Stupid Interview Questions……..

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flatlander13
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Stupid Interview Questions……..

Post by flatlander13 » Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:17 am

Some of you, like me have been hitting the interview circuit looking for a job or looking to change jobs. What are the stupidest interview questions you have heard? What was your answer to said question? What answer were you thinking, but didn’t say?

I’ll go first………..

Question: If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be and why?

Answer: If I were a tree I would be Richard Roundtree……because Richard Roundtree played Shaft in the movie Shaft; and Shaft was cool.

Unsaid answer: I would be the tree that fell on you and killed you for asking me such a stupid fucking question……….

It’s your turn……………..

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Post by oneeyeddick » Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:25 am

Question :

Where do you see yourself in 5 years ?

Appropriate answer :

Hopefully still working here, after watching and helping the company grow in the meantime.

Answers you wanna give :

Sitting right there, In your chair, because you suck and I will make sure to take your position in the next 5 years if you hire me.

Or....

Dead, just like all of humanity....haven't you heard about 2012 ?
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Post by ygmir » Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:26 am

q:
aren't those clothes uncomfortable, and, doesn't the couch look inviting?

a:
well, yes maaaaammm...........
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Post by oneeyeddick » Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:19 am

It appears that Ygmir has been applying for a groundskeeper position at the local nursing Home.
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Post by justfred » Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:59 am

q: what is your greatest weakness?

a: when I hear people ask dumb-ass questions like that, I want to rip their heads off and...

q: ...thanks, we'll give you a call.
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Post by flatlander13 » Tue Sep 22, 2009 1:18 pm

Question: What church do you go to?

Answer: You can’t ask me that question

Unsaid Answer: RUN AWAY!!!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!

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Post by MikeVDS » Wed Sep 23, 2009 6:31 am

The correct answer to the tree question is a big strong tree, like an oak. Stupid management 101 classes. The correct answer to your biggest weakness is that you tend to work too hard. You can pretty much bet that anyone asking those questions took them straight from their management book and are looking for that type of answer.
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Post by ygmir » Wed Sep 23, 2009 7:27 am

oneeyeddick wrote:It appears that Ygmir has been applying for a groundskeeper position at the local nursing Home.
"any port in a storm" says the sailor on an angry sea..........
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Post by Thecatman » Wed Sep 23, 2009 5:12 pm

queation: If you are offered the position, will you accept it?

answer given: Yes sir!

answer I felt like giving: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Are you serious :lol: :lol: :lol:

I was asked that when I applied for a transfer to a different yard that is closer to home

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Post by Monkeypoo » Wed Sep 23, 2009 5:40 pm

Question: What are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your off-time?

Answer: I like camping, hiking, traveling, creating art, doing crafts, sewing, hanging out with friends and family.

What I'd like to say: What I like to do? I like camping, being outdoors, and creating art. I like attending Burning Man where I can camp, roll in playa dust, walk around topless, wear wild costumes, spin poi and fire, eat bacon all week, spank people cuz they love it, get spanked cuz I love it, hang out with other freaks I can relate to, go to regionals, sew costumes, dabble in witchcraft, give tarot readings, take care of my grandson during the week while molding him and getting him ready for Burning Man 2013. I guess you should know I can be a scary psychotic maniac if I stop taking my meds, so I'm hoping you have one helluva good fucking health care plan.

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Post by Elorrum » Wed Sep 23, 2009 6:13 pm

q: how would you motivate an employee who wasn't performing up to expectations?

a: blah blah blah, communicate, explain blah blah, find out about situations outside of work, their impact etc. blah. make sure expectations were clear... blah blah

What you cannot say: I'd tell them that they weren't doing the job they were hired to do, that they were close to being fired, that there are tons of people out there who would love their job, and that I'd love to hire somebody who believed in the relationship of work and getting a paycheck.

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Post by MikeVDS » Wed Sep 23, 2009 9:04 pm

Actually a good question I'll add, because I think it's interesting and some people may think it's stupid, but they'd be wrong.

Q: There is a janitor in a 100 story building, who cleans at night. One night when all his work is done he's bored and so he decides to turn all the lights on in the building. After he finishes he still has lots of time so he goes to every other floor (2, 4, 6, 8...) and flips the switches, so now every other floor is off. Still having time he goes to every third floor (3, 6, 9, 12...) and flips the switches, so now he's turning some back on and some off. Then he does the same pattern with 4's, 5's, 6's etc. all the way to 100.

When he's completed this which floors will have their lights turned on. You can just go through and figure all of them out but you're sitting in the interview so that's obviously not what they are looking for. This was given to a PHD in mathematics (and he got the job), but you don't need to be a phd to figure it out.
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Post by ygmir » Thu Sep 24, 2009 5:41 am

none?
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Post by Ugly Dougly » Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:18 am

Q: Suppose you are hired tomorrow. Which of your fellow employees would you shoot first?

A: This is a trick question, isn't it?

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Post by Elderberry » Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:27 am

MikeVDS wrote:Actually a good question I'll add, because I think it's interesting and some people may think it's stupid, but they'd be wrong.

Q: There is a janitor in a 100 story building, who cleans at night. One night when all his work is done he's bored and so he decides to turn all the lights on in the building. After he finishes he still has lots of time so he goes to every other floor (2, 4, 6, 8...) and flips the switches, so now every other floor is off. Still having time he goes to every third floor (3, 6, 9, 12...) and flips the switches, so now he's turning some back on and some off. Then he does the same pattern with 4's, 5's, 6's etc. all the way to 100.

