspected my husband of cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead I found him all alone watching TV.
1st woman- So what happened?
2nd woman I was so sure there was another woman that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic, and down in the basement. Then I wen through every closet and looked under all the beds. I kept this up until I looked everywhere, and finally became so exhausted I keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman- To bad you didn't look in the freezer-- we'd both be alive.
1st woman- Hi Wanda
2nd woman- Hi Sylvia, Hows you die?
1st woman- I froze to death
2nd woman- How horrible!
1st woman- It wans't so bvad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman- I dide of a massive heart attack. I suspected my husband of cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead I found him all alone watching TV.
1st woman- So what happened?
2nd woman I was so sure there was another woman that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic, and down in the basement. Then I wen through every closet and looked under all the beds. I kept this up until I looked everywhere, and finally became so exhausted I keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman- To bad you didn't look in the freezer-- we'd both be alive.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?” Mary Oliver
Re: your stupid joke here
> You literally had useful advise you could have given them on the failings of their web interface, but when asked what you would change about the experience, you just said 'Free Kittens!'?
>>Yep
> I can't even be mad.
>>Yep
> I can't even be mad.
4.669
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.
.
That's one word I regret googling during breakfast.
.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
, but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.
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TT120
- Posts: 1772
- Joined: Fri Jun 03, 2011 8:43 pm
- Burning Since: 2012
- Camp Name: Orphans TOO!
- Location: Sacramento, CA.
- Contact:
Re: your stupid joke here
What goes good with a Corona virus?
Lyme disease.
Lyme disease.
Life's a bitch, then you go to Burning Man - Unjonharley
We welcome the stranger, but that doesn't mean we have to like them, nor they us, and that's alright. - AntiM
W6BJD
We welcome the stranger, but that doesn't mean we have to like them, nor they us, and that's alright. - AntiM
W6BJD
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Douglaszet
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Thu Jan 30, 2020 11:01 am
- Burning Since: 2007
- Camp Name: Douglaszet
your stupid joke here
I see that many of you are using old and vintage cymbals, which i cant get here in Slovenija since the culture of world percussion is strongly evolving in last ten years.
Can anyone of you tell me which cymbals you recommend from todays new series?
Thanks a lot,
Primoz
Can anyone of you tell me which cymbals you recommend from todays new series?
Thanks a lot,
Primoz
Re: your stupid joke here
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
To hide in cherry trees.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Works pretty well, doesn't it!
To hide in cherry trees.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Works pretty well, doesn't it!
Dancing is a state of mind and may not even involve movement at all.
~Simon of the Playa
~Simon of the Playa
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Simon of the Playa
- Posts: 19428
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
- Burning Since: 1996
- Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins
- Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Re: your stupid joke here
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Frida Be You & Me
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Simon of the Playa
- Posts: 19428
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
- Burning Since: 1996
- Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins
- Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Re: your stupid joke here
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Frida Be You & Me
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Simon of the Playa
- Posts: 19428
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
- Burning Since: 1996
- Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins
- Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Re: your stupid joke here
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Frida Be You & Me
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A-RockLeFrench
- Posts: 841
- Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 8:03 pm
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- Camp Name: THREAT
- Location: USA
Re: your stupid joke here
A Mormon knocks on a door. Door is opened by a 12 year old boy smoking a cigarette, holding a cocktail and wearing his mothers night gown. The startled missionary says, "Uh, is your mom or dad home?"
"What the hell do you think, mister?"
"What the hell do you think, mister?"
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Dr. Pyro
- Posts: 4728
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- Camp Name: Barbie Death Camp & Wine Bistro
- Location: Meadow Vista, CA
- Contact:
Re: your stupid joke here
One of the best ones I've seen on this thread in quite a long time! Thank you for the laugh.A-RockLeFrench wrote: ↑Fri Feb 21, 2020 8:13 pmA Mormon knocks on a door. Door is opened by a 12 year old boy smoking a cigarette, holding a cocktail and wearing his mothers night gown. The startled missionary says, "Uh, is your mom or dad home?"
"What the hell do you think, mister?"