Who organizes Critical Tits?

catcatcat · Post by **catcatcat** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 7:51 pm

Does anyone out there know who puts Critical Tits together? I want some advising from a seasoned burning man bike ride/party planner. If you know how I can get in touch with them, it would make me very happy.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 8:01 pm

I'm not sure exactly, but from what I heard the person is a real Boob!

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 8:06 pm

Apollonaris Zeus wrote:I'm not sure exactly, but from what I heard the person is a real Boob!

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yellowdog · Post by **yellowdog** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:08 pm

PM me your contact info (e-mail addy) and I'll pass it on to the organizers.

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:51 pm

Jeez, like it's some sort of secret or something......

http://www.criticaltits.com/

you might have a harder time figuring out who to contact for Critical Dicks.

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:02 pm

oneeyeddick wrote:you might have a harder time figuring out who to contact for Critical Dicks.

Pardon me, guys, but doesn't it hurt your nuts to ride naked?
How exactly do you do it? Do you slide your jewels and junk
to the side, riding on your leg/crotch bone? I'm serious here.

Artemis · Post by **Artemis** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:23 am

Yeah, I want to know too. But wait, don't critical dicks run rather than bike?

And why do you have that stupid bar on your bike anyway? Yeah, I know it's supposed to be more aerodynamic but dang that thing sucks for short chicks who try to borrow someone's bike and can't put feet down unless on tippy toes. I borrowed a 10 year old boy's bike recently and dang if I didn't feel like I'd been fucked for hours afterwards.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:39 am

Artemis wrote:Yeah, I want to know too. But wait, don't critical dicks run rather than bike?

And why do you have that stupid bar on your bike anyway? Yeah, I know it's supposed to be more aerodynamic but dang that thing sucks for short chicks who try to borrow someone's bike and can't put feet down unless on tippy toes. I borrowed a 10 year old boy's bike recently and dang if I didn't feel like I'd been fucked for hours afterwards.

*checking internet for "10 year old boys bike" job application*

I think the bar is for support/strength, not aerodynamics......we tend to be heavier and, harder on things...........

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:45 am

I always thought that bar was there to teach us a painful lesson about going off of jumps with our bikes.

And yeah, Critical Dicks is a march, not a bike ride, and they don't cross paths with Critical Tits...different day, different time.

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 10:51 pm

That still doesn't answer my questions.

Doesn't it hurt your nuts to ride naked?
How exactly do you do it?
Do you slide your jewels and junk to the side, riding on your leg/crotch bone?

And an extra question....

Do your balls sweat when you ride naked?

I'm serious about this. I wanna know.

dr.placebo · Post by **dr.placebo** » Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:27 am

Guys don't get hurt riding with shorts on, and shorts don't give a lot of protection. The male genitals are actually free to move around a lot, and are not significantly weight-bearing when riding a bike (otherwise you would see damn little bike riding by males). The genitals tend to ride on the front of the seat, in the middle.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuberosity_of_the_ischium.

Further, balls do sweat, and they sweat more when body heat is retained more or when the body is more active. So they sweat when riding a bike, but they do so naked or not. Fabric tends to hold in the sweat, but most fabrics worn in that area are meant to breath, so they are porous enough to leak. In other words, ball sweat can reach a bike seat under many conditions for a male, and nudity is a relatively minor effect.

I've been told that the bar is there for a stronger frame. Most guys quickly learn to avoid it. The ones who don't are either really slow learners, masochists, or they stop riding.

The Critical Dicks event can be thought of as a march, a walk, or even a whimsical parade. It is not a run or a ride. There is a Naked Bike Ride, usually a day or so before Critical Dicks. Both events are mostly male, but are open to women.