URGENT!!! SAN FRANCISCO UNDER ATTACK!!!

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 2:01 pm

I thought I heard a car alarm, but it was cut off just as I opened my door and saw a flight of fighter aircraft scream over the rooftops. It was then that I realized it was no car alarm. It had been an air-raid siren no doubt silenced by these jets which even now swoop around raining death and destruction upon my beloved city! There! Another group just roared overhead rattling my windows and driving my cats under the bed in abject terror.

Luckily, from what I can tell the attacks seem to be concentrated on the Marina district. -Those poor, rich bastards in their SUV’s! I bet they are sorry for closing the air defense stations up there to make room for more trendy bars and boutiques now! It's horrible to see the swift ascent of these deadly machines followed by a quick roll and then down again to drop more precision guided catastrophe.

It’s awful! They set up and scream in, their computers deciding which targets will inflict the most damage and suffering. I can't bear to imagine the wails and broken bodies of the victims of this air attack. I must close my inner eyes to their blood darkening the dust and rubble on its way to pool in the gutters and run down into the cold sewer grates. When the attack is over, the hospitals will be crammed with burned and dismembered citizens rendered unrecognizable by their bandaged heaving and screaming.

Obviously these murderers are as well equipped as their American counterparts. I bet that cruise missiles are coming in off the water to sever our infrastructure. Water and electricity are sure to be the first 'military' targets to be hit. Damn! I better type faster!

Through my binoculars I have caught glimpses of their insignias, but they are too fast to read. The jets are blue, could this be a pre-emptive attack from the Smurf nation? I will dig my radio scanner out and see if I can pick up any radio chatter. It should be an easy question to answer; everybody knows that Smurfs have to replace all normal adjectives and verbs with variations of the word 'smurf.' GODDAMN YOU, YOU EVIL RUNTY BLUE BASTARDS!!!

If you had planned to come into SF on this lovely day for the Fleet Week airshow, I sugg- -HEY! Wait a second! It’s Fleet Week. Those must be our jets! Those are our jets! YAY!!! GO USA!!! GO USA!!!

*WHEW*

It is *such* a relief to know that the terror and horror of our military air forces are exclusively visited upon fanatical and backwards peoples for their own good.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be them…

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 2:05 pm

Ahem.

papaver · Post by **papaver** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 2:15 pm

Don Muerto wrote:Luckily, from what I can tell the attacks seem to be concentrated on the Marina district.

lolz...

III · Post by **III** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 2:24 pm

> They set up and scream in

my house in san diego is in a canyon about 1/2 mile off the end of the miramar runway. during the air show, the blue angels like to use it to sneak up on the air show crowd. i've regularly seen them screaming down the canyon, and seen the tree tops on the other side of the canyon above the airplanes. they're a little outsid eof rock throwing reach, but with a good slingshot and some decent timing it's conceivable that i could bounce rocks off of their canopies.

my dogs do not like the blue angels.

Taniwha · Post by **Taniwha** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:18 pm

I've actually been a witness to a fleet-week style airshow out on the playa - given by a couple of F4s back when the Reno ANG used to fly them. Really cool - they snuck up on us at 200 ft and pulled vertical as the came over.

Blackrock used to be much busier airspace - I remember B52s flying through at 500ft periodically years ago too

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:25 pm

Fuck Fleet Week, and I mean that most sincerely.

I don't agree with the basic principle behind it. Next time you watch them scream overhead, imagine them dropping cluster munitions or a thermobaric bomb on you. That is the purpose of those machines, -they don't fly pretty formations for the Iraqis.

However, if the message MUST be spread, how about just painting a C-130 flesh pink with veiny highlights, strapping two big spheres below the tail and having it tow a banner that reads:

"THE PENTAGON IS HUNG LIKE A MULE"

It would amount to the same and save the US taxpayers a lot of cabbage.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:34 pm

Every year the Blue Angels grace us as well for "Seafair".

I hate them I really do. And for one week I hate every person who stands there oohing and awwing while the sound of death and war climbs up my spine.

But that's just me.

