As noted elsewhere, dafydd and I have amicably ended our committed relationship. It was necessary, and probably long overdue, because we're just not healthy for each other anymore. And we haven't been for some time.
The last five years have been an amazing ride. We've shared some wonderful experiences, and some horrible ones. David has taught me more about myself than I think I ever believed I could learn. He gave and gave and gave of himself until he had nothing left to give - and he kept giving. And, sadly, I kept taking. And the bad habits grew, and grew, until we came to the impasse you see here. He looks at me, and he sees who I've been all this time, and not who I'm starting to become. And so his behavior doesn't change, to reflect the changes in my behavior, and I regress, and we start all over again. And it's been killing us both, slowly. So we take a deep breath, and a step back, and we move on.
Some acknowledgements are in order:
- Spider Robinson, wherever you are, thank you for giving us the Place. David might never have come back into my life if your bar hadn't been there for us to find.
Steve and Colleen Savitzky, thank you for opening your home lo, these many years, and giving us somewhere real to nurture our relationship when it was new.
Douglas, thank you, more than words can say, for letting me follow my heart.
Mom, thank you for welcoming David into our family. I hope you will again someday.
Chuck and Gillian, if you should see this, thank you. You did your level best to view our relationship with an open mind.
Tina, thank you for the last three years. This weekend wasn't an easy time for any of us, and I'm sorry you had to see it all happen...but I'm grateful that you were there for us both.
David.... I could spend the rest of the day listing off all the things you've given me - materially, emotionally, mentally - and I'd still forget half of them. So I'll just say Thank You one more time, and trust you'll understand. You always did.
There are no bad guys here. There are no enemies. David and I still love each other very much, and I don't expect that to change. But we need to love ourselves more.
(I haven't had net access at home for several days; we're still trying to figure out what the issue is. Replies to this will eventually receive responses, but I'm currently limited to the school computers, so they'll be slow in coming.)
