'Drunk Posting' is a Necessary Evil

[Ratty]

HEY! Why am I the only one posting in this thread. I get a bottle of wine once every couple of months. It gives 3 days of 1 glass a day. That gets me very drunk. Anyway.....Today I shredded a co-worker. In front of my boss. (That part doesn't matter.) That worthless waste of skin keeps going to the bar and helping himself to the espresso machine. Is he trying to teach my bartenders to steal? I've been in a foul mood for 2 days. Why? Fuck nose. I have 300 duties at work and the one I really hate keeps coming back. Counting the boss's money. I work in a casino. It would be a hell of a lot more interesting if we did it in the nude like in the movies. Tonight, (around 8 when I'm sober), I'll go back and do the stuff I enjoy. Office depot ordering, Shit I can't think of anything else I like. I don't even like office depot ordering.

So, it's daffodil season. They look glorious in the yard. FUCK. I'm way behind on my bm prep and at work. Do you think it has anything to do with me retiring this year. I'm supposed to write an office manual. Who the hell would take this job? I can't get enthusiastic about doing a bang up job when I'll be gone in 6 months. I love my boss. He's been the best ever. Put up with me. I've been there way too long. I need to clean out 2 room upstairs at my house. There's a 3rd room I can't even get to . Kiss, kiss

[Mountain Bobby]

HI Ratty
Didn't you to be alone on this thread....last night my cold was bothering me so it was a half a bottle of some generic night time cold medicine and a half bottle of Ouzo (it is good they taste the same)

Like Hemingway said, write drunk and edit sober

[MyDearFriend]

(((((((Ratty))))))) I love you but I can't Drunk Post with you anymore because, Amazon Prime is only one tab away and Drunk Shopping is too dangerous.

[gaminwench]

OMG, the drunk shopping!
I feel you, MDF.

[Ratty]

GLC Party posting. I'm beat.

[Ratty]

OK, ok. I'm on a BUNCH of email lists. I live near SF so there are 2 or 3 events every week. What really frosts my fanny is...."Please come to our fundraiser. OK. I'm in the city this Saturday so I'm game. WHAT! The first 3 tiers of tickets are sold out?! I could have attended for $3 but now it'll cost me $193.00. Really! I would go if you ever sent me an invite for a medium priced ticket. What am I? Your go-to guy for easy money. I'm evidently on your list but don't get the memo until all the cheap seats are sold. Wouldn't everybody make more money selling them all for a set price? I would attend a lot more events that way.

BTW I'm not your wife so don't lie to me.

[Ratty]

It's Friday and the beat goes on. This Sunday I hope to meet up with Robbi Dobbs. (Haven't seen her since 2015 burn.) Very excited about that. The Pride Parade in SF was great. Silly me. No sunscreen and now I'll peel like a grape. Got some Meeriweather from a friend. Too funny the twists and turns California takes. I built a 'Man Cave' for my hubby out in the yard. It's a section of carport to replace his giant umbrella set-up. He loves it. The list of honey-do grows instead of shrinks. Sew tent, make signs etc.... I like wine. It makes me a jolly good fella. I like wine. It helps me unwind and sometime it makes me to feel mellow.

[Perpetual Burn]

Necessary evil? It should BE necessary to be drunk when posting, or at least highly encouraged and accepted.

The Playa with no alcohol wouldn't be as fun... so let the shenanigans continue on the ePlaya!

[Ratty]

Karma can be a fickle bitch. I just got a call, (at home while I'm enjoying my wine), about someone losing their money in the tampon machine at work. Why me I ask. then I remember...

I'm at K-Mart and duck into the restroom for emergency supplies. WHAT! No machine! How could this be? A major store with 80 or 90% women shoppers and NO feminine hygiene machine. Well you can bet my blood boiled. (No pun intended.) I was told to go to 'will call' for supplies. Fuck that. I went to the store manager. After a lengthy and heated conversation I remember saying, "I want you to think of that tampon machine as a television set and my period as the Super Bowl. When the Super Bowl happens next month there better be a TV." There was.

Then there was the 'incident' at Oakland Airport. My kids were clawing at me. Begging me not to make a scene. How in the hell could Oakland FUCKING Airport not have a tampon machine? I didn't get arrested because my daughter was crying and they probably felt sorry for both of them. It was close.

Through the years there were many other confrontations.

