How to Tell a "Real Burner"

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Sep 09, 2011 8:24 pm

Okay, I think they don't exist. Or to be more precise: A Real Burner is the person who does it just the way I think she/he should.

And then there are other "tells".

Such as:
A "Real Burner" (I should really learn how to do that trademark thing...) sleeps through the loud music from the bar/camp ten feet away.
Or
A "Real Burner" thinks that Obama got the figure "447 Billion" from the road to Wadsworth.

Any to add?

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Fri Sep 09, 2011 8:33 pm

Real Burners lunge on that piece of bacon which dropped to the playa and is nearly invisible with dust.

H.G.Crosby · Post by **H.G.Crosby** » Fri Sep 09, 2011 8:34 pm

is back on eplaya 30 minutes after arriving in defaultia.

junglesmacks · Post by **junglesmacks** » Fri Sep 09, 2011 8:40 pm

Real burners don't flex nuts, 'cause real burners know they got 'em.

Post by **Eric** » Fri Sep 09, 2011 8:51 pm

I think a "real Burner" is one who is shocked that our living encyclopedia of All Things Eplaya doesn't remember the other threads this has been covered in over the years:

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?p=528914

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?p=350558

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?p=42907

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?p=121696

I out-fished the Fish! Color me shocked!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Sep 09, 2011 9:26 pm

Whoops.

junglesmacks · Post by **junglesmacks** » Fri Sep 09, 2011 9:42 pm

Real burners snarkishly yet lovingly search for previous threads on the same-ish topic. Obv.

Eric wrote:I think a "real Burner" is one who is shocked that our living encyclopedia of All Things Eplaya doesn't remember the other threads this has been covered in over the years:

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?p=528914

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?p=350558

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?p=42907

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?p=121696

I out-fished the Fish! Color me shocked!

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Fri Sep 09, 2011 9:50 pm

snort

gaminwench · Post by **gaminwench** » Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:55 pm

Real Burners accept snark as the love it is...

Post by **Eric** » Sat Sep 10, 2011 12:20 am

gaminwench wrote:Real Burners accept snark as the love it is...

I absolutely love Fishy, and she knows it (in real life, even!). I was honestly shocked she didn't remember the other threads about this because she can find threads none of the rest of us knew even existed, and my feeble brain remembered those.

The CO · Post by **The CO** » Sat Sep 10, 2011 12:26 am

Real burners, like honey badgers, DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

polyresin · Post by **polyresin** » Sat Sep 10, 2011 12:30 am

Real burners check burningman.com five times a day for the new theme... or wait, that's OCD control freak burners like me actually.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sat Sep 10, 2011 9:45 am

Eric wrote:
gaminwench wrote:Real Burners accept snark as the love it is...
I absolutely love Fishy, and she knows it (in real life, even!). I was honestly shocked she didn't remember the other threads about this because she can find threads none of the rest of us knew even existed, and my feeble brain remembered those.

Eric's okay. Eric's wonderful. Except for his habit of not being at Fandango when I'm looking for him. I'll have to have dinner with him later this month.

OregonRed · Post by **OregonRed** » Sat Sep 10, 2011 10:42 am

Real Burners leave their feathers at home.

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Sat Sep 10, 2011 10:46 am

... say hello, and mean it.

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Sat Sep 10, 2011 2:43 pm

Real burners haul out the trash.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Sat Sep 10, 2011 2:51 pm

Real burners leave burn scars...
...on their fingers.

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Sat Sep 10, 2011 5:51 pm

Is that to say, real burners don't use roach clips?

arcane · Post by **arcane** » Sun Sep 11, 2011 3:57 pm

A real Burner is a bartender at Fandango. BTW, fuck your burn.

Zhust · Post by **Zhust** » Sun Sep 11, 2011 8:27 pm

A "Real Burner" doesn't judge other people's burniness.

A "Real Burner" combines antithetical feeling in every greeting.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Sep 11, 2011 8:40 pm

"real" burners, are humans.
And as such, vary.
One might submit, a "real" burner, doesn't care, who a "real" burner is, or what makes them that way.
They just accept, "what is, who is, where is".

and, love to be judgmental and snarky.......it's a sport here.

Post by **Elderberry** » Sun Sep 11, 2011 8:44 pm

jaycerochester wrote:A "Real Burner" doesn't judge other people's burniness.

A "Real Burner" combines antithetical feeling in every greeting.

Hello! I love you! I hate you!

Is that what you mean?

gaminwench · Post by **gaminwench** » Sun Sep 11, 2011 10:23 pm

F*ck yer day!

Post by **Eric** » Sun Sep 11, 2011 10:43 pm

arcane wrote:A real Burner is a bartender at Fandango. BTW, fuck your burn.

I'm so sad that I can't scream "why do you hate me" in your ear over the eplaya like I can from behind the bar.

You & Ariel kick some serious ass, fyi.

~Vibes~ · Post by **~Vibes~** » Sun Sep 11, 2011 11:50 pm

Real burners give all they got and then give more...

Real burners then play the game known as "what you got left" i.e. making people take shots of worcestershire sauce in my bar and then making them chase it with warm gin...

Real burners always ask virgins how much water they drank today???

Real burners volunteer ar as many facilities as they can in a day @ BRC...

Real burners aren't DARKWADS...

goathead · Post by **goathead** » Mon Sep 12, 2011 3:57 am

hmmmmm, I must be doing it wrong.

must be more of a honey badger.

Fuck your day

moonrise · Post by **moonrise** » Mon Sep 12, 2011 4:24 am

What's burning man? What's a burner?

Fandango is one of my favorite fucking bars, wild wild fun and fuck yer day!! (Eric you were sleeping in candyland, it was primo to meet you, and everyone else at the MnG, yer all special!! lmfao)

MyDearFriend · Post by **MyDearFriend** » Mon Sep 12, 2011 4:31 am

+100 on Fandango, and it was great to see the eplaya bench out front there.

(((Moon))) YOU are a Burner and I sure got Burnt!

Thanks a million! *smooch*

GH: I wanna be honey badger when I grow up.

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Mon Sep 12, 2011 4:32 am

there are real burners? thank fuck i thought my fevered imagination just created all those people i met to prevent inasanity from getting to strong a grip.
oh btw i get fuck your day now eric.
real burners go twice and dont count the last time

goathead · Post by **goathead** » Mon Sep 12, 2011 5:09 am

Careful kids

or

DPW will be coming to take you away.....

How to Tell a "Real Burner"

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