your stupid joke here

All things outside of Burning Man.
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Ratty
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Ratty » Sat Feb 13, 2016 4:17 pm

Yup. Real stupud.
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Those aren't buttermilk biscuits I'm lying on Savannah

Pictures or it didn't happen Greycoyote

Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Arthur Schopenhauer

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FIGJAM
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Sun Feb 14, 2016 9:14 am

Going to Subway is a form of prostitution.

Hiring someone to do your wife's job!!!
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me

Thecatman
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Thecatman » Mon Feb 15, 2016 1:33 am

Early one evening at a bar a man says to this beautiful woman. "Can I buy you a drink"?
The woman replies "Sure, but it won't get you anything"?
A few hours later the man asks again "Mind if I buy you a drink"
"Sure but it won't et you anywhere".
Last call gets announced and the man asks if he could take her to his apartment.
"OK but you won't very far" she replied
They get inside the apartment and the man says "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I want you for my wife".
The woman says excitedly "Well that's different. Send her in".
My cats are cuter than your grandkids!

"Government is not the solution to our problems, government is the problem." Ronald Reagan

MimiRKarr
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by MimiRKarr » Tue Feb 23, 2016 11:54 am

A woman walks into a bar and a man sits down next to her. The man says "Hey, can I buy you a drink" And the woman says "No I'm allergic" And he says "What happens" and she says "My legs" and he asks "What they swell?" And she says "No, the spread"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA c:
Time has a way of removing illusions.
Love is life. So if you miss love, you miss life.

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Canoe
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Canoe » Sun Feb 28, 2016 10:37 pm

So I was at the doctor's office and he decided to prescribe a drug for an illness. But when he reached into his pocket to grab a pen so he could write the prescription, he instead pulled out a thermometer. He looked at it, then turned to me and said "Great, some asshole's got my pen."
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
... but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

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Rez
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Rez » Mon Feb 29, 2016 3:35 am

Bill said Hillary Clinton has a Fluffy Bear Rug at home in front of the fireplace.

But don't worry...

It's not Dead.

It's just too scared to move.
" I WILL call you pretty for the use of a Shower"

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Patsh
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Patsh » Sat Mar 05, 2016 8:30 pm

I bought myself some sexy, crotchless panties, for my husband's enjoyment...
I dropped my skirt, and asked, with a grin, "You want some of this?"

He said, "Hell no!!! Do you see what it did to your underwear?"

:wink:
formerly, Triken

keep on triken' Mamma!
Triken' ma blues away....
.


Theatre is Life
Cinema is Art
Television is Furniture

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lucky420
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by lucky420 » Sun Mar 06, 2016 7:37 am

Funny jokes everyone.

I can never remember a joke to save my ass. :? :mrgreen:
Oh my god, it's HUGE!

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Canoe
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Canoe » Sun Mar 06, 2016 3:56 pm

We've made it to the edge of the playa. So far, so good. If we can make it across the playa and over the fence, we'll fit right in and they'll never find us.
so far, so good.jpg
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Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
... but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

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Canoe
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Canoe » Wed Mar 09, 2016 7:36 pm

Friend at work today: one of his co-workers was teasing him about his shirt looking just like Captain Kirk's shirt from Star Trek. His response was to grab the lapel of his vest and open it to reveal the stylized "A" of his Captain James T. Kirk shirt.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
... but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

Thecatman
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Location: Carson City. About 125 miles south of BRC

Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Thecatman » Mon Mar 14, 2016 4:56 pm

lucky420 wrote:Funny jokes everyone.

I can never remember a joke to save my ass. :? :mrgreen:
Several of the ones I've posted I get from KOH at 7:30am. They have "the joke of the day"
My cats are cuter than your grandkids!

"Government is not the solution to our problems, government is the problem." Ronald Reagan

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Lonesomebri
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Lonesomebri » Sat Mar 19, 2016 10:55 pm

How can you tell the Burner at a campfire?

They are the ones with EL wire, LEDs and glow sticks.

How can you tell the Burner at a campfire sing-along?

They are the ones with a DJ

How can you tell the Burner at a campfire hotdog roast?

They are the one gifting your hotdogs to themselves.
Camp THREAT: Dominating the porta potties 3 years running.
"If this is the best of all possible worlds, what are the others?"
- Voltaire, Candide

digitalmorgan
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by digitalmorgan » Sun Mar 20, 2016 12:18 am

A skeleton walks into a bar.
Bartender asks 'what can i get'cha?"
Skeleton says " A beer... and a mop."

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FIGJAM
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:30 am

If you sit on an ice burg to long you'll get polaroid's!!!
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me

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FIGJAM
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:59 pm

An ePlayan was surprised to be able to buy an entire Chess set at a pawn shop!!! :shock:
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me

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dragonpilot
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by dragonpilot » Wed Mar 23, 2016 4:46 pm

A blowfly walks into a bar and says "Is that stool taken?"
Don't bore your friends with all your troubles. Tell your enemies instead, for they will delight in hearing about them.

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dragonpilot
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by dragonpilot » Wed Mar 23, 2016 4:50 pm

What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

One will see you later, whereas the other will see you in awhile.
Don't bore your friends with all your troubles. Tell your enemies instead, for they will delight in hearing about them.

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Zona
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Zona » Wed Mar 23, 2016 7:48 pm

The Joke is: You can't do it with the knowing about.

Let me be the first to tell.......ever hear that before? First guess spelling, not looking back, all of it...


