Suicidal Tendencies

[maryanimal]

I have learned that life can sometimes be difficult, but as long as you have friends who'll wrap you up in love, the world is a brighter place!

We love and care about you goathead! We're here, all you have to do is reach out!
"You've Got A Friend"


When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there,
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud,
Soon I'll be knocking upon your door

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yes I will
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there.

Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
When people can be so cold
They'll hurt you, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh yeah, but don't you let them

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes I will.

[maryanimal]

Elliot, you're the bestest! (((hugs)))

[Elliot]

That's Carole King's most famous song, and for good reason.

[FIGJAM]

Damn Elliot, how many brothers do you have?

[gyre]

[youtube][/youtube]

I love this one.

She wrote scads of great stuff.

[Elliot]

Damn Elliot, how many brothers do you have?

50.000+ brothers and sisters!

[maryanimal]

gyre, that is so cute!! Thanks for posting it!

[knowmad]

Wow.
Love you (((((burner family)))))
I just started reading this thread am up to page 7. I now love some of us even more. And would / will post more relevant post here when I am caught up.

[ygmir]

I'm just back........and glad GH checked in here........dang it!!

you folks, are "DA Best!!!", and, I'm proud, to know you all.

[ibdave]

I'm just back........and glad GH checked in here........dang it!!

you folks, are "DA Best!!!", and, I'm proud, to know you all.

What Barney said..... ^

[Elliot]

I'm still waiting for Goathead to check in again. We got a good conversation started this morning, comparing notes, and I'm looking forward to continue it. Perhaps he drove straight from work to Reno for some Saturday evening activity or other.

[MyDearFriend]

*silent hugs all around*

Thank you all, for still being here, today.

[Elliot]

.
Right here.

"Paging Mr. Goathead. Paging Mr. Goathead. Please pick up your PM in the messages inbox."

[delle]

Kind of torn here.

While Goathead has made his opinion on this matter pretty clear in the past, and I have agreed with him on the fact that it IS a personal decision, I find myself really torn right now between just shutting up and respecting his wish for uncontested acceptance and throwing myself at his feet begging him to consider alternatives.

The dilemma stems from having two very human parts. The head and the heart. The head might agree with the logic of the statement. The heart, however, contests it loudly. I find it to be a meddlesome creature that takes over and argues loudly and quite insistently with the logic centre, until I finally have to cave and again add my two cents AGAINST what I had previously supported in principle.

And it gets worse.

Having no answers to the great question of happiness, my base argument at this point can go no further than "NO!! Not YOU, man. Not YOU!!!"

I've been battling all morning with this response. On the surface it appeared very superficial and selfish. The more I delved into it, tho, the stronger and deeper it got. It morphed beyond how such a loss would affect ME and threw me into a world beyond myself. Maybe it's the season, but I started to liken the experience to the old classic "Its a Wonderful Life" (with a definite Burner Bent that's sorely missing from the movie).

Now I can't claim to know you that well. Our personal conversations have been few, but have touched me deeply. Ironically, it's your acceptance of suicide that drew me in at first, when we were first discussing you making stones for my sister. Your unconditional acceptance and lack of judgement on how the person had passed made it clear that you were the PERFECT person to be providing loved ones with their stones. There's an undeniable reverence and respect you put into your service that rebounds a thousandfold back to you by the folks you provide it to, and everyone who reads about it.

You TOUCH people. Dammit. YOU do. There's something about you that is unique and wonderful and very unfortunately irreplaceable, that goes so far beyond just "what you do". It's who you ARE. What you emanate. You, yourself, are a touchstone. Human and flawed and real and conscious of being filled with both the beauty and the beast. Having felt the beauty I refuse to sit back and accept that the beast should win and pluck such a precious and necessary energy from our midst. Because your energy affects ALL of ours. And having it forcefully removed is not something we, by our very nature, can just sit back and let happen without putting up some kind of a fight.

Therefore, I have to apologetically rescind my previous acceptance and take the loud and obnoxious stance of "Not YOU!!".

