"One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

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illy dilly
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by illy dilly » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:25 pm

Take a lot of drugs, drink only beer, DO NOT drink water. When you wake up in the hospital, hug everyone and leave.
Don't plan on paying the bill.
Why don't ya stick your head in that hole and find out? ~piehole
Plan for the worst, expect the best. Make the most out of it under any conditions. If you cannot do that you will never enjoy yourself. ~CrispyDave

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Jackass
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Jackass » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:26 pm

Ride your bike (with shiny things on it) downtown to your local chamber of commerce/visitor center and ask them where you can locate "Pleasure Fist" or if you could use their computers to find out where your friend "Twodogsfucking" is camped at.
Sooner or later, it will get real strange...

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Roberto Dobbisano
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Roberto Dobbisano » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:29 pm

go off of your meds, NOW.
"10 principles? you cant HANDLE the 10 principles..."

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by H.G.Crosby » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:31 pm

Roberto Dobbisano wrote:go off of your meds, NOW.
all of them?
Once I noticed I was on fire, I decided to relax and enjoy the fall™

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Simon of the Playa
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Simon of the Playa » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:32 pm

DRUG HOLIDAY !!!
Frida Be You & Me

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lemur
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by lemur » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:32 pm

start pounding bottles of robotusson now... youll want to have a healthy tolerance by the night the man burns, ..you dont want to pass out face down in the dust.... AGAIN.
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illy dilly
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by illy dilly » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:46 pm

Start working on a catchy phrase for your "I need a ticket sign" for standing around Gerlach.
Why don't ya stick your head in that hole and find out? ~piehole
Plan for the worst, expect the best. Make the most out of it under any conditions. If you cannot do that you will never enjoy yourself. ~CrispyDave

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Savannah
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Savannah » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:52 pm

illy dilly wrote:Take a lot of drugs, drink only beer, DO NOT drink water. When you wake up in the hospital, hug everyone and leave.
Don't plan on paying the bill.
:lol:
*** 2018 Survival Guide ***

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Mr. Just Right
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Mr. Just Right » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:54 pm

Practice staying up for a few days and then driving as far as you can.

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maryanimal
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by maryanimal » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:54 pm

Make sure you have a joint behind your ear so you can share it with stranger you may meet on the playa! Namaste!
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Lonesomebri » Mon Jul 29, 2013 3:22 pm

If you see anyone with food or drinking something you'd like, just take it. It's all about giving.....

Run after random cars on your street, act indignant when they don't stop to give you a ride.

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by strange love » Mon Jul 29, 2013 4:53 pm

This works here too..

"1. Read Dhalgren by Samuel R. Delany. Read The City, Not Long After by Pat Murphy. Cut off the bindings, throw all the pages up in the air, and shuffle them back together. Reread The City After Dhalgren by Samuel Murphy. Burn it. Read the ashes.

2. Pay an escort of your affectional preference subset to not bathe for five days, cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky neon wig, dance close naked, then say they have a lover back home at the end of the night.

3. Tear down your house. Put it in a truck. Drive ten hours in any direction. Put the house back together. Invite everyone you meet to come over and party. When everyone leaves, follow them back to their homes, drink all their booze, and break things.

4. Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

5. Stack all your fans in one corner of your living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full-blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.

6. Pitch your tent next to the wall of speakers in a crowded, noisy club. Go to sleep.

7. Lean back in a chair until that point where you’re just about to fall over, but you catch yourself at the last moment. Hold that position for nine hours.

8. Only use the toilet in a house that is at least three blocks away. Drain all the water from the toilet. Only flush it every four days. Hide all the toilet paper.

9. Visit a restaurant and pay them to let you alternate lying in the walk-in freezer and sitting in the oven.

10. Don’t sleep for five days. Take a wide variety of hallucinogenic/emotion-altering drugs. Pick a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

11. Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don’t go to a doctor.

12. Buy a new pair of favorite shoes. Throw one shoe away.

13. Spend a whole year rummaging through thrift stores for the perfect, most outrageous costume. Forget to pack it.

14. Listen to music you hate for 168 hours straight, or until you think you are going to scream. Scream. Realize you’ll love the music for the rest of your life.

15. Bust your ass for a ‘community.’ See all the attention get focused on the drama queen crybaby.

16. Get so drunk you can’t recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for five hours.

17. Sprinkle dirty sand in all your food.

18. Mail $200 to the Reno casino of your choice.

19. Go to a museum. Find one of Salvador Dali’s more disturbing but beautiful paintings. Climb inside it.

20. Spend thousands of dollars on a deeply personal art work. Hide it in a funhouse on the edge of the city. Blow it up.

21. Set up a DJ system downwind of a three-alarm fire. Play a short loop of drum ‘n’ bass until the embers are cold.

22. Have a 3:00 AM soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile, and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you’re hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny."