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:36 pm

No, that is me too. Nothing puts me in a bigger grouch than being buzzed by military jets and seeing the abject glee that my hominid brethren get from the same thing.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:39 pm

Then again - apparently we're both to the left of the Dalai Fucking Lama.

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:40 pm

The Dalai Lama is a FUCKING fascist!

(oops, wrong thread)

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:45 pm

Hey - when the mothership lands be sure to send them my way too - I think I forgot to leave them a forwarding address.

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:48 pm

The Blue Angels shot the Mothership down.

DE FACTO · Post by **DE FACTO** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:50 pm

Taniwha wrote:I've actually been a witness to a fleet-week style airshow out on the playa - given by a couple of F4s back when the Reno ANG used to fly them. Really cool - they snuck up on us at 200 ft and pulled vertical as the came over.

Blackrock used to be much busier airspace - I remember B52s flying through at 500ft periodically years ago too

they did that in 1994 when i was there.
do they still do that?

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:50 pm

Damn them!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:51 pm

Don Muerto wrote:The Dalai Lama is a FUCKING fascist!

(oops, wrong thread)

How many divisions does he have?

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:53 pm

Wermacht or Waffen SS?

PJ · Post by PJ » Sun Oct 12, 2003 4:51 pm

Lydia Love wrote:...the Blue Angels...I hate them...I hate every person who stands there oohing and awwing while the sound of death and war climbs up my spine.

The Blue Angels don't make the sound of death and war. You can tell because nothing goes "boom." They carry no air-to-ground ordnance, no rapid-fire cannon, not even anti-aircraft missiles for self protection.

The noises they make represent nothing more than a bunch of guys out doing guy stuff. Flying like that is more fun than you can possibly imagine. Imagine all 20 of the best sensations you've ever had in your life, add them together simultaneously, and multiply by a hundred--and you're still not close to how much fun it is to fly a gaggle of high-performance jets that close together with your best pals. Even riding along in their back seats would be more fun than simultaneously running all the fire cannons B.Man has ever had, having multiple cascading orgasms, eating in a fine restaurant, and performing on stage for 50000 adoring fans.

Really. I'm not kidding.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 6:02 pm

Well I'm glad it's fun for you and I'm glad it's fun for them...

But the sound of those things overhead makes me want to go hide under the bed.

I probably would not be a good candidate for that back seat.

But I'd take the 5000 adoring fans in a heartbeat.

TristanGabriel · Post by **TristanGabriel** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 6:17 pm

The Blue Angels don't make the sound of death and war.

Do the blue angels not fly aircraft specifically designed to Kill and destroy? I mean, I could see if they were flying high performance non military aircraft.
And furthermore, were not all those groups (Blue angels, thunderbirds etc) all created with the purpose of showing off our military equipment? I know I know, not all military is bad, I can see this, some is necissary for defense, but more often than not our military is used for naught but killing and utter destruction. In the immortal words of george carlin, A war is nothing but a bunch of military prickwaving (as per the previous comment of phallic c-130's)

PJ · Post by PJ » Sun Oct 12, 2003 6:32 pm

TristanGabriel wrote:...Do the blue angels not fly aircraft specifically designed to Kill and destroy? I mean, I could see if they were flying high performance non military aircraft...

The basic aircraft can be equipped to kill and destroy. So can a Ryder rental truck.

The Navy typically uses unarmed examples of it's most advanced fighter-sized aircraft for its demonstration team. The Air Force Thunderbirds, less so. Some years they've used training airplanes. (T-38s.) Ditto many foreign demonstration teams. There's no such thing as a high-performance non-military aircraft. However some ex-military aircraft are used as sport planes after their retirement from the active inventory.

The Blue Angels are a public relations effort; a generally-crowd-pleasing way for the Navy to show the taxpayers part of what they're paying for--which is a task for which the blue water Navy isn't suited. It's just a show but anybody's welcome to read into it their own prejudices. (Ditto anti-war marches: plenty of guys used to join 'em mainly because being all anti-war and sensitive was a pretty good way to score with hippy chicks back in '68.)

TristanGabriel wrote:...phallic c-130's)

A C-130 is about as phallic as a bread truck. It's a cargo transport. Even an AC-130 needs to be protected by something much meaner if it's going to act in a hostile manner.

