PLAYA LIMERICKS! Post Em Here...

[madmatt]

Hey you burning bitches n blokes
Mystikal Misfits Tuesday happy hour provokes
cocktails and games, music and flames
and prizes for best limericks n dirtiest jokes

Translation - Mystikal Misfits Waldorf Mystoria Hotel, located at 4:30 and Baghdad, has a hotel convention happy hour at 3pm daily. Tuesday happens to be limericks and dirty jokes convention, with cheap prizes for your bawdiest limericks and most vulgar jokes, with specialty cocktails, cigarette girls, casino games, live music and more.

[Stitch]

I think an aristocrats competition is in order!

[Simon of the Playa]

At first glance it seems kinda scary
all naked and noisy and hairy
just dont get sand fleas
while you're down on your knees
or you'll itch while you're there blowing Larry.

[Simon of the Playa]

Anti-M, by no means was this directed at you....

[ygmir]

then who
were you
referring to?

[Liz Estrada]

we've seen Santas and clowns, Ninja-Pirates
And the War between Monkeys and Robots
but they're BOTH screaming "Phonies!"
The Art Fags / Sparkle Ponies
they both want what the other one's gots.

[Lassen Forge]

On limericks, I'm rather quite rusty,
The playa ones, lost in the dusty
So if I should dare
Stick a word here or there
The result might end up somewhat crusty.

[Cap'nTrevor]

Here I stand, a consumate virgin
With this post, on eplaya emerging
But i'm quick with a rhyme
and in twelve earth days time
my true burning man self will be surging!

[Birdman]

There once was an ex-jail bird
who in the past was very absurd
he swore too many a time
whilst under the influence of wine
and spent twenty four months inside rhyming a word.

[Simon of the Playa]

there are rogues and the best Digirati
who ride bikes or the new maserati
but when they come to burn
there's a lesson both Learn
Feel at Home, even in your Own Body.

[FIGJAM]

[youtube][/youtube]

[Simon of the Playa]

a Dj, without any ticket
found himself in one big sticky wicket
he was promised to play
4 times in one day
"Bloody hell! If i cant Buy one, I'll Nick it."

[The CO]

Inspired by the many, many people that we have all found sleeping where they shouldn't, like the middle of the kitchen of a camp they don't live in...

The foolish thought came like a flash,
Thought the fool "here's a fine place to crash!"
But he awoke with a start,
'Cause torturing fools is our art!
Get your dumb fuckin' ass out of M*A*S*H!

[H.G.Crosby]

There once was a man from Havana
Screwed a girl in his dusty cabana
At the height of their passion
Inadvertently Flashing
And Oh Yes, he has some banana...

[Lassen Forge]

Thence to Apok the snoozer was Seen
Sneaking around out behind the Kantin'
Stripped, flayed, wrapped and shorn
He wished he never was born
After we went and barbecued his Spleen.



(A message from the Interrogatrix Squad... where YOU are next, komrade...)

[Simon of the Playa]

and after this brief operation
walked straight, and with no hesitation
to the nipples he'd seen
and the cleavage between
to the Booby Bar for some libation.

[Aethelstan]

A carpenter named Paddy Ridge
Buggered natives right under the bridge
They hollered "Oh Paddy,
For sure you're my Daddy!"
(and later wound up in his fridge).

[Aethelstan]

A carpenter named Paddy Ridge,
Had no food for thought in his fridge;
He went to the cupboard
And ate L. Ron Hubbard,
Then farted his way up The Bridge!

[Roberto Dobbisano]

an eplayan, with three initials
posts shit like he's some kind of officials
but we know the deal
his "Facts" aren't for real
its more like tea party Commercials.

[knowmad]

True burners there once was a bunch of,
who's jokes one could guess the punch of.
but meow things are slim,
and pickings are grim.
for each has an ass that they munch of.

[Psychocybin420]

There once was a man from Nantucket,
with a dick so long he could suck it,
while wiping his chin he said with a grin if your ear was a pussy i'd fuck it.

probablly a way overuse limerick. but heres my two cents.

[Simon of the Playa]

a burner, in search of a ticket
hoped his number come up and they'd pick it
as he yelled out "Oh FUCK!"
"That damn BITCH, Lady Luck!"
"SHE PROMISED ME IF I WOULD LICK IT!"

[Roberto Dobbisano]

the futures uncertain and scary
and even the bravest seem wary
but i'd keep the plans that you've made
then drink the god damn kool-aid
and put your trust in the "Wisdom of Larry(tm)"

[Birdman]

Hi! You lot I'm back
the prison gave me the sack
they said I done my time
now I can get back to rhyme
but first I gotta learn the knack.

[madmatt]

Hi! You lot I'm back
the prison gave me the sack
they said I done my time
now I can get back to rhyme
but first I gotta learn the knack.

Birdman welcome back home to the roost.
Hope your limerick battery 's all juiced.
Time in the slammer
Is a great way to hammer
All those words, verbs and phrases you choose

[Simon of the Playa]

as some stroll the playa so pretty
while others get quite nitty gritty
but who woulda thunk
while out getting crunk
i'd run into pinko P. Diddy?

[mamasharon]

There once was a burner from the west coast
Who bragged she'd had intercourse with a ghost,


At the height of orgasm said the pale ectoplasm.
"I think I can feel it almost!"

[mamasharon]

Here's my boss's contribution:
I saw a young lady on the Playa
I commented, "If you're willing, I'll try ya."
She nodded her head
We wound up in bed

Oh, my, oh my, oh Maya!

We obviously had too much time on our hands today.

[robbidobbs]

The shit storm this year was astounding!
My equipment broke down most confounding.
Monty came thru,
And enabled my spew.
Our success overall was resounding!

[robbidobbs]

The CO this year came to power:
The Deep South bloomed like a flower
He delivered TP
Taught ravers to see:
Excremental Correctness - our Tower!

(ok it's rough but sincere)