How to You Stand Missing a Burn?

whitemistress · Post by **whitemistress** » Thu May 26, 2011 12:39 pm

Okay people...those of you who have had the terrible experience of having to miss a Burn after having been, how did/do you deal with it?

Last year was my first Burn. I had heard about it before the Burn previous but didn't have enough heads up to arrange to go (I got to sorta experience parts of it via webcam, though). Now having been, I know that the webcam won't give me what I need, although I'm sure it'll alleviate some of the homesickness (about as much as a baby aspirin for a migraine).

I would try to throw some sort of "too bad we couldn't go" party(ies), but EVERYone I know who's been or interested in going IS going...so I'll be all on my lonesome.

I REALLY wish I could go this year, but there's no way with having just bought a house (read: no extra money) and no vacation time from my new(ish) job. I definitely won't miss next year for anything, but it's so far off! I feel like crying sometimes reading BM stuff (like today's announcement that there's only 100 days 'til the Man Burns) knowing that I can't participate this year (except to perhaps contribute something for my friends to take with them).

So, how did/do you cope?

Post by **Savannah** » Thu May 26, 2011 12:55 pm

I missed 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2007. It was a choice the first, and maybe second times. In the later two years, it wasn't, and I was unhappy.

I handled it by scheduling fun things to do the week of, and rigorously screening out the never-ending litany of burner posts on various blogs and social networking sites. (I wasn't on ePlaya at all then). I found them very torturous to read.

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Thu May 26, 2011 1:03 pm

A lot of people watch the live-cam feed. I know in Charlotte they have a "White Out" party, for all the burners who couldn't make it.

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Thu May 26, 2011 2:26 pm

See if your state has an orphaner event. Its just the friday night saturday and sunday. And there is a liive feed of the man burning on saturday. I haven't been as I get to go to BRC. But I know many that do in TX.

Post by **Elderberry** » Thu May 26, 2011 2:35 pm

How do you cope? Is that a serious question? For a two year old maybe. But what adult has difficulty coping with not being able to take a vacation? Now if you were defaulting on your mortgage and your house was foreclosed on and you are now living on the street with no job, I MIGHT be able to understand your coping problem.

illy dilly · Post by **illy dilly** » Thu May 26, 2011 3:30 pm

jkisha wrote:How do you cope? Is that a serious question? For a two year old maybe. But what adult has difficulty coping with not being able to take a vacation? Now if you were defaulting on your mortgage and your house was foreclosed on and you are now living on the street with no job, I MIGHT be able to understand your coping problem.

WOW Jkisha, You're just all sorts of grumpy today huh? Are you ok, are ya venting frustrations through ePlaya?
Maybe go drink something, or better yet smoke something, chill out and give it another shot tomorrow.

Whitemistress,
I have no idea. I figure I'd drink my self stupid?
Or go ahead and be sad about it, its ok to be pissed/sad about some stuff some times.
Or maybe dedicate that whole week, to making cool stuff so that next year you are already ahead of the game.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu May 26, 2011 4:49 pm

Get over it, find something else to do.
Yes, heresy!

Post by **Elderberry** » Thu May 26, 2011 5:03 pm

illy dilly wrote:
jkisha wrote:How do you cope? Is that a serious question? For a two year old maybe. But what adult has difficulty coping with not being able to take a vacation? Now if you were defaulting on your mortgage and your house was foreclosed on and you are now living on the street with no job, I MIGHT be able to understand your coping problem.
WOW Jkisha, You're just all sorts of grumpy today huh? Are you ok, are ya venting frustrations through ePlaya?
Maybe go drink something, or better yet smoke something, chill out and give it another shot tomorrow.

Nope, not the least bit grumpy. Just don't have much patience with someone having issues because they can't go on a camping trip. Not going to BM should not be an issue requiring therapy or special coping skills. Can't go? Too bad. There's always next year, or the year after if you can't make it then either. Thats all there is to "coping" with not being able to go. The end. But thanks for your concern illy dilly.

illy dilly · Post by **illy dilly** » Thu May 26, 2011 5:52 pm

jkisha wrote:
illy dilly wrote:
jkisha wrote:How do you cope? Is that a serious question? For a two year old maybe. But what adult has difficulty coping with not being able to take a vacation? Now if you were defaulting on your mortgage and your house was foreclosed on and you are now living on the street with no job, I MIGHT be able to understand your coping problem.
WOW Jkisha, You're just all sorts of grumpy today huh? Are you ok, are ya venting frustrations through ePlaya?
Maybe go drink something, or better yet smoke something, chill out and give it another shot tomorrow.

