3 oclock and :( >>>>> burn it out

landfrost · Post by **landfrost** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:49 pm

I just had to write this. I felt compelled.

Recently I had the pleasure of attending Burning Man EVOLUTION 2009. as you all know..lol. Now burning man has always been a dream of mine for many years, at first I thought it was a giant music festival, but as I got closer to it I realized what it really was. A study in the survival of man, whilst celebrating mans detachment from "the man" so to speak. Let me tell you, it was everything and nothing I ever imagined. I saw, heard, smelled and tasted things I have never experienced in my life, thus making me feel things that I haven't felt in many years, Babylon.

This being said, there were a few things that I experienced that were shocking and appalling.
Initially a couple close friends and I made tentative plans to create a theme camp, this started in January. The idea was to have all of our close friends and family with us for this experience, while having comforts that would be very hard to manifest on a solo tip, ie showers, sinks, sound systems, shade, quality dinners etc.The camp was set. The "core" group was responsible for acquiring all such necessities. This "core" group consisted of 4, educated and highly motivated people. As the planning months went on 5 more people were invited to join our project. These 5 people were of equal relevance to the core standards.
As time progressed materials were purchased, time off was given at our respective jobs and the splitting of the cost was divided equally. This is where the fork in the road started becoming evident.
Less than one month from departure two of these "new" group members decided to change the group plans and make their own decisions for the good of their part of the camp. This created problem #1. These new plans included bringing along extra people, however the number of extra people was unknown until we had landed in Black Rock City. This was in my opinion a very minimal issue because all of the materials and planning had already been taken care of. My only real concern was that I had a limited amount of food and water, not enough to give away to extra people that were not coming to BRC prepared.
To my surprise the number of extra people that were brought were 3, I figured it may have been 1 or 2 at the most. This number of extra people fluctuated during the week... between 3 and 9, thats right NINE!! Whoa.... hold the phone. That is WAY more people than our original camp could support, regardless of the supply issue, I didnt think there was even enough space for 2 extras.. and there wasn't.
This created a problem, which was hard to deal with... but still manageable. Obviously these extra people who had neither a hand in creating this lovely theme camp nor pitched in moneys for the vision, had to add to the collective in some way. This seemed fair.
Originally one of the first "core" group members purchased ALL the supplies and divided up the costs equally. This person also contacted every "extended" group member and rounded up the cash. Simple enough. So it seems.
So when one (1) yes ONLY 1 of the added extras offered me some money at the end of the week I obliged him and directed him to speak with the person who had been in charge of divvying of the camp funds from the beginning. Wow, could it have been any easier to deal with these apparent "problems" of having too many extras to support in our camp?? no i say.
Gosh it sounds like we may have worked through these PETTY problems without any real actual blood being spilled. Think Again.
On the afternoon of Thursday Sept 3rd I awoke from a nice air conditioned (thanks k for the RV access) nap to the sounds of one of the "core" group members screaming like a banshee at another core member. My first initial reaction was to walk over and ask what the problem was, but I decided to walk over and wash my face and hands in the sink. After a couple mins I looked over as this grown man had his finger in her face and was talking down to her like some alternative school deviant. This is when i started my way over to intervene. To my surprise this conversation, or should I say 1 way match involved me. Not in the "man that guy is awesome" way but the "you're a fucking trader and Im super paranoid that you are against me" kind of way. WHOA! Seriously??!!!
As this grudge match ensued the person screaming got some sideline support from another who apparently felt the same way... the focus then was soley on me. Why, you say? Well apparently these two (who I thought were my best friends) were under the impression that I had been lie'n to them for 7 months. What about? Well they seemed to think that there was some sort of conspiracy against them to screw them out of some menial amount of money for theses extra people that showed up in our camp that week. Keep in mind I invited none of my friends from the outside world, theses extra people came from 2 of the added camp mates who initially said that they WERE NOT bringing extra people. Is this making sense?? It doesn't to me either.
In this long overly exaggerated 1 way yelling match I was blamed for the extra people showing up, I was accused of being "drunk" and barking orders to everyone (which was basically me asking one of the core member is she would mind helping with the dishes, on 1 occasion).. I was chastised for directing the extra member (the one who offered me $$) to give the $$ to him, because apparently this was "too much responsibility" and I should have handled it myself. Shit, if I would have know that this person was so obviously feeling overwhelmed I would have taken it myself and divvy'd it up later. Not really a big deal.
All of this came to a huge surprise to me because everyone in the group knew that there would be some extra people showing up on the playa, this was know 1 - 2 weeks before we even left. To say I had been maliciously planning to screw, who I thought, were my good friends out of some ridiculously small amount of money is just petty and it makes me really, really sad that I was treated with such disrespect. The disrespect comes from the way this person was talking to me, getting up in my face.. challenging me. Now Im not sure where all of you are from but in the south, that shit DOES NOT WORK.. and thankfully I have grown out of that kind of altercations, because it WOULD have turned ugly, fast.
I was asked if I knew if extra people were coming, I replied: "YES" I knew of at least 1 possibly 2. He accused me of lieing. I was asked why I directed the extra moneys to him, I replied: "because YOU have been in charge of it all along", He accused me of dumping responsibility. I was asked if I had been planning all along to screw my friends over, I replied: "Why would I do something like that to someone I love and care about". He accused me of being a liar... This cycle of questioning went on for about 40 mins, I say "cycle" because it was the same repetitive questions over and over. He told me that he was gonna mentally take notes on my answers to his questions so that he went to talk to the person who ACTUALLY brought all these extra people, he could see if my answers rang true... Finally, hurt from the things that my "friend" was saying about me, I got up and walked away.
From that point on I felt betrayed and untrusted. There was (0) zero evidence backing ANY of these claims. How could someone that I had helped create this beautiful theme camp with, working for months and months planning, pricing, brainstorming and manifesting turn on me with no regard to my word? This was quite a perplexing issue, an issue that was fueled by paranoia. I have NEVER maliciously hurt anyone, especially a close friend. This all would be water under the bridge but I feel extremely hurt and confused as to why I was singled out. I have been the best friend I can be to these people. New to town, I introduced them to my friends whom I have know for years and hang out with regularly.. I believe good people should be around other good people. We all thrive from it.
On a good note the conversation between the person who felt shammed and the person who actually brought the extra people went well. The obvious slight that the core member felt was talked about and I assume that there are no problems between them now. All of the people who were there originally and also the extra people are all awesome people! Everyone brought their own little addition to the camp and for that I am thankful.
As for me, I feel like I was, As one of my close friends would say, "thrown under the bus"..It makes me very sad to see people I look up to turn on me in a moment of weakness. There are always things coming up whether they are happy surprises or snags, its how people deal with these things that show you their true character. I hope, wish that my friends will see how this has affected me and others around me.