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Canoe
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Canoe » Mon Jul 29, 2013 5:19 pm

Tape bubble-wrap to your steering wheel so you'll have something to do in line.
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
... but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Eric » Mon Jul 29, 2013 5:48 pm

I've always loved the "Burning Man at home" post (it has a bunch of other names to). I've always wondered who the original author was. I first read it probably sometime around 2006/2007, but it's been around longer than that - the earliest posting of it I can find is from 2003, but even that has a response saying the original author should be credited, with a dead-end link.
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by BBadger » Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:12 pm

Practice being this guy at a movie theater:

Image
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by theCryptofishist » Wed Jul 31, 2013 11:11 am

Get your dog chipped with your playa name, camp name and playa address.
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Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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Savannah
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Savannah » Wed Jul 31, 2013 11:12 am

:lol:
*** 2018 Survival Guide ***

"I must've lost it when I was twerking at the trash fence." -- BBadger

"Snark away, ePlaya, you magnificent bastards." -- McStrangle

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Box Burner
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Box Burner » Wed Jul 31, 2013 11:20 am

get some clothes painted on and then go to the county fair.
Dance in the heart of chaos. . . . .

ὁ δὲ ἀνεξέταστος βίος οὐ βιωτὸς ἀνθρώπῳ
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --- Σωκράτης

.

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Eric
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Eric » Wed Jul 31, 2013 11:45 am

Make sure every article of clothing you're wearing has bright, blinking lights on it, and then go for a drink at the neighborhood dive bar. Bring your own cup, try to leave without paying.
It's a camping trip in the desert, not the redemption of the fallen world - Cryptofishist

Regarding Scammers & Scalpers
Please read above link for all official information.

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Nipple
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Nipple » Wed Jul 31, 2013 12:11 pm

I've been asking my neighbor every morning if they mind if I use their shower.

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unjonharley
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by unjonharley » Wed Jul 31, 2013 1:46 pm

practice throwing you waste water into the street..

un out of the tav. to pee in the dark where everyone can step in it..

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Savannah
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Savannah » Wed Jul 31, 2013 1:48 pm

Walk naked into a crowded coffee shop and bribe your way to the front of the line with liquor.
*** 2018 Survival Guide ***

"I must've lost it when I was twerking at the trash fence." -- BBadger

"Snark away, ePlaya, you magnificent bastards." -- McStrangle

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by eLPea » Wed Jul 31, 2013 1:54 pm

Sit in your front yard some time around sun-up with a megaphone in one hand and a beer in the other and ask the morning joggers how the party was last night. Extra points for doing it under a carport.

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by graidawg » Wed Jul 31, 2013 3:13 pm

Savannah wrote:Walk naked into a crowded coffee shop and bribe your way to the front of the line with liquor.

this actually works at ice3, at least on mon, tues, weds or thursday between 9-12. the bribe is for the workers not the people in the queue though
FREE THE SHERPAS
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by robbidobbs » Wed Jul 31, 2013 3:45 pm

Don't flush your home toilet for a week. Throw "flushable wipes" in cause it doesn't matter, does it?
Leave your bottles, cans, underwear (soiled for preference) on the floor.
Crap on the seat.
Put out your cigarette and throw that in.
Drop a glow stick into the toilet, that's funny!
Write crude pictures of your junk on the wall.
Burn an incense with the windows closed. Lovely!
Get very drunk and vomit on the floor. Go to sleep on the floor.

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Mojojita » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:00 pm

eLPea wrote:Sit in your front yard some time around sun-up with a megaphone in one hand and a beer in the other and ask the morning joggers how the party was last night. Extra points for doing it under a carport.
Winner! Or,
Sit in your front yard with a megaphone and tell joggers that their butt looks big in those pants.
Ut ballista es interdico, tantum interdico mos fui ballista.

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theCryptofishist
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by theCryptofishist » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:03 pm

Mojojita wrote:
eLPea wrote:Sit in your front yard some time around sun-up with a megaphone in one hand and a beer in the other and ask the morning joggers how the party was last night. Extra points for doing it under a carport.
Winner! Or,
Sit in your front yard with a megaphone and tell joggers that their butt looks big in those pants.
Sorry, I think that's pretty normal default world behavior. At least on television commercials...
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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Savannah
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Savannah » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:04 pm

graidawg wrote:
Savannah wrote:Walk naked into a crowded coffee shop and bribe your way to the front of the line with liquor.

this actually works at ice3, at least on mon, tues, weds or thursday between 9-12. the bribe is for the workers not the people in the queue though
I know--but it got me kicked out of Starbucks.

This is the BAD Playa Prep thread.
*** 2018 Survival Guide ***

"I must've lost it when I was twerking at the trash fence." -- BBadger

"Snark away, ePlaya, you magnificent bastards." -- McStrangle

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robbidobbs
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by robbidobbs » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:16 pm

Walk to your neighbor's house and piss on their garage door.
Go to your neighborhood park and take a crap on the lawn.

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eLPea
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by eLPea » Wed Jul 31, 2013 5:14 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
Mojojita wrote:
eLPea wrote:Sit in your front yard some time around sun-up with a megaphone in one hand and a beer in the other and ask the morning joggers how the party was last night. Extra points for doing it under a carport.
Winner! Or,
Sit in your front yard with a megaphone and tell joggers that their butt looks big in those pants.
Sorry, I think that's pretty normal default world behavior. At least on television commercials...

True enough. Best spice it up by clarifying you like how big their butt looks, and then offering them some tequila motivation.

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