Ask Eric

Post by **Eric** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:21 pm

jkisha wrote:Dear Eric,

Why should pajamas and naked boys preclude a Youtube video? Sounds made for Youtube to me!

What part of "I'm just not sharing them" wasn't in English? And I said "half-naked" - I make them wear dress socks with garters, a bondage collar & a top hat.

Post by **Elderberry** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:25 pm

Dear Eric,

Why are you so selfish?

Post by **Savannah** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:30 pm

CornMan · Post by **CornMan** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:33 pm

Dear Eric,

In the past few years, I have walked around the playa holding a bungee ball by the plastic ball end. I'd walk up to a person with the elastic pointed toward them, and they'd grab the elastic end and instinctively pull on it in response to when I pulled it away from them. When I felt there was enough tension, I'd let go of the ball resulting in a painful whack against their knuckles. While I still find this funny and still laugh when I do it, I'm getting a hankering for something new. Do you know any fun new pranks to do with bungee balls?

Thank you, CM

Post by **Eric** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:36 pm

jkisha wrote:Why are you so selfish?

I like to live up to the stereotypes of my people.

CornMan wrote:Do you know any fun new pranks to do with bungee balls?

No.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:49 pm

Eric wrote:
CornMan wrote:Do you know any fun new pranks to do with bungee balls?
No.

Psst Eric: Ben Wa,, CornMan will love that!

Conduit · Post by **Conduit** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 4:02 pm

Eric -

I have 2 best friends, 1 is gay and the other is a Jew (I know, I need new friends). I have been very successful for years now harassing them individually but am now stuck. My question to you is, how do I best combine gay and Jew jokes to be as offensive as possible?

CornMan · Post by **CornMan** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 4:27 pm

Eric wrote:
CornMan wrote:Do you know any fun new pranks to do with bungee balls?
No.

This Ask Eric thing doesn't seem to be working out for me anymore. I'll have to go back to asking the entire eplaya community my questions.

Post by **Eric** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 4:43 pm

ygmir wrote:
Eric wrote:
CornMan wrote:Do you know any fun new pranks to do with bungee balls?
No.
Psst Eric: Ben Wa,, CornMan will love that!

Too easy.

Conduit wrote:Eric -

I have 2 best friends, 1 is gay and the other is a Jew (I know, I need new friends). I have been very successful for years now harassing them individually but am now stuck. My question to you is, how do I best combine gay and Jew jokes to be as offensive as possible?

Introduce them to me. It doesn't get more offensive than that.

CornMan wrote:This Ask Eric thing doesn't seem to be working out for me anymore. I'll have to go back to asking the entire eplaya community my questions.

A public breakup? Always with the drama...

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 5:59 pm

Dear Eric, when needing to use the JOTS, which do you prefer. The ends ones, the middle ones or the Handicap JOTS for that extra room... And do you take TP with you??

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 6:08 pm

Eric wrote:
graidawg wrote:I don't actually have a question for you, but i find your replies to be entertaining and amusing as well as sometimes educational. Is it ok to still post in this thread?

I always welcome worship. Your post is acceptable.

thank you Eric.

oh yes Dear Eric, i have a massive crush on one of the mods, can you suggest anything i could do to make myself more appealing to them? I mean one of the mods other than you, because you are way out of my league.

MacGlenver · Post by **MacGlenver** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 6:10 pm

Conduit wrote:Eric -

I have 2 best friends

You can't have 2 best friends. It's a contradiction in terms. Pick one.

Post by **Sham** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 6:20 pm

MacGlenver wrote:
Conduit wrote:Eric -

I have 2 best friends
You can't have 2 best friends. It's a contradiction in terms. Pick one.

You're not Eric. Only Eric is Eric.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 6:40 pm

graidawg wrote:
Eric wrote:
graidawg wrote:I don't actually have a question for you, but i find your replies to be entertaining and amusing as well as sometimes educational. Is it ok to still post in this thread?
I always welcome worship. Your post is acceptable.

thank you Eric.

oh yes Dear Eric, i have a massive crush on one of the mods, can you suggest anything i could do to make myself more appealing to them? I mean one of the mods other than you, because you are way out of my league.

mdfm007, you're lucky night is at hand.

grai--go post in his thread.