Ya.....


You are ten year up the bull shit ladder, man use the math, to stand here and say that, I should be glad, but I am sad.

Had to do it. The news is a lie, blame me. I DARE YOU.

So lets take you through one of them.......Is there even an airline called German Wings? Can the plane go the speed of sound to the crash site........why is it people back up bull shit with the random. We hide our eyes, you need to know people and ask, to want to.
P.S, I am mindcontrol, I know it, I know how it works, if you come around me you will be, 100 % true.
You paid for that, tax money, do you know how mad I am about that?

P.S.S. Robin is El Chapo

GET THAT FUCKERS!!!!
Laika and me went on a ride.

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tatonka
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by tatonka » Fri Mar 25, 2016 9:24 am

Image
Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed by the masses.
-Plato

If a good man is offered power , he has to lower himself to pick it up .

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delle
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by delle » Sat Mar 26, 2016 10:56 am

...tho the seeds can be quite delicious...

Image
Worry is a misuse of imagination

She had blue skin, And so did he.
He kept it hid And so did she.
They searched for blue Their whole life through,
Then passed right by- And never knew.”

Shel Silverstein

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Ugly Dougly
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Ugly Dougly » Sun Apr 03, 2016 10:36 am

Ooh! I know this one!
"Ice cream doesn't have bones!"
Zona wrote:The Joke is: You can't do it with the knowing about.

Let me be the first to tell.......ever hear that before? First guess spelling, not looking back, all of it...


Ya.....


You are ten year up the bull shit ladder, man use the math, to stand here and say that, I should be glad, but I am sad.

Had to do it. The news is a lie, blame me. I DARE YOU.

So lets take you through one of them.......Is there even an airline called German Wings? Can the plane go the speed of sound to the crash site........why is it people back up bull shit with the random. We hide our eyes, you need to know people and ask, to want to.
P.S, I am mindcontrol, I know it, I know how it works, if you come around me you will be, 100 % true.
You paid for that, tax money, do you know how mad I am about that?

P.S.S. Robin is El Chapo

GET THAT FUCKERS!!!!

ranger magnum
Posts: 734
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:05 pm
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Camp Name: Outpost Tokyo
Location: santa barbara

Re: your stupid joke here

Post by ranger magnum » Mon Apr 04, 2016 7:23 pm

A baby harbor seal walks into a bar.

The bartenders asks "whaddya want?"

The seal says, "anything but a Canadian club on the rocks!"
Praise the Lowered

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tatonka
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by tatonka » Tue Apr 05, 2016 7:29 pm

The Hooker
An Illegal Immigrant picks up a hooker.
"Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?" he asks." $100"she replies."
In broken English, he says, "Do you do immigrant style? "No" she says.
"I pay you $ 200 to do immigrant style." "No," she says, not knowing what immigrant style is.
"I pay you $ 300." "No," she says.
"I pay you $ 400 "- "No," she says.
So finally he says, "OK, I pay $ 1,000 to do immigrant style."
She thinks, Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now.
I've had every kind of request from weirdoes from every part of the world. How bad could immigrant style be?
So she agrees and has sex with him.
Finally, they finish. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting, but that was ok. So, what exactly is immigrant style?"
The illegal immigrant replies: "You send bill to Government."
Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed by the masses.
-Plato

If a good man is offered power , he has to lower himself to pick it up .

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FIGJAM
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Tue Apr 05, 2016 9:07 pm

Diabetes: Ancient Greek god of no cake.
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me

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FIGJAM
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Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:39 am
Location: apache junction az.

Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Sat Apr 09, 2016 8:46 am

If a man says anything in a forest and a woman doesn't hear him, is he STILL wrong??? :?
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me

User avatar
FIGJAM
Posts: 10068
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:39 am
Location: apache junction az.

Re: your stupid joke here

Post by FIGJAM » Sun Apr 17, 2016 9:09 am

Who would win in a death match between Miley Cyrus and Justin Beber???


We all would!!!!!!!!
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me

Thecatman
Posts: 3044
Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:47 pm
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Camp Name: alone
Location: Carson City. About 125 miles south of BRC

Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Thecatman » Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:53 pm

A man had been murdered.
The police find hat his name is Juan Gonzalez.
A trainee detective asks his trainer "How do you think he was killed"?
"With a golf gun" replies the senior detective
"A golf gun? I never heard of that. What is a golf gun"? asks the rookie
The senior officer replies "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan".
My cats are cuter than your grandkids!

"Government is not the solution to our problems, government is the problem." Ronald Reagan

Thecatman
Posts: 3044
Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:47 pm
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Camp Name: alone
Location: Carson City. About 125 miles south of BRC

Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Thecatman » Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:58 pm

FIGJAM wrote:If a man says anything in a forest and a woman doesn't hear him, is he STILL wrong??? :?
"I was married by a judge. I should've asked for a jury". George Burns
My cats are cuter than your grandkids!

"Government is not the solution to our problems, government is the problem." Ronald Reagan

ranger magnum
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Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:05 pm
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Camp Name: Outpost Tokyo
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Re: your stupid joke here

Post by ranger magnum » Thu May 26, 2016 7:49 pm

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?


You can hang the picture with one nail...
Praise the Lowered

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Shoeshine
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Camp Name: Camp DIY
Location: San Deigo, CA

Re: your stupid joke here

Post by Shoeshine » Thu May 26, 2016 9:01 pm

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff...

BAA DUM TSSS



Thank you, I'll be here all week.
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

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