Fast forward to 2009. The casino moves into a brand new building and somehow the hygiene machine keys end up on my key chain. That's all. I wanted to warn you. If you take a stand against, say, dogs pooping on the sidewalk. If you confront the owners and feel completely vindicated someday you will own a pooper scooper business. You'll pick up dog shit all day and ask yourself why me.

[MyDearFriend]

BTW I'm not your wife so don't lie to me.

I love this so much I am stealing it.

[Simon of the Playa]

https://media.giphy.com/media/3oriO3xoF ... /giphy.gif

[Simon of the Playa]

im so drunk that was supposed to go in the gif thread.

[Ratty]

I'm enjoying some wine in my favorite glass.

[Perpetual Burn]

Cheers!

Drinking $1 beers at my favorite bar...



Let the shenanigans commence!

[Perpetual Burn]

OMG what a glorious shit show... "had" to teach multiple people death is an illusion... how can you say something that's impossible to experience is real? But then again I've never been to China but I wouldn't say it doesn't exist...

Told wonderful folks about Lord Gordon... worked for the Bush family as a security guard... but mostly got paid in "exceptional" cookies... he also kicked a bowl of M&Ms at Donald Trump for insulting his beloved Barbara Bush... so many more epic stories about this sorcerer who got crucified at the age of three, probably new thread worthy...

Chillin with a disciple Frank Gallagher wishes he was as Shameless as...

And the most absurd irony is that the passionate drunkwadest attendee who can't stand the FRS was more annoyed by me, who agreed with all his tangential ramblings, had more arguments against me than all the people "who didn't care enough to listen to him"... but when I said let's burn down the Wells Fargo he said that's his bank... WTF?

Mondays...

[Ratty]

Hello my l old friend. The box of wine was empty so I went for a bottle of champagne gifted this year. I'm currently remaking a giant white tiger stuffed animal into a rug for my camp. (Good luck to me). I'm trying to hold off on sewing my gifts for the Amtrakathon because those need to be nicer. I don't often get drunk but it really snuck up on me today. Champagne is a bitch. I put my sewing machine away yesterday but now I feel a need to sew.

[Savannah]

I'm enjoying some wine in my favorite glass.

I ALMOST MISSED THAT.

Yay!

[Ratty]

New day. New box of wine. Did you ever drink out of that thing. Wow! It's got to have the most uncomfortable rim I've ever tasted. (TWSS.) I think I'll keep my keys in it instead. Love you.

[Captain Goddammit]

I've cracked open a bottle of really nice single malt scotch.
The Land Yacht is in the back yard, tires flat, doesn't run, interior mostly stripped out and what isn't is trashed... so, what the hell I'm not driving.

[Ratty]

Is this the week-end? It feels like a week-end. Going to the City for the third day in a row. I'm not driving.

[Miura-7]

Thanks for keeping drunk posting alive. I'm not drunk, but when I am, I'll have a plethora of meaningless thoughts to contribute to this wasteland forum. I don't have a breathalyzer, but if I did, how drunk do you have to be?

[mgb327]

How drunk? When you come-to in jail, you have to ask what county you are in.....

[lucky420]

How drunk? Whesn you come-to in jail, you have to ask what county you are in.....

[Miura-7]

If you are in an unknown jail, in an unknown county, how are you going to post without a cellphone? Wait!!! Let's keep that unknown.

[Miura-7]

Another Yuengling draft, and a double shot of Jaeger speaks. I think I'm gonna move to Iceland. If anyone asks where I am, tell them I did a butt naked swan dive into a volcano, and barely made a splash. If art mimics nature, I imagine there's a lot of original fire & ice art to see, and of course "Nice People."

[ygmir]

has anyone seen Erri 2000?

[tatonka]

[Miura-7]

Help! I'm a prisoner in my own mind, and I can't get out! Gotta remember to focus, OK inhale deep. One more time. One bourbon right. One scotch left. One beer right. Open! "THUNK!" Freee, Free at last!

[lucky420]

OK inhale deep

Good advice

[Ratty]

So, all week I have worked to give an estate sale for a stranger. A friend of a friend. I have zero idea if I'll get any thing out of this. Night and day. Today we took in a couple of thou at our sale. ( Side note, formal china sets are unsaleable no matter how nice they are.) Tomorrow is half price. Monday is Craig's List FREE. I've had fun. As usual it's inspiring how I should get rid of my belongings before I die. No. You're kids don't want your junk. Tomorrow is another sale day. Half price or less. Would you like a nice set of Nortake China for 5 bucks. It doesn't go in the microwave.