Nope, not the least bit grumpy. Just don't have much patience with someone having issues because they can't go on a camping trip. Not going to BM should not be an issue requiring therapy or special coping skills. Can't go? Too bad. There's always next year, or the year after if you can't make it then either. Thats all there is to "coping" with not being able to go. The end. But thanks for your concern illy dilly.

No worries, just looking out.
And I do agree with you. But keep in mind, you've been a bunch of times, right?
I've only been twice, and I'm in the same boat as WhiteMistress, I'd be pissed if something kept me from the burn. But it would take a lot to keep me from the burn.
Maybe after you've been a bunch of times, it is just a camping trip again. I have 'camping trips' that I try not to miss each year, but if I do O well.
I figure, to us experience newbies its more than just a camping trip.

Post by **Elderberry** » Thu May 26, 2011 7:14 pm

illy dilly wrote:
jkisha wrote:
illy dilly wrote: WOW Jkisha, You're just all sorts of grumpy today huh? Are you ok, are ya venting frustrations through ePlaya?
Maybe go drink something, or better yet smoke something, chill out and give it another shot tomorrow.

Nope, not the least bit grumpy. Just don't have much patience with someone having issues because they can't go on a camping trip. Not going to BM should not be an issue requiring therapy or special coping skills. Can't go? Too bad. There's always next year, or the year after if you can't make it then either. Thats all there is to "coping" with not being able to go. The end. But thanks for your concern illy dilly.
No worries, just looking out.
And I do agree with you. But keep in mind, you've been a bunch of times, right?
I've only been twice, and I'm in the same boat as WhiteMistress, I'd be pissed if something kept me from the burn. But it would take a lot to keep me from the burn.
Maybe after you've been a bunch of times, it is just a camping trip again. I have 'camping trips' that I try not to miss each year, but if I do O well.
I figure, to us experience newbies its more than just a camping trip.

The number of times I have been has nothing to do with it. Don't we go to BM in part to learn how to live in the moment? Life is what you make it. Just like getting old...you can't do anything about it, so you either embrace it and enjoy each new decade and all it has to offer and be happy, or you don't, and be miserable. She can't go, she can't change that based on other choices she made, so she needs to use the time to maybe enjoy that new house...fix it up or redecorate a room or work on the yard. Otherwise why did she even bother to buy her house if that decision is going to make her so miserable because she now has to "give up so much"? You make your choices in life, hopefully they should make your life happier.

If all this doesn't make any sense to her, my advice would be to sell her house and go to the burn.

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Thu May 26, 2011 7:26 pm

OH MY GOD how I miss Burning Man*fist thrusting into the sky and shaking* Why OH Why can't I cope with missing all that is sacred*falling to knees with head in hands* What will I do?? Where will I go?? wha.....oh yeah...*blush* I haven't even gone yet. Just practicing my non-coping skills.

illy dilly · Post by **illy dilly** » Thu May 26, 2011 7:35 pm

Jkisha, you make a good point. But the mount of times a person has been plays a huge role! It changes how you feel about it. Your second burn is not as new as your first. And after you have been 5 or 6 times you might not think that it is so important to go each year.
Though, I agree. We were close to buying a place this year.... then realized that we wouldn't be able to make the burn this year.... So we'll keep renting for a year. But to each their own.

Maryanimal, its never to early to start practicing! Now, also don't forget to work on your "Its the last day and I don't get to come back for 51 weeks" cry!

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Thu May 26, 2011 8:18 pm

illy dilly wrote: Maryanimal, its never to early to start practicing! Now, also don't forget to work on your "Its the last day and I don't get to come back for 51 weeks" cry!

I'll get to that right away ill dilly!

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Thu May 26, 2011 8:32 pm

So, how did/do you cope?

I remind myself that at least I'm not spending the week with asswipes like Jkisha.

In addition, we have the 'Burn Without The Bother' camp out 'round these parts. Saved my bacon in '08 when I had to take a year off after 8 in a row.

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Thu May 26, 2011 8:37 pm

I think you need a little more of the hand on the forehead action. If you are going for the dramatic effect, there you go.

