Save On Sphincter Sutures (D.I.Y.)

[nipples]

Hello.

I notice that this year they are offering a rebate at the gate if you are not using Johnny On the Spot (JOTS portable toilets).

Since one must have ones anus sewn shut with surgical steel bands and there is a price break for Do It Yourselfers (D.I.Y), I was wondering if it really worth the twenty bucks, or should I have a doctor do it, or go for the full $50 and do it myself?!

Surgical Steel Anal Sphincter application price list:

Done by a REMSA Doctor................: $20 rebate
Done by self or freind.....................: $30 rebate
Done by Earth Guardian..................: $40 rebate
Done by DPW.................................: $50 rebate

[paps]

A difficult choice, nipples.

I've heard that there is a team of scatologists whom will track retreive anyone whom shits through the "fencework" (see "wedge of shit, no two the same" thread elsewhere, this site). If I have my sutures removed before the end of the week, do they deduct?

[nipples]

"or go for the full $50 and do it myself?! "

should have read "or go for the full $50 and have the DPW do it?! ".

[amnesia]

Done by a REMSA Doctor................: $20 rebate
Done by self or freind.....................: $30 rebate
Done by Earth Guardian..................: $40 rebate
Done by DPW.................................: $50 rebate

This appears to be in abverse order from what one might expect.... ie, the Dr. might use the fewest staples (by virtue of finese), me the next (out of fear), the Earth Gaurdian a LOT of staples do I never poop again, and the DPW even more, so they never have to do it again.

[cowboyangel]

I'll take a couple of eyelid sutures please

[Captain Goddammit]

Well it's gotta come out somewhere, I hate to think about exactly where it will be... but I'd recommend wearing condoms/tampons, earplugs, goggles, and being prepared for the proverbial "new one".

[cowboyangel]

Hey Captain G we already know which oriface the stuff oozes out from in the GWB Administration......