TristanGabriel · Post by **TristanGabriel** » Sun Oct 12, 2003 6:36 pm

A C-130 is about as phallic as a bread truck. It's a cargo transport. Even an AC-130 needs to be protected by something much meaner if it's going to act in a hostile manner

I was referring to a comment made previously in the thread about C-130's being painted...I believe it was "...All pink and veigny..."

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Mon Oct 13, 2003 9:18 am

PJ wrote:...The basic aircraft can be equipped to kill and destroy. So can a Ryder rental truck.

The Blue Angels are a public relations effort; a generally-crowd-pleasing way for the Navy to show the taxpayers part of what they're paying for--

I guess I find it curious that the Air Force does not field a fleet of Ryder Trucks for weapons delivery. Think of the possibilities; you would only have to rent them when you had a conflict, and they have the 'E-Z Ride' seats.

And yes, the Blue Angels are a PR stunt, but its no mistake that they choose the sexiest machines in the arsenal to awe and impress the masses. Showing where the money goes could just as easily involve fleets of flatbed trucks, near-endless columns of graders and backhoes, or hordes of mathematicians calculating the most efficient dispersal pattern for aerial landmine deployment. --I already bought all of this without being asked or allowed to choose, -why do I have to have it 'sold' to me after the fact?

I'm not trying to get laid here, but I really don't appreciate this country's overspending on 'Defense.' I also am appalled by the sheer criminal audacity the American government, (particularly the current administration), has shown with regards to the invasion and occupation of foreign nations.

Put those things together and then couple that with having war birds flying around the city and I feel like I am having my nose rubbed in it.

PJ · Post by PJ » Mon Oct 13, 2003 9:32 am

Don Muerto wrote:I find it curious that the Air Force does not field a fleet of Ryder Trucks for weapons delivery. Think of the possibilities; you would only have to rent them when you had a conflict, and they have the 'E-Z Ride' seats.

It's especially strange considering the success assorted Islamic terrorists have using old cars and explosives.

Don Muerto wrote:the Blue Angels are a PR stunt, but its no mistake that they choose the sexiest machines in the arsenal to awe and impress the masses. Showing where the money goes could just as easily involve fleets of flatbed trucks, near-endless columns of graders and backhoes...

Sounds like you've seen a Minnesota National Guard parade.

Don Muerto wrote:...I really don't appreciate this country's overspending on 'Defense.'

All forms of defense are inherently wasteful, be they national, personal, or biological. All those white blood cells coursing about inside you, seeking a routine infection from a paper cut? Utterly wasted, nearly all the time. Ditto burglar alarms and Trident nuclear attack submarines--you only need them when you need them, but it's too late to acquire one then so we're all stuck paying the bill all the time.

Don Muerto wrote:...I also am appalled by the sheer criminal audacity the American government, (particularly the current administration), has shown with regards to the invasion and occupation of foreign nations.

Please remember to be equally appalled when an administration of the opposite party launches air and cruise missile attacks upon places like Sudan, Iraq, and the former Yugoslavia without UN approval.

Don Muerto wrote:Put those things together and then couple that with having war birds flying around the city and I feel like I am having my nose rubbed in it.

As with everything else, not everybody likes an air show. But as long as you're stuck with it anyway you might as well have some beer and enjoy the air show.

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Mon Oct 13, 2003 9:45 am

PJ wrote:Sounds like you've seen a Minnesota National Guard parade

I was drinking coffee, -thanks for the scald. Bastard!

PJ wrote:All forms of defense are inherently wasteful, be they national, personal, or biological. All those white blood cells coursing about inside you, seeking a routine infection from a paper cut? Utterly wasted, nearly all the time. Ditto burglar alarms and Trident nuclear attack submarines--you only need them when you need them, but it's too late to acquire one then so we're all stuck paying the bill all the time.

Are you suggesting that it is even conceivable that we will need all of our military resources for true defense in any realistic scenario or timeframe? People die of disease all the time; Iraq will not be destroying America any time soon.

PJ wrote:Please remember to be equally appalled when an administration of the opposite party launches air and cruise missile attacks upon places like Sudan, Iraq, and the former Yugoslavia without UN approval..