I don't know what exactly I was looking for when I decided to go to the desert. It was beautiful, it was huge.. it was ancient. I found something out there that has forced me to see things that I couldn't see before. I cant say if this helps or hinders me, but I know that it was an EVOLUTION I had been waiting my whole life for.
You may say, "damn, that sucks that you went there for something amazing and had to deal with all of this drama" I say, Im glad it happened as it did give everyone an opportunity to grow and learn. Nothing worth a damn is ever easy.
Will I be going to Black Rock City again?.....I will definitely be going again.
:)

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 2:11 pm

Sounds about right. From the people I've talked to, your story sounds very close to other theme camp organizers.

If you do it again, just note that you dont HAVE to let the "extra" people stay in yer camp and use yer resources. you need to be fire, clear, and direct about everything....then there will still be drama...

Artemis · Post by **Artemis** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 3:42 pm

reminds me how grateful I am for camping alone

landfrost · Post by **landfrost** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 3:57 pm

tell me about it, perhaps next year I'll run my own camp. 1 member. I mean hell, I know a lot of people who have awesome, kick ass camps that I can go visit whenever. If i can avoid this type of situation in the future ud better believe im gonna try.

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:21 pm

I think they require three people to register a theme camp nowadays...it used to be only two.

In general, most camps nowadays are at least 33% better than before, so this number seems appropriate to me.

landfrost · Post by **landfrost** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:30 pm

so your saying i should recruit 1-2 more .. hmm, i think ill have better luck cloning

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:37 pm

Just tell the other two to stay home and do it yourself.

landfrost · Post by **landfrost** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:42 pm

nice idea! or bring two sets of gear and leave one with them.. picking it up the night of the temple. na.. they wouldnt take care of it. id'd be lost

landfrost · Post by **landfrost** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:43 pm

you know thats actually a really good idea. id only need a small spot for a pop up trailer and a couple canopys. i think im gonna ponder that one for sure

Ranger Stranger · Post by **Ranger Stranger** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:45 pm

Whew! Are you a writer who gets paid by the word?
Rangers spend a lot of time mediating disputes within camps and between camps. Your experience is not uncommon. All those months of careful planning can go to hell in a heartbeat on the playa, especially with all of the reality altering influences present. Even long term friendships / relationships can just dissolve when stressed.
Glad this is not going to discourage you from returning.

