nigerian prince selling ticket

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Fri May 08, 2009 9:46 pm

allo!!

My name is Umbootoo McKenzie, and, I am a prince in the cuntry of nigeria.
my family has all been killed, and, not having the ability to hire ninjas to revenge there deths, sell my tikits I must.

if please, you will agree to pay 57.99 for each, I have 23 of them.
pleez just post your credit card, address, phone number, shoe size, sexual preference and preference for snails or oysters (is that redundant, Spartacus?).

I onlee need this info to make sure you are serious about this grate deel, that it is that i am offering to you.

I will a czech , then, make out to you for 25,000 USD and, if you will be so kind as to cash it and send a money order back, you will reallee bee getting the tiket for free, and, making a profit. but, I will get enough monees to avenge the murder of my parents for hiring some ninjas and also able be to ezkape my brutal nation and com to amerika........

hurry, before som won else decides this offr to be to good an d you lose out..

Bounce530 · Post by **Bounce530** » Fri May 08, 2009 11:55 pm

Just put the tickets in the glove box of the Nigerian '09 BMW that I won, that the other guy is stuffing full of all that money that was left to me by that other Nigerian prince.
Thanks,
-Bounce

(I mean I got the emails so it must be true, right?)

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sat May 09, 2009 5:22 am

yes, you are right, and, if you'll just send me a check for 50K,
i'll forward a key............

I thought I should make toght I shud make tis offer, seeing as how pepol are beggininningg to post offer for tickets, and, ussse such good gramar and splling, I cna tell they are maybe a forener in our graet cuntry..........
and maybe scamming, at taht.

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Sat May 09, 2009 12:32 pm

One of the more popular scams down here is job services. Nothing nicer than kicking someone when they are down. Welcome to Capitalism at its finest.

Alot of jobs that sound too good to be true are, many folks that aren't that bright are gettin scammed into check rackets with folks overseas.

I wish the majority were not so gullible. This kind of thing only helps to further ruin our economy. Its bad enough our corporate rulers are doing their part but now we have foreign help.

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Sat May 09, 2009 2:22 pm

Mr. Nigerian Prince. Do you have a huge schlong?
Cuz if ya do, I'll buy all 23 tickets and move to Nigeria
to be your Nigerian Princess right now.

Please send me pics of your huge Nigerian schlong. Now bitch.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sat May 09, 2009 3:07 pm

Monkeypoo wrote:Mr. Nigerian Prince. Do you have a huge schlong?
Cuz if ya do, I'll buy all 23 tickets and move to Nigeria
to be your Nigerian Princess right now.

Please send me pics of your huge Nigerian schlong. Now bitch.

with that many straight lines....and, non pc humor opportunities, I'm just not sure where to begin...........

*giggling*...........

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Sat May 09, 2009 5:15 pm

Monkeypoo wrote:Mr. Nigerian Prince. Do you have a huge schlong?
Cuz if ya do, I'll buy all 23 tickets and move to Nigeria
to be your Nigerian Princess right now.

Please send me pics of your huge Nigerian schlong. Now bitch.

size queen?

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Sun May 10, 2009 8:16 am

Monkeypoo wrote:Mr. Nigerian Prince. Do you have a huge schlong?
Cuz if ya do, I'll buy all 23 tickets and move to Nigeria
to be your Nigerian Princess right now.

Please send me pics of your huge Nigerian schlong. Now bitch.

A one-time friend of mine of scandinavian decent, was upset when he learned that scandinavian women were taking vacations in Africa so they could have sex with Africans since they have bigger schilongs.

I didn't want to say that didn't say much for Scandinavian men!

Hey, i'll buy all your tickets!

Here is my account information:

George W. Bush
Bank of Deceit

routing number: 34443989
Account Number: 989343-28388

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun May 10, 2009 10:42 am

bump for placement

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sat May 23, 2009 8:34 am

If each ticket seller will send me the ticket they want to sell, along with 1,000.00 dollars, I will happily sell their tickets for them, and, return whatever profit, or, money I have left..............after expenses like shipping and handling.........
My "right hand man" JK, will be responsible for "handling"............

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Sat May 23, 2009 9:18 am

Gosh, let me send the guy my PayPal account information so he can update it along with the tikit sales.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun May 24, 2009 8:19 am

bump for location........

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Sun May 24, 2009 9:33 am

Lagos is lovely this time of year.

-The Nigerian Travel Board

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun May 24, 2009 9:58 am

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Sun May 24, 2009 10:11 am

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Sun May 24, 2009 12:57 pm

Hmm, our Big Shlong Nigerian Prince is rather quiet all of a sudden.

Nigerian Prince, you can't even spell Cuntry correctly.

It's spelled Cunt Tree.

cutmeoffandcallmeshorty · Post by **cutmeoffandcallmeshorty** » Sun May 24, 2009 6:48 pm

Cunt Tree ? Is that the outlet on Hwy 80 near Vacaville California?
I think it's just accros from the Nut Tree.
There used to be a peker Tree outlet between them but they built an
In and Out Burger.

I love Vacaville. Great turist place, Home of Vacaville Detention Centre, for Charlie Manson, Visting hours are Thursday's between 2.00pm and 4.00pm. He likes apples, and Hippy Chics.

klondike_bar · Post by **klondike_bar** » Sun May 24, 2009 7:17 pm

thats not how these things work!

however, i DO represent an eccentic billionaire who purchased hundreds of tickets and supplies for the event, and recently passed away in a tragic accident involving genitals, a motorcycle, and horses (dont ask).

he entrusted these tickets to you, but didnt include enough funds to ship everything. All I need is for you to give me the last 50$ FOR SHIPPING, AND ILL SEND IT YOUR WAY...

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon May 25, 2009 10:15 am

That's Lago, not Lagos, and it's from an American movie, you American fools!

Listen, I have millions of dollars here in downtown Lagos, and unless you play ball with me, you'll not have any!

SilverOrange · Post by **SilverOrange** » Mon May 25, 2009 10:56 am

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Wed May 27, 2009 7:17 am

SilverOrange wrote:

Lago: welcome to hell.........

Marscrumbs · Post by **Marscrumbs** » Wed May 27, 2009 2:47 pm

Shouldn't this have been on the 2009 Ticket thread?

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 8:51 am

bump for location

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 9:33 pm

Is this you, Mr. Nigerian Prince?

I knew you had a huge schlong.
Why do you hide it from me?
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:58 am

perhaps......you has a ticket you wants to buy?.........

I give tips...........

Oldguy · Post by **Oldguy** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 5:57 pm

He's got to carry his garlic somewhere. A chair, a cane, and garlic: he's got it all!

Absolut Jeenyus · Post by **Absolut Jeenyus** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 6:52 pm

Monkeypoo wrote:Mr. Nigerian Prince. Do you have a huge schlong?
Cuz if ya do, I'll buy all 23 tickets and move to Nigeria
to be your Nigerian Princess right now.

Please send me pics of your huge Nigerian schlong. Now bitch.

6:00 and D. Stop on through.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:54 am

bump or location and an international flair..

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:14 am

*as traslated for the prince*

aye doo zee dat dere are lotz of good storys for dickets ( refrain from puns),

I tink, dat, iv you sent me 300 unided states dollars, jus fo shippin and handlin, I mite beable to sent you a vree dicket.......

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:21 am

I cahn't beleeve you ah making fahn of do way I tahlk. No dicket fo you!