I was (am) appalled by these things too, the only silver lining on those episodes is there was no 'invasion and occupation of foreign nations.' The Bush administration has taken all that is bad about our foreign policy and magnified and accelerated it to a degree that it can only be called evil.

PJ wrote:As with everything else, not everybody likes an air show. But as long as you're stuck with it anyway you might as well have some beer and enjoy the air show.

I am not convinced that complacency is the route to changing these things about us.

PJ · Post by PJ » Mon Oct 13, 2003 10:11 am

Don Muerto wrote:Are you suggesting that it is even conceivable that we will need all of our military resources for true defense in any realistic scenario or timeframe? People die of disease all the time; Iraq will not be destroying America any time soon.

That's the point: having excess defense capability keeps trouble out of your own backyard. (Of course mere size alone isn't useful--they have to be competent. The French had the biggest military in the world, right up to the day the Germans drove around the Maginot line and took over the whole country.)

Where reasonable people will always disagree is, how much national defense is just right? There's no way to know. I myself lean toward having a comparatively-small US military, made up of very serious ass-kicking (possibly psychotic) volunteer warriors who can't imagine wanting a different career. And keeping them under civilian control, as we always have.

Note that the urge to build excessive defense capability comes primarily from Congressmen, who want Federal dollars spent in their districts. Both parties are equally guilty of this habit.

If the public hadn't soured on the Wolfowitz school of thought regarding wiping totalitarian regimes from the face of the earth, yeah the the entire US military could probably have been employed simultaneously. But voters won't go for that now even if the Iraq thing suddenly quiets down. Which, in any case, it probably won't.

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Mon Oct 13, 2003 11:40 am

PJ wrote:Both parties are equally guilty of this habit.

Don't you mean 'both the center-right and far-right wings of the business party'?

PJ · Post by PJ » Mon Oct 13, 2003 12:08 pm

Don Muerto wrote:Don't you mean 'both the center-right and far-right wings of the business party'?

The worst offender in recent decades in my home state was Pat Schroeder, who's single-minded strong liberal credentials cannot be denied. She was a Watergate baby, swept into office upon the wave of "throw the bums out" sentiment following Nixon's upset of the entire US political system. She continually harped about "the children" and "the family" throughout her career. She demanded, and got, a trophy in the form of a sexist anti-Schroeder banner removed from the notorious Tailhook Convention that cost many Navy brass their careers. But when the Air Force wanted to close underused and obsolete facilities in her district she screamed bloody murder.

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Mon Oct 13, 2003 12:15 pm

I think the American "far left" coincides with centrist in a reasonable political spectrum.

Want to see a riot? Mention something heinous and insane like socialized medicine.

Skyhawk · Post by **Skyhawk** » Tue Oct 14, 2003 8:47 am

III wrote:>
...they're a little outside of rock throwing reach, but with a good slingshot and some decent timing it's conceivable that i could bounce rocks off of their canopies.

I'd love to see that.. just once.. or maybe twice.. but I wonder what would happen to the "Terrorist"** after denting a piece of expensive hardware like that..

(**remember, anyone who does anything that could be thought to be not exactly very nice Must be a cold blooded terrorist waiting to blow up a hospital full of babies)

Kinetic II · Post by **Kinetic II** » Tue Oct 14, 2003 9:06 am

Those who forget the past are DOOMED to repeat it.

I hate war, but having a strong defense means we fight on our terms, not theirs. I don't want to wakeup to a PLA CSS-3 dropping MIRV'd nuke warheads on top of SF or KC. Nor do I want to turn on CNN and see an American embassy being stormed somewhere around the world and seeing nobody do anything...I happen to like having the ability to drop in a couple helos full of Marines, kick ass, and get our people out.

Peace has it's place, but I'll stick with the strong military option. Olive branches don't buy you time to live. Bullets do.

URGENT!!! SAN FRANCISCO UNDER ATTACK!!!

URGENT!!! SAN FRANCISCO UNDER ATTACK!!!

Re: URGENT!!! SAN FRANCISCO UNDER ATTACK!!!