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:49 pm

I like the old saying, "he's a great guy, but I wouldn't take him fishing." It's hard to know who will flake and who will rise to the occasion, and on a daily basis, the whole thing can change. As a solo camper, and a neighbor, I stay on my best behavior and leave when the time is right.

landfrost · Post by **landfrost** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 5:41 pm

i know i know... but i had a lot to say. i appriciate the feedback, i am just sitting in my real world office wondering if i should be the one that approches "core member" #1 to discus this or should I just assume its just dust in the wind..

Post by **AntiM** » Fri Sep 11, 2009 6:45 am

Even non-theme camps get this strain... we're quite small, and once we're past five or six people, our limited resources get strained. Biggest problem has been friends camping next to us inviting more friends, then all using our infrastructure instead of providing their own additional shade/coolers/tools. We love them, but it gets to be like rats in a crowded cage. The worker bees get more work, and get cranky because the butterflies are sipping the honey.

"That's MY cot!"

Perhaps that's why we had such a relaxed burn this year, only five of us and the occasional visitor. Our core group doesn't do drama much, if one of us indulges (often me), the others know how to set us back on our feet.

thisisthatwhichis · Post by **thisisthatwhichis** » Fri Sep 11, 2009 9:48 am

I'm glad it didn't completely ruin the experience for you.....

We have learned to have only one rule in camp... NO DRAMA!

Everyone knows this going in.

All other things about camp are guidelines, so there isn't any expectation......

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri Sep 11, 2009 10:09 am

It's hard to wrangle cats, especially when they'll all blissed out with the burn.

My advice: screen for maturity, be prepared to pull the rip cord at any time, and if all else fails, grin and bear it.

Kinetik V · Post by **Kinetik V** » Fri Sep 11, 2009 10:12 am

We're considering a theme camp for next year and I've already sent a link to this thread out to everyone involved in it so that we can try and avoid duplicating this experience. I'm glad you shared it as it opened my eyes to some things I hadn't considered. And I echo the statement that it's good that the drama didn't turn you off to the event.

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Fri Sep 11, 2009 10:51 am

landfrost wrote:i know i know... but i had a lot to say. i appriciate the feedback, i am just sitting in my real world office wondering if i should be the one that approches "core member" #1 to discus this or should I just assume its just dust in the wind..

If it was me, I'd discuss it fully (calmly), and just get it done and over with and out of the way, but that's just me. I find that if I don't speak my mind I wind up with nagging resentments, sadness and/or anger in the back of my mind. Best just to clear the air.

gaminwench · Post by **gaminwench** » Fri Sep 11, 2009 10:57 am

in my theme camp experiences, seems the cleanest way to manage newbies is to have a SOLID deadline pre-playa for capping the camp population.
Also, each newbie must be 'sponsored' by a veteran-one on one- who is then responsible for educating/preparing/acclimating that virgin; this, ideally(!), allows the newb to get all the info/help they need without relying on the entire camp for support, while investing the veteran burner with some responsibility around the folks they bring to your camp...

AKAparttime · Post by **AKAparttime** » Fri Sep 11, 2009 10:57 am

Ranger Stranger wrote:Whew! Are you a writer who gets paid by the word?
Rangers spend a lot of time mediating disputes within camps and between camps. Your experience is not uncommon. All those months of careful planning can go to hell in a heartbeat on the playa, especially with all of the reality altering influences present. Even long term friendships / relationships can just dissolve when stressed.
Glad this is not going to discourage you from returning.

I 2nd that.

landfrost · Post by **landfrost** » Fri Sep 11, 2009 2:29 pm

[quote="Kinetic V"]We're considering a theme camp for next year and I've already sent a link to this thread out to everyone involved in it so that we can try and avoid duplicating this experience. I'm glad you shared it as it opened my eyes to some things I hadn't considered. And I echo the statement that it's good that the drama didn't turn you off to the event.[/quote]

I appreciate that! i just let it slide off my back, i was there for something way bigger than that. Nothing was gonna stop me from experiencing it as i wanted to. :)