Sucking Santa's Johnson.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:14 am

Thats right, as a Nation, if we dont get down on our collective Knees, and start giving a Hummer to Santa (and i aint talking big ass SUV) and whatever else he wants, we are ALL DOOMED.

The Year without a Santa Claus is the Year without 4th quarter sales.

The Year without 4th quarter sales, is the year that is followed by bankruptcy after bankruptcy in the retail sector and a HUGE loss of jobs, elves included.

so stop saving, and spend what you dont have, lavishly, or santa will die, never to return again.

DO YOU WANT THAT?

do you want the entire WESTERN WORLD and it's economy to GO TO CRAP?.....wait, GET EVEN CRAPPIER?

i think not, i mean we've already thrown BILLIONS at santa's minions, hoping the burnt offering of Lehman Bros. would satisfy his hunger.

It hasnt.

Now it's up to YOU to SPEND SPEND SPEND like your life depends on it!

it does.

Santa is ANGRY, Santa has been DISSED by poor sales, SANTA NEEDS YOUR PIN NUMBER...

SANTA WANTS YOU to save the WORLD.

are you up to the task? well, you dont have a fucking choice, if we continue to hold tightly on to what little Gelt we have by SAVING, we are cheating Santa out of what is rightfully his...

Now, give the Jolly Fat Man all of your money, or ELSE!

goathead · Post by **goathead** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:45 am

Does spending on Ho, Ho, Hoes, count?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:04 am

yes. Ho's need extra xmas cash too.

PLUS, you'll be getting another check from the Gubber-Mint, where they are happily cooking up NEW MONEY right now....

soon, it'll be a PO-MO Dollar, something with a little english, a little latin, some canadian thrown in for blandness...bake for 5 fiscal quarters and Viola!

THE AMERO. (kinda sounds like a buick, huh.)

Santa just wants you all to be able to compete on a global scale, thats all...

he loves you, now give up your cash.

goathead · Post by **goathead** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:47 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:yes. Ho's need extra xmas cash too.

PLUS, you'll be getting another check from the Gubber-Mint, where they are happily cooking up NEW MONEY right now....

soon, it'll be a PO-MO Dollar, something with a little english, a little latin, some canadian thrown in for blandness...bake for 5 fiscal quarters and Viola!

THE AMERO. (kinda sounds like a buick, huh.)

Santa just wants you all to be able to compete on a global scale, thats all...

he loves you, now give up your cash.

Show me the pussy first.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:30 am

Santa is getting a new economic stimulus package for the Christ-lie-Mas

We need to stop our government from using all the people money.

Tax the fucking rich that has and is still making money in this economy.

AIIZ

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:36 am

Show me the pussy first.

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:25 am

That's right.. BUY that Xmas shit. SEND that money to China...

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:31 am

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:06 am

I'd spend money on the ho-ho's, but the Po-po's might confiscate my truck.

Bounce530 · Post by **Bounce530** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:52 am

mmm hoho's

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:24 pm

Remember kiddies, Santa Sensei (aka Pimpin' Santa) is always watching - usually but not always in a non-creepy sort of way - so be good for goodness sake!

Let's all sing, shall we?

You better watch out,
You better watch out,
You better watch out,
You better watch out,
Santa Sensei is comiiiiiiiiiing
TO TOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNN!

Thank you.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 8:22 am

Post by **Elderberry** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 8:31 am

that brought back some memories--that used to be my brand.

JK

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 9:47 am

Coming soon to a city near you, Santarchy

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 8:18 pm

**burn** · Post by **burn** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 9:45 pm

Post by **Elderberry** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 10:41 pm

chiefdanfox · Post by **chiefdanfox** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:07 am

This is the best thread EVER.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:06 am

thank GOD SOMEBODY is SHOPPING....

"Now that I think about it, there was a story about John Edwards getting an expensive haircut that's like a rounding error compared to Palin's September hair and makeup expenses. The total bill is well over double the median household income in the United States."

now sarah palin gets what she wants, not some little lump of nasty coal, oh no, santa's gonna bring her what she wants....

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:29 am

Lets all lie to our little children and tell them about Santa and that he's exists!

Then we will fuck up their little minds when their a little older and wiser and Santa really doesn't EXIST!

We do the same with little christian boys and girls telling them that Jesus was born on X Mess Day. Then they find out that Jesus wasn't born on X-messed up Day.

That will really fuck them up their minds and will induce Neurosis Psychosis Syndrome.

They are now our to do what ever our evil minds wish!

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:37 am

DO NOT FUCK WITH SANTA! HE EXISTS, HE IS ALIVE AND WELL AND LIVING IN PARAGUAY IN THE OFF-SEASON......THE ELVES WILL BE PAYING YOU A LITTLE "VISIT" VERY SOON APOLLONARIS TO MAKE SURE YOU BELIEVE.

No Santa, WTF? are you Canadian or something?

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:40 am

Raped by Elvises!

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:55 am

Ok...I'll BITE!

oops.....wrong thread.

hehehheeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:57 am

its hard to get sequins out of the nooks and crannies....

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:37 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:its hard to get sequins out of the nooks and crannies....

I knew that wasn't a filling!!

Post by **AntiM** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:09 am

... mmmm, tastes like peppermint.

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 11:55 am

http://www.mavericktheater.com/html/santa_conquers.html

Fullerton CA in case anyone wants to go see

Post by **Elderberry** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:16 pm

LOL That will sure be high on my list of things to do for the holidays.

JK

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 6:48 pm

Apollonaris Zeus wrote:Raped by Elvises!

Isn't the correct plural Elvi?

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 6:51 pm