When he's completed this which floors will have their lights turned on. You can just go through and figure all of them out but you're sitting in the interview so that's obviously not what they are looking for. This was given to a PHD in mathematics (and he got the job), but you don't need to be a phd to figure it out.
one, the first floor.

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Post by MikeVDS » Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:36 pm

one, the first floor.
Wrong. When you did the 2's, you turned 4 off, then when you did the 4's you turned it back on and never touched it again. That's not the full answer though, you have to finish it. Anyone who wants the answer can PM me, but it's more satisfying once you figure out the trick and why certain floors get left on using that pattern.
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Post by Gearrob » Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:31 am

Good one,
1, 4, 9, 16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, 100

All the floors you visited an odd number of times (perfect squares).

I had to work my way up to 9 to figure it out.
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Post by Elorrum » Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:53 pm

if someone asked me that question in a job interview, I'd be seriously screwed.

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Post by MikeVDS » Sat Sep 26, 2009 1:34 pm

Good one,
1, 4, 9, 16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, 100

All the floors you visited an odd number of times (perfect squares).

I had to work my way up to 9 to figure it out.
Yep. And the reasoning behind it is easy when you think about it. He visits a floor once for each number than can be used to multiply to get the floors number. So every floor will be visited an even number of times (each number has the number it's multiplied by to get the floor number, so they are all matching pairs, hence the even number). The only exceptions are the floors who have a multiple of the same number 1x1=1, 3x3=9, 4x4=16 etc. So those are odd number of visits, hence they are turned on at the end.

1st, 1x1 (one number) odd
2nd 1x2 (two numbers) even
3rd 1x3 (two numbers) even
4th 1x4, 2x2 (three numbers) odd
5th 1x5 (two numbers) even
6th 1x6, 2x3 (four numbers) even
7th 1x7 (two numbers) even
8th 1x8, 2x4 (four numbers) even
9th 1x9, 3x3 (three numbers) odd
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Post by ibdave » Sat Sep 26, 2009 5:14 pm

My Head Hurts....
I was Born OK the 1st Time....

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Post by ygmir » Sat Sep 26, 2009 5:38 pm

ibdave wrote:My Head Hurts....
try a midol.......
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Post by theCryptofishist » Sat Sep 26, 2009 8:39 pm

ygmir wrote:
ibdave wrote:My Head Hurts....
try a midol.......
I thought that was for his pre-menstrual bloat.
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Post by ygmir » Sat Sep 26, 2009 9:03 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
ygmir wrote:
ibdave wrote:My Head Hurts....
try a midol.......
I thought that was for his pre-menstrual bloat.
that's the suppository.........
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Post by mdmf007 » Sat Sep 26, 2009 9:22 pm

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Post by Barbie » Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:49 am

I'am the cleaning lady...... never mind whole notherstory...........

an email recently reminded me of a story..... about a stupid interview question



so this one time in Las Vegas-

going to get a job in a club called Crazy Horse Too-

I had worked there a couple of years before ( use to travel and work) sooooo the manager knew me-


Walk into the club- dressed to get a job in strip club- ( black leather mini and a lace up pirate shirt with pattern thigh highs and black 5 inch heels)
ask for the Manger by name and the door man says yea Vinnie is over there and points in general direction...

I walk straight up to where he is flirting (smacking butts) with a group of 4 hotties and ask 'Hey Vinnie can I work?' he says without skipping a beat 'can I pull your hair and slap your ass... ' I laugh and bend over and he grabs a fist full of hair and smacks my ass and says 'Go get dressed'
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Post by Sail Man » Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:25 am

:shock: Damn, I was all set to post my question and answer but after Barbie's post.....................I got too much visual going on :lol: I gotta go find me a cold shower :P
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Post by Sail Man » Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:01 pm

OK, I'm better now.... :D


Q: So, is the glass half-full, or half-empty?

So I'm the guessing the answer they want, and the one that I gave, was that its half-full. I'm assuming that indicates optimism :D

The answer that I'd like to give is that it is full, of both a liquid and a gas, each comprising 50% of the glass.
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Post by accordionMan » Fri Oct 09, 2009 2:46 pm

"Yep. And the reasoning behind it is easy when you think about it. He visits a floor once for each number than can be used to multiply to get the floors number. So every floor will be visited an even number of times......"



Sure...............

I'm lucky that I was able to take a class called "Math for Artists" because if the fate of the world depended on me answering that question... even with the answer in front of me, the world would be DOOMED.
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Post by Ugly Dougly » Fri Oct 09, 2009 2:50 pm

How do you look in a tutu, Dorothy? You don't mind if I call you Dorothy, don't you?

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Post by accordionMan » Fri Oct 09, 2009 3:03 pm

Getting back to interviews....

Once over the course of an interview I made a point of saying "I really want this job".

I said it with a smile when I first walked in, I said it several times during the interview and when the fellow walked me to the elevators, I shook his hand and said... "I can do a great job for you... I really want this job".

After I was hired, I went out to lunch with the guy who hired me.

I said to him... "Hank, what was it that made you choose me over the other applicants?"

He sat back and thought for a while, then he leaned forward and very seriously said to me...

"I don't know, I think that I got the impression that you really wanted the job".
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