Is there a listing somewhere of the local burns that happen over BM for those that can't make it. I know the website has the regional websites but at least the Texas one doesn't have any info on Orphaner. That might be handy for those that can't make it.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu May 26, 2011 8:42 pm

Anyone who wants to can start a thread in one of the 2011 sub-fora for that.
Possible titles: Camp Envy, 2012; We Like to Watch; or Yeah, Well, I Don't Need to Go to TTITD (Sub-Text: I'm Too Cool).

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Thu May 26, 2011 8:44 pm

TTiTD? I am so not cool.

Love ya Fishy.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu May 26, 2011 8:50 pm

The Thing in the Desert. Most of the people who I've seen use it seem to use it as a tool to, not necessarily be "burnier than thou" but to put a little distance between themselves and some of the more enthusiastic and/or stereotypical members of the *community*.

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Thu May 26, 2011 8:57 pm

Ah. Yes because abbreviating things into nonsense always shows hierarchy.

PFH. Kids today. lol.

Post by **Elderberry** » Thu May 26, 2011 9:07 pm

Sensei wrote:
So, how did/do you cope?
I remind myself that at least I'm not spending the week with asswipes like Jkisha.

In addition, we have the 'Burn Without The Bother' camp out 'round these parts. Saved my bacon in '08 when I had to take a year off after 8 in a row.

LOL Hey you'll like me when you meet me.

Post by **Elderberry** » Thu May 26, 2011 9:09 pm

FaeTora wrote:TTiTD? I am so not cool.

Love ya Fishy.

I finally decided to google it a few weeks ago.

goathead · Post by **goathead** » Thu May 26, 2011 9:23 pm

I would have to go to work for Bruno's gas station and steal all of their gas caps and sell them back to them.

or just party with DPW at the Black Rock

whitemistress · Post by **whitemistress** » Fri May 27, 2011 8:41 am

wow... way to read the melodrama... Well, I guess going back to read it, I can see how you can read it that way. I was actually seriously asking for ideas to either keep my mind off the fact that I won't be out there or else let me enjoy some semblance of it.

While I agree that many of the experiences and lessons of Burning Man are transferable to the rest of the world, many are not. Those ones which are unique to the time out there are the ones I know I will miss.

And, yes, I will be able to go next year, but that doesn't make missing this year much less of a sting. Burning Man is more than just a camping trip--even for my campmates who've been 10 years. If it was just a camping trip, I could do that on my own.

So if anyone has any serious ideas...I would like to hear those. Thanks to those of you who have made recommendations. I doubt there's a white-out party around here...I literally live in the middle of nowhere, hours from any real city, but I'll see what I can find; might be fun to take a few hour drive for something like that for the weekend...though that still leaves the rest of the week.

neon tetra · Post by **neon tetra** » Fri May 27, 2011 8:49 am

I'm missing one of my favorite festivals of the year this weekend & it's not easy.

I had much more fun there last year than Burning Man.

http://binarystarfish.blogspot.com/2011 ... mp-10.html

I need to save $ and miles on the car though, so much other stuff going on this summer.

goathead · Post by **goathead** » Fri May 27, 2011 9:30 am

mine was serious, but then I live here.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri May 27, 2011 12:56 pm

I couldn't go last year, car trouble, so I found out on the morning I was going. I chatted on the board a bit, and with other people I knew in "camp envy" and I survived it. At this point, it doesn't really sting at all. A year from now it will be in the past. A little detachment, a little meditative watching of how you run around in a maze when you don't get what you want... good for the spirit, really.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri May 27, 2011 1:37 pm

Make your own pathetic mini-Burn, in your back yard or even in an ashtray with two crossed matches. Yes, even this shall help expiate your sins.

MyDearFriend · Post by **MyDearFriend** » Fri May 27, 2011 6:10 pm

goathead wrote:I would have to go to work for Bruno's gas station and steal all of their gas caps and sell them back to them.

or just party with DPW at the Black Rock

goathead wrote:mine was serious, but then I live here.

I would come and join you in your life of crime, if I had to walk the whole way barefoot.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Fri May 27, 2011 6:39 pm

Blow something up

Burn down some great public building.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Fri May 27, 2011 6:58 pm

I have a small stove, that looks like a pig. Filled it with pine needles and set on fire, on burn night.