...and hope you understand...

[theCryptofishist]

My own experience of dark days says that feeling suicidal is not bad, but committing it is. I believe that suicidal thoughts come not from the "true self" (whatever the fuck that means) but an inner storm or drought or other sort of distortion. Perhaps this makes me unsuited to arguing with someone who is facing that cliff. My particular style is not to criticize what people are feeling, and I don't really have the ability to persuade them that despite their feelings, suicide is a waste of goodness.

[goathead]

In my life Hwy 447, work, sickness, my heart, are a bigger threat to me then myself.
The question is do you want to understand?
This is something I made peace with many, many, years ago.

It has nothing to do with happy, sad, blah, blah, blah, sniveling bullshit.
It just is.

You get to close and I will push away.
Insist on "saving" me and I will get mean and cranky.

On a side note I am extremely busy at work right now, which is the reason I haven't been around much.
Plus I have been adjusting my attitude with some exothermic energy release therapy.


fuck, feel like the gay being saved by the christians. grrrrrrrr

[theCryptofishist]

Sorry, goathead. We care. And so we are a little clingy right now. I'll back up and let you do what you must, but remember that I'm around if you need me.

[Elliot]

.
YAY! Goathead is his usual healthy cranky self!

We now return to our regularly scheduled program, in progress.

[delle]

fuck, feel like the gay being saved by the christians. grrrrrrrr

At least they can say "God made me do it". We've got no-one to blame but ourselves.

[Sham]

Hey Goathead, I may be knocking on your door very soon. I know exactly how to get to Gerlach. By the way, which house is yours?

[maryanimal]

Goathead, you live in Gerlach?? YaY!!

[ygmir]

Hey Goathead, I may be knocking on your door very soon. I know exactly how to get to Gerlach. By the way, which house is yours?

loud noises, black smoke, and go against the flow of people running and screaming.

[goathead]

Monalot is here now.
Showed her this thread.

So I am under LMAO adult care......
Needless to say first time home in a couple of weeks and we are both giggling.


she says I can't leave without her.



still don't change who I am, she just accepts me as I am.
She is the anchor in my life, keeps me here, for now.


Sham why the fuck would you want to come to Gerlach this time of year?
Fuck It's cold, we work to hard, we drink to much, but then again we do blow shit up and BURN things we we need to giggle.
To the rest of you fuckers what the hell you doing in here?
Nothing to see.
Go out and blow something up, BURN something.
Slackers

Fuck Your Day.

[Simon of the Playa]

goddammit.


i was already planning on redo-ing his bus in red crushed velvet and mirrored ceilings...


hope you have a merry fucking soltice or whatever the hell it is they do in that lawless god-forsaken wasteland that i so much want to move to, but i'm not right in the head, but i digress.


what was i talking about?

oh yeah, GoatHead's Bus...which i had dibbs on until you people butted in and told him how much we love him blah blah blah...

it's like this, some people shake hands, some hug, some send dictated e-mails, and some say fuck you as a term of endearment.

fuck you, you fucking crochety old stubborn bastard...

sincerely,

the fucking crotchety middle-aged stubborn bastard.

[goathead]

fuck you
MonaLot has the bus

would have thought you would go for the firearms and explosives.
fucking hippy....

[Simon of the Playa]

i was thinking live-in rolling meth lab.

[goathead]

you know thinking for you is not recommended.

but I have found that engineers really do take 400 mg of acid, before, during, and after work.
Just look at the P&ID drawings.
make a tee shirt and I will wear it.

fuckers.
22,000 acres and you give me THIS?
assholes

[lucky420]

I can see why Monalot would raise your spirits...

[goathead]

I can see why Monalot would raise your spirits...

[goathead]

goddammit.

hope you have a merry fucking soltice or whatever the hell it is they do in that lawless god-forsaken wasteland that i so much want to move to, but i'm not right in the head, but i digress.

we are think about installing a stripper pole at Joe's