Sorry, Eric, I got carried away.

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 6:42 pm

theCryptofishist wrote: mdfm007, you're lucky night is at hand.

grai--go post in his thread.

Sorry, Eric, I got carried away.

But i can't it say not to post there

Post by **Eric** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 7:06 pm

ibdave wrote:Dear Eric, when needing to use the JOTS, which do you prefer. The ends ones, the middle ones or the Handicap JOTS for that extra room... And do you take TP with you??

The one without shit on the seat, where-ever it is. I bring more than TP, I bring a boy to wipe my delicate ass so I don't get my dainty hands dirty.

graidawg wrote:oh yes Dear Eric, i have a massive crush on one of the mods, can you suggest anything i could do to make myself more appealing to them? I mean one of the mods other than you, because you are way out of my league.

The Mods are all out of everyone's league. We can't even date each other.

Shambala wrote:
MacGlenver wrote:
Conduit wrote:Eric -

I have 2 best friends
You can't have 2 best friends. It's a contradiction in terms. Pick one.
You're not Eric. Only Eric is Eric.

Sham is correct. Until someone springs an "ask" thread on you, you have to simmer in silence.

graidawg wrote:But i can't it say not to post there

This is proof that even the English can butcher english.

Post by **Eric** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 7:09 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:mdfm007, you're lucky night is at hand.
grai--go post in his thread.
Sorry, Eric, I got carried away.

You give me a run for my snarky, you are forgiven.

This time.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 8:17 pm

I worship your forgiveness of my trespass and of my egregious grammar error.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 8:54 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:I worship your forgiveness of my trespass and of my egregious grammar error.

hhhhmmmmmmmmmm

JayBobBoy · Post by **JayBobBoy** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 9:26 pm

This has to be my favorite thread ever!

Why can't I think of anything good to ask?

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 9:33 pm

Dear Eric, Eplaya member Gyre is one of the reasons I stop hanging out here... WTF is his problem?

grenadine · Post by **grenadine** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 9:49 pm

Dear Eric,

Which actor would you choose to portray you in the cinematic version of "Dear Eric"? (if you won't do a show, we'll just have to hire someone to do a dramatic portrayal, pjs and all)

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 10:09 pm

grenadine wrote:Dear Eric,

Which actor would you choose to portray you in the cinematic version of "Dear Eric"? (if you won't do a show, we'll just have to hire someone to do a dramatic portrayal, pjs and all)

Please let it be Peaches Christ

Post by **Eric** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 10:11 pm

JayBobBoy wrote:This has to be my favorite thread ever!

Why can't I think of anything good to ask?

Since when has "good" been a requirement?

ibdave wrote:Dear Eric, Eplaya member Gyre is one of the reasons I stop hanging out here... WTF is his problem?

I think the problem is yours - "plonking" exists just for this type of situation.

grenadine wrote:Which actor would you choose to portray you in the cinematic version of "Dear Eric"? (if you won't do a show, we'll just have to hire someone to do a dramatic portrayal, pjs and all)

Tilda Swinton. No one else has the cajones.

ibdave wrote:Please let it be Peaches Christ

I don't wear corsets.

grenadine · Post by **grenadine** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 10:43 pm

And who should portray the half-nude boyfriend?

Post by **Eric** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 10:54 pm

grenadine wrote:And who should portray the half-nude boyfriend?

I said boys, not boyfriend. There is a difference.
Daniel Radcliffe would be acceptable, as would Henry Cavill, With them in the movie, I would, of course, portray myself.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 11:02 pm

Dear Eric, what is up with you and Elliot?

Post by **Eric** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 12:25 am

Ugly Dougly wrote:Dear Eric, what is up with you and Elliot?

As if a parody thread is a new thing on ePlaya. Though if it's a parody of this one, it must be pretty serious.

Post by **Sham** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:10 am

Dear Eric,
Are you comfortable with your new fame and the possibility of being one of the elite known to the world just by your first name? (What would Eric do?) WWED?

Theraplst · Post by **Theraplst** » Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:56 am

Dear Eric, why do you REALLY hate shaving so much?

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